Divorce is final

[mystic 11]

Update to my horrible situation.. After months of immigration holding my husband, now ex husband and him being convicted of domestic violence against me as well as a few other misdemeanor charges, for whatever reason immigration judge set him free on May 13th at a hearing. They will not tell me where he is, if he is still in the country at this time, nothing other than he was released into the usa on May 14th. This has really shaken my faith in how the government protects its citizens as he made direct threats to my safety, the investigator of my local county included notes in his file that he was capable of killing me, there were photos of the cut on my head that required stitches,,, and still they set him free instead of deporting him. I had been given a date for a final hearing on my divorce before he was released, however, he was released from the prison before the certified notification was delivered to him therefore it counted as he was not served notice. Several people told me that i could not have the hearing or the divorce until he was located or i obtained permission from the judge to publish the divorce date in the paper... I could not get his family to tell any one i had call to ask of his whereabouts to answer, they simply hung up, immigration would tell me nothing at all.... and i know no one that he would have gone to, in short i spend every day afraid because i have no idea where he is and sure he is coming after me at some point. I prepared a motion for permission to publish the date in paper one week before my hearing which i realize was too short of time. The day of the hearing, yesterday, i went to the court house early to speak to a pro se lawyer as to what to do from here on in the divorce, before seeing that lawyer i checked in with the court office and was informed the judge had decided that he was going to have the hearing anyway. I spoke to the lawyer and she said that maybe he will rule on divorce or maybe he will tell me i need publication, and she told me how to handle it from this point on, i have done all of this on my own until now. I attended the hearing several hours later in which the judge granted my divorce to me and all of my requests as well as gave me permission to get rid of his belongings he left at my house in any manner i wished. This judge was the same judge that handled his criminal cases before he was sent to immigration and after granting my divorce told me off record he was very sorry that i had had to go through all that i did. I said well we live and learn, he said no, we all make mistakes, thats all.

Advice to everyone,,, be careful. You might think you know someone very well, but you really dont, not until the day you live with them here on your ground. No not everyone is bad but going and spending even a year with them in their country cannot and will not prepare you for how they really are when they come here. I saw small warning signs before and ignored them,,, but it all came out full force the minute he stepped off the plane in new york with me.

To all the good ones out there, thank you very much for being who you are.... to all the victims of the bad ones, i am so sorry for what you have and are going through.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Sorry you had to Endure this. I read it very well.

[FormerlyKnownAs 17]

I have been very saddened to read of your horrible experiences and I can say that I can feel your relief that the divorce has been granted. I hope for all the best for you from here on out. Thank you for sharing a very difficult story with us here, I feel it's vital that we all keep our eyes open and prepare for the worst even while hoping for the best.

Know that eventually happiness will find you when and where you least expect it.

[Ayman___ 92]

So Sorry To Hear About Your Sad Ordeal.Thank GOD You Have The Divorce.Maybe You Can Go To A friend's home or a relative's To Stay For Awhile Until You Feel safe. My Heart goes out to you.Stay Strong

[TBoneTX 45,304]

Keep the faith and keep us apprised, si man.

[Darnell 8,478]

Whew - another chapter closed, I'm so proud of you !

Is any restraining order currently in effect, or new one granted at the divorce hearing ?

I'm really f'ed up about the fact that ICE let him exit the detaining facility - I have to wonder if was procedural error on their part ? Do you know if he has any orders to leave the country by a certain date?

Can the local county investigator do some 'reach out' to the clerk of the immigration court, get any other info ?

(reach out is a very informal process between agencies, usually a phone call or in person visit, officer to officer)

Edited June 23, 2011 by Darnell

[mystic 11]

Whew - another chapter closed, I'm so proud of you !

Is any restraining order currently in effect, or new one granted at the divorce hearing ?

I'm really f'ed up about the fact that ICE let him exit the detaining facility - I have to wonder if was procedural error on their part ? Do you know if he has any orders to leave the country by a certain date?

Can the local county investigator do some 'reach out' to the clerk of the immigration court, get any other info ?

(reach out is a very informal process between agencies, usually a phone call or in person visit, officer to officer)

There is a 2 year no contact order in place from Feb 17th this year so if he does contact me and he is in the states he will go to prison. I don't know why they decided to turn him loose, the site stated the judge terminated proceedings. I made calls to the ICE person handling him and he refused to tell me anything other than he was released into the USA on May 14th and there are no further proceedings against him. He cannot tell me if he is still in the usa or what address he gave them, nothing. I have a feeling that they didn't do their job on gathering all of the evidence in the case or there was one possibility that i read online that if an immigrant does a plea agreement on a crime that may make them deportable and is unaware of the fact that pleading will make them deportable then the judge may throw it out. He did not know at the time he signed the plea that it would indeed make him deportable.

The local investigator wont do a reach out or ask for information because they have no case pending against him, and honestly, no one in my local court wants him brought back to this area. They were appalled at his behavior in the court house the day of his last arrest. I remember walking into the prosecutors office to give them a paper and when i told the lady who i was she said salah wife? i said yes, she said i am so sorry for you lol.

Anyway, i am sitting it out. Its been more than a month since he was released and i have known since about 5 days after his release and so far he hasn't shown up. I am hoping that he wont but i am staying on guard because maybe he is thinking that if he waits some time i will let my guard down and will be easier to get to. I live in the country and my little one plays outside every day. I am constantly watching all around for anyone walking, when i am driving i am watching. Dark comes and everything is locked up. Even at my work, i am watching out the windows as i take care of customers and watching who walks through the front door.

