any Input on my situation...

[long&kieu 1]

Hey you guys,

I need some advice, and here's my background story. Let me know if you need more detail. It's not your typical marriage, for Americans at least.

I go to Vietnam every several years and one year [2008] I met a neighbor of the family but never thought anything of it.

My uncle always told me when I was ready to marry, he would find me a wife. And since I wanted to go with tradition, I told him to find me one like he did for his son and my grandpa did for him.

Fast foward two years, he found me someone, the neighbor I met before, Kieu. So in the summer of 2010, we started exchanging emails. I jokingly told her that I couldn't speak Vietnamese, so I couldn't make phone calls. [i can speak but not write.] So each email, she would write in Viet and I responded in English and we would roughly translate each other's messages through Google translate.

Since talking to her, I hadn't had time, nor the money to visit her. I've been busy with work and school, that I finally found an opening in the summer of 2011. So I decided to visit and marry her at the same time. It was a traditional marriage where my mom would take care of the jewelery and her family took care of the ceremony and reception since I had no official home there.

Now that I've returned, I started learning more about the forms and paperwork to bring her here. [something I should have done ahead of time.]

My concern is more or less the evidence to show that this is a truthful marriage. I have pictures of the wedding and hanging out, but only of this recent trip, nothing before. I also have emails from when we were getting to know each other, but never chatted or made phone calls. We are on Skype now, but after I left her a laptop to use, so I don't believe that counts as evidence since its after the wedding. I haven't added her to my insurance because it wouldn't help her, and I don't really know when she will come over to start having that deducted from my paycheck. I have no reciepts since most gifts I bought were at Vietnam and most jewelery and such for the wedding was provided by my mom.

Sorry for the long read, but I'm not sure what else to provide to prove this wedding is real. Sometimes I feel that if people are super prepared, its like they are preparing to get away with their fake marriages or what not. Kevin on the forums have suggested Affadavits which I will consider, but when will that be needed?? Before the paperwork goes to the NVC or is it too late??

Thanks for any suggestions and sorry about the long read.

Thanks, Long.

[Dan Nguyen 3]

Hey you guys,

I need some advice, and here's my background story. Let me know if you need more detail. It's not your typical marriage, for Americans at least.

I go to Vietnam every several years and one year [2008] I met a neighbor of the family but never thought anything of it.

My uncle always told me when I was ready to marry, he would find me a wife. And since I wanted to go with tradition, I told him to find me one like he did for his son and my grandpa did for him.

Fast foward two years, he found me someone, the neighbor I met before, Kieu. So in the summer of 2010, we started exchanging emails. I jokingly told her that I couldn't speak Vietnamese, so I couldn't make phone calls. [i can speak but not write.] So each email, she would write in Viet and I responded in English and we would roughly translate each other's messages through Google translate.

Since talking to her, I hadn't had time, nor the money to visit her. I've been busy with work and school, that I finally found an opening in the summer of 2011. So I decided to visit and marry her at the same time. It was a traditional marriage where my mom would take care of the jewelery and her family took care of the ceremony and reception since I had no official home there.

Now that I've returned, I started learning more about the forms and paperwork to bring her here. [something I should have done ahead of time.]

My concern is more or less the evidence to show that this is a truthful marriage. I have pictures of the wedding and hanging out, but only of this recent trip, nothing before. I also have emails from when we were getting to know each other, but never chatted or made phone calls. We are on Skype now, but after I left her a laptop to use, so I don't believe that counts as evidence since its after the wedding. I haven't added her to my insurance because it wouldn't help her, and I don't really know when she will come over to start having that deducted from my paycheck. I have no reciepts since most gifts I bought were at Vietnam and most jewelery and such for the wedding was provided by my mom.

Sorry for the long read, but I'm not sure what else to provide to prove this wedding is real. Sometimes I feel that if people are super prepared, its like they are preparing to get away with their fake marriages or what not. Kevin on the forums have suggested Affadavits which I will consider, but when will that be needed?? Before the paperwork goes to the NVC or is it too late??

Thanks for any suggestions and sorry about the long read.

Thanks, Long.

