Personal issues re my Viet Nam girlfriend

[tcTTct 37]

Yes Dora, she's in another city now, but I'm trying to have that heart to heart with her but she does not open up easily, like a clam or an oyster! After she gets angry we go back to normal, and we get back to what she wants to talk about - the fiance visa!

Wow Mike. You're going to have a heart to heart with her even when she just gets angry when you try to get her to be honest, then all she wants to do is talk about you getting her the K1 visa. You are a very trusting man. I guess you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Good luck, that's all I can say.

Edited July 28, 2011 by tcTTct

[Mike_Mac 3]

Wow Mike. You're going to have a heart to heart with her even when she just gets angry when you try to get her to be honest, then all she wants to do is talk about you getting her the K1 visa. You are a very trusting man. I guess you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Good luck, that's all I can say.

Actually, thank to VJ, now I am less trusting, and will insist on good answers, or else, if we have that discussion.

[Hot Vit Lon 7]

I've been reading this topic just for the sake of killing time, and trying not to stick my nose in the OP's life here. But I just can't understand why you (Mike_Mac) will not get over this MILF.

And this is just my opinion here, so don't judge me for being straight-forward, but after skimming 5 pages, and have read most people commented you to dump her, and even you, yourself have doubts about her, then I say just dump the lady! She is obviously not interested in you. And then her daughter, that girl is probably protecting her mother by telling you more lies.

Whenever I read stories about this, it makes me mad because: (1) people like this lady is making it harder for us to petition our relatives to the US to live with us; and (2) people like this lady is just taking advantage of the whole system while gaining profits and spending all that dirty money lavishly.

I am sorry, but I get irritated from people like this. That's all, I'll leave this topic alone.

Actually the OP was extremely lucky or he just made up the story to entertain us. If the lady actually has bad intention, she would NEVER reveal her real face til she's got what she wants (the GC and half of what he owns). Either she just doesn't care because she knows if the OP refuses her, she would have so many other "suckers" lining up as her next "potential" victim(s) or she already got the next victim hooked up and she started losing interest in the OP.

OP, although I can kinda enjoy your story for a bit, I find these kinda stories as old as the Earth itself. You actually have to get online and ask for advice to figure out whether a lady's feeling/love/lust/whatever for you is genuine or not? Man, then you shouldn't venture out there in the sea seeking for a piece of love. So many ladies with much more sophisticated schemes and traps are waiting for you, OP.

[Mike_Mac 3]

Actually the OP was extremely lucky or he just made up the story to entertain us. If the lady actually has bad intention, she would NEVER reveal her real face til she's got what she wants (the GC and half of what he owns). Either she just doesn't care because she knows if the OP refuses her, she would have so many other "suckers" lining up as her next "potential" victim(s) or she already got the next victim hooked up and she started losing interest in the OP.

OP, although I can kinda enjoy your story for a bit, I find these kinda stories as old as the Earth itself. You actually have to get online and ask for advice to figure out whether a lady's feeling/love/lust/whatever for you is genuine or not? Man, then you shouldn't venture out there in the sea seeking for a piece of love. So many ladies with much more sophisticated schemes and traps are waiting for you, OP.

Lon, I assure you I did not make this up....and many times I have regretted "outing myself" with this outlandish story...but I have gotten some very valuable advice from folks who know the turf much better than I, and I have some degree of anonymity, and it's not like I have to face anyone here at the office in the morning.

But you just made a good point - why would she reveal things to me before she got what she wants? Some things she revealed, and some others she left "out in the open" for me to discover, and a third set I discovered on my own. So now I wonder if maybe she really wanted me to know, and if yes, why? If she was in fact a "gai bao" as someone earlier suggested, why would she tell me her BF paid her and "out" herself? She's always treated me well and never asked me for money. Maybe the author here can use this in his book.

[Laser1 63]

Mike_Mac, the next time she or you visits, maybe she needs a nice dinner at a restaurant, of course with some wine, . That should help her to fess up.

