R.I.P Daddy

[gna781 1]

Hi everyone,

This May 25th my father passed away due to a horrible liver desease in Baja California, MX. I was unable to see my dad one last time, hug him one last time, or kiss him goodbye. Why? Because leaving this country would have meant a 10 year bar. I had to stay all on my own and cry bymyself while the rest of my family could peacefully pay their respects at his funeral. Last year my mom, who is a LPR thanks to my older sister who is a USC through marying her American husband, petitioned me F2A. As many of you know the PD are far from being curent and because I have failed to keep myself in legal presence, or better yet renew my I-94 it is almost guranteed Im not getting any type of chance of AOS this way.

Now I am at a loss. I feel so alone and knowing my father is gone just makes me want to give up on everything. There hasnt been one morning where I dont wake up with a knot in my throat or waking up from a nightmare with tears streaming down my face. I miss him so much and having him only the 18 years that Ive lived hasnt been enough for me. I want to go back "home" but without my father there is NO HOME. All my family has now made a home here in the US and Im the only one who hasnt. I also feel so much regret for not being there to say goodbye because I feel it is for a selfish reason.

When I started my VisaJourney I never imagined it would be this hard, I know many others have it worse but I cant find the strength to keep my head up. I have a lovely boyfriend who I met when I first came here and he has been there holding my hand since day one. He wants to help me through this process but right now I just dont know what to make of anything. Hes been the only one who has ever gone through everything to try and keep a smile on my face and because of this I love him unconditionally. I have never met someone so caring and genuine and I thank God each day for sending me an angel like him. I wish I could just be strong and get through this the way he wants to help me out but Im just so confused. I know I love this guy but all I can think about is my father. All I want to do is go to him, I know hes not there but anything is better then being so far away. I want to walk through his house and see the things he saw, do the things he did.

I know that the beneficial thing to do for my life is stay here and at least try so I dont ever wonder what if, but how do I find the strength? Ive already lost someone who I love and if I leave Ill lose another. I dont know what to do. Leave and be unable to come back for what maybe 10 years or forever or take a gamble and stay for the rezt of my family and what cod be my future family?

I know we might not know eachother but Im writting this with my heart on my sleeve. I have no expectancies just simply maybe venting. Thank you for being a listening ear.

Much love,

Gina

[Xinh_Will 1]

Gina,

STAY! DON'T GIVE UP!

I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my mother in February to a stroke. She never opened her eyes again. I was out of the country alone at the time. My family stayed with her until I could get there a week later. Being there didn't help, but I understand how it feels to not be able to get there, too.

I know the bad dreams-the feeling that home just isn't home without your loved one. And if you go back, I think you'll see it really is true. In my opinion, you need to continue what you've started. You're so young and your future is bright. You came here for a REASON. I'm sure your father was happy to see you get here with mom and your family. Just bad luck of the draw that you were in limbo and couldn't get out of the country to see him one last time, but do the hard stuff now--it makes life easier later. It's about keeping his memory alive in your heart now--and you can do that here or there. Do it here, with your family. With your boyfriend. With the support you are going to need to get through this.

Don't give up. If you can, keep working on AOS somehow. Walking through your dad's house probably won't be the closure you think it might be. If you can, ask mom to bring you something special of his. Keep him in your heart. That's where he is now.

Just my opinion. You were here for a reason. Your dad passing is a terrible bump in the road, but you can make it to wherever you're trying to get to.

No matter your decision, there are people here for you.

Much love,

Will

Hi everyone,

This May 25th my father passed away due to a horrible liver desease in Baja California, MX. I was unable to see my dad one last time, hug him one last time, or kiss him goodbye. Why? Because leaving this country would have meant a 10 year bar. I had to stay all on my own and cry bymyself while the rest of my family could peacefully pay their respects at his funeral. Last year my mom, who is a LPR thanks to my older sister who is a USC through marying her American husband, petitioned me F2A. As many of you know the PD are far from being curent and because I have failed to keep myself in legal presence, or better yet renew my I-94 it is almost guranteed Im not getting any type of chance of AOS this way.

Now I am at a loss. I feel so alone and knowing my father is gone just makes me want to give up on everything. There hasnt been one morning where I dont wake up with a knot in my throat or waking up from a nightmare with tears streaming down my face. I miss him so much and having him only the 18 years that Ive lived hasnt been enough for me. I want to go back "home" but without my father there is NO HOME. All my family has now made a home here in the US and Im the only one who hasnt. I also feel so much regret for not being there to say goodbye because I feel it is for a selfish reason.

