5 Days Post-POE - GREAT!

[Captain Hammer 113]

She even wears her "inside casual" clothes on trip trips to the ice cream joint in the car. I tease her that she is now an "American Girl."

Whoa. The inside casual clothes...outside? I'm pretty sure I'll never see the day.

The biggest concession to being an "American girl" my wife's made is that sometimes--but only if it's hot--she'll have a couple ice cubes in a drink. But chewing on ice is strictly forbidden in this house, which is too bad because it's a habit I've had since I was a wee lad, and I don't think I'll ever get over it.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

The amazement regarding garage sales and resale shops, at least among Latin & South Americans, is because people in those countries use or wear things until they wear out, and even beyond that. During our courtship period, Mrs. T-B.-to-be, who had been to the U.S. before, commented numerous times about "gringo 'stuff'" -- Americans had so much "stuff" that she had a hard time seeing the need for. I privately gulped, and indeed before her arrival I purged quite a bit of "gringo stuff" that honestly was being underused or going unused. (The tax write-offs for charitable donations were nice, si man -- and in fact 95% of my stuff resold within 2 weeks, because I monitored it out of curiosity.)

When Mrs. T-B. got here, she was impressed with the quality of almost-new or gently used stuff available resale, whether in shops, at garage sales, or on-line. She quickly developed quite an eye for the best of everything among these items, and what she has brought back to Ecuador for her friends and family is indistinguishable from "new" and is appreciated.

We bought her dad a charcoal-gray suit at Goodwill for $19.99; it was a Cricketeer, which I'd place probably toward the higher end of the second tier of quality. When we presented it, her dad was delighted, and the family oo'd and ah'd at the quality. He just made a trip to a wedding: he wore the suit and a resale shirt and tie that we got for him. He looked like a million bucks for an actual expense of $29.

Probably the big thing for newly arrived immigrants to grasp is that (for example) good resale clothing can be found because people gain or lose weight, get a different job that requires a different wardrobe, retire, die, downsize, purge their closets, move, desire a tax write-off, abandon items at the dry-cleaners, and probably more. Good used furniture is available for many of the same reasons. Probably half of our furniture and a third of Mini-Bone's baby stuff comes from resale stores or Craigslist.

A contributing factor to the availability of so much "stuff" is its abundance in the U.S. -- on an absolute scale, and certainly in comparison with poorer countries. It also helps to accept the concept that resale-shopping is like a "treasure hunt" -- I don't mind pawing through racks and racks of God-awful polyester ties with stains on them from the 1970s if I find some mint-condition Bill Blass, Pierre Cardin, or Italian designer ties for $3 or less apiece. (This wouldn't suit someone who prefers to dash in a store for a particular item and dash out.)

Clothing can be thrown into the washing machine to remove "resale-shop" odor, then sent for dry-cleaning to be pressed. Decent furniture requires cleaning & polishing and perhaps touch-up repairs. After this, who could guess where it was bought? Finding bargains like this frees money for other things.

We're getting good international participation here (yet another reason to appreciate the RUB subforum). Please run the above specific reasoning past your foreign spouse and post their initial and considered reactions. Of course, foreign beneficiaries are welcome to comment directly, too, si man.

Edited July 22, 2011 by TBoneTX

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

We're getting good international participation here (yet another reason to appreciate the RUB subforum). Please run the above specific reasoning past your foreign spouse and post their initial and considered reactions. Of course, foreign beneficiaries are welcome to comment directly, too, si man.

we have discussed this many times.

Ukrainians do not have all the "stuff" we do. Not that it isn't available, but why would a Ukrainian own skis? A weedeater? Garden tractor? Table saw...are you kidding me? Peop;e in cities have no need for this stuff, it is expensive and they do not have the money for it. So they are not going to seel it cheap if they ever did buy it and they do not buy things on a "whim" because they have a credit card or extra cash.

Alla was shocked, even baffled, at why people have a $25000 car standing in the driveway and $300 (garage sale price) worth of junk filling the garage.

