decision based on ??

[Peace.... 281]

This is an excellent explanation. Consular Officers consider the circumstances on the ground today, in the present tense.

Hi, Now please I never said that the CO's base their decision on the Prophet Muhammed, I was just given a quote that I was reading from my husband. All I was referring to is that age difference is not that big of a deal as most people make it out to be here on VJ.

[pushbrk 12,881]

Hi, Now please I never said that the CO's base their decision on the Prophet Muhammed, I was just given a quote that I was reading from my husband. All I was referring to is that age difference is not that big of a deal as most people make it out to be here on VJ.

No, you didn't. However, this is a discussion about a particular case with a particular problem. It's important that the OP and other readers know, that your quote, won't help in the visa process. The only context that matters here is obtaining the visa through Casablanca, and there's not one little tiny thing about knowing Muhammed's marital history that will help that happen.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Hi Jim, I understand that the consulate does not apply the Quran in determining whether or not to give a visa or not, but I just don't see the big deal when it comes to age difference in Morocco. My husband would have been the first to tell me if that was the case when we started chatting 3 years ago, as he is dedicated to his culture and beliefs.

Jim, I guess it really all depends in the person falling in love. We love and fall in love for many reasons, and I am so happy to have found this wonderful man that loves me the way a woman should be loved. I cannot generalize anyone for loving someone, its a beautiful thing.

Yes, of course, but the consular officer can only get a vague sense of whether there is love in a relationship. They spend maybe ten minutes with your file before the interview - sometimes less. There are specific things they are trained to look for which are both positive and negative factors. These things stand out to the CO like a sore thumb. They don't publish a comprehensive list of what those factors are because they don't want to tip their hand, and they also don't want to compromise the discretion the law gives them. VJ members have gotten a pretty good sense for what constitutes both the positive and negative factors at any specific consulate based on the experience of others over time. The issue of age has come up repeatedly at the consulate in Casa. People know it's an issue because of the questions the CO asks. "Why are you marrying a woman who is so much older than you?" "Why would you marry a woman who can't give you children?"

The process is a balancing act on the part of the CO. They weigh the positives and negatives to make a decision.

In your case, the CO noticed your age because he made a comment about it, so obviously it's something they were looking for. Apparently, they didn't see enough other negative factors to outweigh the positive factors, and they issued the visa. If the CO had not seen any positive factors in your case then the outcome might have been very different - one negative factor weighs a lot when there aren't any positive factors to balance it out.

[abdelnish83 6]

I dont really think the issue is about what Mohammed did, its about the cultural norm. Yes Mohammed is there leader but the society of all religious aspects dont necessarily follow their leaders exact foot steps.

Well I cannot say much as I still am learning each and every day about Islam from my husband. However, my husband seems to disagree about this age difference issue since we are 15 years a part. To say that Moroccan men or the muslim culture do not marry older women is a generalization. My husband says let me show you some proof about our Prophet Mohammed. When people hear that the prophet had many wives they conclude without much thought that the prophet was a sensuous man. However, a quick historical review of his marriages, proves otherwise.

(quote)

When the PROPHET MOHAMMED was twenty-five years old he married for the first time. His wife, Khadijah, was fifteen years older than he. She remained the only wife of the prophet for the next twenty-five years, until she died (may Allah be pleased with her).

Only after her death, did the prophet marry other women. Now, it is obvious that if the prophet was after physical pleasure he did not have to wait until he was more than fifty years old to start marrying more wives. He lived in a society in which it was quite acceptable to have many wives. But the prophet remained devoted to his only wife for twenty-five years. When she died she was sixty-five years old.

His later marriages were for various reasons. Some marriages were with the view to help the women whose husbands had been killed while they were defending their faith. Others were with a view to cement relationships with devoted followers like Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him. Yet others were to build bridges with various tribes who were otherwise at war with the Muslims. When the prophet became their relative through marriage, their hostilities calmed down, and much bloodshed was averted.

*********

So after reading this, I find myself wondering why there is so much generalization amongst others from non muslim countries about this age difference topic when clearly there Prophet Mohammed married a much older woman. As far as children, there is nothing in the Koran that says bearing children is a must. Children are encouraged in any religion and every society and from an islamic prospective, there is nothing that says YOU MUST marry a woman to bare children. I cannot have any more children and my fiance knew this when we were dating and this was never an issue for us and he is a wonderful step dad to my daughter.

Most of the CO's that live in a muslim country know the history behind the Prophet Mohammed and his older wife, so why in the world would they hold this against muslim men???? marrying older woman when their Prophet did the same thing.

Any ways, my husband was disturbed about this age difference topic and I am just listening to what he is saying.

[Peace.... 281]

I dont really think the issue is about what Mohammed did, its about the cultural norm. Yes Mohammed is there leader but the society of all religious aspects dont necessarily follow their leaders exact foot steps.

Hi, I keep hearing about this "Culture Norm" can you please tell me in your own words what exactly is Moroccan Culture and from where do people get these ideas. I have spent the last 2 years traveling back and forth to Morocco and I seem to see everything completely different than what most are saying here. I would love to hear your thoughts on Culture Norm when it comes to age difference as well. Thanks...

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Hi, I keep hearing about this "Culture Norm" can you please tell me in your own words what exactly is Moroccan Culture and from where do people get these ideas. I have spent the last 2 years traveling back and forth to Morocco and I seem to see everything completely different than what most are saying here. I would love to hear your thoughts on Culture Norm when it comes to age difference as well. Thanks...

It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks is culturally normal in Morocco. For that matter, it doesn't matter what Moroccans think is culturally normal. It matters what the consulate has determined to be culturally normal.

I mentioned the engagement ceremony being a prerequisite in Vietnam. In reality, this is a very old tradition that many Vietnamese people don't bother with anymore, especially in the larger cities. They've become more modern, and western style engagements are very common. In spite of that, it's well known here on VJ and other immigration related sites that the CO's in HCMC routinely deny visas if the beneficiary and petitioner never had one of these traditional ceremonies and the party the follows it. In their eyes, someone engaged in visa fraud would do the bare minimum they thought they needed to do in order to get the visa. Apparently, not having an engagement ceremony or having a very small ceremony is a common factor they see in fraud cases, so they've determined it's a red flag based on their interpretation of local cultural norms.

I assume the consulate in Casa has made the same determination based on prior experience that an older female petitioner and a younger male beneficiary is a common factor in many fraud cases, and therefore should be a red flag.