When I started my VisaJourney I never imagined it would be this hard, I know many others have it worse but I cant find the strength to keep my head up. I have a lovely boyfriend who I met when I first came here and he has been there holding my hand since day one. He wants to help me through this process but right now I just dont know what to make of anything. Hes been the only one who has ever gone through everything to try and keep a smile on my face and because of this I love him unconditionally. I have never met someone so caring and genuine and I thank God each day for sending me an angel like him. I wish I could just be strong and get through this the way he wants to help me out but Im just so confused. I know I love this guy but all I can think about is my father. All I want to do is go to him, I know hes not there but anything is better then being so far away. I want to walk through his house and see the things he saw, do the things he did.

I know that the beneficial thing to do for my life is stay here and at least try so I dont ever wonder what if, but how do I find the strength? Ive already lost someone who I love and if I leave Ill lose another. I dont know what to do. Leave and be unable to come back for what maybe 10 years or forever or take a gamble and stay for the rezt of my family and what cod be my future family?

I know we might not know eachother but Im writting this with my heart on my sleeve. I have no expectancies just simply maybe venting. Thank you for being a listening ear.

Much love,

Gina

[Xinh_Will 1]

Oops, double post.

Edited May 31, 2011 by Xinh_Will

[Mrstate 1]

Hi Gina i know how u feel when my grand pa died i couldnt come home too and i know some people who has the same experience as u and all the advices are all the same, if they can tell u, they will want u to stay as u have a good opportunities here, there is a reason why u are here but u just have to find that reason, it might be selfish to think, but wouldnt ur dad tell u to stay if he can? he might be gone but ur dad will forever be in ur heart. Dont give up because then ur sacrifice of not going home will be for nothing, do it for ur dad so u staying here will one day be a good decision for u and when that comes i know any parents would be proud. Maybe ur only way to get an aos is thru marriage, but only do it to the person u love the most

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Why are you'll telling her to stay, she cannot AOS in the US, she will have to go back to Mexico to AOS and file a waiver. There will be no way around it if she is trying to obtain legal status through her mother.

[C_María 6]

It gets better

[Xinh_Will 1]

Fair enough. If that is the only way she can AOS.

But it seemed her reasoning for going back was closure with her dad--seemed to be her point anyway, and that's done. My point was she should continue on the track she was headed on before dad got sick. But I certainly defer on the AOS/waiver process. She needs to do what she needs to do to get with her mom/family who are here in the states. That's where her support is. She shouldn't be going back for closure--she should be going back if she needs to in order to get here permanently.

Regardless, hang in there, OP.

Why are you'll telling her to stay, she cannot AOS in the US, she will have to go back to Mexico to AOS and file a waiver. There will be no way around it if she is trying to obtain legal status through her mother.

[amesa 9]

Fair enough. If that is the only way she can AOS.

But it seemed her reasoning for going back was closure with her dad--seemed to be her point anyway, and that's done. My point was she should continue on the track she was headed on before dad got sick. But I certainly defer on the AOS/waiver process. She needs to do what she needs to do to get with her mom/family who are here in the states. That's where her support is. She shouldn't be going back for closure--she should be going back if she needs to in order to get here permanently.

Regardless, hang in there, OP.

OP: I am truly sorry about your loss. I hope and pray that through God's help you will not give up and that He will bless you with peace and understanding.

However, the US govt doesn't play a sympathy role. Like a previous poster said, you can't AOS here. You're goingto have to go back. Sorry.

[Mrs Green 6]

Gina,

My heart goes out to you. Pls stay as i beleive that things will turn around for you. I believe the F2a category will move quickly again but if you cant adjust status then you have been bless with a good man, so consider getting married to him. You are in my prayers --- i know the sun will shine again for you and you are going to be a great motivator for others

[gna781 1]

Hi Will,

Thank you so much for your kinds words. I think something you said is right and I wasnt thinking it before. Going back wont do much for me if not maybe make me more sad. Even though Ive been forgetting recently, I do have people here who are supporting me. Going back there is no one. All I was concerned about was getting some closure but again another thing you said; I know my dad would want me to stay and at least try to do what I came here for. A lot of the times with situations like mine are a gamble but I dont think it would be good for me in the longrun to just leave and wonder what if? all the time. Im going to give it that last try and maybe try things the marrying option because I think what you said about being here for a reason is true. I dont think that I met someone so amazing just coincidentally and I need to act upon that. Only one problem: I have no idea how to go about that. I need to start doing some research I suppose.

Again, Will thank you so much you really helped me out! It was perfect waking up to read your comment and everyone else's as well.

Gina,

STAY! DON'T GIVE UP!