There was a general distaste for resale shops at first but when I tool her to the local Goodwill and she saw the stuff they have and the prices...OMG! Now her shopping pattern is Goodwill, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Macy's for sales, BonTon for sales, Eddie Bauer for sales. Her spending level before she feels offended is a little higher than yours, Tbone, but much lower than it was in Ukraine. She would pay $100 for a sweater in Ukraine and think she got a deal, now she doesn't want to spend more than $19.99 She would prefer to get 4 sweaters for 19.99 at the second hand shop. She hits a few garage sales every Saturday but does not always buy things. She does not collect "knick knacks" just more stuff to dust, but she looks for good kitchen utensils, furniture, etc. She got hooked, really when we bought a whole new bedroom set, 5 pieces with the mirror, of very high quality bedroom furniture at a garage sale, in near perfect condition for $300! "OMG this would be $10000 in Ukraine! I could never have furniture like this in Ukraine" It would be $5000 new in the USA She does not want upholstered used furniture or bedding, but good wood furniture...oh you bet! Oak roll top desk for me...$60 Mohagany desk for her...$25 "loft bed" with built in computer station underneath for Pasha, $25. Black lacquered dresser for Pasha, $20

She also likes the closeouts at Lowes. 4 ceiling fans for $24. Huge front loading HE washer for $200, brand new but scrathed and dented "It is in the basement, who cares?" We sold the old Kenmore for $100 the next day! Bathroom ceramic tile for the floors and walls...7 cents per square foot! It took her a year to collect all the stuff for the upstairs bathroom remodel, tile floors and walls, new vanity, all new hardware on the walls, new faucets...all for under $300 all at Lowes on closeout. This is why they know me at Lowes as "Alla's husband" She prowls the place and buys stuff she finds on closeout and has them hold it for "pick up later" Guess who picks it up? Next is to build her a "work room" in the basement (nicely finished utility room) and she has already discovered that Lowes has damaged sheetrock for $1 per sheet, I now have eight sheets of damaged sheetrock in the basement and I am sure she will find more, when we have enough I will do the job. The damage will either be cut out or will be repaired when the walls are "mudded", No doubt she will find some nice cabinets for cheap also and she will have a really nice utility room for under $500...and that includes the washing machine

[eekee 182]

I find thrift store shopping difficult... it's hard for me to see the clothes as they are with the way they're presented, if that makes sense. Plus it's hard for me to find things my size and that are trendy enough. I used to buy big tshirts to cut up and to make into little ones when I was in high school, but other than that, thrift store shopping just doesn't work for me. I'd much rather have some nice designer pieces, maybe bought on sale or on ebay, than a bunch of junk cluttering up my closet. Even stores like TJMaxx or outlet stores are hard for me because their selection in XS is so tiny. If I were a size L I'd have much better luck.

I would gladly spend all of my money on clothes and makeup if I actually had any money!

Edited July 22, 2011 by eekee

[ONA 133]

(This wouldn't suit someone who prefers to dash in a store for a particular item and dash out.)

That's me most of the time.

Might also be like "dash in a store for a particular item, never find something she likes and dash out".

I would only go to Goodwill for used books, CDs and stuff like that. I would go for that to a second hand store in Russia too, plus here they don't really know what kind of treasure they're selling for "almost FREE", cause the books are not in Russian.

There was one time I got a Burberry purse in a Goodwill store for $5 though.

I can go to TJ Maxx or Marshalls, but again - I can't look for something for a long time, although, I was able to find some good deals over there. I would go to any store that says "SALE" on it

In general, I'm not the type that is looking for a bargain, but if there is a chance to buy something I like with a great discount, I take it!

But I'm also somebody, who some of the guys here refer to as "spoiled 20-something, raised after the collapse of the Soviet Union", so a lot of people probably have different experience with their spouses

[Neonred 3,564]

But chewing on ice is strictly forbidden in this house, which is too bad because it's a habit I've had since I was a wee lad, and I don't think I'll ever get over it.

I see crowns on several of your teeth in the future!

Edited July 22, 2011 by Neonred

[Captain Hammer 113]

I see crowns on several of your teeth in the future!

Heh! I've already got one crown from an old Lacrosse injury, but yeah, it's definitely not good for me. Still, better than smoking I suppose.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

Heh! I've already got one crown from an old Lacrosse injury, but yeah, it's definitely not good for me. Still, better than smoking I suppose.