I have emailed his family and a family friend in egypt asking if he is there, stating i only wish to know if he is in egypt or not due to divorce proceedings but no one responds. I have had a couple people call his family and they hang up on them. I had someone call a woman here in the states that used to be my close friend before this, she offered support to him by offering a place to stay so that the courts might release him from the local jail, her husband is egyptian as well...she told the person that called that she knows nothing and to call ice if i want info lol,, like i didnt already try that.

Above all i will just move on. I am living my life without him or any other man just fine, me and my kids are happy and healthy and i have a job and a home, i dont think we need more. Sure i will be on edge and constantly watching over my shoulder but i will just trust god to keep us safe and leave this chapter behind.

I pray no one else on here has to go through all of this, though i saw another thread today of someone being betrayed. Hopefully she stays safe and doesnt end up beaten as i did.

Good luck to all of you on your journeys, i hope everyone gets the best.

[Ironman140 45]

Sorry to hear about this horrible experance you endured

A woman of strength . Understands its the journey that gives her strength

God bless and good luck

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

There is a 2 year no contact order in place from Feb 17th this year so if he does contact me and he is in the states he will go to prison. I don't know why they decided to turn him loose, the site stated the judge terminated proceedings. I made calls to the ICE person handling him and he refused to tell me anything other than he was released into the USA on May 14th and there are no further proceedings against him. He cannot tell me if he is still in the usa or what address he gave them, nothing. I have a feeling that they didn't do their job on gathering all of the evidence in the case or there was one possibility that i read online that if an immigrant does a plea agreement on a crime that may make them deportable and is unaware of the fact that pleading will make them deportable then the judge may throw it out. He did not know at the time he signed the plea that it would indeed make him deportable.

The local investigator wont do a reach out or ask for information because they have no case pending against him, and honestly, no one in my local court wants him brought back to this area. They were appalled at his behavior in the court house the day of his last arrest. I remember walking into the prosecutors office to give them a paper and when i told the lady who i was she said salah wife? i said yes, she said i am so sorry for you lol.

Anyway, i am sitting it out. Its been more than a month since he was released and i have known since about 5 days after his release and so far he hasn't shown up. I am hoping that he wont but i am staying on guard because maybe he is thinking that if he waits some time i will let my guard down and will be easier to get to. I live in the country and my little one plays outside every day. I am constantly watching all around for anyone walking, when i am driving i am watching. Dark comes and everything is locked up. Even at my work, i am watching out the windows as i take care of customers and watching who walks through the front door.

I have emailed his family and a family friend in egypt asking if he is there, stating i only wish to know if he is in egypt or not due to divorce proceedings but no one responds. I have had a couple people call his family and they hang up on them. I had someone call a woman here in the states that used to be my close friend before this, she offered support to him by offering a place to stay so that the courts might release him from the local jail, her husband is egyptian as well...she told the person that called that she knows nothing and to call ice if i want info lol,, like i didnt already try that.

Above all i will just move on. I am living my life without him or any other man just fine, me and my kids are happy and healthy and i have a job and a home, i dont think we need more. Sure i will be on edge and constantly watching over my shoulder but i will just trust god to keep us safe and leave this chapter behind.

I pray no one else on here has to go through all of this, though i saw another thread today of someone being betrayed. Hopefully she stays safe and doesnt end up beaten as i did.

Good luck to all of you on your journeys, i hope everyone gets the best.

I am just glad that you are one of the few that endured this level of domestic violence and got out of it as clean as you did. Some are not so lucky. Some womens lives are scarred forever and its the complicity of people that both you and he knew that knocks my socks off. Hes probably being helped and I can promise you, hes snowed other people. What you need to do now is just get your divorce and dont look back. Hes not going to come back and get you honey. Hes took busy trying to find work and trying to figure out just how exactly he is going to pull off his new life in the US. Congratulations. You are NOW a folk legend and you are now going to be that mean wife in all the stories and gossip back home of what you better not do to your greencard ooops I mean wife in the US. LOL

Get on with your bad self and I know it hurts but you will and can survive this.. HUGS

[sara..... 371]

for someone that you once loved and planned a life time with to have that much control over you is inhuman...to live in fear is almost worse than anything else...im so very sorry this has happened to you

we added you to our prayers a long time ago we still give prayer for you and your family i wish that we could do more for you.....

May Allah protect you and your family

sara

[isleta521 5]

Reading your story, I find it so very hard that the authorities will not help you or give you information that could save your life. Especially since you have documented proof of violence. I am so very sorry. It is not fair that you have to go through this. Stay alert and vigilant.

[mystic 11]

I am just glad that you are one of the few that endured this level of domestic violence and got out of it as clean as you did. Some are not so lucky. Some womens lives are scarred forever and its the complicity of people that both you and he knew that knocks my socks off. Hes probably being helped and I can promise you, hes snowed other people. What you need to do now is just get your divorce and dont look back. Hes not going to come back and get you honey. Hes took busy trying to find work and trying to figure out just how exactly he is going to pull off his new life in the US. Congratulations. You are NOW a folk legend and you are now going to be that mean wife in all the stories and gossip back home of what you better not do to your greencard ooops I mean wife in the US. LOL

Get on with your bad self and I know it hurts but you will and can survive this.. HUGS

Oh the divorce is finished, the judge granted that. As for it hurting, well mostly the only thing hurting now is my pride that i believed in him in the first place. He has actually surfaced around here, one of my friends spotted him walking about 10 miles from my house along a highway and i, myself, spotted him saturday night walking along the highway just 2 parking lots down from my work... i am on high alert.

for someone that you once loved and planned a life time with to have that much control over you is inhuman...to live in fear is almost worse than anything else...im so very sorry this has happened to you

we added you to our prayers a long time ago we still give prayer for you and your family i wish that we could do more for you.....

May Allah protect you and your family

sara

Thank you sara