decision based on ??

[pushbrk 12,881]

Yes, I obviously see your point that age would be a factor 54f/29M. Like you mentioned in Vietnam but that is not to say that it does apply absolutely to everyone. My fiance speaks perfect English, has been prev. married but it is sad to think it is a factor in decision. I know they are doing their job as best as they can but in this case why not interview the beneficiary. To me that would be more practical then putting someone through this, heck, call me up here in the states. They, the consulate obviously can afford a phone interview. Look at how much these guys have to pay, just for a soft denial!!!

Their concern has nothing to do with how you feel about him or your relationship and everything to do with what THEY think about what HE thinks about your relationship. Gleaning from what you have written, I expect they count the long relationship without marrying as a negative, not a positive. If you had a long relationship including both marriage AND living together for some significant time abroad, that would likely trump other concerns. My advice is that you need to get your head around the idea that until you are able to marry and spend significant time together outside the USA, you won't have an opportunity to be together inside the USA. Your personal honesty and opinions or feelings about how things "should be" will carry no weight with the Consular IV unit in Casablanca. This ain't their first rodeo.

[san diego 407]

I can't think of any place in the world where such a huge age difference wouldn't raise red flags,not even just in Casablanca. I don't think neither that a CO "automatically" thinks this or that based only on his own personal opinion about what a normal relationship should be..what they do is based on their live experience and knowledge of the place they're stationed.

We see many from those places running away after they get in the States with a Visa so It's normal that they're generally concerned (or even pressured from DOS because of that,who knows..). It doesn't mean there are no genuine relationships with a red flag like this one,but surely they're not the majority. The majority of the cases like the one of the OP end up being plain blatant frauds in which the petitioner was simply blind and couldn't spot it..not easy at all even for an experienced CO to spot that tiny percentage of genuine relationship in a sea of fraudsters.

[Xian&Zhen 0]

I dont think age difference is a matter as long as you can prove your relationship is real. My fiance is 20, and I am 33, he just got his Visa last month. His interview was less than 5 mins yet the VO asked him that I am so much older than him, why he loved me....and the VO was very satisfied with his answer....the VO didnt even want to see any of our chat logs, phone bills, E-mails....None of these, all she saw was just some pictures....

[Xian&Zhen 0]

I am sorry to hear what happened to your fiance. I dont think age difference is a matter as long as you can prove your relationship is real. My fiance is 20, and I am 33, he just got his Visa last month. His interview was less than 5 mins yet the VO asked him that I am so much older than him, why he loved me....and the VO was very satisfied with his answer....the VO didnt even want to see any of our chat logs, phone bills, E-mails....None of these, all she saw was just some pictures....

Edited July 14, 2011 by Xian&Zhen

[garfield529 47]

I am sorry to hear what happened to your fiance. I dont think age difference is a matter as long as you can prove your relationship is real. My fiance is 20, and I am 33, he just got his Visa last month. His interview was less than 5 mins yet the VO asked him that I am so much older than him, why he loved me....and the VO was very satisfied with his answer....the VO didnt even want to see any of our chat logs, phone bills, E-mails....None of these, all she saw was just some pictures....

It is a huge factor, and in China it is NORMAL for an older man to marry a younger woman for multiple reasons. This is what happened in your case, an older male, so the VO doesn't see this as a "visa killer" and gave the K1. The OP is in the opposite position, a culturally opposite situation. There have been too many cases of men from the beneficiaries region of the world who have married older women to gain an entry into the US and then disappear. If you don't believe this, read back over the last few years of VJ archives and you will find many stories of just this case. The consulate knows this and that is why they heavily scrutinize. The OP will probably have to go and marry and spend time and establish a stronger relationship in the eyes of the consulate. Good luck!

[Xian&Zhen 0]

It is a huge factor, and in China it is NORMAL for an older man to marry a younger woman for multiple reasons. This is what happened in your case, an older male, so the VO doesn't see this as a "visa killer" and gave the K1. The OP is in the opposite position, a culturally opposite situation. There have been too many cases of men from the beneficiaries region of the world who have married older women to gain an entry into the US and then disappear. If you don't believe this, read back over the last few years of VJ archives and you will find many stories of just this case. The consulate knows this and that is why they heavily scrutinize. The OP will probably have to go and marry and spend time and establish a stronger relationship in the eyes of the consulate. Good luck!

