Do I have to do this all over again?

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Chauvinistic - 'at times'? LOL! I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. Or perhaps it's a case of finding some courage behind a keyboard for verbosity that would never be in play in their homes IRL. I'm starting to think that may be quite true.

I made no comment about the qualities or virtues of RUB women. I've not met any so I couldn't say with any intelligence whether or not they are cold and unfriendly, or warm and friendly. How they choose to dress - and for what reasons - is also their business.

Still - I think all of this has gotten us away from the original point of the thread, which is that the overall misogynistic tone of the board should not be tolerated, not to mention how it could be very off putting to newcomers. The fact that it remains tolerated really has nothing to do with how either you or I might feel about this subject, that subject, or s*it that went down years ago.

It has everything to do with Ewok and his moderators (and how they want this board to be). The lack of response from Ewok is concerning. If conversations are being had about it offline, I wish we could be told that. As it is, it's starting to seem like it doesn't matter very much.

Not to mention one of the moderators in another thread point-blank refused to say whether sexist and misogynist comments are against TOS and therefore unacceptable on the boards.

Edited June 23, 2011 by fishdude

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Still - I think all of this has gotten us away from the original point of the thread, which is that the overall misogynistic tone of the board should not be tolerated, not to mention how it could be very off putting to newcomers. The fact that it remains tolerated really has nothing to do with how either you or I might feel about this subject, that subject, or s*it that went down years ago.

It has everything to do with Ewok and his moderators (and how they want this board to be). The lack of response from Ewok is concerning. If conversations are being had about it offline, I wish we could be told that. As it is, it's starting to seem like it doesn't matter very much.

Tracy -- you hit the nail on the head here. This is EXACTLY my point. When I started here, I hid in the UK and DCF forums because I thought OT was intimidating. I hardly ever visited outside of my little world, and this did NOT have to do with misogynistic tones, but what seemed to be inscrutable dynamics that I worried I would fall afoul of. I have seen a dramatic increase in bigoted comments against Anglophone women over the past year, and it's only seemed to get worse, rather than better. I've seen no concerted effort to control this, even though those who are offended actually have good cause to be offended. Sometimes it feels like this --

Man: American women aren't REAL women! They suck!

Woman: I'm a real woman and I find that offensive.

Man: Stop being so sensitive.

Replace "American" with "black" and "women/woman" with "people/person" and see how great that sounds. I wish we could just hear if this complaint is making any traction.

I know you guys love your wives and that is GREAT. Men loving their wives, finding them the most beautiful women in the world is fantastic. I have an awesome American boyfriend, amazing American male friends and loving American male relatives. (Even my idiot cousin Bobby.) Can't we all be happy with what we have without saying that what other people have is rubbish? I'm sure all the dudes have something wonderful about them that made their wives want to be with them. Even if we can't see what it is -- often hard when we only know each other as words on a screen -- every one of us on here must have something not only redeeming about them, but truly good. And if the men whom some of us have accused of misogynistic posting could see how much their words make them seem not like "real men" but little, snickering boys, trying to pull the pigtails of the girls in class, they might have some pause.

But probably not.

[Zero Sum 305]

Anyone willing to generalize women or men of any particular country based on their own personal experiences (which in internet though, are probably bogus) are just retards anyway.

[Pooky 3,784]

Are you calling Pooky a noob?

If she is, she'll need to change your diapers.

[Captain Hammer 113]

And if the men whom some of us have accused of misogynistic posting could see how much their words make them seem not like "real men" but little, snickering boys, trying to pull the pigtails of the girls in class, they might have some pause.

I think you're giving men who act like this too much of a pass. "Snickering boys" do this because they haven't learned how to be men yet. Most grow out of it. "Men" who act in the ways you describe do it because they're projecting their own insecurities and failures onto an entire gender. They seem more openly hostile to American/British/Canadian women because those are the women who are most vocal on this site, but they are in fact hostile towards women in a much more all-inclusive way. The praise of their fiancee's/wives is faint at best, as it usually boils down to how she serves his ideals, but never the other way around. It's selfish and sad. Fortunately, unless the population has blossomed during my month-long so-called vacation (which was actually about 3 weeks of replacing a roof on a dacha and one week of business), it's only a few.

Somewhat related, I was saddened to discover recently that Scott Adams (creator of the Dilbert cartoon strip), a man who I'd always considered very intelligent, is actually a deluded jerk. (a writer at Salon takes him to task here.) Which just goes to prove you don't have to be an uneducated jerk to think these kinds of things, you just have to be selfish to the core.

