Has this story ever turned out well for American man and Russian woman?

[NY_BX 397]

Meh, sounds like too much drama. Trust your gut instincts. And also, quit hounding her for sex. That's usually a major turn off. Let affection and intimacy develop naturally.

Best post I've read so far.

[sea-monkey 13]

The sooner she has the marriage license is the sooner she can file the VAWA

I would start pricing the one way ticket back to the Ukraine.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Dude, you used the term "I feel like just sending my girl back". Like she is a defective purchase. Do you understand that the purpose of the K-1 visa is to reunite a couple in an established relationship who are prepared to marry? It's not a "try it and see" visa, or an "import a sexual partner" visa.

You've been chilling here in America waiting for her while she has uprooted her life, and her child's life, to move to a totally foreign environment, to BE WITH YOU, and you seem to have no concern for how she's adjusting. You're worried about waxing your bat. Ew, man.

Question your motives, not hers.

[Nonchalante 3]

Just out of curiosity, haven't you two had a conversation about when to get married at all before she came to the US?

[Neonred 3,569]

Oh man, you are in trouble. And do you think marrying her will make it better?

[JudyKCski 12]

I would agree... send her packing! If you can get someone from the US then have at it. I can not help but wonder if she did all this for her daughters benefit instead of her own. Of course there are 2 sides to every story. I don't know but it seems to me if she had a problem about the cleanliness she would have asked you if you minded if she cleaned it to her specifications then I would let her go for it!

I agree about the Bi-Polar part. I sure would not put up with the mind games period!

Yes, I am a woman =)

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

My husband and I were all over each other the first week. We were so happy to finally be together. I think she is not physically attracted to you. I treated an old boyfriend the same way as she is treating you. i wanted to like him in that way but i couldn't. I would never sleep in the same room as him or give him anything to sexually, but I tried to do the bare minimum so we could stay in this great house we were renting. i know it sounds horrible but it's the truth and im telling you this because what you described of her is exactly what I was doing!!! When my fiance got here he wanted to marry as soon as possible but after we talked about it calmly like normal people we decided to get married late in the second month of him living here to make sure we could live together. I see this turning out as here leaving you when she can and never telling you the truth that she just isnt that into you. She will blame it on swomething else or something you did. It is clear to Nattoy(my husband) to that she is taking you for a ride. Imagine what she will do when she's settled. At this point if there's a problem it wouldn't show this early or this rudly in the beginning.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Dear OP,

It sounds particularly suspicious that she would bring up the subject of getting married shortly after she decided to give in and have sex with you. At least as you relate the story it sounds as though she gave you what you were hunting her down for and she was trying to sweet talk you into marrying her, ASAP!

Also suspicious is what you said she told you, that she found out that she had NO RIGHTS until after she married you. What rights is she talking about? The right to claim abuse on your part yet get to stay in the US? I know there are two sides to every story, but at least as you are sharing it with us, it really does not sound good. What is the deal with her going to sleep with her daughter most nights? Is she using her daughter as a shield or barrier from you and your intimacy? It really sounds odd. Not the behavior of a loving fiancee who has not been with her man for months...

Save yourself more heartache and dollars and break it off with her sooner rather than later. Begin to look into your options in the US.

[Darnell 8,478]

Edit - uhm - pay attention to post #26 - That's all the advice I'm gonna give.

Edited July 16, 2011 by Darnell

[jkminney 30]

I think I would be completely done with this entire situation. The man has tried taking her and her daughter to do things. She refuses to go. I find it incredibly disrespectful that they would sit in a car for an hour and half and she would only speak to her daughter in Russian. I'm a woman and when my now husband and I saw each other it was fireworks each and everytime and continues to be. How can you folks think that he should take sex or intimacy out of the equation? As someone pointed out she's not a virgin and these 2 are planning on being married sex IS a part of married life. Even if you take actual sex out of the picture the woman refuses to sleep in the same bed with him. There is a problem with that. I agree with the person who stated that a woman has to be in sync on emotional level for sex and fine she's adjusting but at the end of the day if this gal was 100% into the fella she would be more than happy to sleep in the same bed with him as they haven't been able to for months even if it's only to cuddle. My opinion if it's like this after 8 days when you should both still be thrilled to death to even be together time is NOT on your side. Cut your losses before anymore damage is done.

[Justin and Kate 2]

Holly molly!!! You made a "BOOM" by your story here!!! I'm sorry but you are so wrong! The problem is as it was mentioned before...K1 is not a TRY! K1 is "ticket" for those who can't live and breathe without each other...you must understand that. She is grown up women and she totally understood that she is going to leave her country , family and friends...so don't make exuses for this. I'm 25 (I'm Russian beneficiary)...I have amazing life in Russia, supper carrier, I make good money and have great family..and so and so BUT I CAN"T imagine MY life without my Justin anymore! Please, don't wait any changes...im sorry I think it won't work out even if marry her. I put on that she was looking for better life for her and her kid by leaving to USA and having her "American dream" to come true...I bet that ALL VJ members know what is the TRUE LOVE is by waiting months for their beloved...omg there's so wrong situation in your case.

Just feel sorry for all 3 of you...

Wish you luck...AND you are NOT ready to have international relationship it's a lot of "work"...better for you to have american girl I think

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

I think I would be completely done with this entire situation. The man has tried taking her and her daughter to do things. She refuses to go. I find it incredibly disrespectful that they would sit in a car for an hour and half and she would only speak to her daughter in Russian. I'm a woman and when my now husband and I saw each other it was fireworks each and everytime and continues to be. How can you folks think that he should take sex or intimacy out of the equation? As someone pointed out she's not a virgin and these 2 are planning on being married sex IS a part of married life. Even if you take actual sex out of the picture the woman refuses to sleep in the same bed with him. There is a problem with that. I agree with the person who stated that a woman has to be in sync on emotional level for sex and fine she's adjusting but at the end of the day if this gal was 100% into the fella she would be more than happy to sleep in the same bed with him as they haven't been able to for months even if it's only to cuddle. My opinion if it's like this after 8 days when you should both still be thrilled to death to even be together time is NOT on your side. Cut your losses before anymore damage is done.

Agreed! well said... There are aspects of two people coming together and creating a life that are going to be a challenge, but after months apart and finally being together "forever" you should be in a state of a stupefied happiness that is annoying to all those around you You both sound miserable and not overly tolerant of the others problems or concerned about their happiness.. That is one of the attributes of being in love.. You tend to dwell on your partners happiness more than your own. I don't see that in what you wrote. Why prolong the agony for either of you?

Edited July 16, 2011 by OnMyWayID

[newhallone 2]

I don't think it looks good. Put off the marriage till 3rd month and see how things go. But honestly I think you might come to a decision before then and send her home. Good luck, I hope things work out best for all three of you.

[wizardfitz 13]

cut your losses and send her home!

[K1-Seeker 3]

Do not listen to the "psychoanalytical" assessments, Get the $$$ out. Do not waste time and energy on an emotional wreck machine, this is not your mission in life..