BETRAYED-NEED ADVICE TO CANCEL AOS

[Ayman___ 92]

Yes He has a sister that lives in the US....

[designer 2]

Yes He has a sister that lives in the US....

Well, in that case. Change the lock in the interim and I might go as far as to find another place to live myself. Follow whatever process with the INS to withdraw your sponsorship and let him deal with the consequences.

Women tend to blame themselves by wondering what they did wrong, how did they not see this coming, If only .... blah blah you get the point. Please do not do this. Clearly this fellow is sneaky, dishonest and a manipulator. Often good, honest decent people can't see this coming because they just are not programmed to think in such devious ways.

I married a USC who was a master liar and manipulator who had a great liking for internet affairs turned RL relationships, we are now divorced. It is only after years of dealing with him that I can now see it coming a mile down the road. In my case, I have a daughter with the ex and so am connected to him for life. I don't regret having my daughter, but the bright side to your situation is that you can sever ties for life.

In one of my Ex's e-mails to his online lady friends said our baby was conceived because I raped him when I got home from my in-patient stay in the nut house and he stays because of the kids. Ha! I've never been to the nut house to visit let alone was I a patient and I surely did not rape my husband. Just an example of how these type of guys can lie and oddly enough other women believe them.

Once I received a phone call from a man that he thought our spouses were away and asked if my husband was away on a business trip. He was, or so I thought. Seems the husband found an email from my husband to his wife where my husband said he would tell me it was a business trip.

This fella did it once, he will probably keep at it and I doubt the mother will be the last.

Taking photos/video of your home is scary to me. I'd move.

I've probably shared too much, but my heart goes out to the OP. Thankfully she is the USC and not in a foreign land without family and friends as I was.

OP - I got though it, you can too.

[Ban Hammer 13,488]

one more post removed. do not suggest any form of illegal activity on this board.

[Enigma11561 336]

Calm down. Do not let this prevent you from thinking clearly. Several things, not necessarily in any order. Is your address the one on file with the USCIS? Then all the mail, including his interview date should be coming to you. If he does not know the date, he can default on his AOS. Also, and I can be corrected if I am wrong, but usually the petitioner attends the interview. That is you. If you are at this interview you can stop everything then and there. Also, the sooner you set up an info pass ( if an office is near you) to explain, big picture not details, that you need to stop all further processing, am withdrawing financial support, etc.. the better. The best defense is a good offense. If he cannot adjust status, at some point ICE will be looking for him. Just "be cooperative".

[Deina 8]

Personally I do not like to advise a persons decision who made an oath! And no matter how sacred marriage is considered if it's not respected and based on love and trust I do not see why it would be continued....

Yes, forgive is divine and to forgive is to renounce desire and/or action that may occur to make suffer who hurt you. But as for me if abused, hurt somebody anf if law was violated, nobody tells us to remain silent or complacent situation!! The world is run by rules...

......

Question: If still married is not illegal to change the door lock?

[designer 2]

Personally I do not like to advise a persons decision who made an oath! And no matter how sacred marriage is considered if it's not respected and based on love and trust I do not see why it would be continued....

Yes, forgive is divine and to forgive is to renounce desire and/or action that may occur to make suffer who hurt you. But as for me if abused, hurt somebody anf if law was violated, nobody tells us to remain silent or complacent situation!! The world is run by rules...

......

Question: If still married is not illegal to change the door lock?

It is not illegal to change one's locks. It may not be legal to deny him a key to the new lock set. Recall, OP said he left, she did not ask him to leave. He has abandoned the marital home - this could be a game changer.

[Ban Hammer 13,488]

one post removed and one poster's access removed.

[Krikit 1,165]

Another post removed. Any further off-topic commentary will result in an immediate thread ban. Thank you for your cooperation.

[Soju 5]

I am sorry to hear about you. We are dealing with ppl People do things stupid and we can't really know what ppl are really thinking. If you say you know everything about your love ones, you are wrong.

This person has not threaten you or your life. Also know that you are married, so I think filing for divorce or annulment would be in order.

I was not sure what an annulment is so I looked it up . An annulment is a court procedure that dissolves a marriage. But, unlike a divorce, an annulment treats the marriage as though it never happened.

There are some conditions that needs to be met. I am not giving you any legal advice here, but concealment might be a reason for an annulment. Like conceling a children from a prior relationship.

Also I would be very careful using what he or she say in court to argue being betrayed. He has already told you about the child, but he could simply deny anything he has told you and you have to prove in court.

I think things can get really ugly if other person decides to make you the bad one.

[betrayed woman 13]

Ok...To the OP, I'm sorry this happened to you, I can't even imagine how painful it is. But you're a smart woman, and found out everything.. Listen, I can't give you any advice about what to do with your Affidavit of Support - others members did a very good job - but about your heart...

The only thing you can do now is get yourself together, and instead of thinking with your hurted heart, think with your wise brain. No one here can tell you how and when you'll recover from this sad moment, but I'm sure you will heal the scars in your heart and move on and be very happy in the future. What he did, geez... I wouldn't have the guts to just ''ask him'', I'd go crazy really.. but that's how I am, I can't stand people lying to me, virtually cheating? How low is that? But now, even if it seems impossible, BE STRONG.

