Spouse and I are not living together

[Rhenajones 0]

Seems like you're not sharing the details completely with us.. If you want good advise, you absolutely need to be completely forthcomming..

First off, we did not file for AOS until now because we didn't know what to do. I was 19 yrs old (he's 18) when we got married and we're too naive and mentally unprepared for big steps, like filing for AOS. So his parents sheltered us for that 5 years, then I moved out before 2010 ended because of the situation. I was promoted to a better full time job last year and saved up enough to pay for the AOS (I-485/765/130), not to mention that I wanted to file affidavit of support without a co-sponsor. Also, my parents live outside the U.S. and they're financially dependent to me (they're retired), and my mother felt so ill that I had to visit her in 2009.

Edited June 19, 2011 by Rhenajones

[kennym 275]

oohhh.. Slowly the details aare coming out..

Edited June 19, 2011 by kennym

[kennym 275]

Listen Rhenajones...

Lotsa things don't add up..

15 miles/15 minutes apart, doesnt provide a good enough reason to live apart.. unless the marriage in on the rocks.. Stuff like that happens.. It seems additionally troubling whe you add up that he arrived in the USA and moved in with his parents.. And you guys continue to live apart.. This just seems odd to us, and will certainly seem odd to the USCIS..

It's understandable that You're Status is at stake, but it seems more important that you're relationhip is strugling.. YOu need to work on that. 27 days is not much time to fix all the things that are outta whack here..

My suggestion is you stop looking at how to convince the USCIS that things are normal, when it's obvious that it isn't to many reading this tread much less the USCIS interviewer. You should be honest with yourself about the reasons you brought your partner to the USA and if it's genuine, then you should be considering how to fix your relationship, or simply decide the problems are not fixable, and consider having you spouse AOS on his own and show proof that he entered in the USA and into the relationship in good faith..

If this seems suspicious to us, imagine how it's going to seem to the person at the interview.. The whole process is designed to weed out scams and that's why we have to continuously show that our relationships are genuine.. If the relationship is not genuine, it will be dificult to prove it is.. That's the reason for the AOS Process...

Good Luck

Kenny

[Rhenajones 0]

Listen Rhenajones...

Lotsa things don't add up..

15 miles/15 minutes apart, doesnt provide a good enough reason to live apart.. unless the marriage in on the rocks.. Stuff like that happens.. It seems additionally troubling whe you add up that he arrived in the USA and moved in with his parents.. And you guys continue to live apart.. This just seems odd to us, and will certainly seem odd to the USCIS..

It's understandable that You're Status is at stake, but it seems more important that you're relationhip is strugling.. YOu need to work on that. 27 days is not much time to fix all the things that are outta whack here..

My suggestion is you stop looking at how to convince the USCIS that things are normal, when it's obvious that it isn't to many reading this tread much less the USCIS interviewer. You should be honest with yourself about the reasons you brought your partner to the USA and if it's genuine, then you should be considering how to fix your relationship, or simply decide the problems are not fixable, and consider having you spouse AOS on his own and show proof that he entered in the USA and into the relationship in good faith..

If this seems suspicious to us, imagine how it's going to seem to the person at the interview.. The whole process is designed to weed out scams and that's why we have to continuously show that our relationships are genuine.. If the relationship is not genuine, it will be dificult to prove it is.. That's the reason for the AOS Process...

Good Luck

Kenny

Again, I moved out because his parents, not him, are causing stress. I could've chosen to live farther away, but I want to be close to him. We have strong proof of our relationship - joint bank and credit accounts, pictures of us together, everything you can imagine from a 5-year marriage. Also, he has been out of status for years now, and does not want to work without authorization, we know that it will only make things worse. Really, everything can be blamed to his parents, they neglected his immigration status because they're worried of their own. Out of concern for him and our desire to have a better future together, I'm looking to find the best way to resolve this.

[souleymon 27]

Listen Rhenajones...

Lotsa things don't add up..

15 miles/15 minutes apart, doesnt provide a good enough reason to live apart.. unless the marriage in on the rocks.. Stuff like that happens.. It seems additionally troubling whe you add up that he arrived in the USA and moved in with his parents.. And you guys continue to live apart.. This just seems odd to us, and will certainly seem odd to the USCIS..

It's understandable that You're Status is at stake, but it seems more important that you're relationhip is strugling.. YOu need to work on that. 27 days is not much time to fix all the things that are outta whack here..

My suggestion is you stop looking at how to convince the USCIS that things are normal, when it's obvious that it isn't to many reading this tread much less the USCIS interviewer. You should be honest with yourself about the reasons you brought your partner to the USA and if it's genuine, then you should be considering how to fix your relationship, or simply decide the problems are not fixable, and consider having you spouse AOS on his own and show proof that he entered in the USA and into the relationship in good faith..

