While waiting for your step/daughter/son

[jrmejia 31]

make it personal one more time and this thread will wind up just like some of your other ones - last warning.

So you guys can attack me with gross names and statements and I am supposed to stay quiet? I don't get it. I know you are the moderator but are also implying the same as the initial posters.

So please respect comes in both way. Same goes for disrespect.

[Darnell 8,479]

whats up with the K-2 at Manila ?

[jrmejia 31]

whats up with the K-2 at Manila ?

Very low process! Her K1 went so well in Dubai. They are so professional. I really cannot say the same about USEM.

Edited June 6, 2011 by jrmejia

[sunandmoon 450]

Why cannot a step father love his step son with all his love?

who said you couldn't...?

Just read the above messages. Some of the guys are writing very ugly, dis-respectful, grows posts.

But them I repeat the same "If that is what they think? it has to be because inside their mind process they think about very gross things and they are what they think"

nobody said you couldn't give your stepson all of your love.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

whats up with the K-2 at Manila ?

Darnell:

Your question just made this a regional thread.

I am curious. Before you asked that question...why is this thread in regional? Didn't it belong ing the "Effects of Major Family Changes" forum? or "Moving to America forum"?

[jrmejia 31]

nobody said you couldn't give your stepson all of your love.

I am glad you don't see anything wrong with it.

But some people are making wrong assumption including a MOD agreeing them. They just got too out of hands their comments. GROSS AND DISRESPECTFUL.

[sunandmoon 450]

I am glad you don't see anything wrong with it.

But some people are making wrong assumption including a MOD agreeing them. They just got too out of hands their comments. GROSS AND DISRESPECTFUL.

if I agree with them, do I have a dirty mind? I have a stepdaughter, I think of it as being protective.

[jrmejia 31]

if I agree with them, do I have a dirty mind? I have a stepdaughter, I think of it as being protective.

Sorry to agree with you. I just can not believe how you guys can even assume that. I can expect such a thinking from some one. Unless the person saying or writing has a very lowlife way of thinking. Is that answer your question? but you are free to think, act, write whatever you like that? If that is part of your personality, enjoy it.

I am sure some will not see or think the way some of you can be so gross and accusing others of such a lowlife. Again you are what you think and write. EOS.

[sunandmoon 450]

Sorry to agree with you. I just can not believe how you guys can even assume that. I can expect such a thinking from some one. Unless the person saying or writing has a very lowlife way of thinking. Is that answer your question? but you are free to think, act, write whatever you like that? If that is part of your personality, enjoy it.

I am sure some will not see or think the way some of you can be so gross and accusing others of such a lowlife. Again you are what you think and write. EOS.

nobody accused you of anything. it's the wording of your post...

[jrmejia 31]

nobody accused you of anything. it's the wording of your post...

We said enough. Maybe we should take a break. Politely!

[Darnell 8,479]

Darnell:

Your question just made this a regional thread.

I didn't move this thread

I do apologize, though, as I had a momentary dip into 'topic confusion'. I had some interest in what he was doing on the process of the K-2 FTJ case.

Back on topic..

HEY ! JR !!!

Many of the things yer frettin over are NORMAL, for a new step-dad. If you need professional guidance, contact the local social services department in your area, talk with a social worker about 'instant family creation' - many people marry after divorce, spouses have children from prior marriages, and many of the concerns you have (whilst seemingly normal to an outsider) can seem overwhelming to you. IMO, it's a good thing to do, to see a social worker in your area, as they can give you lots of good info for 'how to do' with the 'new child'.

It's one of the topics that I'd recommend seeking the advice of a licensed professional, rather than seeking advice on an Immigration-Specific web portal.

If seeing a licensed professional seems 'too much' for you - hey ! hit the big local library in yer area, look into the 'parenting skills' section.

Good Luck, Sir !

Edited June 6, 2011 by Darnell

[sunandmoon 450]

[jrmejia 31]

I didn't move this thread

I do apologize, though, as I had a momentary dip into 'topic confusion'. I had some interest in what he was doing on the process of the K-2 FTJ case.

Back on topic..

HEY ! JR !!!