You need all the support now, and please ignore the stupid off-topic posts on here. Focus on what can help you ok? I wish you good luck and that everything goes well, and in the future you can be very happy.

Carolina

Thank you so much for your kind words.

[betrayed woman 13]

I'm very sorry this has happened to you, and I think you need to take care of and protect yourself. He made his own bed now let him lie in it.

I'm also a little bothered that he is taking videos of your house, dog, and neighborhood. What is that all about? Why does she want them? Are you sure she is in his country?

You should change all the locks in your house and "don't" meet alone with him "or his sister" if she contacts you for any reason. There is some good advice here from knowledgeable people. I wish you the best of luck and take care.....

Thank you, he claimed she requested videos and she had sent him a lot of herself and the kid. Yes, she is in his country, I confirmed this with the phone number and also learnd his sister (here in another State) sent her money in the home country. The emails say how when he goes back to the county he will be so happy to see her and the kid at the airport waiting for him and he hopes he has enough money when he comes back. All the locks are changed, and the alarm code also. I'm not staying at my house this weekend.

[betrayed woman 13]

Well, in that case. Change the lock in the interim and I might go as far as to find another place to live myself. Follow whatever process with the INS to withdraw your sponsorship and let him deal with the consequences.

Women tend to blame themselves by wondering what they did wrong, how did they not see this coming, If only .... blah blah you get the point. Please do not do this. Clearly this fellow is sneaky, dishonest and a manipulator. Often good, honest decent people can't see this coming because they just are not programmed to think in such devious ways.

I married a USC who was a master liar and manipulator who had a great liking for internet affairs turned RL relationships, we are now divorced. It is only after years of dealing with him that I can now see it coming a mile down the road. In my case, I have a daughter with the ex and so am connected to him for life. I don't regret having my daughter, but the bright side to your situation is that you can sever ties for life.

In one of my Ex's e-mails to his online lady friends said our baby was conceived because I raped him when I got home from my in-patient stay in the nut house and he stays because of the kids. Ha! I've never been to the nut house to visit let alone was I a patient and I surely did not rape my husband. Just an example of how these type of guys can lie and oddly enough other women believe them.

Once I received a phone call from a man that he thought our spouses were away and asked if my husband was away on a business trip. He was, or so I thought. Seems the husband found an email from my husband to his wife where my husband said he would tell me it was a business trip.

This fella did it once, he will probably keep at it and I doubt the mother will be the last.

Taking photos/video of your home is scary to me. I'd move.

I've probably shared too much, but my heart goes out to the OP. Thankfully she is the USC and not in a foreign land without family and friends as I was.

OP - I got though it, you can too.

Thank you for sharing. I am not balming myself, I know what I deserve an it isn't this. I went with my instincts and took steps to discover all of this information. I am glad I was able to discover it, so all the hurt now is probably minimal to what it could have been if I didn't check up on things. I had thought about moving, but I own my house....I bought it before I met him, so it would be refreshing to move but I love my neighborhood and I am hoping I can be comfortable living here alone again at some point. If I can't I don't think selling would be an option, but I could rent the house out and then rent another place to live. Time will tell =)

[Adam&Noory 0]

I am the beneficiary.

I married 2 months ago, and trust me this is the dirtiest thing to do, I love my husband so much. Well as you are a woman US citizen you must take legal action against the man who betrayed you. I won't say it's your husband as he is not!! He doesn't deserve to be your husband. He should be punished!!! If i were you, I would kick him out and report this to the cops and report it to the immigration officer of what he did. I feel your pain, I wish i could give you a big hug.

Stay strong!!

Hugs!!

Noory

[betrayed woman 13]

Again, thanks to all for the kind words. Today he texted me telling me he is working in another city (obviously illegally without papers). He used someones phone, probably a family member because I canceled his phone service as I was paying for it and it was in my name. I only responded asking him to sign divorce papers....I picked up the paper work at the court house today and if I can have it processed without his signature, I will do that. I also completed the ICE report and sent overnight mail a request to withdraw the I-864 with explanation, I had my signature on this request notarized and included the original I-864, receipt for the I-485 in process that it's connected to and supporting emails showing his fraudulent intentions. I sent the package to the local office where biometrics were taken and I sent it to CSC where the case was transferred to a few weeks ago. The locks have been changed on the house and the alarm code also.

Should I do an info pass appt also?

I just want the I-864 to be withdrawn and the AOS to be canceled in connection to that. I checked with USCIS and they are processing AOS from Dec 2010, so hopefully I will be in time as his was sent in May 2011.

Edited June 24, 2011 by betrayed woman

[Darnell 8,479]

Yes, do info pass for local office, as well.

The local office can take your withdrawal letter, and you can talk to the local ICE supervisor there.

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Unsure about the address used for biometrics, usually these are ASC offices and not USCIS local offices - but maybe you went to a local USCIS office.

Edited June 24, 2011 by Darnell