Facebook and his ex

[mystica 0]

Hello all - I would like to ask an advice if my reactions are wrong or did I only over reacted about it. Here is the story.

Me and my husband are married for a year a half now. I am green card holder. Few weeks after we got married, I found on his old computer an archive emails. With this email I saw a girl on webcam capture showing her boobies and flower while chatting with my husband. I confronted my husband about it and he said that he already stop talking to her and there is no relationship involve between the two of them. He also said that he already stop sending money to her. I asked him when did you stop talking to her and he said 4 months ago. I count the months I arrived here and its also 4 months, so he only stop talking to her when i arrived. It really hurt me allot but still I forgive him.

Last May, I found out that he created a facebook account with a different name. In short, he used an alias. At first, when I confront him about it. He denied about but when I mentioned the email address that he used on FB, he admitted that it is him. When I see it, the only friend he had in his FB account is the girl I saw on that webcam capture. I asked him, why you do that. He said that he is only curious whats going on with the girl. He wants to know if he is already married, has kids, if he has a boyfriend if not married, he just want to see her pictures. I asked why it is important to you to know all those kind of things about her. He said I do nothing wrong, I am just curious. He told me that I am only insecure (the girl has a big boobs). I told him back that you should have not marry and petition me. You should have petition and marry her instead of me. I really burst my anger that time, makes me say bad words to him ( i feel bad after I say those words). I went to my sister-in-laws house without informing him and he get angery at me of not telling him and we fight again. He said that "I will delete my FB account for your peace". He deactivated it infront of me and he asked forgiveness. He said its only a white lie. Then I forgive him again.

Today, I found out that he activated it again. It seems he cannot let go of this girl that he really need to see her. This really hurt me allot. He said that I am accusing him of something he did not do. Am I only over reacting? because I am really hurt.

[Anh map 2,098]

Your husband is being a dumbazz.

[prep.mac 7]

How's emotional infidelity?

Sorry you are going through this.

If I am in your shoes,either he does something about it consistently (and am willing to help him go through his "addiction" or fixation), go see a shrink or a marriage counselor or I leave.

Keep your chin up. He married you. There must be a good reason there. Talk to him?

God bless you!

[Tim/Mav 305]

Your husband is being a dumbazz.

I was really trying to avoid saying that myself. The Topic/Post indicates NOT A WHITE LIE. These are Serious Lies and will Continue. Never put your trust on a 3 leaf clover and make a wish.

[mystica 0]

How's emotional infidelity?

Sorry you are going through this.

If I am in your shoes,either he does something about it consistently (and am willing to help him go through his "addiction" or fixation), go see a shrink or a marriage counselor or I leave.

Keep your chin up. He married you. There must be a good reason there. Talk to him?

God bless you!

I already talk to him. He said that why I am thinking that he cheat. Have I not think what we have done together. He send me to school, we went to cruise, he helped my family and yet I am still thinking he is cheating.

[Tim/Mav 305]

I already talk to him. He said that why I am thinking that he cheat. Have I not think what we have done together. He send me to school, we went to cruise, he helped my family and yet I am still thinking he is cheating.

Talking to another woman behind your back without your knowledge is what American Women call "Cheating". If a Woman out there thinks I'm wrong about that, say so.

[mattene 13]

I'm from the U.K & arrived in the U.S on a K1 visa. I'm a man & I think your husband is being deceitful & sly. If I contacted another female behind my wifes back I would expect to be accused of cheating. If he wanted to remain 'friends' with this woman he should have discussed it with you first...just my thoughts.

I think you've posted this in a wrong forum though, it will probably get moved to the correct one.

[Golden Gate 530]

Talking to another woman behind your back without your knowledge is what American Women call "Cheating". If a Woman out there thinks I'm wrong about that, say so.

Yes, I would have a hard time with that if my soon to be husband was doing such a thing.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Definitely cheating in my book.. I'm sorry Talk to him, and hopefully he realizes that he's hurting you

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

There should be only one woman in his life/heart to fulfill his emotional & physical needs.

To cheat he doesn't need to ever touch another woman. The act of conversing with her and receiving compromising photos from her IS CHEATING on you.

It doesn't matter what he has done with/for you, without your consent he can't just get a free pass for this type of activity.

When you say you when to your Sister-in-Law's was that his sister? Did you tell her what is going on? I'm sure she didn't agree with him.

[mystica 0]

There should be only one woman in his life/heart to fulfill his emotional & physical needs.

To cheat he doesn't need to ever touch another woman. The act of conversing with her and receiving compromising photos from her IS CHEATING on you.

It doesn't matter what he has done with/for you, without your consent he can't just get a free pass for this type of activity.

When you say you when to your Sister-in-Law's was that his sister? Did you tell her what is going on? I'm sure she didn't agree with him.

That sister-in-law is the wife of his brother. I told her everything what was happened and she didn't agree. She said that act is cheating. This really hurt me allot because I feel my husband cannot let go of that woman.

My husband has an old FB account before and he is on my friend's list on FB but he deactivated his old account. According to him he does not like fb becuase of its lack of security. When I found about his new fb account with his "alias" name, I asked why you need to deactivate your old account and make a new one with your alias? He said he is only curious. I am really trying to understand of him being curious but I just can't plus he act like nothings wrong.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Does his brother know about what's going on? What does he think of it?

What country are you from and is the other woman (with the big boobs) from the same country?

I don't buy it if a guy says, "I Love you (my wife) but am still curious about some other woman's boobs and her life (kids etc)".

Granted there are some couples where porn and even other people are allowed in the relationship but that's with the explicit consent of the spouse. If you're not accepting of that then he needs to decide if he loves you or this other woman's boobs more.

[Operator 1,927]

Talking to another woman behind your back without your knowledge is what American Women call "Cheating". If a Woman out there thinks I'm wrong about that, say so.

I'm an American man and I would call this cheating.

To the OP: Your husband is showing very bad behavior. If you decide in your heart to forgive him (again) do so knowing that it is possible for him to do it again. Bad behavior without repercussion is usually repeated. Think of some men like big kids, sometimes you need to slap our hands (figuratively) to let us know we have done wrong. I agree that adults in a loving relationship shouldn't have to do this but I think it's time to stand up for yourself.

Wish you the best of luck.

Edited July 19, 2011 by Operator

[hnubno 9]

it seems like he is the type of guy that will not stay with just one woman whether he's with you or with another he'll probably always have another woman on the side... and that is called a cheater. i also agree with others here that if you forgive him then you should be prepared that he may possibly do this in the future again. lol i can't believe he said that he didn't do anything wrong... that's a load of bull... he is most definitely wrong.

[Harsh_77 718]

Your husband is being a dumbazz.

Best answer...........lol