[^_^ 5,021]

. The praise of their fiancee's/wives is faint at best, as it usually boils down to how she serves his ideals, but never the other way around.

.

Since we all know this is directed primarily at Gary and WhyMe, allow me to cut to the chase. The above is a lie. And what's worse is you know its a lie. You're saying it to perpetuate a low intensity flamewar you have going on with them and hope no one will notice.

I have personally read, more than once, Gary and WhyMe speak in glowing terms of their wives educational and/or professional achievements.

You should retract that statement and explain to us why you felt you could get away with that.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I think you're giving men who act like this too much of a pass. "Snickering boys" do this because they haven't learned how to be men yet. Most grow out of it. "Men" who act in the ways you describe do it because they're projecting their own insecurities and failures onto an entire gender. They seem more openly hostile to American/British/Canadian women because those are the women who are most vocal on this site, but they are in fact hostile towards women in a much more all-inclusive way. The praise of their fiancee's/wives is faint at best, as it usually boils down to how she serves his ideals, but never the other way around. It's selfish and sad. Fortunately, unless the population has blossomed during my month-long so-called vacation (which was actually about 3 weeks of replacing a roof on a dacha and one week of business), it's only a few.

Somewhat related, I was saddened to discover recently that Scott Adams (creator of the Dilbert cartoon strip), a man who I'd always considered very intelligent, is actually a deluded jerk. (a writer at Salon takes him to task here.) Which just goes to prove you don't have to be an uneducated jerk to think these kinds of things, you just have to be selfish to the core.

You spent 3 weeks replacing a roof on a dacha in Ukraine eh? I'm going to have to guess and say that's probably a 2,400+ sq ft. dacha with several hips and valley's making it one of the largest dacha's in Ukraine...or better yet all the RUB country's. Was it a shake roof by chance ? 10/12 pitch probably...? I bet your one heck of a roofer aren't you Capt. Hammer. I guess that's where the Hammer part of your name comes in.

Edited June 24, 2011 by Why_Me

[^_^ 5,021]

Maybe he's an amateur. Not everyone does menial work for a living.

[Captain Hammer 113]

Since we all know this is directed primarily at Gary and WhyMe, allow me to cut to the chase. The above is a lie. And what's worse is you know its a lie. You're saying it to perpetuate a low intensity flamewar you have going on with them and hope no one will notice.

I have personally read, more than once, Gary and WhyMe speak in glowing terms of their wives educational and/or professional achievements.

You should retract that statement and explain to us why you felt you could get away with that.

To be clear, I wasn't addressing any specific person, I was expressing an (well, multiple) opinion(s). I'm not involved in any kind of flame war, "low intensity" or otherwise. In fact, I don't have any intention at all of debating this matter, so there's really no chance of a flame war at all. My post stands on its own, and if somebody sees themselves in it, they should (again, in my opinion) consider making some positive changes in their life.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I have personally read, more than once, Gary and WhyMe speak in glowing terms of their wives educational and/or professional achievements.

No matter how much I agree with a lot of what Captain Hammer says, I have to agree with the above statement.

[^_^ 5,021]

To be clear, I wasn't addressing any specific person

More lies.

I'm not involved in any kind of flame war, "low intensity" or otherwise.

Yet more lies.

In fact, I don't have any intention at all of debating this matter...

So this is a hit n run? I'm not surprised. Your tactics are transparent and your strategy is indefensible. You wish to tarnish other posters with your innuendo without actually violating TOS. Are you sure you're not a lawyer?

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

So this is a hit n run? I'm not surprised. Your tactics are transparent and your strategy is indefensible. You wish to tarnish other posters with your innuendo without actually violating TOS. Are you sure you're not a lawyer?

If this is your attempt to insinuate that I'm actually Captain Hammer, it's a pretty weak one.

[^_^ 5,021]

If this is your attempt to insinuate that I'm actually Captain Hammer, it's a pretty weak one.

Do you really think you're the only lawyer in these parts? My my what a big ego. I am beginning to see why you and Gary and WhyMe clash so much... Big egos rarely get along.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Do you really think you're the only lawyer in these parts? My my what a big ego. I am beginning to see why you and Gary and WhyMe clash so much... Big egos rarely get along.

I may not be the only one, but I would hazard to guess that I'm probably the best known on here. If that makes me an egotist, so be it. I'm merely pointing out the obvious.

[^_^ 5,021]

I may not be the only one, but I would hazard to guess that I'm probably the best known on here. If that makes me an egotist, so be it. I'm merely pointing out the obvious.

This is an immigration forum. The uppers are swarming with lawyers. Egotist? Yeah. Just a bit.