[David-Hien 11]

@Mike_Mac: I skim over 6 pages. In general, I don't know who you are saying about because I never face your guys in real life. However, I'm a lady, so I can tell you some points here:

1. Your GF never ask you money;

2. She had huge properties and assets in Vietnam already;

3. Her daughter immigrated to US by student visa;

4. Your GF wants your to get K1 visa for her.

Do you see the future she will go further here?

I don't know whether she loves you or not; however, she is planning to move her little family to US for a better life.

It does not mean she wants money, but she wants the US Passport for her and her daughter. She had money already. If you add more, that's good. If not, you can help her to get the US Passport, then she can kick you out any time.

When you get married to her. She can immigrate to US, then she will sponsor her daughter to change to Permanent Resident status (no more student visa).

After she finished these steps, if you and she live happily, that's good. If your guy's life is not good, she will say goodbye to you.

I guess your guys' age is around 40-50 or 60 yrs. A rich woman at that age in Vietnam does not want to leave all properties and assets in VN to go with a man to live in the US just for loving.

[Mike_Mac 3]

@Mike_Mac: I skim over 6 pages. In general, I don't know who you are saying about because I never face your guys in real life. However, I'm a lady, so I can tell you some points here:

1. Your GF never ask you money;

2. She had huge properties and assets in Vietnam already;

3. Her daughter immigrated to US by student visa;

4. Your GF wants your to get K1 visa for her.

Do you see the future she will go further here?

I don't know whether she loves you or not; however, she is planning to move her little family to US for a better life.

It does not mean she wants money, but she wants the US Passport for her and her daughter. She had money already. If you add more, that's good. If not, you can help her to get the US Passport, then she can kick you out any time.

When you get married to her. She can immigrate to US, then she will sponsor her daughter to change to Permanent Resident status (no more student visa).

After she finished these steps, if you and she live happily, that's good. If your guy's life is not good, she will say goodbye to you.

I guess your guys' age is around 40-50 or 60 yrs. A rich woman at that age in Vietnam does not want to leave all properties and assets in VN to go with a man to live in the US just for loving.

Thank you, you are more honest with me than my GF. You are also correct about our ages. Everything you said rings true. To me, before coming to this site, I thought of a marriage with this woman, who told me she loved me, as something to hold carefully in my hands. This would have been my second marriage and I did not want to fail, could not. But she takes it and spits on it. As to where she got her money, I now tend to believe that she was a "gai bao" as someone here said, or worse. Lot's of little things prove it. How else would a poor woman like her acquire the nice house and money that she has? She actually has the habits of a prostitute. The other day, she told me if I did not marry her, she would marry someone else. That's is not love, it's a business proposition, a negotiating tactic. I have always treated her and her family very well, but now I remember her family looking at me with strange eyes, and now I know why. Now I understand she would always lie to me, and always hide her life and her assets, but share in mine. It would never have been a true marriage. I would be an accessory to her main purpose, and she would leave me at any time. Loving someone means you tell the truth, but a gai bao never tells the truth, and no doubt she will never tell me the truth. Her evil past has spilled over into my life now. For all I know she is worth more than I am! She cannot love me, or she would tell me the truth.

Thank you!

@Mike_Mac: I skim over 6 pages. In general, I don't know who you are saying about because I never face your guys in real life. However, I'm a lady, so I can tell you some points here:

1. Your GF never ask you money;

2. She had huge properties and assets in Vietnam already;

3. Her daughter immigrated to US by student visa;

4. Your GF wants your to get K1 visa for her.

Do you see the future she will go further here?

I don't know whether she loves you or not; however, she is planning to move her little family to US for a better life.

It does not mean she wants money, but she wants the US Passport for her and her daughter. She had money already. If you add more, that's good. If not, you can help her to get the US Passport, then she can kick you out any time.

When you get married to her. She can immigrate to US, then she will sponsor her daughter to change to Permanent Resident status (no more student visa).

After she finished these steps, if you and she live happily, that's good. If your guy's life is not good, she will say goodbye to you.

I guess your guys' age is around 40-50 or 60 yrs. A rich woman at that age in Vietnam does not want to leave all properties and assets in VN to go with a man to live in the US just for loving.

Let me ask you, are you still married?