If this seems suspicious to us, imagine how it's going to seem to the person at the interview.. The whole process is designed to weed out scams and that's why we have to continuously show that our relationships are genuine.. If the relationship is not genuine, it will be dificult to prove it is.. That's the reason for the AOS Process...

Good Luck

Kenny

I totally Agree with Kenny...Since you know the source of your shaky marriage..then try sort things out to normal.You husband should be staying with you and not with his parents .You are both Matured to be independent as couples

[Moomin 292]

Again, I moved out because his parents, not him, are causing stress. I could've chosen to live farther away, but I want to be close to him. We have strong proof of our relationship - joint bank and credit accounts, pictures of us together, everything you can imagine from a 5-year marriage. Also, he has been out of status for years now, and does not want to work without authorization, we know that it will only make things worse. Really, everything can be blamed to his parents, they neglected his immigration status because they're worried of their own. Out of concern for him and our desire to have a better future together, I'm looking to find the best way to resolve this.

You leave me wondering why your husband has not moved with you. To me it seems quite obvious for him to do what it takes to be by your side unless his parents need some assistance/care. If that's not the case, USCIS will probably wonder the same. Especially since you mention his parents refusal to help him. It seems to raise more questions than answering them when you're still visiting him and not getting away from the cause of your stress which was your reason for moving in the first place.

Edited June 19, 2011 by moomin

[NY_BX 397]

Again, I moved out because his parents, not him, are causing stress. I could've chosen to live farther away, but I want to be close to him. We have strong proof of our relationship - joint bank and credit accounts, pictures of us together, everything you can imagine from a 5-year marriage. Also, he has been out of status for years now, and does not want to work without authorization, we know that it will only make things worse. Really, everything can be blamed to his parents, they neglected his immigration status because they're worried of their own. Out of concern for him and our desire to have a better future together, I'm looking to find the best way to resolve this.

I'm with the rest of the members: the best way to resolve this is the obvious... he moves in with you. He is your husband. I'm with the rest... I don't get it.

[Rhenajones 0]

You leave me wondering why your husband has not moved with you. To me it seems quite obvious for him to do what it takes to be by your side unless his parents need some assistance/care. If that's not the case, USCIS will probably wonder the same. Especially since you mention his parents refusal to help him. It seems to raise more questions than answering them when you're still visiting him and not getting away from the cause of your stress which was your reason for moving in the first place.

I only visit his place to pick him up and spend time together. His parents don't need assistance, but he looks out for his brother (whom may I add is a U.S. citizen).

If possible, I'm looking to reschedule the AOS interview, or withdraw it. This could also mean his deportation, which I don't want to happen. We'll arrange to live together and change our addresses to mine.

Edited June 19, 2011 by Rhenajones

[kennym 275]

I only visit his place to pick him up and spend time together. His parents don't need assistance, but he looks out for his brother (whom may I add is a U.S. citizen).

If possible, I'm looking to reschedule the AOS interview, or withdraw it. This could also mean his deportation, which I don't want to happen. We'll arrange to live together and change our addresses to mine.

You are needing relationship advise here, not immigration advise..

Sooo... if it was me, being the USC, I would ask my spouse, "Do you want to be with me? If so, then be with me... If not, I am not sure how much energy, time, or stress I can continue to devote to making this relationship appear to be genuine"

Simply that simple.. The concequences of not having a genuine relationship is likely a denial of the AOS.. Then, likely steps to deportation.. In addition, you don't want USCIS to feel you're part of the deception.. That could have dire concequences on your future, and likely impact you if you ever meet someone again and want to petition for them.. If your feelings are genuine and not his, then this battle is impossible to win on your own without the participation of your spouse..

You have a short time to make things happen, I wouldn't delay the conversation and I wouldn't recommend trying to carry the whole weight of trying to prove a relationship is genuine if your spouse isnt willing to contribute to this relationship..

I am someone who's been in a one-way relationship in the past, and I know how hard it can be to continuiosly compensate for the lack from your partner.. Its draining and completely consumes you... Don't spend any more time than needed to try to fix this if it's not worth fixing..

That's just my opinion..

[Rhenajones 0]

You are needing relationship advise here, not immigration advise..

Sooo... if it was me, being the USC, I would ask my spouse, "Do you want to be with me? If so, then be with me... If not, I am not sure how much energy, time, or stress I can continue to devote to making this relationship appear to be genuine"

Simply that simple.. The concequences of not having a genuine relationship is likely a denial of the AOS.. Then, likely steps to deportation.. In addition, you don't want USCIS to feel you're part of the deception.. That could have dire concequences on your future, and likely impact you if you ever meet someone again and want to petition for them.. If your feelings are genuine and not his, then this battle is impossible to win on your own without the participation of your spouse..

