How did you meet your Filipino Fiance?

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

I met my sweetheart in Korea. I was stationed there in the Army, and she was on a work visa. We had both recently had relationships go sour on us, and neither was interested in getting close to another. The first time I saw her, a friend had pointed her out to me, and though she was talking to another guy, I caught her eye, and wiggled my finger at her. She came over, and I said HI, told her my name, and said I just wanted to see if she would come to me. Later, we talked for a bit, and over the next few weeks, saw a little more of each other.

But though I was finding myself more interested in her, she was pushing me away. Telling me to leave her alone, to delete her contact info... I was perplexed, thought maybe I had done something wrong. Then, circumstances placed me in the Philippines. She contacted me while I was there with friends, and she wanted me to go visit her family, as her dad was celebrating his birthday. I refused, told her it would be weird, cuz I barely knew her, and I didn't want to go meet them alone. But she persisted, and I went. Had a GREAT time, her family was awesome! We ate good food, sang karaoke, and her family made me feel right at home. I also learned from her sister that she had pretty strong feelings for me, but that she was not very showy, and was afraid of getting hurt. Hence the pushing away, I guess...

So I went back to Korea, and saw her a few days later, brought her and some friends some pasalubong from back in the PI. A couple of days later, we were talking on the phone, and she referenced me as her boyfriend. I said, "WHAT???" When did that happen? It seems as soon as her family met and loved me, she had decided. "Do I get a say in the matter?" I asked. "No need. You are mine." And that was that. That was in early June of last year.

Now, she tells me that in spite of how hard she acted towards me in the beginning, that first time we met, when I wiggled my finger at her, she said her heart was beating fast, and she thought there was something different about me. Was it just silly girl stuff? Feminine intuition? IDK, but I have never been happier! And her parents tell me that SHE hasn't been so happy as she is now. I think her family would kick her to the curb if she changes her mind about me, and just adopt me, LOL!!

[rlogan 2,036]

I can fully agree with this, cause Ive seen it on here. I've also seen it in person at Paradise Island and our hotel in Manila. There were men in their 50's with young girls and I mean as young as 18.

Shocking. I can't believe it. Are you pulling my leg here or did you actually see this? It's almost too incredible to believe. In the open? Why don't the police stop them?

I was telling my fiance who is 10yrs younger then me but still within an acceptable age bracket for me being 40, that there is no way they could bring them girls back to the states and it be acceptable by there families. I'm sure most of those men had children older then the girls they were spending their time with. It actually made me a little uncomfortable seeing that. Just is not right in the American Eye.

That's hilarious.

I don't follow old Hugh around but he's 85 and has done pretty well with a string of 18-21 y.o.'s over the years. Who is Donald Trump with these days? It is an endless list but in general it is acceptable for the rich and powerful to do it in America. They can even get paid handsomly to be on magazine covers or centerfolds for it. Treated like royalty. Royal priviliges.

Oh, but to see a mere commoner do it - why we can't have that! These men are not worthy, and neither are the girls.

Please don't take offense, I am trying to point out a general hypocrisy I see that may not be yours. You may be offended by old Hugh or the Donald et al too, but tens of millions of others sure aren't.

But you have to admit that the Philippines does have the most beautiful women.

I admit so eagerly. It's kind of an IQ test actually. If you answer yes to this question, then your IQ is measurable. If you answer no, you have no detectable IQ.

Edited June 30, 2011 by rlogan

[gretchen_darren 67]

It seems as soon as her family met and loved me, she had decided. "Do I get a say in the matter?" I asked. "No need. You are mine." :rofl:

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I don't follow old Hugh around but he's 85 and has done pretty well with a string of 18-21 y.o.'s over the years. Who is Donald Trump with these days? It is an endless list but in general it is acceptable for the rich and powerful to do it in America. They can even get paid handsomly to be on magazine covers or centerfolds for it. Treated like royalty. Royal priviliges.

Oh, but to see a mere commoner do it - why we can't have that! These men are not worthy, and neither are the girls.

Please don't take offense, I am trying to point out a general hypocrisy I see that may not be yours. You may be offended by old Hugh or the Donald et al too, but tens of millions of others sure aren't.

