Does Porn Watching Lead to Divorce?

[faust-yusov 103]

To be honest, if my partner was so aroused by another person that I found her masturbating over images of them, I think I'd be pretty jealous too. If you can resolve yourself and your relationship to that, fine - but I imagine a lot of guys have double standards on this.

[SMOKE 1,426]

To be honest, if my partner was so aroused by another person that I found her masturbating over images of them, I think I'd be pretty jealous too. If you can resolve yourself and your relationship to that, fine - but I imagine a lot of guys have double standards on this.

i encourage her to surf. i even set up a special folder in her favorites list.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

"I've heard"

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To be honest, if my partner was so aroused by another person that I found her masturbating over images of them, I think I'd be pretty jealous too. If you can resolve yourself and your relationship to that, fine - but I imagine a lot of guys have double standards on this.

You'd get jealous over Brad Pitt? I could see that only if you are currently married to Jennifer Aniston. That would be weird.

[SMOKE 1,426]

"I've heard"

have you heard of my 500G+ library?

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

You haven't lived till you've stuck your ####### inside a warm calzone. Better than apple pie.

We have a virgin on VJ.

[faust-yusov 103]

You'd get jealous over Brad Pitt?

If my partner wanted to have sex with him to the extent that she fantasized and masturbated about it?

I think there's a sort of infidelity to that. I think finding other people attractive and sexy is perfectly normal, but imagining yourself having sex with them is another issue. Honestly I don't think I'd value monogamy as a lifestyle practice if faithfulness were something a couple were forcing themselves to abide by, rather than something they actually wanted.

Edited June 4, 2011 by faust-yusov

[scandal 951]

If my partner wanted to have sex with him to the extent that she fantasized and masturbated about it?

I think there's a sort of infidelity to that. I think finding other people attractive and sexy is perfectly normal, but imagining yourself having sex with them is another issue. Honestly I don't think I'd value monogamy as a lifestyle practice if faithfulness were something a couple were forcing themselves to abide by, rather than something they actually wanted.

I found this to be a very influential read on the subject. I am in a monogamous relationship, but I imagine having sex with others pretty often, and always have as far back as I can remember. In my experience, monogamy is a socially learned behavior that humans adopt because it has benefits for child-rearing and constructing the family units that are the basis of our society. I buy into those benefits but I recognize that we're fighting a very powerful evolutionary force that directs us in our genes to NOT be monogamous. We have ~ 10,000 years of social pressures to stay in pair bonds. We have millions of years of evolution pressuring us not to. It's a constant struggle, which is why so many of us stray, and many never bother with the concept of monogamy to begin with.

[웃 910]

finding other people attractive and sexy is perfectly normal, but imagining yourself having sex with them is another issue.

I whack off to porn. But I wouldn't say I "imagine myself having sex with them". Makes it sound creepy...

Although it would be nice. They really know how to move!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I found this to be a very influential read on the subject. I am in a monogamous relationship, but I imagine having sex with others pretty often, and always have as far back as I can remember. In my experience, monogamy is a socially learned behavior that humans adopt because it has benefits for child-rearing and constructing the family units that are the basis of our society. I buy into those benefits but I recognize that we're fighting a very powerful evolutionary force that directs us in our genes to NOT be monogamous. We have ~ 10,000 years of social pressures to stay in pair bonds. We have millions of years of evolution pressuring us not to. It's a constant struggle, which is why so many of us stray, and many never bother with the concept of monogamy to begin with.

Yeah, just like the urge to lift a huge rock and crush someone's skull is still very strong. Thank God for punching bags and Saturday night poker with the guys.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I whack off to porn. But I wouldn't say I "imagine myself having sex with them". Makes it sound creepy...

Desensitivity is a real problem for habitual use. Just how often and is it due to unavailability of partner?

If my partner wanted to have sex with him to the extent that she fantasized and masturbated about it?

How else does one masturbate? Do you think of fluffy bunnies and rainbows?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Yeah, just like the urge to lift a huge rock and crush someone's skull is still very strong. Thank God for punching bags and Saturday night poker with the guys.

Saturday night poker has been known to cause divorce, unless, of course, the loser's wife is the prize next Saturday.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Saturday night poker has been known to cause divorce, unless, of course, the loser's wife is the prize next Saturday.

Wife swapping? Wow, sir! You just pushed this thread right over the cliff.

[faust-yusov 103]

I found this to be a very influential read on the subject. I am in a monogamous relationship, but I imagine having sex with others pretty often, and always have as far back as I can remember. In my experience, monogamy is a socially learned behavior that humans adopt because it has benefits for child-rearing and constructing the family units that are the basis of our society. I buy into those benefits but I recognize that we're fighting a very powerful evolutionary force that directs us in our genes to NOT be monogamous. We have ~ 10,000 years of social pressures to stay in pair bonds. We have millions of years of evolution pressuring us not to. It's a constant struggle, which is why so many of us stray, and many never bother with the concept of monogamy to begin with.

As someone with a dilettante interest in evolutionary biology myself, I don't think the science is nearly as conclusive as you suggest. Dawkins' game-theoretical "battle of the sexes" model of philanderer vs. faithful / fast vs. coy ('The Selfish Gene', 1976) provides a convincing mathematical argument that no one strategy is (or ever could be) evolutionarily stable across our species.

Further, we would be remiss to discount entirely quite overwhelming psychological phenomena such as love or jealousy, which appear both ubiquitous and (principally) monogamy-bound emotions. In fact, most of the recent studies I've encounted seem now resolved to investigating the lifespan of monogamous imperatives, rather than whether or not they're evolutionarily or socially manifested. One (though, you'll have to forgive me, I can't remember which) suggested that the bonds wane after a mutually reared child reaches 4, which was indicated to be the stage where the mother could care for the child herself.

I would agree that society, crafted as it has been by jealous men, fretful over uncertainty of paternity, has placed a perverse and unwarranted stigma on polygamy and infidelity. But that's not to say that there are no evolutionarily mandated monogamous impulses - just that we've crafted an artificial morality that vehemently lauds them over more promiscuous tendencies.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

...no one strategy is (or ever could be) evolutionarily stable across our species.

Are you suggesting that evolutionary behavior is dynamic and not static? That is radical.