I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my mother in February to a stroke. She never opened her eyes again. I was out of the country alone at the time. My family stayed with her until I could get there a week later. Being there didn't help, but I understand how it feels to not be able to get there, too.

I know the bad dreams-the feeling that home just isn't home without your loved one. And if you go back, I think you'll see it really is true. In my opinion, you need to continue what you've started. You're so young and your future is bright. You came here for a REASON. I'm sure your father was happy to see you get here with mom and your family. Just bad luck of the draw that you were in limbo and couldn't get out of the country to see him one last time, but do the hard stuff now--it makes life easier later. It's about keeping his memory alive in your heart now--and you can do that here or there. Do it here, with your family. With your boyfriend. With the support you are going to need to get through this.

Don't give up. If you can, keep working on AOS somehow. Walking through your dad's house probably won't be the closure you think it might be. If you can, ask mom to bring you something special of his. Keep him in your heart. That's where he is now.

Just my opinion. You were here for a reason. Your dad passing is a terrible bump in the road, but you can make it to wherever you're trying to get to.

No matter your decision, there are people here for you.

Much love,

Will

[gna781 1]

Hello Mrstate,

As I said to the previous comment, I think this is right, I am here for a reason. My mind has been a bit cloaded with all these things about my dad and I havent had anyone tell me otherwise until now. I really appreciate all your comments and I will stay here for the mean time until I have an answer as to weather or not I can adjust either the way Im doing it or through marrying my boyfriend. My dad woul dwant me to try and so I will. Thank you : )

Hi Gina i know how u feel when my grand pa died i couldnt come home too and i know some people who has the same experience as u and all the advices are all the same, if they can tell u, they will want u to stay as u have a good opportunities here, there is a reason why u are here but u just have to find that reason, it might be selfish to think, but wouldnt ur dad tell u to stay if he can? he might be gone but ur dad will forever be in ur heart. Dont give up because then ur sacrifice of not going home will be for nothing, do it for ur dad so u staying here will one day be a good decision for u and when that comes i know any parents would be proud. Maybe ur only way to get an aos is thru marriage, but only do it to the person u love the most

[gna781 1]

fashiondoll,

thank you so much I think I am going to stay and see what is in store for me. I have been blessed with a good man and I am silly not to have been appreciating that more.

Gina,

My heart goes out to you. Pls stay as i beleive that things will turn around for you. I believe the F2a category will move quickly again but if you cant adjust status then you have been bless with a good man, so consider getting married to him. You are in my prayers --- i know the sun will shine again for you and you are going to be a great motivator for others

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; I am sooooo sorry to hear about your loss

It's always sad losing the ones you loved the most, and the road gets dark ahead of you..

But remember that he is looking down on Earth and his soul is all around you.

I bet your dad would understand and wants his baby girl to be happy, regardless!! That's what a dad thinks of, if his daughter is happy, daddy is happy!!

Yes, his soul left it's body on Earth, and I feel sorry you couldn't be at his funeral. But his soul is still here and he will always be there for you..

and you know what? He will be the light that will lightening up the dark road ahead of you..

!!!!!!

P.S. A lot of kudos for your guy that he has been there for you. Thats how it supposed to be and he seems like the sweetest guy on Earth !

Edited May 31, 2011 by Channah&Aaron

[Rick_ES_USA 13]

Gina:

In order to get a good advice here from the VJ Community, you need to clarify this:

Did you enter the US with a tourist visa or enter without inspection (illegally)?

If you EWI then you are not going to be able to AOS, even if married to a USC (but a waiver is possible)

[gna781 1]

Hi Channan&Aaron,

I appreciate your words. I was definatly daddy's girl so this is the hardest thing Ive ever had to deal with in my young life. I have to always keep in mind what you said and know he's looking down on me.

As for my boyfriend, as Im typing this Im eating chicken noodle soup that he brought to me : ) I keep being reassured every minute that he's the greatest support I have.

; I am sooooo sorry to hear about your loss

It's always sad losing the ones you loved the most, and the road gets dark ahead of you..

But remember that he is looking down on Earth and his soul is all around you.

I bet your dad would understand and wants his baby girl to be happy, regardless!! That's what a dad thinks of, if his daughter is happy, daddy is happy!!

Yes, his soul left it's body on Earth, and I feel sorry you couldn't be at his funeral. But his soul is still here and he will always be there for you..

and you know what? He will be the light that will lightening up the dark road ahead of you..

!!!!!!

P.S. A lot of kudos for your guy that he has been there for you. Thats how it supposed to be and he seems like the sweetest guy on Earth !