Preparing myself, well in advance

[K1waiting 0]

Hey all,

I'm currently waiting for my K1 to be process, recently had NOA1. I'm the beneficiary, from Wales in the UK and am already feeling a little anxious about my move to be with my fiance in the US.

I've visited the US once and stayed with her in Point Pleasant WV, and then for about 6 weeks near Bryan OH. The UK and US are pretty similar but at the same time are very different. The culture will take me a while to get used to. She is now living near Hasting, MI, and this is where we plan to live for the foreseeable future when I finally get there, she has a good job there so we want to stay pretty much near there for that reason.

I'm not quite sure to describe how I feel about it, but the even things like the town layouts are just so different. The way there are buildings/shops/department stores by the side of busy wide roads, with loads of space in between them, it just feels like you're not really in a town, and that it just feels like the middle of nowhere, hard to explain, maybe someone else from the UK feels this too and knows how I'm feeling? I like places to feel like they are 'somewhere' or 'something'. Does anyone understand this?

It's not easy to explain so sorry for the vagueness.

Does anyone else from the UK or even Wales feel like this? How did you deal with the feeling of, for want of a better description, feeling 'lost'? Is anyone else living in/near Hasting, MI?

[cathy2904 97]

I'm going to be in Peachtree City, Georgia but I know what you mean - where is the town centre? Or should I say Center?

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I'm the USC so I can't understand completely. But I've spent 9 months in England and I know exactly what you're talking about. Everything here in the US is so spread out. It's still hard to explain this to my in laws. They're coming to visit, first time for my father-in-law, and he asked how far the airport was from us, we said 20 minutes, and he said are you sure you want to come that far, we could rent a car or get a taxi. I had to try to explain that we work farther than that. 20 minutes to us is a trip to the shops, unlike there where is 3-4 towns over.

My husband didn't have too hard of a time adjusting to the culture. It's faster here, everyone's always in a hurry. It's so laid back in Europe. He had the hardest time adjusting to working and the lesser amount of holiday pay/time off. The things like the shops being spread out, wasn't too hard to overcome. Once he learned his way around, by exploring on his own and with GPS, then he felt more at home. He's overtaken me, He knows ways I don't and I grew up here.

My husband did go through a period of homesickness. He missed his family and friends. I think it makes it that much harder because all he had was me and I had my family around. After he got a job and started meeting people, he made friends and now plays on a football team. He's happier than I ever seen him. He has his own life not just being a part of my life.

My advise is to enjoy every minute your at home now. Once you get here do all you can to help yourself, such as maybe volunteering or joining a sports team, just keep busy.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

My husband didn't have too hard of a time adjusting to the culture. It's faster here, everyone's always in a hurry. It's so laid back in Europe. He had the hardest time adjusting to working and the lesser amount of holiday pay/time off. The things like the shops being spread out, wasn't too hard to overcome. Once he learned his way around, by exploring on his own and with GPS, then he felt more at home. He's overtaken me, He knows ways I don't and I grew up here.

I'd like to give Kelly's post three thumbs up, but especially this part! Although the physical differences are the ones you will notice first, and which are more apparent in the beginning few months, they are probably also the ones you will adjust to most easily.

I recently started a job that is 'only' twenty minutes away from home - and yes, it seems very short a commute to me now, too!

So, yes, I definitely understand how you feel. And Kelly is correct in that the best way to deal is to try and keep as busy as possible once you are here.

I've overtaken my husband too - he was born and grew up in San Jose, but he's been asking me for directions since about two weeks after I arrived!

[K1waiting 0]

Thanks for the replies so far all. I had a chat with my fiancée about all this today and we agreed that we would have a look at the towns around Hastings and see if there were any that feel/look a bit more like what I'm used to here. We had a look at a few real estate websites as well and found some nice houses, one in particular that we both like is a stone built cottage, with some outbuildings, patio, and what I think are daffodils (National flower of Wales lol) in the garden. Feeling a lot better about it after a chat now, and feeling a lot better about it! Hopefully like you've all said it won't take long to get used to the different look of things

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Another thing that helps is to really concentrate on the positives!

For example, all of that space means houses and apartments are often a little roomier in the US. I've also really learned to love built-in closets and extra bathrooms.

Wider roads can be very convenient when driving.

There is a lack of personality in many US urban areas, but on the other hand, there are times when I have really appreciated knowing that I'm almost guaranteed to find that coffee store/supermarket/department store on the next street corner.

Walking in urban areas in the US is definitely far less interesting... but I have also found some really nice cycle paths and pedestrianised shopping districts - you just may have to drive a little further to find them.

Edited June 22, 2011 by Alex & Rachel

[cactuscake 0]

I've been living in Columbus Ohio for a year now and my wife and I both thought at first that it feels like the whole city is nothing but strip malls. It can feel a little depressing when you can't just go for a 5 minute stroll down to some shops and pass other people on foot. On the other hand, like others have said, a 10 minute drive can get you to a nice pedestrianized spot or some walkable neighbourhoods. A lot of cities seem to have miniature euro-villages (German village, Little Italy, Slavic areas, etc.) which are culturally rewarding. Although the US has a relatively young history, it really is a mash-up of the entire old world and it's always interesting to find a poster or brass plaque detailing the discoveries of pioneers old and new that have explored these lands.

