salam

[fazmo 24]

I believe most people understandably jumped over your shoulders when you asked about marrying other women when your current marriage is not even terminated. I think you are mature enough to know that marriage is a commitment that you need to exhaust all resolutions before ending it. I think you are a man enough to help your wife through her drinking and other problems and save your relationship. I think she worked hard for you to get here and even if she was not paying attention to you lately, she is still your wife and you should be the last person to abandon her for just drinking problems or suspected cheating. May be you have tried resolving your relationship troubles, but I don't see what you have done to save the marriage. If you have not, please try and help her out. Talk to her and ask her what is bothering her or why she is disconnected. If you cannot resolve the problem, then you have no choice but looking towards a divorce. You will have to remove your conditional residence by yourself after the divorce.

[Ayman___ 92]

thanks so much,hard for me to back my country after i leave my job, and evrything so im think to meet good woman then she can help me for pepers , but i don't know how it will be work and my Greencard will done soon

im sorry too ABYALY

Well well stereotyping most women here in usa drink I'm Italian we are known as wine drinkers and you know I don't drink at all My family does though.I Think you need to rethink things through and try to save your marriage.Because divorcing and marrying another one after they will look at you as wanting the GC only.That's from my eyes.Take care

[nurse1967 287]

I don't drink either and I am American and NOT Muslim. You really shouldn't assume all American women drink. That would be like me assuming all Egyptian men are terrorists. Rather disrespectful don't you think?

[NY_BX 397]

I don't drink either and I am American and NOT Muslim. You really shouldn't assume all American women drink. That would be like me assuming all Egyptian men are terrorists. Rather disrespectful don't you think?

Well said!

wooooooooooooooooow really i can't belive evryone mean to me whyyyyyyyyy.right now i don't know any woman and i marrid her for i lov hr so much and im crazy in lov with her but i feel she dont .and she spend all time on computer or talking with her friends on phone evryday. i leave my country for her not for america. she like to have fun with her friends girls and men without me so what that mean not cheating me sorry guys maybe u lucky u have good person .

You sound like your wife is better off without you.....

[NY_BX 397]

thanks so much,hard for me to back my country after i leave my job, and evrything so im think to meet good woman then she can help me for pepers, but i don't know how it will be work and my Greencard will done soon

im sorry too ABYALY

I rest your case....

[majid 0]

thanks so much to evryone for help me

[Golden Gate 530]

wooooooooooooooooow really i can't belive evryone mean to me whyyyyyyyyy.right now i don't know any woman and i marrid her for i lov hr so much and im crazy in lov with her but i feel she dont .and she spend all time on computer or talking with her friends on phone evryday. i leave my country for her not for america. she like to have fun with her friends girls and men without me so what that mean not cheating me sorry guys maybe u lucky u have good person .

Majid,

American culture is different than Egyptian culture. Here, people grow up being friends with men and women. It doesn't mean they are

cheating on you. We don't grow up with the separation of sexes, as you do there. Also, many people drink casually.

I don't know if your wife never communicated this to you, but these are conversations that would have been helpful to have before you came here.

I think it is impossible for you to expect her to behave as a woman from Egypt, because she didn't grow up in that culture. However, if you expected her to behave that way, you needed to make this clear to her before you came, so you both know where each other stands.

Did you know that she drinks before you came? I can understand how these might be issues, especially if you are Muslim. If she was well aware of your expectations and has chosen to defy them, I understand how you could be upset. I am sure that my fiance would be upset, too, if I went out drinking.

Try to sit down and have a talk with her, without accusing her of things. If you love her, you can work through this. Remember that coercing someone will never work, but trying to understand where they are coming from goes a long way towards finding a solution. Have patience and don't jump to conclusions. Why not try to become friends with her friends, as well? She isn't going to give up all her lifelong friends. They are people that mean something to her, just as the people you grew up with mean something to you. Try to find things to do that you share in common. Love is about compromise.

[Aly174 9]

Hi Majid...it definitely sounds like you two were clueless of each other's expectations of one another both in marriage and living your lives together in the US...that being said, it doesn't mean that all is lost...if you truly love her and are committed to her as you claim to be, take the time and put the effort and energy into getting finding out exactly what the underlying problems in your relationship are and working through them before you start looking into your post divorce options..