[David-Hien 11]

Thank you, you are more honest with me than my GF. You are also correct about our ages. Everything you said rings true. To me, before coming to this site, I thought of a marriage with this woman, who told me she loved me, as something to hold carefully in my hands. This would have been my second marriage and I did not want to fail, could not. But she takes it and spits on it. As to where she got her money, I now tend to believe that she was a "gai bao" as someone here said, or worse. Lot's of little things prove it. How else would a poor woman like her acquire the nice house and money that she has? She actually has the habits of a prostitute. The other day, she told me if I did not marry her, she would marry someone else. That's is not love, it's a business proposition, a negotiating tactic. I have always treated her and her family very well, but now I remember her family looking at me with strange eyes, and now I know why. Now I understand she would always lie to me, and always hide her life and her assets, but share in mine. It would never have been a true marriage. I would be an accessory to her main purpose, and she would leave me at any time. Loving someone means you tell the truth, but a gai bao never tells the truth, and no doubt she will never tell me the truth. Her evil past has spilled over into my life now. For all I know she is worth more than I am! She cannot love me, or she would tell me the truth.

Thank you!

Let me ask you, are you still married?

Yes, I'm still married. We had a little girl. She is 2.5 years now. I'm happy with my family and never want to leave my husband. I love my little daughter; I don't want her to live without her daddy.

When I was in VN, I'm not rich, but not poor. I had a good job there and an apartment. I was lucky because I had studied a lot in my young age. That's why when I immigrated to the US, I could return to the College and have a daughter at the same time. Now, I'm graduating and looking for a job. Sincerely say, coming back to the workforce by a career working in office is not easy; however, I try my best.

If you want to have a second marriage with an Asian woman, you should look for an high educated woman. She may not treat you like a "paid girl." Other option is to look for someone in the US. It is safe and you don't have to think whether she wants you or wants the US Passport.

[Mike_Mac 3]

Yes, I'm still married. We had a little girl. She is 2.5 years now. I'm happy with my family and never want to leave my husband. I love my little daughter; I don't want her to live without her daddy.

When I was in VN, I'm not rich, but not poor. I had a good job there and an apartment. I was lucky because I had studied a lot in my young age. That's why when I immigrated to the US, I could return to the College and have a daughter at the same time. Now, I'm graduating and looking for a job. Sincerely say, coming back to the workforce by a career working in office is not easy; however, I try my best.

If you want to have a second marriage with an Asian woman, you should look for an high educated woman. She may not treat you like a "paid girl." Other option is to look for someone in the US. It is safe and you don't have to think whether she wants you or wants the US Passport.

Good luck!

[quann 26]

If you want to have a second marriage with an Asian woman, you should look for an high educated woman.

this is excellent advise! just like anywhere else the thought process and thinking of an educated woman is very different than some girl working at the various hotspots in saigon...even moreso with vietnam's corrupt culture. it can mean the difference of having your ####### intact or unknowingly detached from your body.

it can get very bon chen and giang ho with the vn girls...just look at any typical nail shop over here.

Edited August 4, 2011 by quann

[Mike_Mac 3]

this is excellent advise! just like anywhere else the thought process and thinking of an educated woman is very different than some girl working at the various hotspots in saigon...even moreso with vietnam's corrupt culture. it can mean the difference of having your ####### intact or unknowingly detached from your body.

it can get very bon chen and giang ho with the vn girls...just look at any typical nail shop over here.

Quann, I like all my parts right where they are.....haha.

But what is "bon chen" and "giang ho"? And what do you mean by the nail shops?

Her relatives actually operate two nail shops, I've been in one and it just looks like a "nail shop" to me.

[Hot Vit Lon 7]

Quann, I like all my parts right where they are.....haha.

But what is "bon chen" and "giang ho"? And what do you mean by the nail shops?

Her relatives actually operate two nail shops, I've been in one and it just looks like a "nail shop" to me.

Bon Chen= If someone sits right next to her with a 36C, she immediately wants a 38C to beat the other customer! Or if she's driving a Corolla and her close friend just bought a new Lexus, she wants a BMW or similar to show off with her friend.

