Some K1 relationships sound crazy

[advocator 0]

You are correct about the process being flawed.

1. A K1 recipient cannot work after arriving, so for a man, especially, it would encourage a fast wedding, and the timeline is very uncertain for arrival, yet I have heard about Embassies asking about wedding plans. 90 Days is not enough time to plan a decent wedding.

2. The entire process takes 8-12 months, which is a lot to ask for an engaged couple to be apart, not to mention the stress. It is also expensive, so trips for the USC are few, and the non-USC cannot visit after the visa has been applied for, even in VWP countries.

I would guess many couples do not make it through the time, cost and stresses involved in the process. I know I have been at my wit's end a number of times. Thank heavens for my fiancee's patience.

This is not true. There are guidelines for visiting right here on VJ: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1visit

Of course, there is never a guarantee of entrance at POE, but if you follow the guides, most are successful. My fiance had no problems visiting last Christmas!

[Andy and Kayla 45]

I don't think the OP is coming back.

[KittyPollitt 284]

I don't think the OP is coming back.

I found him running from the scene of the crime:

[sunshinearizona 21]

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

[sunshinearizona 21]

sounds like you're bored...read a book or so

mething and quit stirring the pot.

[gland 5]

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

That is why you should have a relationship before you start the paperwork process. I met my fiance on the net over a year ago. I have visited her 2 times but the big thing is talking. We chat on yahoo for 1 to 2 hours everday and sometimes more. I garantee we talk then most married couples.

[Andy and Kayla 45]

I found him running from the scene of the crime:

Well played.

[lonelycouple 0]

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

Hi,don't say Hell, because we don't feel its hell waiting for our approval, if your not happy of K-1 then don't file yours, please we are here to encourage each other while waiting for approval not to discourage take care

[Casprd 167]

You do realize that the "one time meeting and options for a co-sponsor" also apply to the CR-1, right? In fact, there are several countries that only allow co-sponsors with a CR-1.

My husband and I had a fairly "normal" relationship as far as international relationships go. Filing for a K1, we probably had *more* co-mingled involvement than many married couples, having lived together for several years prior to applying. We also had a co-sponsor.

Yes, that would be the ". Granted with the CR-1, you still have those same issues" part of my comment.

[southcalhog 43]

sounds like you're bored...read a book or so

mething and quit stirring the pot.

:rofl:

[Darnell 8,478]

Btw, is not the K1 process that pushes couple to marry each other within "just" 90 days. K1 is for couples that already know they want to spend their life time together [/b]

Yup - that's the point, in toto.

IMO, the OP is having some other stress, and wishes to lambast the process, because of his stress.

We all get that way, at times, yes? (Yes, even me)

[KingsWife 4]

I agree,it is a very difficult and trying process for a couple.I have been dealing with Immigration,first with a fiance visa and then we got married so now with a spousal application.It has taken now almost 2 years and we are still waiting, even after involving a Congressman's office and a request to expedite;That being said, my husband and I have realized that God's time is the best and if it takes another two years,I may go crazy!But I will still be here,it shows just how much a relationship can with stand and will make it stronger in the end if you can hold out.

[P & T 14]

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

You don't have a good answer because both the immigration system and human nature are imperfect. You've definitely lit a fire and many have shared good opinions and thoughts. So now I'll throw my nonsense in as well and waste some more peoples time.

First let me say - fraud is fraud - I am not addressing the foreign Charlatans.

Though I am not a fan of "try before you buy" - I do think that even folks who took their relationship seriously can have a moment of unsteadiness or a few threads unraveling of uncertainty whether they are the USC or the Beneficiary.

Reverse the situation.

How many of you are ready to say today that you will give up EVERYTHING that you are accustomed to here and HAPPILY move to the countryland of your fiance?

Some folks are fortunate to have fallen in love with someone from places where the US opens its doors to you for visits. For folks that do not have the luxury of 'free travel' entry, such as my fiance in the Dominican Republic, how do you really give them the opportunity to understand and experience what life will be in your neck of the woods? Language, culture, customs, financial constraints, predjudice, etc. are variables that impact your happiness. The simplest things can make daily life miserable. How do you explain snow and freezing temps for weeks on end to someone who has never left the tropics?

The time and money I have spent on plane tickets has not only been about getting to know him and his background better, but for me to know the country and decide if I am WILLING to MOVE THERE PERMANENTLY if his a$$ gets denied entry to the United States...

