Evil sister inlaws... Grrr hahaha

[Jenn! 918]

Damn. Did I just post the same ####### that I double posted last night. Mod, please fix. I'm on a cell phone. I dint know this works on a phone. Gosh I am so f dumb...

[NeedInfo3839 2]

Haven't had the pleasure of meeting my future in-laws just yet. I've only seen pictures. But when I do meet them, I can only hope they will like me... Khalid is still working outside Egypt, and has not discussed me with them just yet, because we only recently decided we wanted to be a couple, after a 4-year online friendship. I will get to meet them in about a year though.

But just in case, I will prep myself to expect a reaction such as,

"Oh... She's an American? And a Christian??"

And possibly some worries about a match like this. Maybe even an attempt at talking us out of it.

Khalid SWEARS that his family are all very kind, and they will support whatever makes him happy. And maybe that is true. He also says even if they did have issues with our union, they would never actually say so, or show it. And even if they did, he will still marry me, and tell them its OUR choice, because its OUR life and happiness on the table here. But he really doesn't think there will be a problem. I hope he is right...

I know a good reaction is possible, because that is exactly how my Ex husband's family was, very kind and welcoming to me (he was from India). So I will keep and open positive mind, and just be as sweet and kind to all of them as possible, and dress exactly like the local women when I meet them, out of respect. They are very religious, so maybe it will make me more acceptable? I hope...

Edited June 10, 2011 by Melissa N Khalid

[Staashi 371]

I've never met a MENA family without an opinion on their future son or daughter in-law. Your man saying that is just being kind. They'll have an opinion, brace yourself.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

And I also wonder does MENA men really believe what they say when they say they dont care what their family says or thinks about who they marry? I know that Adams family and I are very close and get along perfect. They have never said anything bad about me to Adam while we were apart or together and I would never think of saying anything bad about them bcz they are so sweet and adorable. All of them knew about me from the beginning.

Not all the inlaws are so loving and inviting of a person of another culture marrying their son or daughter. I know of many that the family, and even aunts/uncles ...cousins do not approve of the relationships and the men seriously do feel the pressure and do care what their families are saying about the relationships that even the relationships do not turn out for the guy and girl bcz of the family pressure. Just a thought.

Edited June 10, 2011 by ~PalmTreeGurl~

[NeedInfo3839 2]

And I also wonder does MENA men really believe what they say when they say they dont care what their family says or thinks about who they marry? I know that Adams family and I are very close and get along perfect. They have never said anything bad about me to Adam while we were apart or together and I would never think of saying anything bad about them bcz they are so sweet and adorable. All of them knew about me from the beginning.

Not all the inlaws are so loving and inviting of a person of another culture marrying their son or daughter. I know of many that the family, and even aunts/uncles ...cousins do not approve of the relationships and the men seriously do feel the pressure and do care what their families are saying about the relationships that even the relationships do not turn out for the guy and girl bcz of the family pressure. Just a thought.

Yeah, I'm kind of expecting maybe some outwardly polite faces when meeting them, but some "concern" probably behind it all, lol.

But see.... Khalid is a little bit on the defiant side, just by nature, lol.

His first wife... She died at 26, because she had a heart condition and her artificial valve operation didn't go well. Their families knew about the heart condition, and Khalid's parents STRONGLY apposed the marriage. they were worried she could die any time, and that was no way to start your life out. But Khalid married ehr anyway, because he fell in love with her. When she died (2 years after the wedding), she left behind their 1 year old son.

A couple of years later, Khalid's family "suggested" he marry a Palestinian woman. She was basically a work-a-holic, who was several years older than him! She was a virgin and all, but "needed" a husband because her family didn't like her being unmarried so long. Khalid's family suggested they marry, because after the death of his wife, he had not shown any interest in women at all. They were worried about him, and his young son (at the time begin cared for by his sister). So despite the fact that Khalid had NO feelings for this woman, he married her anyway. Everyone pressured him into giving her the child she wanted so badly (another son), which Khalid really did not want to have another child. At least not with her.

2 years later, their marriage fell apart because Khalid is EXTREMELY romantic, and affectionate, I mean REALLY sensitive. He's like the only guy I know who watches romantic "chick flicks" on his own, lol. He was looking more for someone who could be his "best friend" and really deep companionship. But his ex wife was really hard and tough. Sorta cold. She really just didn't care for that stuff. She really wanted nothing to do with him as a husband, or lover, or anything. She just wanted a baby, and someone to help her survive financially. She enjoyed the social and family "respect" that came with being married, and a mother. But Khalid wanted A LOT more than that from a wife. So again-- against his family's wishes-- he told everyone he did not want to be with her anymore.