You have a short time to make things happen, I wouldn't delay the conversation and I wouldn't recommend trying to carry the whole weight of trying to prove a relationship is genuine if your spouse isnt willing to contribute to this relationship..

I am someone who's been in a one-way relationship in the past, and I know how hard it can be to continuiosly compensate for the lack from your partner.. Its draining and completely consumes you... Don't spend any more time than needed to try to fix this if it's not worth fixing..

That's just my opinion..

He is fine with moving to my address. Yes, he loves me too, and he laid out the plans to celebrate our 5th anniversary recently. The problem is he has a deep connection with his younger brother too, and nobody can take care of the little one while his parents are at work. We'll suggest a baby sitter for his younger brother to his parents and hope for the best.

There really is nothing wrong with our relationship, and the biggest thorn in our side is the immigration procedure.

Edited June 19, 2011 by Rhenajones

[Moomin 292]

I only visit his place to pick him up and spend time together. His parents don't need assistance, but he looks out for his brother (whom may I add is a U.S. citizen).

If possible, I'm looking to reschedule the AOS interview, or withdraw it. This could also mean his deportation, which I don't want to happen. We'll arrange to live together and change our addresses to mine.

The problem is not me taking your word for the situation, and as much as I'd like to believe you, it's in the hands of the interviewer. They are allowed to question why you haven't lived together and why your husband hasn't followed you. My main concern is that you can't come up with proof that your husband needs to take care of his brother more than he needs to take care of his marriage. The same goes for you. This is what the AOS is all about - not just proving a relation, but a genuine ongoing relationship/marriage.

[KayDeeCee 4,896]

He is fine with moving to my address. Yes, he loves me too, and he laid out the plans to celebrate our 5th anniversary recently. The problem is he has a deep connection with his younger brother too, and nobody can take care of the little one while his parents are at work. We'll suggest a baby sitter for his younger brother to his parents and hope for the best.

There really is nothing wrong with our relationship, and the biggest thorn in our side is the immigration procedure.

Have him move in with you, and then have his brother come there when he needs to be taken care of. He could also just go back to his parent's house during the times he needs to care for his brother. He doesn't need to live there with them full time to babysit while they are at work.

[kennym 275]

He is fine with moving to my address. Yes, he loves me too, and he laid out the plans to celebrate our 5th anniversary recently. The problem is he has a deep connection with his younger brother too, and nobody can take care of the little one while his parents are at work. We'll suggest a baby sitter for his younger brother to his parents and hope for the best.

There really is nothing wrong with our relationship, and the biggest thorn in our side is the immigration procedure.

Great!

But tell your husband, the reponsibility of having a beleiveable relationship is both yours and his.. If he only lives 15 minutes away, it would seem rather minor problem in most situations to go over and help with his brother or have the parents work something out with your husband like transportation or bus fare, or train, or taxi or gas money or whatever.. This simply does not equate to living apart..

You also said that it was the parents fault yo delayed AOS.. That simply is not beleiveable.. "Responsibitity" is yours and his, not his parents...

If you cant work out a way to manage to take care of this relatively minor issue, then the USCIS is not going to beleive the reason he lives 15 minutes away from his wife, is to take care of his brother.. That is dificult for us to beleive and it's also leads us to feel the story isn't adding up..

Keep in mind, your first reason you told all of us, was to be closer to "YOUR" work...

You have got to get your story straight.. If you're going to make things up as you go, it's never going to sound beleiveable...

[Rhenajones 0]

Great!

But tell your husband, the reponsibility of having a beleiveable relationship is both yours and his.. If he only lives 15 minutes away, it would seem rather minor problem in most situations to go over and help with his brother or have the parents work something out with your husband like transportation or bus fare, or train, or taxi or gas money or whatever.. This simply does not equate to living apart..

You also said that it was the parents fault yo delayed AOS.. That simply is not beleiveable.. "Responsibitity" is yours and his, not his parents...

If you cant work out a way to manage to take care of this relatively minor issue, then the USCIS is not going to beleive the reason he lives 15 minutes away from his wife, is to take care of his brother.. That is dificult for us to beleive and it's also leads us to feel the story isn't adding up..

Keep in mind, your first reason you told all of us, was to be closer to "YOUR" work...

You have got to get your story straight.. If you're going to make things up as you go, it's never going to sound beleiveable...

It was both a convenience in my work location and problems with his parents in that address. I'm sorry for not making this clear from the start.

As you said, living 15 minutes apart is hardly a problem, which also led us to procrastinate and leave things out as it is.

[Rhenajones 0]

In addition, my husband first and foremost likes to see success to his relatives, education-wise. He and his mother helped me pass the nursing course in 2009. Now he is doing the same with his brother. He turned his brother from a C/B student to an A student this year. So, he rationalized not moving with me because of this, and it's not like I'm hurt by this decision because we still go out frequently.