Combating the "yo mama don't live here" issue

[Staashi 371]

Sarah, I just think you're getting the shaft big time (and no lube to make it any easier). Baby daddy or not, no mo-fo is worth living in filth and disarray for. And let me just point out one other thing, if your girlfriend came to you and told you a replica of this story, you'd probably tell her, ”b!tch, please. Who does he think he is?” Just sayin'.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

my babe's a gamer. he's a pain in the a$$ when he wants to be. he's the one who works, but when he doesnt he can be as lazy as a plat growing in the sun. but if i get annoyed and tell him MOVE!!!! , he freaks out and does whatever i say. god knows how much i had to push him to move his a$$ to get papers for the interview and stuff. when he was here, our apartment was litterary FULLLLLLLLL of clothes, and dishes all over the floor. had to tell him 10 times to put them in the sink and it took me 3 days to make him wash the damn dishes. well.....men are like that. sooooooo push him , remind him that he has responsibilities too

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

and dont leave him, leave the others say whatever. you love him even if he's lazy, i love my baby to death no matter what. a woman has to be half wife and half mother for her husband. you have to educate him, teach him whats good and bad all over again. guys grow up slower. thats what im doing with my hard headed fiance and after 1 year it seems im going in the right direction. and buy yourself a car LOL. if he ever wants to use it make him clean something to deserve his driving reward

[nurse1967 287]

I am with the poster who says that she has her Maslow's way jacked up. When you work 2 or 3 jobs and have a high income but no health insurance that is pure foolishness. I am a nurse and let me tell you, if dear hubby or baby girl or yourself incur a huge hospital bill you will be saddled for the rest of your life paying for it. Because you have 2 or 3 jobs or whatever and your income is high, even though you are uninsured you won't qualify for any charity programs at the hospital. I know this because I work at the teaching hospital in my town that provides the majority of indigent care. The income requirements for the uninsured to receive any help is really, really low. Having said that, I am not sure why you think he will just magically "wake up" and start respecting you when it is obvious that he has no respect for himself, his daughter or you. He proves this every day by his actions. You claim you adore him. Well, more power to you. If this lifestyle is acceptable to you, then by all means carry on. I just feel that maybe you have some self esteem issues that need to be resolved before you will ever decide that you deserve more than you are getting at present time.

[LaL 418]

a woman has to be half wife and half mother for her husband.

[Staashi 371]

a woman has to be half wife and half mother for her husband.

This might be true, but even a good mother has to tell her son with all love and compassion to get off his azz and clean his room.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

This might be true, but even a good mother has to tell her son with all love and compassion to get off his azz and clean his room.

i agree, thats why i said "teach him whats good and bad all over again". lets be serious, when you love someone and dont do sh(i)t about it how do you expect to make him move his lazy a$$? i tried, and it worked. so its not impossible. and my man was (and still is) a spoiled little brat. his room was a mess always, he wouldnt eat his fruits unless they were cut in small pieces. my mom (in law) told me what a spoiled kid he is, and i still managed to change those stupid annoying parts of his behaviour. the kiddo loves me, God knows he does, and i love him the same. and the person who posted this loves her man as she should. if she does that it doesnt mean she has low self esteem. how can people say they love someone and dont do shiit about it, they prefer to divorce saying they tried. when you love someone you dont freakin' change them, but you show them the right way instead. thats not true love thats a childish crush. when you fail, you run away. thats not how life works

[Muh and me 18]

I've been following this thread and really don't think that any of us have the right to tell Sarah how to spend her money and what to buy or not buy. The truth of the matter is she works very very hard to give her and her family a nice life and if she wants to forgo insurance to pay for a maid and or buy a decent car then she should. Its not up to us to tell her otherwise. I and many of us understand how some of these men are totally spoiled and hopefully something will make him change his ways. But if he follows Islam, which I don't know if he does or not. He can't tell her what to do with HER money, she earns it, its hers. He is the one that is supposed to pay the bills not her, so if she decides she wants a maid, then I say go for!

[Tahlisha 28]

I've been following this thread and really don't think that any of us have the right to tell Sarah how to spend her money and what to buy or not buy. The truth of the matter is she works very very hard to give her and her family a nice life and if she wants to forgo insurance to pay for a maid and or buy a decent car then she should. Its not up to us to tell her otherwise. I and many of us understand how some of these men are totally spoiled and hopefully something will make him change his ways. But if he follows Islam, which I don't know if he does or not. He can't tell her what to do with HER money, she earns it, its hers. He is the one that is supposed to pay the bills not her, so if she decides she wants a maid, then I say go for!

Yep, Yep... That's right I totally agree :0) THey are totally SPOILED by everyone woman related to them.... LOL It's crazy... It is their culture and has nothing to do with Islam... If these men trully follow Islam they wouldn't behave this way.... Like I said before even the Prophet Muhammed (saw) helped out around the house and he had more than one wife and servants...... It is not ok to be lazy or treat your wife like your slave in Islam.....

[Tahlisha 28]

well she never said her house was nasty.... just said books and toys were not picked up..this doesn't mean your house is dirty.... If it does then most folks would be in danger of child welfare coming in and taking their kids.... you took something as simple as someone asking for advice as to how to get her hubby to help out more around the house and made it something really bad

[Ready to do it 101]

I didn't say "nasty" either. Nor did I say... filfthy.. she did though...

Posted 11 August 2011 - 07:00 PM

Ramadan has not helped this issue. So I took a 3rd job and plan to hire a maid. It's going to have me working 74 hours a week, but at least my house will be clean and my daughter won't be crawling around on a filthy floor. When she starts school and he can work, I plan to retire. lmao

well she never said her house was nasty.... just said books and toys were not picked up..this doesn't mean your house is dirty.... If it does then most folks would be in danger of child welfare coming in and taking their kids.... you took something as simple as someone asking for advice as to how to get her hubby to help out more around the house and made it something really bad

[Kathryn41 3,205]

A number of posts violating TOS have been removed along with a few quoting them. Administrative action has also been taken. Acceptable parts of removed posts are returned to the thread below.

1) How would I know that, one way or the other.

2) I don't presume anything about your living conditions. You posted in this thread quite clearly about your living conditions.

3) I don't presume to know anything about your financial situation. You posted it on this website.

Please refrain from throwing out threats. A simple "I don't agree with some of your advice (the same many others have pointed out as well) would have sufficed. Though it looks like I am the only one you chose to threaten.

Good luck

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

my babe's a gamer. he's a pain in the a$ when he wants to be. he's the one who works, but when he doesnt he can be as lazy as a plat growing in the sun. but if i get annoyed and tell him MOVE!!!! , he freaks out and does whatever i say. god knows how much i had to push him to move his a$ to get papers for the interview and stuff. when he was here, our apartment was litterary FULLLLLLLLL of clothes, and dishes all over the floor. had to tell him 10 times to put them in the sink and it took me 3 days to make him wash the damn dishes. well.....men are like that. sooooooo push him , remind him that he has responsibilities too

Ouch! I'll have you know I can't function if there are dirty dishes out.. All I do is stew in the next room and think about them.

Neat-nick and proud.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

Ouch! I'll have you know I can't function if there are dirty dishes out.. All I do is stew in the next room and think about them.

Neat-nick and proud.

LOL!!! well im sorry then all men I KNOW are like that XD

[nurse1967 287]

Certainly all men are NOT like that. I already have children, why would I marry one as well? I guess to each his/her own but when you come to forums and ask for advice be sure you are going to get opinions you don't like.