Needing a sensible advice

[ThreeC 0]

I would like to share my friend's situation to hear some sensible advices from you:

1) They got married because of love

2) She will be processing her removal of condition by the end of the year

3) They were happy and just like any other couple they have their usual misunderstandings

4) She has a son who is doing well in school

5) During the first few month of their marriage she discovered that He (the USC), is into drug abuse.

6) She confronted and forgiven and He promised to stop it.

7) She, again, discovered that He hasnt stopped. They talked and she forgiven and He promised to stop again.. THis time with the intervention of his parents.

8) Other than that, He is a good man, with a good job, and a good father to her son.

9) She is also a good wife. . . And she is on job hunting to help the family.

10) Time passes and their relationship is going strong...Ive seen it myself.

11) Until recently, She again discovered that He was keeping the "tablets" and confronted him. He said that yes, he was taking it but He didnt had it illegally but legally due to chronic pain and the doctor prescribed it BUT He kept it from her because she knows itll freak her out knowing that He has it again.

12) She again felt betrayed and hurt..And She is thinking that things will just be happening again and again..

She is lost and doesnt know what to do...I dont know what to tell her because other than the drug abuse there is no other complaint. But I feel for her.

She is a good person and want the best for her... Hopefully , you can give some advices.. Thank you.

[rodceasar 34]

This is ONLY my opinion but if all is great in the relationship with the exception of taking pain pills which were prescribed from a doctor, I would let it go (meaning this issue). I would consider my quality of life prior to being with this person and afterwards. If it is significantly better and the relationship is strong, why lose it due to this. It might turn out to be a big regret. However, I do understand how many feel towards drug abuse. People have problems and issues and i personally feel noone should make ultimatums if it's not negatively impacting your quality of life or hurting this person by him becoming abusive, losing his job, not taking care of family, etc....

[sara..... 371]

She is right to be concerned about pain pills....we have a relative that got hooked on them so easy and all doctor prescribed ....it can happen with out anyone even seeing it happen including the doctor.....it would not be a good idea for her to leave him if he is a good man in all other ways...

it would be better to enlist the help of his family and friends and maybe even talk to the doctor about another type of pain management there are many out there...also the more that a person is on pain pills the more sensitive they become to pain (learned that from a doctor)...over use of pain pills can also destroy the liver

i will add them to my prayers

sara

Edited May 26, 2011 by sara.....

[simel1110 4]

Oh my just because they were prescribed by a doctor doesn't make it any less destructive to a relationship. I lived with a oxycodone addict for 14 months, and yes he too was nice outside of the constant pill popping. However, it ended very badly, financially and emotionally. I hope she is able to realize her worth and get away from the harm this will cause her and continue to cause her if she stays.

Making ultimatums does not work, a person who is an addict will find a way to continue his/her addiction. A person who realizes his addiction and seeks help on the other hand has a fighting chance.

[Harsh_77 718]

If they are prescribed, then atleast he is not getting into illegal issue, that is good. Now using them regularly and how often this person needs to take them is only the person can say, none of us can fit in his shoes to realise the pain he has.

I would say is they work it out with a doctor or some counsling about take small steps on how to discontinue them or get on some other alternative treatment etc.

This does not have to be the end of the relation.

Imagine other way if he would had been in a wreck he would had been injected tons of medicine including pain killer would you end your relation with him just coz he got in wreck and now has to take the pain killers.

[ThreeC 0]

If I am not mistaken, the first few times that She caught Him with the "Tabs" - it was purchased illegally..And He actually admitted to her that He indeed, was taking "It" way back but has been taking it in an on-off basis.. Things got worse when He was having seizures due to those illegally purchased "tabs" and stopped during the intervention of parents (which is obviously for the meantime because She caught Him again). On the recent discovery - He said it was prescribed- alright but when She asked for the prescribed bottle, He said he "threw" it (?????) ... But yes, He is actually a very good man...

She has been thinking of seperation but she has nothing.. no job (since she is still searching) , no house to stay, a little amount of money, she'll have no medical nor dental insurance.. and the same goes to Her son.

I just talked with her and She is truly hurting..I feel very sad for a friend... She is very religious but never question "Him"...She is truly a wonderful person

Would you advice that She talk to His parents again???

Do you know any couselling clinic or organization that the person's identity will be securely confidential bec it will cause Him his job so I can recommend it to her? But do you think it'll work?

Edited May 26, 2011 by ThreeC

[rlogan 2,036]

I had a very bad comminudal shattering of my tibia and fibia last fall and live in constant pain. I can have all the prescription pain pills I want but I quit taking them because of the side effects.

Honestly, I liked the buzz more than the pain relief. But a wife and kids requires you have your wits about you. I come from a long line of alcoholic/chemical dependency type genetics so even when a teenager I was going to Ala-teen. My father sent me there to learn about this curse and so I was always aware of my predisposition for it.

It isn't the first time either. I got hit by a drunk driver and the doctor had me on two different medications that I stopped taking because they made me stupid. He said it was part of the treatment and if I didn't do it he was no longer going to be my doctor. So we parted ways. This is a problem that requires counseling with people that know what they are doing. Maybe the doctor. Maybe a chemical dependency group. Maybe a pain clinic support group. Maybe a counsellor with this background.

But when you are faced with a problem you don't know how to handle, it is a good idea to go to the people that have a lot of experience with it. Lastly, get his prescription filled one more time and send it up here to me. I will run it through some tests and see if the quality is adequate. But I need all of the pills to do a complete set of tests.

[keysjangle 145]

But when you are faced with a problem you don't know how to handle, it is a good idea to go to the people that have a lot of experience with it. Lastly, get his prescription filled one more time and send it up here to me. I will run it through some tests and see if the quality is adequate. But I need all of the pills to do a complete set of tests.

Is this some kind of really lame joke?

[Operator 1,927]

But when you are faced with a problem you don't know how to handle, it is a good idea to go to the people that have a lot of experience with it. Lastly, get his prescription filled one more time and send it up here to me. I will run it through some tests and see if the quality is adequate. But I need all of the pills to do a complete set of tests.

Are you serious?

[rlogan 2,036]

The only way you could not understand that quip is by pretending I had not made the rest of the post, in which it is clear I am not even taking my own prescribed pain medication. So the relevant question is why someone would go out of their way to ignore that. The answer is to try putting them on the defensive, and I am not going to do that.

Your problem, not mine.

[keysjangle 145]

Not our problem you have a ####### sense of humour and zero decorum.