It's always been a bit scandalous looking on the surface, no matter who the couple is. We were at our son's first soccer practice a couple of weeks ago, and the soccer coach, who is also a dad, put his foot in his mouth when he asked one of the other dads if he was the grandfather of one of the players. He looked at least 30 years older than his younger, Asian wife.

Edited July 1, 2011 by 8TBVBN

[tallcoolone 102]

Viagra has to the "Fountain of Youth" for Hugh................

He is my Hero.....

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Viagra has to the "Fountain of Youth" for Hugh................

He is my Hero.....

Yeah, but take away his money and celebrity and the closest he'd ever get to an 18 year old is to flash one on the streets.

[tallcoolone 102]

Yeah, but take away his money and celebrity and the closest he'd ever get to an 18 year old is to flash one on the streets.

No Doubt.

[Edrotar 8]

Shocking. I can't believe it. Are you pulling my leg here or did you actually see this? It's almost too incredible to believe. In the open? Why don't the police stop them?

That's hilarious.

I don't follow old Hugh around but he's 85 and has done pretty well with a string of 18-21 y.o.'s over the years. Who is Donald Trump with these days? It is an endless list but in general it is acceptable for the rich and powerful to do it in America. They can even get paid handsomly to be on magazine covers or centerfolds for it. Treated like royalty. Royal priviliges.

Oh, but to see a mere commoner do it - why we can't have that! These men are not worthy, and neither are the girls.

Please don't take offense, I am trying to point out a general hypocrisy I see that may not be yours. You may be offended by old Hugh or the Donald et al too, but tens of millions of others sure aren't.

Your trying to compare the two and that's impossible, but I wont even go into telling you the differences because I'm sure you already know!

[rlogan 2,036]

Your trying to compare the two and that's impossible,

Huh? It is impossible? I guess I am superman then because I just did it.

Well obviously when we take silly positions and are called to defend them, the silliness compounds.

but I wont even go into telling you the differences because I'm sure you already know!

Right, well - we have a bad argument followed up with no argument at all. No actually, I don't know the differences insofar as rights of people are concerned.

In the interest of furthering the silliness I think the right answer to you, insofar as the mere ten year age gap with your partner is... is that the best you can do?

Hey, edrotar this really is in good spirit and we can disagree without malice. But for your information, here is a poll on visajourney:

Age differences

More than half the respondents (55%) have an age gap greater than ten years. So it seems you have called into question the majority of marriages on this forum. Just think about that for a moment: The gravity of condemning the majority of marriages where you are presently posting. On what? Their age difference, which has no bearing on marriage rights between adults whatsoever. Well, what else does not meet your prejudices? Maybe all of the marriages are unacceptable for one reason or another, eh?

The silliness of saying ten years' difference is OK. And may we ask why? Well that is the age gap for you, right? Delicious hypocrisy of course: any difference greater than mine is unacceptable. You don't have to defend your own age difference this way.

If you told me that seeing a black man with a white woman made you feel this same revulsion, I would say the better thing to do is ask yourself why you feel this way. Because the problem is not the black man and white woman having the relationship, but whatever prejudicial blindness you have. It is the same with age. The way the rights work here my friend is that people of adult age have a right to choose their companion, and it is not your right to interfere. You have no say in it. Race, religion, age, nationality - there isn't any basis to declare it illigitimate.

You have the right to your opinion, and we can cheerfully agree to disagree. I point out though that you have literally condemned the majority here and a wiser thing to do is to become more tolerant of the majority and respect their rights.

cheers, and I mean it.

[Edrotar 8]

Huh? It is impossible? I guess I am superman then because I just did it.

Well obviously when we take silly positions and are called to defend them, the silliness compounds.

Right, well - we have a bad argument followed up with no argument at all. No actually, I don't know the differences insofar as rights of people are concerned.

In the interest of furthering the silliness I think the right answer to you, insofar as the mere ten year age gap with your partner is... is that the best you can do?

