Supporting Fiancee'

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I support my fiance with Aunt Jemima pancake mix and maple syrup. I got her addicted to that stuff when I brought it over on my visit. She doesn't ask for money, but asks for pancake mix. LOL

At $50 per gallon for Maple Syrup, she could be a scammer! That is if you are providing real Vermont Maple Syrup (and who wouldn't?) Our family loves it and once I convinced the MIL it was not a chemical concoction, she started drinking a small glass of it every day. "Good for the stomach"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Again, I do appreciate the words of advice. I've spent most of my time lately thinking about this, and still I don't know for certain that she's a scammer. It is possible? Sure, but there's also a chance she's not. We've been communicating since Oct, she never once asked me for money, it was my offer. That's the truth. If that was a mistake, and now I think it was, then shame on me, and that's because it gives me reason to believe a scam is a possible scenario. Had I never offered and sent money, I would not have the insecure feeling of this possiblity. And also, I wasn't sending money steadily until after she accepted the ring and proposal.

It was not my intention to find a woman so young, quite the opposite. I was looking in the range of 30-40 from the beginning, and she just wrote and we started talking. I actually kept her at arms length for a while because i felt the age was too young. After talking by skype frequently and emailing daily, I found the age difference disappeared. After spending time with her, I felt we connected very well together. I saw right away, she wanted a man to take care of her, but it that really so wrong? She's struggled through her life and so she was looking to not struggle. If you saw a photo of us, or we walked past you, I don't think the age difference would stand out that much. Of course there's a difference, but I'm a somewhat young looking guy and she has an older look to her. In some ways, her maturity seems to match or exceed mine. The biggest difference is I'm skeptical from experience, and she doesn't understand it.

I can see her photos and I see the vacations she's been on and they were all before we started, so I know there's no one else.

I know everyone has an opinion, and I know that ultimately, I'll have to decide what to do. However, I genuinely do appreciate the words of wisdom. I realize love can be blind too.

My plan is to talk with her and stop the payments. We'll see how she reacts. My decision may be an easy one, or I may find out she's for real.

Stop the payments.

Scammers work a lot of men at once, and wait for them to make the offers for just this reason. They are prfessionals, it is how they make their living and it behooves them to keep you on the hook as long as possible. Forget all the rest, after you spent all this time and money to visit her and pay for her trip she brings her computer to talk to other men? Seriously? I mean I know why SHE does it (she can;t break communications with them for several days and risk losing THEIR money) but why do YOU put up with it?

You are free to continue this as long as you want, and then you will end it and go on to someone else. You decide when.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well... hmmm, man. It's been a long time since I got "took," and fortunately it was cheap and undamaging on the grand spectrum of same, but how the dickens can anyone spend so much time (and be physical) with anyone, no matter how "hot," who obviously has disrespect and disregard for whom they're with?

In my later single years, I'd cancel dates or flatly refuse to go on them if my bullshat-detector went off, si man. I even walked out of my last one -- with pocketbook and self-respect intact, si man.

Edited to add: OP, thanks for your frank report (even though your name is Steve, not Frank), and congratulations on learning and recognizing the truth now, si man. Repeat aloud to yourself until you're firmly convinced of it: "Oh, well... who's next?"

I have to agree with you there TBone. Though I was smitten by the hot-chick bug for a brief time and really did not care because I was gettin' some from the hottest chicks on earth, after a while, it was ..."Where is this going?" "Is this what I am looking for long term?" and it really wasn't. Though I had convinced myself I did want a Ukrainian wife I also found that I did not want it to be a very much younger Ukrainian wife. I had an excellent realtionship/friendship with a very attractive Ukrainian woman in her mid-40s that I met the first day I was there by chance (she lived in my building) but because she was truly a religious person, well, I just couldn't live with her long term. Our "dates" were more like a couple friends going out and I dated other women at the same time and she knew it. We were, really, just friends.

I knew a lot of the young ones were exchanging what they had that I wanted for what I had that they wanted. Fair trade. So what? We were all over 18. No one got injured.

If a Ukrainian woman is sincere and wants to marry you, she will do anything she can for you. She is not going to ignore you or act like you are annoying her. She is not going to check her facebook (Kontakt) or whatever when she is with you, she will not even bring her computer. They want you to be "their man", they want to respect you you (they need this even more than "loving you") and if they respect you they will not treat you this way.

[Captain Hammer 113]

Nope, no chance, run away!!

Ah dang, that's too bad. But yes...time to move on.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

If I put an entire album of myself on facebook of me on vacation in a bikini, people would think it was weird.

