Supporting Fiancee'

[SMR 368]

As far as setting the wrong standard, I suppose that all depends on what standard you want to set. My wife is a stay at home mom and I had no problem supporting her fully before or after we got married. On the other hand, I didn't meet her online and spent quite a bit of time with her in person so there never was a trust issue.

[AmyWrites 593]

#######! who cares why she's not working. Thats their business. The OP may be sitting on easy street and could care less if she ever has a job. My wife works, but I want her to have a little more. I don't have to get adjusted to her way of life, but she has to get adjusted to mine.

No one cares; I just wrote that because it's a question they need to discuss as a couple. Whether we want to admit it or not, finances and financial contributions are a huge part of a marriage and can make it or break it. It's better they have their financial plans as clear as possible before getting married, is all.

Hopefully there is no reason to be worried and we're just being cynical.

Edited June 21, 2011 by AmyWrites

[slim 1,525]

I send my fiancee' money every week by Western Union. She is currently not working. I'm wondering if that helps, hurts or has no bearing in the approval process.

Are you a troll?

I'm asking because you basically popped on here out of nowhere waving your big RED FLAG under the guise of needing opinions. I'll give you my opinion - technically, no it doesn't have any bearing whatsoever on the approval process. Personally, if a dude was going to send me money for sitting at home doing nothing I'd marry him too. Or, I'd at least let him pay me during the process and then "lose interest" once my visa was granted.

Good luck!

Sorry to be the pessimist and the paranoid one, but I wouldn't send her money so often. Why is she not working? Has she been out of work for a long time? Is she able to work? If so, she should. A good fiance won't want to be a financial burden to their partners.

I apologize if I crossed any lines, but to me this has a larger effect on your future relationship rather than the approval process.

I was getting ready to respond to this....

I may be starting to sound like Slim here, but be forewarned: if you set this standard of supporting her completely, I hope you're prepared for her wanting this kind of treatment to continue when she is in the States. If that's what you're looking for, then great. If you're thinking that you'll support here while she is there and then she'll work when she's in the US, well... good luck?

.... when I saw this.

Well said, eekee. If only my wife understood me so well after five years.

#######! who cares why she's not working. Thats their business. The OP may be sitting on easy street and could care less if she ever has a job. My wife works, but I want her to have a little more. I don't have to get adjusted to her way of life, but she has to get adjusted to mine.

She didn't reply in that manner because she thought it was her business she replied in that manner because there've been plenty of suckers petitioners who've supported their beneficiary entirely throughout the VJ process - often to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars - only to have the beneficiary lose interest or "change their mind" once the interview time rolls around. Typically we see a, "well, she had a change of heart.. and I'm going to start over." message right before the "She was a scammer!" message and the OP disappearing.

Nothing personal in her post. Just statistical analysis of the history posted here on VJ.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

Sorry to be the pessimist and the paranoid one, but I wouldn't send her money so often. Why is she not working? Has she been out of work for a long time? Is she able to work? If so, she should. A good fiance won't want to be a financial burden to their partners.

I apologize if I crossed any lines, but to me this has a larger effect on your future relationship rather than the approval process.

I agree. If your fiancee (man or woman) needs your financial support during the petition process and does not work, I would seriously examine the reasons for this. This could be a foreshadowing of things to come once she gets to the US. Maybe she/he thinks that she hit the jackpot and won't have to work ever again.

[K & S 0]

ha! forgive me for not jumping back in sooner, I work construction, so I'm out all day working. I found the answers interesting and now some of you have me thinking. My and my fiancee' have already met twice since January, and are meeting again this Friday. She isn't working now because she told me there is no work in her city, and the jobs that are available don't pay very well. I suppose she could string me along to the interview, and then disappear, but I honestly don't see that happening. I think all the time that it's strange for her not to work, but I trust her and want to believe her. I was just wondering if my situation is common or if sending money every week or so is not the norm. And of course I was thinking if this would come up in the interview.

I make a descent living but my fiancee has expressed she plans to work here, and I think it would be good for her to get out of the house and not sit home watching Oprah all day anyway. Thanks for all your help and advise

[baron555 934]

Why send every week? Why not once a month?

You will still need to give more info on your relationship and it's history for us to weigh on on that...