I'm having a good day, so I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are a good guy with good intentions...it clearly sounds as though there is not a very open line of communication between the two of you and maybe during your courtship and prior to you arriving in the US there was no discussion of her lifestyle or how either of you expected your wife or husband to "act"...that's unfortunate...if that is the case-HAVE THAT DISCUSSION NOW!....Without accusing her of anything (because we don't take well to that and it will get you nowhere), tell her exactly what you have said here and how you are feeling ..maybe your lack of addressing the issues with her is making her feel that you have no problem or interest with the situation. I don't know how much you have talked, if you have met or know her friends, if you involve yourself in activities with them or if you have your own friends you can go hang out with or have over when she goes out with her friends...You've been in the US for a year or less right? That's not a lot of time to adjust especially given the fact that you are from two very different cultural backgrounds and I'm sure feel or felt a bit alone and maybe isolated arriving there with only your wife to rely on. Why don't you go out with her and her friends get more involved? You don't have to drink, you can just socailize...that's much better than sitting at home and letting your mind run wild with ideas of what she may or may not be doing behind your back..

Our whole lives, we're brought up with the idea and freedom that it's okay to interact with and socialize with anyone regardless of class, background or sex. It's culturally accepted and just not a big deal or something we even think about..you see mixed groups of people all the time, even kids at local hangouts or one another's homes..so unless you addressed your feelings and opinions on this topic, she probably has no idea that it is a problem for you. My husband is very open minded and "westernized" but he too had some discomfort and issues with this..we talk about everything though and on the issue of girl-guy friendships whether it's in person or online..here's our verdict- we both realize we are going to have friendships with the opposite sex whether it's through work, school, lifelong friends, etc...We came to the agreement that it's ok, as long as there are no "private conversations" with these people without each other's knowledge and definitely when it comes to socializing we would both be present-that has nothing to due with lack of trust as we both trust one another 1000% it has to due with respect for your spouse and their feelings...when it comes to mixed groups socializing that is a different story, we both go out from time to time on our own with our groups of friends..that's healthy. To be completely honest though, except for the occasional "girl's night out" which in the case of me and my friends usually consists of going shopping, out for coffee or to dinner, I would rather have my husband with me in social situations. He is great fun to be around and my rock. I am proud of my husband and I want my friends and everyone I know for that matter to meet and know him so they would see what a great and fun guy he is just like I see.

I don't know if any of this has helped or not, I hope it has in some way. Just try to find out if there is really an issue or it's just a misunderstanding or interpretation of the situation. Maybe if it's too difficult to get to the issue just between the two of you, you could go see a counselor or something where you could both express yourself in a neutral environment-worth a try..

Best wishes to you...

[Nagishkaw 510]

I am smelling something fishy here.....

Probably because his wife drinks like a fish.

Majid, a green card is not worth your dignity.

[majid 0]

thanks so much to evryone tried to help me, i will fix it if i can

[Tanya and Barry 59]

Probably because his wife drinks like a fish.

Majid, a green card is not worth your dignity.

His greencard is not worth her dignity...

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

His greencard is not worth her dignity...

Exactly....if you are a victim of someones 5 year plan you can relate.

Before , it was so cute I was chubby,now I am just a big fat pig

Before , age was just a number, when you got your greencard, I became an old hag and you wanted someone younger than you

When you were back home and hungry and dreaming about America, I was wonderful. When you got here and met up with other people from back home who married for papers and threw the Americans away when you got what you wanted, you compare note about how to do it the most affectively

Majid, you arent going to get any sympathy here. If I had a dollar for every guy who was divorced from an American who was an alcoholic, I d be a millionaire. Its called dehumanization. When you are preparing to discard someone who did everything to get you here, provided 3 years tax returns and had to fight like hell to get you here, you are going to have to come up with a doozy. Do yourself a favor and tell her the truth. Tell her you dont like her drinking and that its a deal breaker. And while you are at it, tell her you want a divorce and that you will remove conditions on your own.

Just my opinion... I dont feel sorry for you at all nor do I feel sorry for alot of the guys who pull this on American women. Leave her and go remove conditions alone.. be honest with her and she most likely will give you the docs to do so and move on

His greencard is not worth her dignity...

Exactly