What are your 'friends' saying?

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Darren, as long as you and your soon to be wife are happy, then don't worry about what others are saying. Some people, for some reason, will always want to criticize.

My intention was not to criticize, just having a conversation. If we were sitting around a table sharing a drink and laughing and talking saying these exact words and having a little bit of robust dialog.. Nobody would bat an eye and hey there might even be a little bit of friendship bonding. That was how I was looking it.. No harm, no foul. I wish nothing but future hapiness for Darren and his soon-to-be Wife.

[B_J 2,752]

My intention was not to criticize, just having a conversation. If we were sitting around a table sharing a drink and laughing and talking saying these exact words and having a little bit of robust dialog.. Nobody would bat an eye and hey there might even be a little bit of friendship bonding. That was how I was looking it.. No harm, no foul. I wish nothing but future hapiness for Darren and his soon-to-be Wife.

Well, what exactly are you trying to say? I've been reading this all and I really don't understand what the point is you're trying to make. So, go ahead and explain it to me. And use small words and pretend I'm the dumbest person you'll ever meet; and, sadly, you won't be too far off with that assessment.

[gretchen_darren 67]

I need small words... right now the books I am reading are cat in the hat, and see spot run. run spot run. small words work the best for me. I am a edumicated odiot. Somehow I reverted to the 4 year old level and 6th grade level after 20 years of schooling.

With my fiance there are family here in the valley from her village. Plus my fiancee's dad's best friend. (best friend of my future father in law from childhood and teen years lives here in the valley.) The family knows me quite well. My life was invaded by them and I talk with my fiancee and her family daily. 6,000 miles and we talk about 3 to 4 hours a day. sometimes longer... last night started at 8:30 pm and finished at 2:30 am. And I learned new words--- walang magawa

[B_J 2,752]

I need small words... right now the books I am reading are cat in the hat, and see spot run. run spot run.

I highly recommend The Sneetches and Horton Hears a Who.

[gretchen_darren 67]

ahh.... better then green eggs and ham, fox in socks, 500 hats, scrambled eggs, grinch who stole cristmas, mcelligot's pool, sleepytime, and others....

[B_J 2,752]

ahh.... better then green eggs and ham, fox in socks, 500 hats, scrambled eggs, grinch who stole cristmas, mcelligot's pool, sleepytime, and others....

I bow to your superior Dr. Seuss knowledge.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

baiting post removed

[Darnell 8,478]

I need small words... right now the books I am reading are cat in the hat, and see spot run. run spot run. small words work the best for me. I am a edumicated odiot. Somehow I reverted to the 4 year old level and 6th grade level after 20 years of schooling.

ok - i try.

friends who spew about yer choice in lass, not true friends.

----

and now for a funny story.

My stepmother asked me why I chose a chinese wife, ages past (we've no issues currently) and I told her:

Hey ! Remember that big talk we had, about 5 years ago? I was asking you to help me find a new wife, someone that you knew personally, that would fit your standards? If you recall, you came up with nothing, no-one, after I gave you 6 months to find me a suitable lass. Sure, I didn't bug you each week about it, and no, I wasn't kidding - I was actively seeking your assistance. You Failed Me.

----

So, the big 'topic' has run it's course, for now, yes? Even had a posit or two from rlogan, a man who know's his subject matter very well. There's been mention of bigotry, anti-whatevers, realities vs innuendo, etc etc. I'm happy with my choices, I'm certain all of us (with the exception of one fella who's had his account pulled) are ecstatic with our choices, as well. To me, to maintain that happiness of choice, to sustain that bliss, always has meant that each and every one of us here, has gone that extra mile to actually understand our foreign lass' culture, more than what we knew when first getting on the airplane for that first visit. IME/O, that's a lot of work that other USCitizens just won't undertake - is easier to remain in their 'status quo' than it is to genuinely be interested in OUR well-being, enough to dig in and understand a bit more about our personal choices in a mate.

So, in summary, I'll simply say - friends don't say that kinda sh|t. Folks with other labels, do.

Whew ! ok - time for other cool topics, si man!

[B_J 2,752]

ok - i try.

friends who spew about yer choice in lass, not true friends.

----

and now for a funny story.

My stepmother asked me why I chose a chinese wife, ages past (we've no issues currently) and I told her:

Hey ! Remember that big talk we had, about 5 years ago? I was asking you to help me find a new wife, someone that you knew personally, that would fit your standards? If you recall, you came up with nothing, no-one, after I gave you 6 months to find me a suitable lass. Sure, I didn't bug you each week about it, and no, I wasn't kidding - I was actively seeking your assistance. You Failed Me.

----

So, the big 'topic' has run it's course, for now, yes? Even had a posit or two from rlogan, a man who know's his subject matter very well. There's been mention of bigotry, anti-whatevers, realities vs innuendo, etc etc. I'm happy with my choices, I'm certain all of us (with the exception of one fella who's had his account pulled) are ecstatic with our choices, as well. To me, to maintain that happiness of choice, to sustain that bliss, always has meant that each and every one of us here, has gone that extra mile to actually understand our foreign lass' culture, more than what we knew when first getting on the airplane for that first visit. IME/O, that's a lot of work that other USCitizens just won't undertake - is easier to remain in their 'status quo' than it is to genuinely be interested in OUR well-being, enough to dig in and understand a bit more about our personal choices in a mate.

So, in summary, I'll simply say - friends don't say that kinda sh|t. Folks with other labels, do.

Whew ! ok - time for other cool topics, si man!

