Heart sore and Clueless

[heartsoreusa 1]

Hi Kathryn

I go for counselling , he has been with a few times , but it is no use , he just tells lies there as well. And the situation does not change because he does not want it to change , he wants his bread buttered on both sides. Thank you for your kind words , very appreciated !

Since you still love this man and entered the marriage in good faith, do you think this is a situation that might benefit from the two of you receiving some sort of marriage counseling?

Regardless of whether you stay in the marriage or leave it, you sill still need to address the I-751 Removal of Conditions application. You can start collecting the evidence that shows you entered the marriage in good faith and have planned for your new life together (financial records, tax returns, things like that) and be ready to file when the time comes. If you stay together due to counseling, then there won't be a problem. If you do separate and are headed for divorce, then Jim's advice is sound. Only you can know whether there is anything in this relationship that can be salvaged or if it is even worth trying to go down that road or not.

Good luck to you. I am so sorry that things have not turned out as you had hoped and you are having to deal with this heartache.

[heartsoreusa 1]

Hi , thanks , don't know about getting divorced in another State , will have to find out , as for quickie divorces is there such a thing when there will be alimony , assests involved in it ?

Ditto the question about counseling. Heartsore and Clueless, you indicated he lived two lives but no specifics, so it could range from a significant problem to murderous psychomaniac. If a person refuses counseling or refuses to cooperate during counseling then you don't have any option but divorce. If he is amenable maybe you can get divorced in another state. Nevada or Arizona for example. They have quickie divorces.

Thank you , I am trying to sort it and appreciate all the help and advice !

Just because you don't like it, don't mean ya gotta hate on it...

OP, you came to the right place for some solace, info and direction.

Just sort the wheat from the chaff.

Good luck.

[rlogan 2,036]

Hi , thanks , don't know about getting divorced in another State , will have to find out , as for quickie divorces is there such a thing when there will be alimony , assests involved in it ?

Google is your best friend, but yes it is much easier in some states. You need his cooperation though. If it is adversarial, about the only people who come out well are the lawyers.

[heartsoreusa 1]

Thanks , I am discovering the wonders of Google , pity Lawyers are not as cheap as Google is !

Google is your best friend, but yes it is much easier in some states. You need his cooperation though. If it is adversarial, about the only people who come out well are the lawyers.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hi , thanks , don't know about getting divorced in another State , will have to find out , as for quickie divorces is there such a thing when there will be alimony , assests involved in it ?

You haven't been married very long so don't expect much in the way of alimony. The assets split will depend on what state you divorce in.

[FormerlyKnownAs 17]

Just wanted to add to what Vanessa&Tony said... Alimony is unlikely due to the short duration of the marriage. Best case scenario, depending on the state you live in, anything acquired over the course of the marriage could be considered joint property to be split. I would say, though, this short relationship will likely not yield much in the way of property or monies. Caveat here... If you have children with this man, he would have to pay you child support, but it sounds like the children you speak of are from a previous relationship? I'm sorry to read about your situation. Hoping for the best for you.

[Fandango 1,440]

Meh, I dunno as far as alimony....a divorce judge might be sympathetic if there is enough proof of detrimental reliance.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Meh, I dunno as far as alimony....a divorce judge might be sympathetic if there is enough proof of detrimental reliance.

Depends on the state. In some states the judge is constrained by the state's family code. In California, for example, judges have discretion, but they rarely deviate far from the guidelines in the family code. The chances of getting any sort of support order in a marriage of less than two years is practically nil. Between two and five years it's iffy. Between five and ten years it's pretty much automatic, with a duration equal to half the duration of the marriage. After ten years it's usually automatic with no predetermined duration. A huge exception would be if the spouse asking for the support order had become permanently disabled or unemployable during the marriage, in which case they're more or less entitled to support for life.