In the mid-'80s, a buddy of mine -- a dentist -- said that he treated more teeth broken by popcorn and ice than anything else.

[Captain Hammer 113]

In the mid-'80s, a buddy of mine -- a dentist -- said that he treated more teeth broken by popcorn and ice than anything else.

Si molar.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

I find thrift store shopping difficult... it's hard for me to see the clothes as they are with the way they're presented, if that makes sense.

Do you mean trying to imagine them in mint condition, looking new and freshly pressed? If so, I have an American colleague (a woman) who feels the same. Over time, I've developed a sense for which fabrics will look nicest after cleaning and pressing... and which articles of clothing will look like ####### after two minutes of being worn. It does take some imagination. Albeit less and less often, I'm still fooled sometimes.

Incidentally, I learned from a resale-shop volunteer employee (who retired from a career in a men's store) that suits with four buttons on the coat cuff are supposed to be superior to those that have three buttons on the cuff, si man. I also like finding ties (chiefly Italian) that have the double loops on the back where the skinny end can be tucked in.

Si molar.

Tee(th), man. Edited July 24, 2011 by TBoneTX

[eekee 182]

No, I know a fair amount about clothes and quality. I mean I don't like having to dig; I like it when clothes are nicely displayed.

[Neonred 3,564]

In the mid-'80s, a buddy of mine -- a dentist -- said that he treated more teeth broken by popcorn and ice than anything else.

Certainly true, but you would not believe how many (old) people I see in my office that swear they were just eating mashed potatoes when their tooth broke!

[TBoneTX 45,309]

No, I know a fair amount about clothes and quality. I mean I don't like having to dig; I like it when clothes are nicely displayed.

That was my other possible guess. Please elaborate: ideally organized by size? By color? On racks? In neat stacks? I don't like random piles of clothing on tables (fortunately, very few resale stores seem to do this). I do object to ties having been thrown in cardboard boxes -- not only because the ties are usually tangled, but because perfectly nice ones can get wrinkled or creased. By the way, I've been told NOT to iron silk ties; the better way is to steam the crease out. This can be done by hanging the tie in the bathroom during someone's hot shower.

Relevant sidebar, si man (pardon the all-caps):

A MAN STOOD AT THE DEPARTMENT-STORE COUNTER, SELECTING NECKTIES. HE PASSED OVER MANY, CHOSE A FEW, AND OCCASIONALLY ENCOUNTERED A TERRIBLE SPECIMEN THAT HE WOULD FLING ASIDE CONTEMPTUOUSLY. THESE, THE CLERK WOULD PICK UP AND PLACE IN A SEPARATE TRAY. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BURN THEM?" ASKED THE MAN SCORNFULLY. "NO, SIR," EXPLAINED THE CLERK. "WE SAVE THESE FOR THE WOMEN WHO COME IN TO BUY TIES FOR MEN."

Certainly true, but you would not believe how many (old) people I see in my office that swear they were just eating mashed potatoes when their tooth broke!

Are we sure that they're telling the tooth about that, huh man?

[eekee 182]

I like going to boutiques/fancy department stores where everything is nice and it smells good and the sales people suck up to you. It's hard for me to find the diamond in the rough. I'd rather not be in the rough in the first place. I'd rather hit up sales than anything else, but unfortunately my size rarely makes it to the end of the season.

[Ellie-n-Vladimir 3]

I don't like having to dig; I like it when clothes are nicely displayed.

Me too. Hate digging for something 'nice'..

Also, I feel withdrawal from garage sales. Soon after we arrived to the US, we were dragged through garage sales by a woman who was not a recent immigrant, but who was here in many generations, a professor in UC Berkeley, teaching us English. The cheap finds was her obsession. She spent most of her free time at Goodwill and other thrift stores, and certainly weekends were devoted to endless driving through garage sales. Her house was filled with $1 stuff wall to wall and floor to ceiling. By engaging us in her 'search', she tried to set an example how to live here. It was hard for me in general to adapt to this way of living. Although I understand that woman likely had hoarding problem, garage sales left a bothersome imprint on me. I simply distaste them