When he told his ex "I'm just not happy with you", she didn't offer to work on the marriage, or try to be more loving, or say "Please don't go, I love you", or anything. She just used the kids as guilt, and cried about money, money, money. So that just really put the nail in the coffin for him.

The thing is... Khalid fell VERY DEEPLY in love with me, before he even met that woman! I was still (legally) married when he fell in love with me, but my marriage was a complete disaster! Most of the time I was staying at my mom's house, because I couldn't even stand to be home. Yes, I felt a very strong connection with Khalid. He was my best friend in the whole world! Heck, I knew him better personally wise than I knew my husband! lol. But I wasn't ready to trust anyone else yet, and my divorce wasn't even final. So when Khalid told me how he felt about me... I was honored, and flattered, and teary-eyed... But still wounded. So I turned him down. So that was when he decided to marry that other woman. Then after his marriage fell apart, he came back to me again. He said he wanted someone more romantic, more deeply connected to him, and like a best friend whom he could talk to about anything for hours on end-- someone like ME. And by then, I'd had more time to heal from my own pain-- so he and I just fell for each other completely. We both just walked away from the bad relationships, and came to each other, because we made each other a lot more happy. We supported each other through all our troubles. I guess it shoudl hve been me and him from day one, and nobody else. That's what he says too, lol.

He says because of his ex, he no longer trusts his family to pick someone for him. At least not someone he could ever be happy with. He was blissfully happy with his first wife before she died, and I make him blissfully happy, so he trusts his own judgment much better. Hehe, that's my defiant Khalid!

[Mithra 1,185]

Not necessarily. Not that they don't have an opinion but not all of them express it in a negative or extreme way. Some families actually want their children to be happy and as long as their husband or wife is a decent person they're ok.

My inlaws seemed cool about the fact that I'm American. It didn't seem to matter to them at all. I'm talking about the immediate family. I don't know about the aunts, uncles and cousins but I never heard anything negative, personally. Religion was a non issue, as well. I'm not religious but I did wear Islamic type clothing while I was there to "blend" in. The family liked that I was respectful in that way. I'm hoping things remain cool with them since we'll be having our first child in a few months. We'll raise the child as a "Muslim light". I'm not religious and neither is my husband but he does believe in the religion and wants his child to as well. That's fine with me.

Anyways, that was more about Melissa N Khali's post about what the family will think more than the subject of the thread. Re: the actual subject of this thread, I don't have evil SILs. There's a cousin and wife of an uncle that most of the family isn't thrilled with. I wasn't impressed either but I try to stay out of it.

I've never met a MENA family without an opinion on their future son or daughter in-law. Your man saying that is just being kind. They'll have an opinion, brace yourself.

[Jenna&Moe 8]

honestly its gotten to the point where I dont care anymore... shes just jealous because she isnt "the american who tried so hard to learn arabic...and learn our culture ohhhhh mashallllllllahhhhhhhhhh thats wonderful" anymore... now she has competition... no offense to anyone on here but if you know MENA families no matter what happens not only MENA's but most cultures prefer their own... shes just hating because I am one of them and one of her...she has no trump card, I on the other hand have 2 beat that evil B*&ch in-law BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA... I just cant wait till I finish doing what I need to do...cuz when I am past the "i have to be a sweet presentable angel stage" Im not going to give her 2 cents....trick is gona hit the jackpot...MILLLLLLLS hahaha I love how I come off as so ghetto

[Jenna&Moe 8]

honestly its gotten to the point where I dont care anymore... shes just jealous because she isnt "the american who tried so hard to learn arabic...and learn our culture ohhhhh mashallllllllahhhhhhhhhh thats wonderful" anymore... now she has competition... no offense to anyone on here but if you know MENA families no matter what happens not only MENA's but most cultures prefer their own... shes just hating because I am one of them and one of her...she has no trump card, I on the other hand have 2 beat that evil B*&ch in-law BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA... I just cant wait till I finish doing what I need to do...cuz when I am past the "i have to be a sweet presentable angel stage" Im not going to give her 2 cents....trick is gona hit the jackpot...MILLLLLLLS hahaha I love how I come off as so ghetto

honestly its gotten to the point where I dont care anymore... shes just jealous because she isnt "the american who tried so hard to learn arabic...and learn our culture ohhhhh mashallllllllahhhhhhhhhh thats wonderful" anymore... now she has competition... no offense to anyone on here but if you know MENA families no matter what happens not only MENA's but most cultures prefer their own... shes just hating because I am one of them and one of her...she has no trump card, I on the other hand have 2 beat that evil B*&ch in-law BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA... I just cant wait till I finish doing what I need to do...cuz when I am past the "i have to be a sweet presentable angel stage" Im not going to give her 2 cents....trick is gona hit the jackpot...MILLLLLLLS hahaha I love how I come off as so ghetto