How many of you have really considered your "Plan B" if living together in the US is NOT an option? Ready to live humbly in their land if necessary? Have you checked into what other countries you could enter together and live in permanently if you dont want to live in their country? Or would you DUMP your Beneficiary because it would just be 'too difficult' on the relationship? Blah blahhh blahhhh Waaa waaaa waaaaaa.... cry me a river......

That is what we essentially ask them to do.

We take months to make our final decision before WE decide to petition the person. Often times we stomp around through their country and get the perk of entering the situation with eyes more wide open then theirs. (And dont try to fool yourself, once you get to that point, it is OUR decision to petition no matter what folks say about mutual. No matter how much they are in agreement, the final say still lies with us.) Why is it incomprehensible that our beloved beneficiary might need a little bit of time to be reassured that they have made the right decision too? A chance to feel a little bit in control? An opportunity for their eyes to be opened?

Personally, I know if I unwittingly followed a man that I loved to Siberia, I probably couldnt hack it. My "Evil Queen Quotient" (aka ####### quotient) would go up dramatically. No doubt, I would be A DIFFERENT PERSON than the one he knew before......

Anyone can walk away from a relationship due to causes known and unknown. That is human nature. Unfortunately, the outcome after 90 days or 990 days can be exactly the same. A desire from their part to see what they are getting into should be respected. Our relationships havent weathered a 10 year storm.... they are all pretty much 'newly founded love.' People shouldnt be penalized.

The "tools" we have at our disposal to navigate immigration are not the best. Financial and free time dont permit folks to fully explore 100%. Most of us have work obligations that screw any chance of spending time to be 100% sure. I'll take 95% and use part of the 90 K-1 Visa days if he or I have to secure the last 5%.

Both sides championed by the folks here on this board have merit. Sucks when a plane ticket to your loved one is $2000 and you only get 2 weeks vacaton to be with them... But a K-1 isnt going to change what you already know for the most part about each other and your relationship. You should be confident you are here for the purpose of marraige and only a huge surprise or change in circmstances/personality should sway you from that goal.

[daryl&lada 8]

Keep in mind what the K1 visa is...

The K1 visa enables US Citizens to bring their foreign fiance(e) to the United States in order to get married.

You are getting permission immigrate your foreign fiancee to marry and agree to do this within the 90 days. That's all... There is no "pressure" because you are already supposed to be ready to marry...( and do it within 90 days of arrival). It's not for experimenting if you "think" you want to marry or want to see how you will adjust or the like. It's not for building a marriage or a relationship. Hence the process... the proof of physical meetings, and the documentation of an ongoing relationship showing your relationship is valid and sincere and marriage is your next step.

The OP made some VERY good points of what one may think about BEFORE considering such a relationship and applying for the K1... Expenses, possible disruption of job/life, possible feeling of isolation of foreign fiance(e) in USA. Those are serious issues. However, if you are not 100% sure you want to marry and do not have an understanding about the K1 process, then wait until you are ready.

[Ready to do it 101]

I think the OP made some very valid points, and I decided not to respond because of the way in which so many have bashed the OP.

Your response is a masterpiece. The only thing that I would add is that people simply can't comprehend what it is like for a foreign fiance to adjust to life in the US. 90 days is not even close to enough time. It can take years. It is one of the reasons I am so against co-sponsors. In fact, I think the US govt should raise the financial stipulation to at least $40k/yr or even $50k/yr for a family of two. I imagine that most people who make less than $25k/year work full time 40 hours/week at a low paying job. This situation is going to cause an extreme amount of stress on a new couple.

If I made the rules.... no co-sponsors, $50k/yr minimum for a family of two, requirement that the couple have known each other at least 2 years, and requirement that they have lived together for at least 90 days (anywhere) before applying for a K-1 visa. Meet all those requirements and the relationship has the ability to stand the test of time. If you don't meet all those requirements the relationship is an uphill battle in my opinion. People just don't seem to be factoring in how brutal life can really be in the US. Bringing in a foreign fiance that does not speak English (as many do, myself included) requires almost 24 hour attention for a few years. It's very similar to tending to a child. If the USC is not willing to do that, the fiance will absolutely eventually become bored to death if the USC does not find things for the foreign fiance to do all day long, everyday.