One thing I find the US has that the UK doesn't is some really massive natural wonders. Once you get used to the concept of 3-4 hours driving being a 'day-trip' (believe me, this will happen) there are hundreds of opportunities to go exploring in any of the state parks for interesting rock formations, waterways, plants and wildlife. And just think about your honeymoon - you could go and see the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the Rocky Mountains, Redwood Forests, etc. You also get real weather, none of this stupid overcast/drizzly can't-make-up-its-mind-what-season-to-be stuff, no, you get a real sunny summer and a real snowy winter.

I personally love it here, and I know that whenever I want a taste of roundabouts, castles, clotted cream and freezing cold seawater again, all I have to do is go visit my family in England! Don't forget, you're not stuck here forever once you've emigrated. Maybe one day your spouse might like to go and live in Wales for a while and do the whole thing backwards? The very fact that you're both embarking on this momentous adventure shows that you've got guts!

[rlogan 2,036]

Hey all,

I'm currently waiting for my K1 to be process, recently had NOA1. I'm the beneficiary, from Wales in the UK and am already feeling a little anxious about my move to be with my fiance in the US.

I've visited the US once and stayed with her in Point Pleasant WV, and then for about 6 weeks near Bryan OH. The UK and US are pretty similar but at the same time are very different. The culture will take me a while to get used to. She is now living near Hasting, MI, and this is where we plan to live for the foreseeable future when I finally get there, she has a good job there so we want to stay pretty much near there for that reason.

I'm not quite sure to describe how I feel about it, but the even things like the town layouts are just so different. The way there are buildings/shops/department stores by the side of busy wide roads, with loads of space in between them, it just feels like you're not really in a town, and that it just feels like the middle of nowhere, hard to explain, maybe someone else from the UK feels this too and knows how I'm feeling? I like places to feel like they are 'somewhere' or 'something'. Does anyone understand this?

It's not easy to explain so sorry for the vagueness.

Does anyone else from the UK or even Wales feel like this? How did you deal with the feeling of, for want of a better description, feeling 'lost'? Is anyone else living in/near Hasting, MI?

Interesting post. People in a lot of semi-rural regions here are commuting to big box stores and malls from residential subdivisions. The roads are built to service that model so there's no "character" like you see in a city that developed gradually over centuries like in the UK. There isn't really a core downtown.

[Damian&Kelly 16]

My husband loves the natural wonders and the fact you can find somewhere with no one around, of course it's a drive instead of a walk but that's something to get used to. We went to the Smoky Mountains (TN) for our honeymoon and loved every minute of it and decided to take our in laws when they come visit in September. There's pros and cons of things being so far apart. We're really looking forward to buying a house in a years time and having our own space and privacy, a little more spread out then you'd find in England. And believe it or not, they just built 2 roundabouts here, Like they brought a piece of England to my home town.

Honestly, once my husband made friends here, it was his home. There's things he still misses, but there's things he likes here more than there. It's def cheaper and we'll get a lot more house for our money, and more space. Just have to stick with the positives, and as of right now they outweigh the negatives. We're by no means stuck here.

[Ippsy Pippsy 31]

You can always look up what the "walkability" measure is for a neighborhood. I'm not sure if such a number has been generated for all areas, but it does exist. You can plan where to live and have something closer to what you are used to. If you stick to a thriving city section, you'll have it. You might also have more crime though... Walkable areas aren't as common here in the USA as elsewhere.

Edited June 30, 2011 by Ippsy Pippsy

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

k1waiting,

praise the Lord that you don't move to California. I come from a place where we had 300 days of rain every year, mud, snow, gray skies . . . you name it!

For 19-1/2 years now I live where we have blue skies and sunshine 300 days a year. Took me quite some time to adjust, like 5 minutes . . .

[Alex & Rachel 78]

k1waiting,

praise the Lord that you don't move to California. I come from a place where we had 300 days of rain every year, mud, snow, gray skies . . . you name it!

For 19-1/2 years now I live where we have blue skies and sunshine 300 days a year. Took me quite some time to adjust, like 5 minutes . . .

Seriously, this is the main reason why I don't wish to move anywhere else.

(Although it rained here yesterday. In June! What is that all about?)

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Seriously, this is the main reason why I don't wish to move anywhere else.

Hi-jacking this thread,

this was one of the primary reasons why I live where I live for over 10 years now: in the greater Santa Barbara area, in spitting distance to the beach. We have all year round lovely weather: never too hot, never really cold, but beautiful blue skies almost every day. What's the "perfect" temperature range for a human being? Simple: if you don't need a heater, and don't need air conditioning. You are not freezing, and you are not sweating, while being dressed very comfortably. In fact, my house's heater I only fire up during a few winter nights, and I don't even have air conditioning or a fan. No use for it!

After years in the Old World, I got so depressed waking up in the morning and seeing gray (grey) skies, drizzle, rain, unfriendly faces, being exposed to hell on Earth, that I knew that I needed to get the out of there. That's why I lived in 6 countries before moving to Florida: always looking for the perfect place to live my life. On a planet of 6,800,000,000 people, it's much easier to find a spouse than the perfect place to live with weather that no money in the World can buy. Only after I found paradise on Earth, I met my wife and since then I have found heaven on Earth!

The same with a hungry child in Dafur who cannot possibly imagine sitting on a table full of the most delicious foods every day, the majority of humans on this planet cannot possibly imagine what it's like to live here, thankfully.

[Max1gk 68]

Took me quite some time to adjust, like 5 minutes . . .