Many of the things yer frettin over are NORMAL, for a new step-dad. If you need professional guidance, contact the local social services department in your area, talk with a social worker about 'instant family creation' - many people marry after divorce, spouses have children from prior marriages, and many of the concerns you have (whilst seemingly normal to an outsider) can seem overwhemling to you. IMO, it's a good thing to do, to see a social worker in your area, as they can give you lots of good info for 'how to do' with the 'new child'.

It's one of the topics that I'd recommend seeking the advice of a licensed professional, rather than seeking advice on an Immigration-Specific web portal.

If seeing a licensed professional seems 'too much' for you - hey ! hit the big local library in yer area, look into the 'parenting skills' section.

Good Luck, Sir !

Thanks,

He will be my first kid. I've never been married before nor have kids outside marriage. But what bothered me was the gross assumption of many of the posters including a MOD agreeing with them. Those gross comments were not necessary. Just too GROSS FOR MY TASTE.

As a matter of fact, I am happy that I am going to be his father. My post is about HOW EXCITED I am waiting for them and sometimes I think more about him. He is so gracious and respectful. I just do not know understand how some gross people could twist my post. I STILL BELIEVE THEY HAVE VERY LOWLIFE by posting SUCH GROSS COMMENTS. MAYBE THAT IS THE WAY THEY ARE, THINK, and ACT.

I never like the idea of having kids outside marriage. I thank God for that. I found it disrespectful and not cool for some men to have kids and never care for the kids. NO I am not talking about child support. CHILD SUPPORT IS A WAY OF SAYING (GO AWAY, I DO NOT WANT TO RAISE YOU)

But again, that is my opinion and I believe I am entitled to have my own OPINION.

Edited June 6, 2011 by jrmejia

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

Sorry to agree with you. I just can not believe how you guys can even assume that. I can expect such a thinking from some one. Unless the person saying or writing has a very lowlife way of thinking. Is that answer your question? but you are free to think, act, write whatever you like that? If that is part of your personality, enjoy it.

I am sure some will not see or think the way some of you can be so gross and accusing others of such a lowlife. Again you are what you think and write. EOS.

You keep defending yourself from perceived personal attacks. Nobody has or is attacking you, accusing you of anything, or assuming anything inproper (or lowlife as you call it) about you. We are just trying to make you aware that the wording you used in your original post is similar to how pedophiles describe their love for children. That doesn't mean anybody has accused you of anything. Nobody here thinks or assumes anything bad about you. Why can't you just accept that?

BTW-Why do you feel that the mere mention of real-life issues like pedophilia is gross and disgusting? Rational adults are able to discuss these issues without name calling (I'm not a lowlife simply because I say the word "pedophilia". I'm sure in your world, it doesn't exist so nobody should ever even discuss it. But here in the real world, it does and people talk about how to recognize it and stop it. I guess all law enforcement are a bunch of lowlifes for setting up stings for online pedophiles, right?) You need a better grip on reality.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

JR,

I'll give you a bit of advice from a long time father (my oldest is now 19) and a step-father (for 2 1/2 years now):

I understand wanting to get the little guy everything but you do need to be careful as you're setting up a situation with extremely high expectations between yourself and the child. The child could take you generosity as an opportunity to get what they want from you via emotional blackmail. Furnish are room them, sure that's basic needs but most of the other stuff is over the top. You could have accomplished the level of generosity by spreading it out using birthdays, Christmas and other Holidays.

My little guy landed in the US with a fully furnished room (some new & some gently used items) and over the first year we gradually expanded his clothing & toy inventory. It also gave us a chance to bond during the shopping for him process (not to mention the time spent with the wifie for the benefit of our little guys which helped to build that relationship also).

If you really want him to know you love him, then don't worry so much about the material things and focus on giving him the attention, structure and support he will need as he acclimates to his new world.

Finally I'll address the "nasty, pervert comments" that have offended you so much. I understand that English isn't your first language but you have claimed to have been int he US for over 30 years so I would expect you'd have a better command & understanding of US English. You choice of words was poor and did indeed imply that you have more interest in and excitement for the child than his mother. I understand you're saying that's not the case but you need to think carefully on how you word things. As this in an internet forum we can't hear the nuances of your voice or read the expression on you face as we read your words so we have to take them at face value.