Might sound a little fishy to the consular officer that the person you met in 2008 is also the same person your uncle "found" for you. Is it coincidence?

Doesn't sound like you know each other that well to get marry.

I would visit her one more time before filing your petition. An engagement ceremony wouldn't hurt either. It's Vietnam custom to have a "Đinh Hôn" before getting marry.

Edited June 17, 2011 by hnguyen3k

[VinceN 25]

Might sound a little fishy to the consular officer that the person you met in 2008 is also the same person your uncle "found" for you. Is it coincidence?

Doesn't sound like you know each other that well to get marry.

I would visit her one more time before filing your petition. An engagement ceremony wouldn't hurt either. It's Vietnam custom to have a "Đinh Hôn" before getting marry.

It's kinda late now, he already got married, but I do agree with the rest of your post.

For evidence, they ask you to categorize evidence prior to marriage, and after marriage separately and it looks like you have little to no evidence prior to marriage. In my opinion, you might have some red flags here. No evidence prior to marriage, marriage on first visit, wife was introduced by your uncle. That might seem very sketchy to the consulate.

[Kevin and 10]

Sorry to tell you, but you're probably going to have a tough time at the Consulate. Too many Red Flags and not enough evidence to over come them.

If you have enough bonafides , affidavits aren't needed. That why we used them and I suggested you use them. All you can do now is keep any and all evidence to present at the interview from the time you got married until the interview.

[khoamythovn 1]

Not to scare you or anything but I want to provide a similar case that could be like yours. One of my relatives did CR1 and only had 1 visit. After the interview they provided a white sheet asking 5 things: timeline, 10 year residency(petitioner/beneficiary), beneficiary relatives in USA, and any evidence to submit on the submission date. I'm just giving you a heads up so you don't end up getting this result.

* Consular officers are not convinced that there is a petitionable relationship between the petitioner and beneficary. Please submit photos and other documentary evidence such as old household registration books, school grade books.etc... which supports the claim of a petitionable relationship. Please label and itemize all materials submitted.

[Cardin 0]

awesome, thanks for the help,

I'm defintely talking to her more now...so I have that evidence, I just thought any evidence after the marriage doesn't matter and it's more important the before stuff

It's more or less coincidence. My uncle chose that girl, and I remember seeing her and said let's go for it...but yeah, with a traditional arranged marriage in Vietnam, you don'ttend to know the person your marry until after the marriage anyway, unless I'm mistaken...

what are the bonafides your speaking of??

He's speaking of bonafides of prior to marriage. What lead you to accepting to marry her. I was just like you. Even though I spoke with my wife on the phone for serveral months. My first actual visit to vietnam after 9 years was the trip that I married my wife too. I'm scared as much as you are. If you wipe all my past trips hell I dont even know my wife. Thats what Vietnamese traditional marriage married is like. I was well prepared before I went to Vietnam to marry my wife though (http://trongnguyen.com - personal site drawing up).

but yes at this point right now your case does sound fishy and has a bunch of red flags. So work hard drafting up evidence.

[quann 26]

not too familiar with the CR-1 process...but the pre-arranged marriage excuse might not fly with the CO anymore, especially if you're from a big city. we're not in 1940 vietnam...and even in the bunkiest of bunk towns it's hardly the custom anymore.

the story how it's a tradition in the family to have pre-arranged marriage is a nice touch tho...you better be super prepared

[quann 26]

Not to scare you or anything but I want to provide a similar case that could be like yours. One of my relatives did CR1 and only had 1 visit. After the interview they provided a white sheet asking 5 things: timeline, 10 year residency(petitioner/beneficiary), beneficiary relatives in USA, and any evidence to submit on the submission date. I'm just giving you a heads up so you don't end up getting this result.

