NOA2. where you go????

[MatthewNCarolina 73]

Darren I've read all of your posts and I rarely post anything but I can't sit back any longer. Obviously you have been extremely hurt in your past relationship, and you are still suffering from the emotional pain you endured. However I think you are directing this pain towards the visa process rather then taking the time to heal your old wounds. Maybe you should take this waiting period and use it to repair yourself, get some therapy to make yourself whole again rather then trying to rush things that can't be rushed. Turn this experience into a positive instead of a negative. It is so much easier to look to another person to make you whole but in reality we must be at peace with ourselves and our pasts in order to succeed at the next relationship. Instead of obsessing on this process and trying to change things that are beyond your scope and power, maybe you should work on dealing with your own personal obstacles so that you can be your best for your fiance when she gets here. I have been through a horrible marriage, 15 years of domestic violence, I've been spit on and thrown out of my home with my 2 small children taking only what I could carry with nowhere to go and no money and suffered enormous emotional damage, trust me I understand the pain and loneliness you have felt. But you know what, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and worked on healing myself when it would have been so much simpler to turn to the first person that showed me some kindness and consumed myself by them. Maybe you have gotten lucky and found your soulmate, maybe she is your reward for living through so much unhappiness, but Darren, you have to have patience, you have to deal with this situation in a level headed manner, and you have to stop thinking you and your fiance are the only ones in this situation. It's hard for all who are waiting, noone understands how hard this is like the people who are trying to support you here, so look inside yourself and get to the heart of your anger and frustration. Use this process to your benefit, you can't control the length of time this process takes but you can control how you choose to utilize the time you spend on this journey. Good luck.

This and ...

I wasn't being rude to you and Lord knows others before me have bent over backwards to try to be as kind and supportive to you as possible but it seems no matter what anyone says you would rather wallow in self pity. Last time I checked everyone here has a fiance in another country, so you're not exactly unique. Everyone here is in love and wants desperately to start their lives with the person with whom they love dearly. Plenty of people are facing hardships and heartache. Just because most people choose to utilize their time productively and handle their heartache in an adult manner doesn't mean you are the only one yearning to be with their fiance. Some/most of us have been in relationships with our loved ones for years, let's face facts it's been 6 months since you met this girl and you're acting like a sniveling spoiled child because you need to have her NOW. Get a grip, get over your tantrums and let's hope the visa comes before your nervous breakdown.

THIS. Enough said. Calm down.

[B_J 2,752]

I really do not care how many people on this board I make mad.

I last saw Jessa on August 2 of last year. You just got back from a visit two weeks ago. My wait for an NOA2 was almost 6 months, MANY others waited, or are waiting, longer. You've waited less than 4 months. People here will be very supportive of you. When you need to vent, when you're angry and frustrated, we'll listen. But there's really no need to say something like what you said there. I understand everything that's bothering you, but there's no reason to take it out on the people here.

Another very important thing. A while back we had a person on here who was very, very frustrated about the process. I liked the guy and understood his frustration. He made a lot of posts like yours. Eventually, he got his NOA2, but his relationship fell apart. I don't know what happened, but I can't help but wonder if his frustration with the process also caused stress in their relationship.

Just be careful, my friend. And remember, we're all on your side.

[B_J 2,752]

I'd also like to point out that your comment 'Letting her serve me, is the highest form of love I can show her.' is seriously disturbing. As a woman myself, I'm thankful for a fiance who shows me much higher forms of love than allowing me to 'serve' him. In fact, I'm not even sure we would consider that a form of love.

We all care deeply about our fiance(e)s, I totally get it. But you need to relax and wait it out like the rest of us. Your time will come.

I'd like to come to Darren's defense on this one. We know there are some guys who go to developing countries to get a bride for all the wrong reasons. Darren is not that guy. I've read many of his posts. It is obvious, he would do anything to make his fiance happy. But I understand what he's saying. He would do anything for her; but he must also let her do things for him. And notice the next sentence where he said that letting her serve him was the hardest thing for him to do. But while he shows his love for her by doing everything he can for her; he must also allow her to show her love for him by doing things for him. And, in some ways, that really is the hardest thing to do.

I hope that made sense.

[gretchen_darren 67]