[JoBri 545]

"Modern Marriage"..... what is wrong with just good old fashioned marriage??? My grandparents were married for 50 years, my great grandparents for 60+ years. I think this "modern marriage" thing ain't working. I see nothing wrong with a good old fashioned marriage. If the husband plans for his family, she is taken care of. The major problem is FAMILY. The WOMAN is taking care of herself, because the family is not being taught to take care of family. The question is, if the man is working, and the woman is working who is teaching the values to the kids? the man is working to provide for the family. the woman is working for who? the family? herself? financial freedom? things we want and need? a better house? a newer car? Are these proper values? What values are the kids learning? When society loses site of the value of teaching the children, society itself loses the values which were important to define morality.

I have no problem with woman working. But when it takes away from the family. From the husband and wife relationship. When work takes her away from the children, form a family being a family. THEN I HAVE a problem with it. this is just me. others have their own views.

That is the ideal situation, yes. But sometimes life isnt "ideal". I worked 2 shifts each day to be able to afford to bring my wife here. I barely was earning over the poverty line, as required. My wife got here and she wanted to help "us" financially, since we didnt have enough money left over after the bills to have much of a life. So she took a part-time job. Then I lost my job and had a difficult time finding another. My wife took another part-time job so we could pay the bills. Then she found a full-time job too. While she is working I am watching our baby and taking care of the home. She wants to leave it this way for now since she wants to help me in going back to school for a year so that we can get better off finacially. Then when I get my job after school she will also go back to school and get a better job. And then our son will have a better life too.

So with all the ideallic dreams and good intentions, that is the reality of it, at least for us. We are doing the best we can with what life throws our way, and with God's help who provided those jobs for my wife and the open doors for the future.

Brian in Tennessee

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

That is the ideal situation, yes. But sometimes life isnt "ideal". I worked 2 shifts each day to be able to afford to bring my wife here. I barely was earning over the poverty line, as required. My wife got here and she wanted to help "us" financially, since we didnt have enough money left over after the bills to have much of a life. So she took a part-time job. Then I lost my job and had a difficult time finding another. My wife took another part-time job so we could pay the bills. Then she found a full-time job too. While she is working I am watching our baby and taking care of the home. She wants to leave it this way for now since she wants to help me in going back to school for a year so that we can get better off finacially. Then when I get my job after school she will also go back to school and get a better job. And then our son will have a better life too.

So with all the ideallic dreams and good intentions, that is the reality of it, at least for us. We are doing the best we can with what life throws our way, and with God's help who provided those jobs for my wife and the open doors for the future.

Brian in Tennessee

At my age now, it's easy to sit back and encourage younger people to wait... get yourself in a better situation financially before you take the plunge to be together. Why? Cuz I did what you are now doing, and looking back, it sucked. I was working 4 jobs at once, and my young wife was working one as well. It made things tough on us. But we prevailed. And today, I am living much more comfortably, enough so that once mine gets here, she can afford a couple of months to adjust, get married, file for AOS, all before I kick her out into the work force to start bringing in some money!

However tough it may be, living in such conditions as you mention (and I know you aren't saying the half of it, the worry, the long nights)... it's either gonna make or break a marriage. And if you make it, you will both be stronger together for all your effort and pulling together. So good on you for doing whatever it takes. And I wish you both the best, hope your efforts will be rewarded one day soon with a job that allows you to relax at home without all the worry. At least you have her by your side, helping you!

[rheanick 42]

That is the ideal situation, yes. But sometimes life isnt "ideal". I worked 2 shifts each day to be able to afford to bring my wife here. I barely was earning over the poverty line, as required. My wife got here and she wanted to help "us" financially, since we didnt have enough money left over after the bills to have much of a life. So she took a part-time job. Then I lost my job and had a difficult time finding another. My wife took another part-time job so we could pay the bills. Then she found a full-time job too. While she is working I am watching our baby and taking care of the home. She wants to leave it this way for now since she wants to help me in going back to school for a year so that we can get better off finacially. Then when I get my job after school she will also go back to school and get a better job. And then our son will have a better life too.

So with all the ideallic dreams and good intentions, that is the reality of it, at least for us. We are doing the best we can with what life throws our way, and with God's help who provided those jobs for my wife and the open doors for the future.

Brian in Tennessee

You and your wife would soon have your dreams come true. One step at a time, both of you would eventually get there.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Yes, I have been through tough times, hard times, and difficult times. I even had parents not like me BECAUSE I earned TOO little money...If they could only see me now....hehe. Making almost 10 times the income of then. But I know each person goes through rough times. difficult times. Nothing is ever easy. For me, I guess I have just learned that family is what I value, and if I am living too much on the hog, then I need to find a leaner hog. It is my personal preference, and how I live. It is not for everyone, not do I judge anyone by what they are going through. Each person works out the way they live to the best of their abilities. I am just a man who cannot take living at home. It drives me absolutely nuts. Probably part of my upbringing, I was taught the man works even if digging ditches or picking up the garbage.... but it is just me.

[Removed-02242014 19]

My mom was the only one who made a comment about how I was not having much trouble, "...raising a wife."

What is it with MOMS ?? Mine isn't even talking to me ---- sometimes that's a blessing though!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What is it with MOMS ?? Mine isn't even talking to me ---- sometimes that's a blessing though!

Jealousy, I think. She was afraid my new wife would steal me away from her. Truth is, we spend more time visiting my relatives than I ever did before, all at my wife's insistence, and over my strong objections.