affidavit of support

[sarah and hicham 3]

I just filed my I-129F today and I want to start thinking about my affidavit of support. First of all, which one do I use? I know there are 2 on the USCIS website. Also, I am a full time student so I don't even come close to being above the poverty line for myself and my fiance so who should I ask to help me? My parents aren't especially pleased with the situation in the first place so I don't feel comfortable asking them and I'm not sure that my brother could help because he recently quit his full time job and is now working part time for a much lower salary than before. None of my friends make enough money as we are all students.

Does the co-sponsor have to live in the same house/town as me? Also, if I don't have my W2's from the past 3 years, who do I call or where can I go to get copies from before? My employer? Lots of questions... thanks.

[dawnnhatem 0]

I just filed my I-129F today and I want to start thinking about my affidavit of support. First of all, which one do I use? I know there are 2 on the USCIS website. Also, I am a full time student so I don't even come close to being above the poverty line for myself and my fiance so who should I ask to help me? My parents aren't especially pleased with the situation in the first place so I don't feel comfortable asking them and I'm not sure that my brother could help because he recently quit his full time job and is now working part time for a much lower salary than before. None of my friends make enough money as we are all students.

Does the co-sponsor have to live in the same house/town as me? Also, if I don't have my W2's from the past 3 years, who do I call or where can I go to get copies from before? My employer? Lots of questions... thanks.

Welcome-

the co or joint sponsor doesnt have to live with you or be related, but see the I-134 instructions for all the requirements. You will fill out the I-134 for the k1, and when he gets here and you marry, within those 90 days you will start to adjust his status(not a cheap process, btw), at that time you will be submitting the i-864 and you will need to qualify or have a joint sponsor then too. Your best chance will probably be to start working on warming up your parents to their new son-in-law.

And yes, your old employers should be ble to provide you with old w-2s, but if you dont have w-2s, you prob dont have the tax returns either. If thats the case , you need to call the irs and have transcripts mailed to you and with transcripts you shouldnt need the w-2s anymore.

This support issue can kill everything, so really try to get your parents or someone onboard asap. Good luck

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thanks! The thing with my parents is that they get REALLY upset about me wanting to marry someone in Morocco just because they don't think it's realistic and they think it's nonsense. I know for a fact that if they had already met Hicham that they wouldn't be like this but as it is impossible for them to meet him before he comes it makes it very hard. I'll really have to think hard about asking them to help me- I know that if I do there will be a lot of crying (mostly on my part) and that everyone will be upset as is the case anytime we talk about Morocco or going to Morocco etc. ANyways, wish me luck and thanks for your help!

[dawnnhatem 0]

Thanks! The thing with my parents is that they get REALLY upset about me wanting to marry someone in Morocco just because they don't think it's realistic and they think it's nonsense. I know for a fact that if they had already met Hicham that they wouldn't be like this but as it is impossible for them to meet him before he comes it makes it very hard. I'll really have to think hard about asking them to help me- I know that if I do there will be a lot of crying (mostly on my part) and that everyone will be upset as is the case anytime we talk about Morocco or going to Morocco etc. ANyways, wish me luck and thanks for your help!

I do wish you luck, I'm sure it will be a challenge for you to get them involved - twice. You just have to remember that noone adequately sponsoring him is a deal-breaker and if your parents are the only suitable sponsors in your life, you might need to just swallow it and say what you have to say. Would they rather see you move to morocco if he cant come here, possibly never seeing you or your offspring again? You know your situation best. I hope you can work something out.

Maybe he has relatives in the us willing to help?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Here's my experience and my advice:

I too became engaged to a middle easterner while in college. Parents were NOT HAPPY to put it mildly. Asking them to sponsor was out of the question, and as a college student, there was no way in heck I could have met the support burdern. All of my other friends were in college too, so they couldn't cosponsor. So, what did we do? We waited.

I know, I know, it's really really painful to wait when you're deeply in love and can't wait to be in each other's arms. But, the waiting was the best thing we could have ever done. I filed the I-129F after I got out of college and got a job that met the burden of support. I filed with friends as co sponsors for the I-134, just to be on the safe side, but now for the AOS (adjustment of status), I've filed as the sole sponsor of my husband.

