What did I do wrong?

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Darren:

Just an fyi...A legal immigrant doesn't have to get on a plane back to their home country unless "the law" tells he or she to go. Don't get too comfortable bcoz that throne you're sitting in...well...it's not yours.

Michael

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Rebecca Jo just STOP TROLLING AND GROW UP!!!!!!

Actually I am not joking about that part. It may seem overly dramatic. But if she changes after getting her 10 year green card, then she was just after getting to the states and not in love with me. I do not want to be guilty of visa fraud. And her divorcing me 30 days right after her 10 year green card would send up MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR flags with USCIS. From now on, when a girl tells me, she does not love me, she is gone. No questions asked. I ain't going to play those games any more. And if she is from another country, guess what, she is going right back to the country she came from. I ain't gonna do some other schmuck a favor by leaving her here. When I love, I love copmletely. I expect no less from my spouse. You may feel like it, but never never ever say you want to leave. Because I ain't gonna fight anymore. I will take you back leave you, divorce you, and find some other girl. If you don't believe Love Is ForEver, then don't bother with me. This poor OP is trying, I wish him the best. He is going through cultural issues. the worst part is the way she is abusing him right after getting her 10 year green card. He must really really love her. If I was him, she would already be packing to go back to Philippines. I would be deporting her myself, save the taxpayer the money.

I went through a really really really bad first marriage to an american woman. the marriage was verbally abusive, and horrible. If I was the OP, I would be taking her back to the village already. I spent 8 years sleeping alone in a 10 year marriage. There is no way I WILL spend just ONE day in another marriage going what the OP is going through. Taking her back to her village, and leaving her there is supreme ostracize for her. She will be disowned by the family for treating her husband the way she has. Filipino culture does not tolerate her behavior in any shape or form whatsoever. trust me, just going to the village, and going back to the hotel without her, will MAJORLY affect her. Sleeping one night in her parents house will do more to change her then anything he could do. If she is from a village like my fiancee is from, she would not EVEN be doing what she is doing.

First of all Darren, this is a public forum. I can read anywhere I like. And post there too as long as do not violate the TOS.

Secondly, these women aren't cars you take to the junk yard when the ashtray fills up. Take a woman back to her village and drop her off? And take her green card to the US Embassy? Besides the fact that this is one of the most misogynistic rants I've had the pleasure of reading on VJ, it's also a foolish idea. I would like to be little mouse at the door of the Embassy when you try to get in to "give them back" a greencard. They'll be laughing at you while they show you the way off the property!

I'd suggest you go back and re-read the OP's posts. He indicates this behavior has been going on for some time. If so, it doesn't appear to be motivated by the recent issuance of a USCIS document.

I'm sorry you had a sh*tty first marriage. A lot of here have. And we marry our spouses for better for worse, just like you carry on about. Except your version of it has a caveat. Buyer beware to your fiance. Her ticket to the US comes with conditions.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Yeah, that sweet little brown eyed girl is nothing something you can just dispose of later once she arrives in the US, and especially not once you married her. That marriage contract gives her certain rights.

And Steven, contract is the right word!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

First of all Darren, this is a public forum. I can read anywhere I like. And post there too as long as do not violate the TOS.

Secondly, these women aren't cars you take to the junk yard when the ashtray fills up. Take a woman back to her village and drop her off? And take her green card to the US Embassy? Besides the fact that this is one of the most misogynistic rants I've had the pleasure of reading on VJ, it's also a foolish idea. I would like to be little mouse at the door of the Embassy when you try to get in to "give them back" a greencard. They'll be laughing at you while they show you the way off the property!

I'd suggest you go back and re-read the OP's posts. He indicates this behavior has been going on for some time. If so, it doesn't appear to be motivated by the recent issuance of a USCIS document.

I'm sorry you had a sh*tty first marriage. A lot of here have. And we marry our spouses for better for worse, just like you carry on about. Except your version of it has a caveat. Buyer beware to your fiance. Her ticket to the US comes with conditions.

Ditto, see my post, but you may be trolling, or you may not be trolling, I am just saying...

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Ditto, see my post, but you may be trolling, or you may not be trolling, I am just saying...

I'm bored. I'm reading. I read VJ when I'm bored. Nothing more. Nothing less.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I'm bored. I'm reading. I read VJ when I'm bored. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I whack weeds when I am bored. Did that already, took a shower, now I am catching up on my reading and facebook games.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I don't think Dave took your comment out of context. It was your comment that's out of thread context. (and) I think it is typical of you to drop a negative innuendo regarding online dating at every (available or not) opportunity so, I'm not surpised. (but) I am curious why you do it. Baiting? Unresolved issue? or What?