hehehe..... a "spoiled child"..... maybe I am acting that way...please do not take it that way. I know there are people in long term relationships. I know all of us have fiance's and spouses and children in other countries. Please do not take it like a spoile child or tamtrum act. Just know I am frustrated when one arm of government says one thing, and a nother branch of government contradicts the other branch. I am looking at the spirit of why the immgration plan was created. What it was written for. Then seeing how it is changed to make the whole purpose, the least important purpose. My frustration is for all of us here. Not just me. I see everyone's hurt here. And wish I could make ist so none of us had to wait so long. THIS IS WHERE I AM WORKING TO CHANGE THINGS> I am reading, studying, writing, and learning. everyone wants change. Me, I make the change. I am the one person who IS strong willed, who keeps beating the door. door. But I am also working within the system. I am a countryman. I love my government. How can I make it easier for all of us. If you have read ALL of my posts, you would know I WANT to change the system. I have been talking to my senator on HOW to make the changes. Not just for me, but for ALL of us. my frustration is because of how all of us are being treated. go into a store. take 1% of your customers and put them to the side, and say you will get to them when you need to. How long would those 1% continue tolerating it? Imagine 1% is also rotating, you know you can get away with it since the 1% is rotating and they go away. then have the mail order bride issue, the fruad marriages, etc. the 1% gets a ton of focus, but not for the good. Meanwhile your h1b workers, j-1 workers, student visas, are all ignored. 75% or more of your applications are not dealt with. And you are EVEN getting laws MANDATING you deal with h1b in 8 weeks, BUT leaving K-1 VISAS alone. I am upset BECAUSE OF the laws being passed. And I am trying to find ways to introduce bills to change those directives. IMAGINE the reasons for expedite are not defined in congress. Then on top tof that the person running the department is the person who WAS Governor of your STATE. I will not stop because my visa gets approved. That is just the beginning. I will be going on for years to come. The longer it takes, the stronger MY personal congressional testimony as to the process. When I propose changes through my senator and congressman, I WILL testify in congress and the senate as to WHY I am proposing changes, giving my own story. MY RECORDS AT USCIS WILL BE OPENED AND SUBMITTED IN CONGRESS. I am going to speak on how the family is suffering. How families are left seperated for years due to lengthy processes. How families are left in stressful issues because of the waiting. WE should be able to get approvals quickly. the process wans meant to rejoin family members quickly. But that spirit has been lost.

maybe I want something... but you missed the statement right after ......Letting her serve me is also THE hardest thing I do. The area she lives in is a traditional area and the customs run very deep and very very very old.

I've found a love, that's too sweet to tell

I've found something money can't buy

i've found a faith, that's no wishing well

I've found a dream that's come true.

I have found someone wonderful. when I was with her, we had a great time. When we were at her house, she took a napkin and wiped the sweat off of my face, she did my sandals, she served me food. This is EXPECTED at her house. IMAGINE sitting there and LETTING it happen. I did not want her to wipe my brow, I did not want her to do my sandals, I did not want her to serve me food. I am quite capable my self. However, as a newly engaged couple. She must show how much she loves me to all around. It is a custom in her village. Imagine just trying to not touch food on the table when you want more. Imagine wanting to put sandals on, but you have to wait for her. Imagine wanting to wipe your brow, but not being allowed to. I had to learn something there. I had to learn their customs and not to offend them. Imagine touching her parent's hand to your forehead as well as aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers. When we were by ourselves, she was able to step back from doing those things. We were able to be a normal couple. But I have to learn how SHE loves. What she sees as love and means the most to her. Then find ways to express it to her in a way she understands.

[Anginafrica 12]

I'd like to come to Darren's defense on this one. We know there are some guys who go to developing countries to get a bride for all the wrong reasons. Darren is not that guy. I've read many of his posts. It is obvious, he would do anything to make his fiance happy. But I understand what he's saying. He would do anything for her; but he must also let her do things for him. And notice the next sentence where he said that letting her serve him was the hardest thing for him to do. But while he shows his love for her by doing everything he can for her; he must also allow her to show her love for him by doing things for him. And, in some ways, that really is the hardest thing to do.

I hope that made sense.

It made sense, thanks. Sure, some guys go to developing countries to get a bride for all the wrong reasons, and some may argue that getting engaged on the same day you meet someone would appear this way.

It's difficult to know someone through posts on the internet, so I wouldn't be overly confident. All we can do is express our opinions based on the information provided to us.

We're all going through the same situation and missing our loved ones. I personally have a lot of respect for those who have waited much longer than I, so I will keep my complaints to a minimum.

Edited June 15, 2011 by Anginafrica

[southcalhog 43]

I wasn't being rude to you and Lord knows others before me have bent over backwards to try to be as kind and supportive to you as possible but it seems no matter what anyone says you would rather wallow in self pity. Last time I checked everyone here has a fiance in another country, so you're not exactly unique. Everyone here is in love and wants desperately to start their lives with the person with whom they love dearly. Plenty of people are facing hardships and heartache. Just because most people choose to utilize their time productively and handle their heartache in an adult manner doesn't mean you are the only one yearning to be with their fiance. Some/most of us have been in relationships with our loved ones for years, let's face facts it's been 6 months since you met this girl and you're acting like a sniveling spoiled child because you need to have her NOW. Get a grip, get over your tantrums and let's hope the visa comes before your nervous breakdown.

Darren, First thing you are a cool guy as far as I can see and I dont know you just what you post here.I can tell by your Posts, you a good guy.I look at what you say on here.My Honest opinion is you taking it to the extreme at this point. A lot of members have responded to you and supported you! I think this Thread has been taken to the limit.The more people respond it seems the more you get all worked up and ramble on for lack of a better word.We know you love her and want her here, WE ALL DO! lets just relax, chill a little and go through the process.I hope you, as well as ALL of us get our NOA2 soon! But support is here, we still care about YOU but relax, just relax! It will happen dont ruin your health Stressing!! I wont Post anymore regarding this thread, but again bro we here for YOU!

[B_J 2,752]

Let's end this thread and all go to Walmart.

[southcalhog 43]

Let's end this thread and all go to Walmart.

[Anginafrica 12]

Let's end this thread and all go to Walmart.