Hey, edrotar this really is in good spirit and we can disagree without malice. But for your information, here is a poll on visajourney:

Age differences

More than half the respondents (55%) have an age gap greater than ten years. So it seems you have called into question the majority of marriages on this forum. Just think about that for a moment: The gravity of condemning the majority of marriages where you are presently posting. On what? Their age difference, which has no bearing on marriage rights between adults whatsoever. Well, what else does not meet your prejudices? Maybe all of the marriages are unacceptable for one reason or another, eh?

The silliness of saying ten years' difference is OK. And may we ask why? Well that is the age gap for you, right? Delicious hypocrisy of course: any difference greater than mine is unacceptable. You don't have to defend your own age difference this way.

If you told me that seeing a black man with a white woman made you feel this same revulsion, I would say the better thing to do is ask yourself why you feel this way. Because the problem is not the black man and white woman having the relationship, but whatever prejudicial blindness you have. It is the same with age. The way the rights work here my friend is that people of adult age have a right to choose their companion, and it is not your right to interfere. You have no say in it. Race, religion, age, nationality - there isn't any basis to declare it illigitimate.

You have the right to your opinion, and we can cheerfully agree to disagree. I point out though that you have literally condemned the majority here and a wiser thing to do is to become more tolerant of the majority and respect their rights.

cheers, and I mean it.

lol now this is very funny. Your absolutely correct and I'm completely out of line! cheers:)

Edited July 1, 2011 by Edrotar

[gretchen_darren 67]

Dec 29, 2010 (Dec 30,2010 philippines):

[20:27] gretchenrayos: what can you say about my father.

[20:28] webcrazy: looks weathered and strong

[20:28] webcrazy: protective

[20:28] webcrazy: unsure

[20:28] gretchenrayos: what does it mean

[20:28] webcrazy: da nada is spanish for it is nothing

[20:28] webcrazy: menas your welcome

[20:29] gretchenrayos: ahh

[20:29] webcrazy: you dad is cautious about me

[20:29] webcrazy: he is watching you and me

[20:29] webcrazy: he wants to know his daughter is taken care

[20:29] gretchenrayos: yes

[20:29] webcrazy: he wants to know who I am

[20:30] webcrazy: he is very unsure about the person I am

[20:30] webcrazy: he wants to accept me for you

[20:30] webcrazy: but also thinks about being cautious

[20:30] webcrazy: he wants you to be happy

[20:30] gretchenrayos: father said yes

[20:30] gretchenrayos: mahal ko

[20:30] webcrazy: mahal ko

[20:31] webcrazy: yes?

[20:31] webcrazy: big family

[20:31] webcrazy: many many people there

.......

[20:52] webcrazy: so what does you dad mean by yes?

[20:52] gretchenrayos: i'm flattered

[20:53] webcrazy: he agrees withwhat I said

[20:53] webcrazy: or he approves of me?

[20:54] gretchenrayos: my father is willing to accept you as my husband to be, mahal ko

.......

baited, and hooked.... :rofl:

[Aeris21410 7]

Dec 29, 2010 (Dec 30,2010 philippines):

[20:27] gretchenrayos: what can you say about my father.

[20:28] webcrazy: looks weathered and strong

[20:28] webcrazy: protective

[20:28] webcrazy: unsure

[20:28] gretchenrayos: what does it mean

[20:28] webcrazy: da nada is spanish for it is nothing

[20:28] webcrazy: menas your welcome

[20:29] gretchenrayos: ahh

[20:29] webcrazy: you dad is cautious about me

[20:29] webcrazy: he is watching you and me

[20:29] webcrazy: he wants to know his daughter is taken care

[20:29] gretchenrayos: yes

[20:29] webcrazy: he wants to know who I am

[20:30] webcrazy: he is very unsure about the person I am

[20:30] webcrazy: he wants to accept me for you

[20:30] webcrazy: but also thinks about being cautious

[20:30] webcrazy: he wants you to be happy

[20:30] gretchenrayos: father said yes

[20:30] gretchenrayos: mahal ko

[20:30] webcrazy: mahal ko

[20:31] webcrazy: yes?

[20:31] webcrazy: big family

[20:31] webcrazy: many many people there

.......