* Consular officers are not convinced that there is a petitionable relationship between the petitioner and beneficary. Please submit photos and other documentary evidence such as old household registration books, school grade books.etc... which supports the claim of a petitionable relationship. Please label and itemize all materials submitted.

this about sums it up. 2 red flags for a fake marriage: a relative of hers in the US propositioned you to marry the girl over, or you and her are related somehow.

it would give your case more credibility if she has no US relatives...and be prepared with both of your household registration booklets, parents' birth certificates to show you guys are not related. would also be nice if you have about 100 emails between summer '10 when you were introduced to when you got married.

even so be ready for some potential processing and delays as they want to drag your marriage out and test its validity. seems like the whole process is rushed. i'd wait 1-2 years before filing, to give the marriage more time, visit her one more time for a few weeks to get to know your her.

[Cardin 0]

not too familiar with the CR-1 process...but the pre-arranged marriage excuse might not fly with the CO anymore, especially if you're from a big city. we're not in 1940 vietnam...and even in the bunkiest of bunk towns it's hardly the custom anymore.

the story how it's a tradition in the family to have pre-arranged marriage is a nice touch tho...you better be super prepared

agree. but if you draft up something thats real to the story yes..There are still arrange marriages all over vietnam wether its to a Viet Kieu or not.....Convincing the consular officer is whats tough. Convincing him/her that your marriage is a real one.

Work on evidence how it lead up to your arrange marriage. Why did you accept the arrange marriage? what lead you to loving this girl after/before the arrange marraige.

[quann 26]

one thing that i don't see get brought up alot but the CO must surely look at is the age factor?

if VK is a 65 year old man and he's petitioning a 22 year old girl, that's gotta be a red flag (nghe`o ma ham) compared to someone in their 40s petitioning a late 30s woman. it also works the other way, like a 24 yr old us-born struggling (financially) college grad being setup with some girl in vietnam.

[long&kieu 1]

Not to scare you or anything but I want to provide a similar case that could be like yours. One of my relatives did CR1 and only had 1 visit. After the interview they provided a white sheet asking 5 things: timeline, 10 year residency(petitioner/beneficiary), beneficiary relatives in USA, and any evidence to submit on the submission date. I'm just giving you a heads up so you don't end up getting this result.

* Consular officers are not convinced that there is a petitionable relationship between the petitioner and beneficary. Please submit photos and other documentary evidence such as old household registration books, school grade books.etc... which supports the claim of a petitionable relationship. Please label and itemize all materials submitted.

So what ended up happening with your relative??

What are household registration books?? Also what would schhol grade books have to do with a marriage?? Just curious...

[long&kieu 1]

this about sums it up. 2 red flags for a fake marriage: a relative of hers in the US propositioned you to marry the girl over, or you and her are related somehow.

it would give your case more credibility if she has no US relatives...and be prepared with both of your household registration booklets, parents' birth certificates to show you guys are not related. would also be nice if you have about 100 emails between summer '10 when you were introduced to when you got married.

even so be ready for some potential processing and delays as they want to drag your marriage out and test its validity. seems like the whole process is rushed. i'd wait 1-2 years before filing, to give the marriage more time, visit her one more time for a few weeks to get to know your her.

I believe she does have relatives in the US, but no where near me...I don't even know them, lol... but yeah, I got a few hundred pages of emails from that time...I did somewhat rush it, but at the same time, Americans tend to rush marriages anyway, lol...I wouldn't have been able to visit for another year or so due to work and prolonging visits and such to gather evidence makes it longer before she will ever be able to come

[Dan_P 5]

So what ended up happening with your relative??

What are household registration books?? Also what would schhol grade books have to do with a marriage?? Just curious...

Household registration book=ho khau

[long&kieu 1]

one thing that i don't see get brought up alot but the CO must surely look at is the age factor?

if VK is a 65 year old man and he's petitioning a 22 year old girl, that's gotta be a red flag (nghe`o ma ham) compared to someone in their 40s petitioning a late 30s woman. it also works the other way, like a 24 yr old us-born struggling (financially) college grad being setup with some girl in vietnam.

hmmm...yeah I'm 26, financially great in my opinion, and shes 20...

[Kevin and 10]

An arranged marriage and getting married on your first visit is enough of an alarm for a CO. Those two Red Flags and lack of evidence will cause a CO to look very closely at your case. Maybe you should think about hiring a lawyer who knows how HCM Consulate works.