Dear, yes, its normal for an older man to marry a younger woman in China, but the fact is I am the female, and I am older than my fiance. In, China, I don't think its very usual to see an older female couple....

[san diego 407]

Dear, yes, its normal for an older man to marry a younger woman in China, but the fact is I am the female, and I am older than my fiance. In, China, I don't think its very usual to see an older female couple....

I agree with you. However, there is a huge difference in F33/M20 (both child-bearing age) and F51/M29.. This is simply biological matter, if you will. We are all animals with natural instincts, though sophisticated, and child-bearing age has an effect on human inter-gender behavior. I wish the best of luck to the PO, however, we all have to recognize the difference, keep it in mind, and you cannot claim that this is the same situation.

[nurse1967 287]

San Diego, I agree with you completely. First of all their age difference is much smaller with the example from China being 20/33. Secondly, they are younger (both of them) and still of child bearing ages. That does matter especially in cultures where it is assumed (MENA) that all men want children of their own. Not saying it is impossible, just saying highly unlikely to happen in a day to day type of scenario in Morocco or Egypt or any other MENA country.

Edited July 14, 2011 by Betsy El Sum

[Max1gk 68]

I agree with you. However, there is a huge difference in F33/M20 (both child-bearing age) and F51/M29.. This is simply biological matter, if you will. We are all animals with natural instincts, though sophisticated, and child-bearing age has an effect on human inter-gender behavior. I wish the best of luck to the PO, however, we all have to recognize the difference, keep it in mind, and you cannot claim that this is the same situation.

spot on

[Casprd 167]

Yes, I obviously see your point that age would be a factor 54f/29M. Like you mentioned in Vietnam but that is not to say that it does apply absolutely to everyone. My fiance speaks perfect English, has been prev. married but it is sad to think it is a factor in decision. I know they are doing their job as best as they can but in this case why not interview the beneficiary. To me that would be more practical then putting someone through this, heck, call me up here in the states. They, the consulate obviously can afford a phone interview. Look at how much these guys have to pay, just for a soft denial!!!

The consulate can and does call the petitioner if it is borderline, but in their opinion it wasn't borderline enough to require this. As much as you and others may say that age doesn't matter, and it is true that many succesful relationships happen still, in the experience of the VO, it does matter and is a sign of fraud. It isn't a reproach on your relationship, but a cause effect type of thing. Kind of like all the tourist visa overstays and adjustments making it harder for people to get tourist visas

ou also mention he was previously married and divorced. This can also be a big red flag depending on how long ago the divorce was prior to your relationship starting. Was there anything else in his background? Prior visa applications? Even if just a tourist or student visa?

[san diego 407]

BTW, I am a male at the time of the petition was 34 yo. Applying for fiancee from Russia. The lawyer immediately asked her age (It was 30 at the time) and was relieved to learn her age. Even in this case where Russia is considered lower than Morocco fraud country and the worst case scenario would be her being 18.. This would be a red flag even in my case if she was much younger.

[princessO 6]

ok, so what is considered to be "big age difference"? I am older than my husband. I am 42 and my husband is 35. Will that be considered "big" age difference?

[san diego 407]

ok, so what is considered to be "big age difference"? I am older than my husband. I am 42 and my husband is 35. Will that be considered "big" age difference?

NO, not really. Both of you in child-bearing age and age difference is pretty small. I would say >20 years for males and >10 years for women is becoming a red flag. It also heavily dependent on the culture of the beneficiary. For example, in Philippines it is normal for a male to be much older than female, so M60/F25 would still be considered normal.

[san diego 407]

And vice versa, it is becoming more common in Russia for a female being older than male by 10-15 years. Primarily among middle class.

Edited July 14, 2011 by san diego

[princessO 6]

Thank you