Giang ho = she's in bed with you and the next morning when you wake up, you see a sign "$20k please honey" in her left hand and a nice shinning 9mm in her right hand. She says nothing but starring non-stop at you. You know what you're supposed to do next right? (get on Visajourney and ask for opinions is NOT the right answer)

[Indietro09 2]

If you want to have a second marriage with an Asian woman, you should look for an high educated woman. She may not treat you like a "paid girl." Other option is to look for someone in the US. It is safe and you don't have to think whether she wants you or wants the US Passport.

What do you mean by " High Educated"???? It's because you or them got high educated doesn't mean that all the " High Educated" girls are good...We love our loved ones ofcourse but "High Educated" or not is not the main reason and It's all depends on the person's character. I'm sorry but just can't stand those who always talk about " High Educated" . Like there's one guy in this forum always talks about his wife " High Educated" in every post he made... blah blah blah and so on.

[Hot Vit Lon 7]

Yes, I'm still married. We had a little girl. She is 2.5 years now. I'm happy with my family and never want to leave my husband. I love my little daughter; I don't want her to live without her daddy.

When I was in VN, I'm not rich, but not poor. I had a good job there and an apartment. I was lucky because I had studied a lot in my young age. That's why when I immigrated to the US, I could return to the College and have a daughter at the same time. Now, I'm graduating and looking for a job. Sincerely say, coming back to the workforce by a career working in office is not easy; however, I try my best.

If you want to have a second marriage with an Asian woman, you should look for an high educated woman. She may not treat you like a "paid girl." Other option is to look for someone in the US. It is safe and you don't have to think whether she wants you or wants the US Passport.

Obviously you haven't been approached by those college students currently here in the States on student Visas. The higher she's educated, the more sophisticated her schemes will become.

When a really old man comes and seeks a really young girl (of course of legal marriage age), there's NOTHING that will change the outcome in the end.

OP, you're not the first one and won't be the last. So many and many and many before you already fell into this marriage trapping game. Wait til' you meet someone who knows how to play "Bua`" or "Ngai~". Search on Google if you don't know what those are.

[David-Hien 11]

@Indietro09:

"What do you mean by " High Educated"???? It's because you or them got high educated doesn't mean that all the " High Educated" girls are good...We love our loved ones ofcourse but "High Educated" or not is not the main reason and It's all depends on the person's character. I'm sorry but just can't stand those who always talk about " High Educated" . Like there's one guy in this forum always talks about his wife " High Educated" in every post he made... blah blah blah and so on."

Oh! Well!! This is just an idea that a woman has higher education and always wants to learn, she can be better in her characteristic. However, it's not completely right. I will show you the advantages and disadvantages of a "mot sach" woman. ("mot sach": who is always studying and know nothing in this world)

1. Advantages:

- A woman who always sits in school to study will not know how to swear, and to "cut off" your body parts (this is just talking for fun, ok?).

- She will continue to go to school again in the USA, so you don't need to worry that she will have some chitchat with relatives in hours on phone to VN or go shopping -> saving phone cost and expenses.

- She will help your financial status when she goes to work.

- She will get the job immediately if she is an IT engineer -> you are lucky.

(I has one friend who can get a job immediately after she immigrated to the US. Her salary is around 7k/month for an IT engineer. She got Master degree in VN)

- She wants a family because she spent her life time to study already, no time to look for many boyfriends in her young age.

2. Disadvantages

- She may not want to come to the US because she has good job in VN.

- She doesn't know how to cook.( I guess that your guys like good food)

- She cannot work in a nail shop -> no income in the first period.

- You has to pay for her education in the US.

- She doesn't know how to set up a business like someones who are doing business by traveling between the US and VN.

- She may no be beautiful.

- She does not know how to make up.

It does not mean that a higher education Asian woman will make you happy, but at least you will feel easily to communicate and understand her in your life.

If you don't like an educated woman, just move on and get any girl you like. Love is blind

----

I'm sorry, what you said make me recall of my ex-husband. He didn't like high educated woman. He liked good food, young and beautiful girls, and beers.

Finally, you are talking to a woman, not a man. I just want to let your men know what a woman would think about and do in her future. If you don't want to read it, please ignore. Thank you.