Why is this the best thing we've ever done? Because once your significant other gets to the United States, you neeeeeeeed a good job in order to be able to support 2 people. The US government was quite smart in requiring people to commit to support the immigrant. My husband has been here since October 3, and still is not legally able to work in this country. Thus, it's just me supporting the two of us. If he had come over while I was still in college, we would have been screwed, to put it mildly.

It's difficult to think about these things when you're at the beginning of the K-1 process, but it's important to think about how you will support each other in the early months/years of marriage. The number one reason marriages fail is because of money problems. Those of us in intercultural relationships have enough problems already, trying to navigate different expectations in marriage. Having money issues will only exasterbate these problems.

By the grace of God, we were forced into waiting, because we couldn't find a cosponsor. But that is the best thing that ever happened to us. Only now that we're together can we look back on that situation and be thankful we were forced to wait. We didn't think ahead at the time, think how we would actually live together or anything, or make a life for ourselves. If he had come over while I was in college, I can bet almost 100% we'd be divorced by now.

Because we had to wait, I had an apartment all set up, and the foundation laid for a good start to life. It also allowed me to spend more time with my parents, trying to convince them that Tamer (my husband) and I were responsible adults who were commited to each other and commited to making a decent life for one another. It has softened them up a bit, and they're a little bit more receptive, now that he's actually here. Had he come in college, I don't doubt that they would have disowned me and stopped helping me with college.

Blah blah blah, I'm rambling. In short, my visa journey was looooooong. We met in September of 2001, and got legally married in the United States on October 14, 2005. But now that we're together, I wouldn't change our journey one bit.

[lostinlove228 0]

Good Luck on your journey and I hope it is short.

[jennieh 0]

I had the same problem I was in college and married in Morocco without knowning anything at all about the visa processes. I wasnt able to find a sponor who met the requirements so I waited until I graduated and started the process and met the guidelines on my own. But then I found out current job meeting the guidelines wont be enough to make Morocco happy so I did find a sponor finally. Your sponor can be anyone at all just have to be a US citizen or a permant resident that meets the guidelines. Since you just filed your petition it will be awhile before they actually ask for it. Dont worry about your family they will come around I still have this problem since only one of my family members has actually met my husband. Good luck with everything seems like your off to a good start so far and your asking questions!

[MrsAmera 41]

Sarah - Wow sounds so similar to my situation. I met my fiance last New Year's Eve (12/31/04) in Morocco, and we fell in love at first sight - seriously. My dad was with and did meet him and liked him but I don't think he ever thought that the two of us would end up together. After I came home we stayed in touch, I went back in March and we got engaged, I went back again in July and spent 6 weeks with him and my (16 mo at the time) son came with too. We filed in June of 2005 for his visa and were approved Jan 9th, he got here Jan 25th. I am still finishing college (done in August) and while it's a strain with only me working we couldn't be apart any longer, it was making both of us so sick. Plus the money I/we would have spent visiting Morocco as often as possible would make life tough.

I was really really scared to ask my parents to help. At first no one in my family liked the idea of me with him, and I thought there was no way someone was going to help us out. I eventually asked my dad to do the Affidavit of Support, my mom was going to but she had serious health problems in the last year and we weren't sure if her income would be enough. So I asked, and I was very serious with my dad. He knew that I would be finishing school soon and that all I wanted was his signature, no extra support. I waited for his answer for 2 months, and everyday was awful but he finally said yes. When we went for my fiance's interview, they never even asked for the Affidavit of Support?!?!?! I know that he will still need to do the I-864, which I haven't talked to him about yet, but my fiance's brother is a perm. resident and his sister in law is a USC so if my dad isn't willing then we'll ask them with a pretty solid chance they will agree. I don't know how far you are in school or what kind of job you have or anything but I think it's a personal choice. You will need a co-sponsor if you are in school so start warming some people up. Try having your fiance talk to your family, get them involved. Even if they get upset they're going to have to get use to it. What I told my family was, "I understand that you have an opinion about this, but I am an adult and this is my choice." My family also knew that I would have no problem leaving the US and moving there (I actually might have preferred that route but..) my leaving also meant that my son would be leaving with me and I think that was the kicker for them.