[20:52] webcrazy: so what does you dad mean by yes?

[20:52] gretchenrayos: i'm flattered

[20:53] webcrazy: he agrees withwhat I said

[20:53] webcrazy: or he approves of me?

[20:54] gretchenrayos: my father is willing to accept you as my husband to be, mahal ko

.......

baited, and hooked.... :rofl:

so? very

now

[gretchen_darren 67]

on topic.... how did you meet your Filipina girlfriend....went straight from single to engaged in 30 minutes without knowing exactly why I was talking to her parents on webcam....was allowed to believe I wasn't engaged until Feb 11. baited, hooked quickly, and then reeled in very slowly but very very steadily... ..

DavenRoxy: "Don't I get a say in the matter?" "No need. You are mine."

He made me think of this conversation. it is what made me go see her. i just had no idea how important those 30 minutes were in chat or what exactly HAD happened. When I talked with my girl last night, she was laughing about it. How long it actually took me to figure out. Over 6 months to realize "He accept you as my Husband to be." meant we were betrothed by her parents. Geez. I feel soooooo dense. Here I thought I was spending time for us to know each other. They had already decided on me. DavenRoxy thanks for reminding me of this. My fiancee had a great laugh as well as her family. I am not complaining because I am so happy with her. But nothing like "waking up to smell the coffee in the afternoon instead of the morning." :rofl:

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

DavenRoxy: "Don't I get a say in the matter?" "No need. You are mine."

He made me think of this conversation. it is what made me go see her. i just had no idea how important those 30 minutes were in chat or what exactly HAD happened. When I talked with my girl last night, she was laughing about it. How long it actually took me to figure out. Over 6 months to realize "He accept you as my Husband to be." meant we were betrothed by her parents. Geez. I feel soooooo dense. Here I thought I was spending time for us to know each other. They had already decided on me. DavenRoxy thanks for reminding me of this. My fiancee had a great laugh as well as her family. I am not complaining because I am so happy with her. But nothing like "waking up to smell the coffee in the afternoon instead of the morning." :rofl:

Yeah, I learned a lot about the Pinoy culture in about a week and a half, between the time I spent with her family (less than one whole day) and when I got back to her in Korea. I also learned that though she tried hard to push me away, and act cold to me, in reality she had strong feelings within a few minutes of our first meeting. But she never showed it, and I probably would have given up and not known about it except for a chance trip to the PI, and getting to meet her family. Cuz now I know it was the ultimate test... if her family didn't like me, then I was outta the picture, and she would never have risked her feelings. Snookered by the promise of a SML and some good home Filipino cookin!! Pinays might play at the role of demure and conservative, but I believe it is just a ploy, and they trick us or use magic spells to make us fall in love to them. And it works. And I love it!

On a side note, a tad off topic, but thinking about it due to other threads in the past two days... One of the things I have heard people say is that she just wanted me for my money, a ticket out of the PI. And I can't help but smile. Why? Cuz she has never asked for a dime (well, maybe a pair of shoes or a dress). She was working when I met her, and had saved quite a bit up on her own, she had more readily available than I did at the time. And if she really cared about money all that much, her BF before me makes between $15-20K (USD) per month as a cruise ship captain (Never knew they got that much, I REALLY missed my calling in life!!) So in spite of the short-sighted beliefs of others, or perhaps it is just envy, I know my mahal ko is in it for the right reasons, and for the long haul. Yeah, the infamous Pinay jealousy is kinda hard to take sometimes, but I am beginning to see it is more an expression of their VERY strong love and commitment than just trying to fight or keep my eyes straight ahead. Never felt that kind of love in my prior marriage, and have not really seen it in my friends and family who are married to Americans. I think it is truly a Filipino cultural thing that is amazing.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

It seems as soon as her family met and loved me, she had decided. "Do I get a say in the matter?" I asked. "No need. You are mine." :rofl:

Ok, Gretchen, it was bad enough you laughed at me once. Is it really necessary to rub it in? Huhuhuhu Yeah, I am a little whooped, I admit it. But at least I wear the pants in this family.

I do.

Whatever pair she lays out for me, I put them on with a smile...