The international dating market will always cast its shadow on many of these discussions and it becomes visible the moment an American spouse makes any over generalizations about Filipinas, which happened right here in this thread before I even said a word about dating sites. So like it or not, it's there - the myths and stereotypes continuously perpetuated by the very men who bought into it.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

The international dating market will always cast its shadow on many of these discussions and it becomes visible the moment an American spouse makes any over generalizations about Filipinas, which happened right here in this thread before I even said a word about dating sites. So like it or not, it's there - the myths and stereotypes continuously perpetuated by the very men who bought into it.

Some rational folks might call that empirical evidence. We are not as unique as we claim to be it seems. Are you not generalizing in just about every single one of your posts, myth, legend, or the hippie poppycock they may be? Is that stereotyping?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Bill, you sound tampo. You mad, bro?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Bill, you sound tampo. You mad, bro?

(This is the sound of tampo)

[SuperDuper! 230]

First of all Darren, this is a public forum. I can read anywhere I like. And post there too as long as do not violate the TOS.

Secondly, these women aren't cars you take to the junk yard when the ashtray fills up. Take a woman back to her village and drop her off? And take her green card to the US Embassy? Besides the fact that this is one of the most misogynistic rants I've had the pleasure of reading on VJ, it's also a foolish idea. I would like to be little mouse at the door of the Embassy when you try to get in to "give them back" a greencard. They'll be laughing at you while they show you the way off the property!

I'd suggest you go back and re-read the OP's posts. He indicates this behavior has been going on for some time. If so, it doesn't appear to be motivated by the recent issuance of a USCIS document.

I'm sorry you had a sh*tty first marriage. A lot of here have. And we marry our spouses for better for worse, just like you carry on about. Except your version of it has a caveat. Buyer beware to your fiance. Her ticket to the US comes with conditions.

[B_J 2,752]

this is one of the most misogynistic rants I've had the pleasure of reading on VJ

Oh come on. That's not even close to the most misogynistic rants that have been on VJ.

Sad but true.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Oh come on. That's not even close to the most misogynistic rants that have been on VJ.

Sad but true.

Then what would you call a post where a guy talks about dumping his wife back where she came from and personally returning her green card to the Embassy?

Charity?

[B_J 2,752]

Then what would you call a post where a guy talks about dumping his wife back where she came from and personally returning her green card to the Embassy?

Charity?

I'm just saying there have been far worse things said about women on this website than that.

Also, Darren was speaking about how he would react about a woman who had lied to him and used him. Which is far different from misogyny.

Of course, all of this is different from the situation that the OP was talking about.

[marizzacdo 4]

well, there is always two sides of the story, but based on what you said, i dont think you made a mistake.

First, your wife should have told her friends that you decided to stay home so you can take care of her while she is still recovering the surgery. And im sure those friends will understand. Its just a simple RESPECT issue. Coz if she only explain it to her friends that you are working at home and you constantly answers phone from work, then i dont think those friends would make so much noise.

Granting she told her friends about the situation, well, those friends are not considerate. And if i was your wife, i will tell my friends that we need to slow down coz my husband is working at home. And if she doesnt understand that simple thing, there is something wrong with her. She's being a spoiled brat. Well, if there is a party, sure, lets get loud, but its not. There should be respect between each other. Respect begets respect.

Throwing things, breaking things? wow, that is UNACCEPTABLE period.

I do understand her though that she is still recovering and she needs sympathya and she needs companion like friends to cheer her up, but she should also consider you. Im sure she did a stupid mistake. But she has pride, im sure she is very shy towards her friends. She probably told her friends how great a husband you are and with that one thing you did , she feels like you ruin everything that she told to her friends about you. Maybe she feels shy now to her friends. ANd you never know, now, she start telling her friends like " i thought my husband is nice, im sorry guys you feel insulted in our house, blah blah blah" and those friends will start saying yeah, he is, blah blah blah until she will get brain wash. Dont you ever let anybody ruin your relationship. ACT now before its too. I would understand if you will break up (hope not) if both of you, or one of you doesnt feel the love anymore, coz there is no sense of continuing a relationship if one one person is working to make it last. Because if the other person has a mind set that she or he want to leave, he or she will leave no matter what. I hope she will realized what she did, and she will realized how nice you are. She is so lucky to have someone like you. There's plenty of filipinas around here in US that are married to someone who doesnt care about our culture, doesnt care about our feelings, #######, etc she should be thankful she got you. SEEK for a COUNSELLOR.