It will be tough if he gets here and you're still in school and working a low-pay job. And maybe it will not be possible for you. You need to really consider the financial aspect of this and decide how you can make it work. I wish you the best of luck!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thank you all for your insight and advice, I really really appreciate it and you have helped me a lot. Now I have to think about lots of things and decide what to do- it's so hard to be apart for now which is why we both want him to come here asap but I really have to think about when the right time is. The other thing is that I am graduating in December, BUT I am planning on going to grad school for 2 or 3 which complicates things.

Thanks for everyone who has the same problems with their parents- it's good for me to know other go through the same thing. I will see about my parents, I know once they meet him everything will be fine but for now he is just someone I talk to on the internet and who I travel to Africa to go see so it's difficult. Thanks agaian for everything.

Sarah

[honeyblonde 0]

Sarah, You do have a hard decision to make. I'm in school too, but as an older adult going back, not as a young woman just starting life, so I already have a great job and a mortgage and two grown sons that think I'll be there for them financially forever.

From that viewpoint, bringing Abdel here was financially possible for me, but it has impacted my education. Before he came here school was my life. I was really focused and had no social life so I could study. Since he got here I got my first C ever, and am very lucky I am taking two super easy classes this semester. Of course it hasn't helped that the house is falling apart faster than we can get things fixed ( think the washer finally quit now!). It's not that he does anything to keep me from studying, he really encourages me actually, it's just that now I want to be with him.

Having said all that, I wouldn't change a thing. Yes, it is harder with him here, in some ways, but in others it is so much better. I have been in bed with the flu for 4 days and except for while he is gone to his English classes he is either waiting on me hand and foot or cleaning. He has been a huge help.

Will you be able to get a decent job while you are in graduate school? If so, that should help with the expenses. Does he want to go to school here too? If so, being in school at the same time would certainly be ideal if it was affordable. I know that Abdel and I are working toward that goal.

You sound like an intelligent young woman and no matter how hard it is, you must let that intelligence overrule the tugging at your heart strings right now. I'm sure you'll make a decision that will be best for you both.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thank you so much.

Hicham also wants to go to school so we're thinking night classes at an affordable community college and work as soon as he can for the first couple of years. I do plan on working between part time and full time while in grad school. I think I really need to sit down with my parents to talk to them about this and let them know that this is serious and not just some new craze that I am going through. I think if they would take me seriously that would be a good first step. Thanks so much for your help.

[kerewin21 2]

Sarah, I had a similar situation. I am a full-time student. For our K-1 visa, I asked my parents to help us. They refused. I asked my sister, brother, and grandfather, but my parents had told them that if they signed they could be sued in court and forced to pay thousands of dollars a year for 10 years (true, but extremely unlikely). We invited my parents to Morocco last June, and they actually went and met him and his family. They felt better about the whole situation at that point, but again refused to cosponsor him. Finally a cousin of my husband's who lives in the US agreed to be our cosponsor, but it has been a nightmare. Now that we need to file our AOS paperwork, he has been dragging his feet for the last month on filling it out (I don't know why), so we're already a week late in sending it in. It is extremely stressful!!!

What is the moral of this story? One is that even after they meet your fiance, your parents may refuse again. I was sure mine would change their mind, but they didn't. Two is that reaching out to your fiance's family in the US may be your best option. Three is that it can be VERY stressful to depend on someone who doesn't have much stake in the situation, so make sure that if you get a cosponsor it's someone you can count on to do the AOS as well.

I think Rahma has a very good point about considering waiting. Grad school can probably wait a year or two... You could take a job when you graduate and then be able to sponsor your fiance yourself. Although the money I get from my loans is enough to support us, it's not easy; you should seriously consider how the two of you will support yourselves. It would be much more comfortable for us if I had a real job. Yes, your fiance can work for a few months with the K-1 visa, but it takes time to get the Social Security number and it may be difficult to find an employer who doesn't mind the work authorization expiring in a few months. I would have waited myself if not for my situation (I'm in medical school, so when I graduate I will be working 80-hour weeks, which seems a recipe for disaster in a relationship that will have so many other challenges to begin with).

Good luck with whatever you decide. Your parents may well change their minds, or one of his relatives may come through for you.

Sharon