I wouldn't. Link me when you get them posted.

I support my fiance with Aunt Jemima pancake mix and maple syrup. I got her addicted to that stuff when I brought it over on my visit. She doesn't ask for money, but asks for pancake mix. LOL

Maple syrup is like gold over there. I never bring less than 10-12 bottles of that stuff when I go to Minsk.

There are many very nice and very real women in the FSU; you just need to rethink your master plan, tighten up your search criteria and move forward.

I'd suggest you limit the age to no younger than 32 older than 22.......

Fix0rd

http://www.gallaudet.edu/ukraine.xml#DOU <--- Find one here between the ages of 18 - 22. You never have to worry about her yelling at you. It's that much closer to having the ultimate wife. Seriously if I was to do it all over again...I would look into that link first.

Edited July 5, 2011 by Why_Me

[TBoneTX 45,155]

I would look into that link first.

Good grief... but I hear you, see man.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Good grief... but I hear you, see man.

Laugh if you want but I'm dead serious. If it doesn't work out with me and the wifey...which I'm sure it will....but just in case that's my back up plan. I have a list of all the deaf schools in the RUB country's including Moldova. An 18 - 22 year old blonde hottie RUB chick with the body of a gymnast... yet can't talk. It's all about planning ahead.

Edited July 5, 2011 by Why_Me

[TBoneTX 45,155]

Can they read your lips when you speak English, huh man?

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Can they read your lips when you speak English, huh man?

As long at they understand "get me another beer please"...it's all good. It's not about them understanding how to lip read English so much as it is that they can't speak.

[TBoneTX 45,155]

As long at they understand "get me another beer please"...it's all good. It's not about them understanding how to lip read English so much as it is that they can't speak.

Why, then, would one even need to say "please," man?

[K & S 0]

Stop the payments.

Scammers work a lot of men at once, and wait for them to make the offers for just this reason. They are prfessionals, it is how they make their living and it behooves them to keep you on the hook as long as possible. Forget all the rest, after you spent all this time and money to visit her and pay for her trip she brings her computer to talk to other men? Seriously? I mean I know why SHE does it (she can;t break communications with them for several days and risk losing THEIR money) but why do YOU put up with it?

You are free to continue this as long as you want, and then you will end it and go on to someone else. You decide when.

She didn't bring her laptop. She used mine, and she didn't write anyone from her facebook, but she did check her email. Is that abnormal?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

She didn't bring her laptop. She used mine, and she didn't write anyone from her facebook, but she did check her email. Is that abnormal?

To my way of thinking, yes. Alla had a job working for international businesses as an interpreter/represetative and when we were together when I visited she never touched a computer. On one visit there, she had to go see one client, I went with her and waited in the outer office while she had a brief meeting, other than that, when we were together, that was it, the only people she talked to on the phone were the boys or her mother.

She had to check up on her email and keep in contact because she is getting money from those other guys and doesn't want any questions as to why she disappeared for a few days. I will bet you none of the emails she wrote said "I am in Mexico with my fiance"

[K & S 0]

OK, but on her facebook page, she wrote "Estoy en Mexico"

You seem to be pretty sure about this, but I'm not.

Would she post that if she was hiding something? I think some are very close minded in their thinking here.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I wouldn't. Link me when you get them posted.

Maple syrup is like gold over there. I never bring less than 10-12 bottles of that stuff when I go to Minsk.

Fix0rd

http://www.gallaudet.edu/ukraine.xml#DOU <--- Find one here between the ages of 18 - 22. You never have to worry about her yelling at you. It's that much closer to having the ultimate wife. Seriously if I was to do it all over again...I would look into that link first.

The only thing I would want from an inexperienced 22 year old is her mother's phone number.

OK, but on her facebook page, she wrote "Estoy en Mexico"

You seem to be pretty sure about this, but I'm not.

Would she post that if she was hiding something? I think some are very close minded in their thinking here.

Ok then. Good luck.

[Captain Hammer 113]

OK, but on her facebook page, she wrote "Estoy en Mexico"

You seem to be pretty sure about this, but I'm not.

Would she post that if she was hiding something? I think some are very close minded in their thinking here.

I think you need to step back and think about this objectively. If you have a good friend you can sit down over beers with, get their opinion. Seems to me you are rationalizing. Understandable since you've put so much time, money, and emotion in, but I get the impression you're looking for somebody to enable that. If you've already decided to keep moving ahead with this, then you really don't need opinions here anyway. Sorry, I know that sounds mean-spirited, it's not meant to be. I too wish you luck and happiness!