The OP brought up some good points. There is no reason the K-1 visa couldn't have a 1 year timeframe to marry. After all, who loses if the timeframe was changed from 90 days to 1 year? No one. It's not to see if the couple is compatible together. It's to see if the foreign fiance can accustom to life in the US. Actually there is a group that loses. USC's who make less than $40k/yr. Why? As I mentioned above, all the adjustments the foreign fiance has to overcome to life in the US is done much easier if there isn't a stress on finances as well. Throw everything into a kettle that the foreign fiance has to adapt to and add financial difficulties to the equation and you will very soon have a failed relationship. If the US govt were to allow more time foreign fiances would at least have the opportunity to realize that maybe living overseas in the US with the love of their life who makes $35k/yr really isn't the life they had envisioned. Tough times call for tough measures. Some rules should be changed. The OP threw it out there, many flamed the OP without understanding what he/she was trying to get across, and P & T responded with one of the best posts I have ever read on Visa Journey.

You don't have a good answer because both the immigration system and human nature are imperfect. You've definitely lit a fire and many have shared good opinions and thoughts. So now I'll throw my nonsense in as well and waste some more peoples time.

First let me say - fraud is fraud - I am not addressing the foreign Charlatans.

Though I am not a fan of "try before you buy" - I do think that even folks who took their relationship seriously can have a moment of unsteadiness or a few threads unraveling of uncertainty whether they are the USC or the Beneficiary.

Reverse the situation.

How many of you are ready to say today that you will give up EVERYTHING that you are accustomed to here and HAPPILY move to the countryland of your fiance?

Some folks are fortunate to have fallen in love with someone from places where the US opens its doors to you for visits. For folks that do not have the luxury of 'free travel' entry, such as my fiance in the Dominican Republic, how do you really give them the opportunity to understand and experience what life will be in your neck of the woods? Language, culture, customs, financial constraints, predjudice, etc. are variables that impact your happiness. The simplest things can make daily life miserable. How do you explain snow and freezing temps for weeks on end to someone who has never left the tropics?

The time and money I have spent on plane tickets has not only been about getting to know him and his background better, but for me to know the country and decide if I am WILLING to MOVE THERE PERMANENTLY if his a$$ gets denied entry to the United States...

How many of you have really considered your "Plan B" if living together in the US is NOT an option? Ready to live humbly in their land if necessary? Have you checked into what other countries you could enter together and live in permanently if you dont want to live in their country? Or would you DUMP your Beneficiary because it would just be 'too difficult' on the relationship? Blah blahhh blahhhh Waaa waaaa waaaaaa.... cry me a river......

That is what we essentially ask them to do.

We take months to make our final decision before WE decide to petition the person. Often times we stomp around through their country and get the perk of entering the situation with eyes more wide open then theirs. (And dont try to fool yourself, once you get to that point, it is OUR decision to petition no matter what folks say about mutual. No matter how much they are in agreement, the final say still lies with us.) Why is it incomprehensible that our beloved beneficiary might need a little bit of time to be reassured that they have made the right decision too? A chance to feel a little bit in control? An opportunity for their eyes to be opened?

Personally, I know if I unwittingly followed a man that I loved to Siberia, I probably couldnt hack it. My "Evil Queen Quotient" (aka ####### quotient) would go up dramatically. No doubt, I would be A DIFFERENT PERSON than the one he knew before......

Anyone can walk away from a relationship due to causes known and unknown. That is human nature. Unfortunately, the outcome after 90 days or 990 days can be exactly the same. A desire from their part to see what they are getting into should be respected. Our relationships havent weathered a 10 year storm.... they are all pretty much 'newly founded love.' People shouldnt be penalized.

The "tools" we have at our disposal to navigate immigration are not the best. Financial and free time dont permit folks to fully explore 100%. Most of us have work obligations that screw any chance of spending time to be 100% sure. I'll take 95% and use part of the 90 K-1 Visa days if he or I have to secure the last 5%.

Both sides championed by the folks here on this board have merit. Sucks when a plane ticket to your loved one is $2000 and you only get 2 weeks vacaton to be with them... But a K-1 isnt going to change what you already know for the most part about each other and your relationship. You should be confident you are here for the purpose of marraige and only a huge surprise or change in circmstances/personality should sway you from that goal.

Edited June 28, 2011 by Ready to do it