I'd say some of us have sent regular monies but most have not. What kind of education and work dies she have and did do? What is her age?

Does she live alone or with family?

[K & S 0]

I suppose I could send every month, or bi-weekly even. Her education is a university degree, she doesn't have much work experience. She lives by herself and has been on her own since she was 15. She's now 25. The last job she has was a job that was paid off the books, but for very little pay, an office bookeeping position. Maybe I'm naive, but she tells me women make very poor wages in Ukraine. She also tells me most women with boyfriends/fiancees there are financially supported by them. I have no idea if this is true. I will say, that I am a bit skeptical by nature, but I don't believe I'm being deceived about our plans to marry.

The insight and experience from this site and forums are fantastic.

[baron555 934]

And....your age?

How did you meet?

How long corresponding then first trip?

How did she pay yo live alone when she was 15?

[K & S 0]

We met online, emailed and spoke by skype for 3 months, then met for a week in Kiev. I'm 46. I know the age difference will raise eyebrows, but when we're together, it doesn't seem odd.

[K & S 0]

She said she had help from her parent and boyfriends. I'm wondering how much an educated woman can make on average/month there. Does anyone know?

[Lena and Igor 5]

She said she had help from her parent and boyfriends. I'm wondering how much an educated woman can make on average/month there. Does anyone know?

My SO has 3 jobs, phys ed teacher full time @ 200 USD per month, 3 nights a week teaching aerobics @ 130 USD a month and as a swimming instructor on Saturdays @ 75 USD per month. Only enough to sustain a living.

She said she had help from her parent and boyfriends. I'm wondering how much an educated woman can make on average/month there. Does anyone know?

My SO has 3 jobs, phys ed teacher full time @ 150 USD per month, 3 nights a week teaching aerobics @ 100 USD a month and as a swimming instructor on Saturdays @ 75 USD per month. Only enough to sustain a living.

[SMR 368]

She said she had help from her parent and boyfriends. I'm wondering how much an educated woman can make on average/month there. Does anyone know?

In RUB countries women do make less and if she is not in a big city she will make still less. I would believe her if she claimed she could only pull in a couple hundred dollars a month if she lives in a small city/village, isn't particularly well connected, doesn't own any valuable property, and doesn't have any extraordinary skills. Depending on the local economy, it may be less. If she lives in a big city, it should be closer to $500.

I have never been to Ukraine, but, for comparison, there are people in eastern Siberia who are glad to pull in $200 a month. In Moscow, $500 is sort of a minimum for an entry level job. An experienced professional in Moscow could be making $1000 a month. More than that is doing well.

[baron555 934]

But they don't need that much money to survive there.

Looking at the situation and the age difference, what would she say or do if you stopped the payments?

Most nonscamming fiance's would not want help, at least that's my experinence. But Aldo I've only dealt with 30-40 yr types and not mid 20s; it's a huge difference, based mostly on historical factors in their early lives or not.

Be very cateful, you may be just a sugar daddy to her.

[K & S 0]

But they don't need that much money to survive there.

Looking at the situation and the age difference, what would she say or do if you stopped the payments?

Most nonscamming fiance's would not want help, at least that's my experinence. But Aldo I've only dealt with 30-40 yr types and not mid 20s; it's a huge difference, based mostly on historical factors in their early lives or not.

Be very cateful, you may be just a sugar daddy to her.

[K & S 0]

I guess the only thing I can say to that is I really don't think she's scamming me, I've spent 2 seperate weeks together, talk often on skype and email daily and you can tell if someone loves you, or is using you. I think if anything, she believes that a man is supposed to support his woman financially. I'm fortunate that I can do it, but time will tell I guess. I have had to stop sending money a few times when I was unable too and she was fine with it. I'd feel better if she did work and I could help her out with some money.

My SO has 3 jobs, phys ed teacher full time @ 200 USD per month, 3 nights a week teaching aerobics @ 130 USD a month and as a swimming instructor on Saturdays @ 75 USD per month. Only enough to sustain a living.

My SO has 3 jobs, phys ed teacher full time @ 150 USD per month, 3 nights a week teaching aerobics @ 100 USD a month and as a swimming instructor on Saturdays @ 75 USD per month. Only enough to sustain a living.

Now that's a hard working woman! Congrats on your approval.