Confused

[Miami 0]

Good morning

Today I received NOA2 but to be honest I want to drop though whole thing my finance cheated on me a year ago and had another baby and I have been fighting the decision to leave him for a whole year I'm questioning is he using me I am pregnant with are second child now but honestly I just want to move on with my life I'm tired of this I haven't been able to focus For A whole year on anything but that he cheated I'm really tried I hung in there for a year but nothing has changed I can understand that men cheat but he cheated while I was there I put my life and my kids life on hold for a year to go live in Haiti and thats what I got in return after being there for him and his family I just think it's time to get over it and move on with my life yesterday made it 3 years.

[rodceasar 34]

I remember your previous post about this (I think). Still very sorry to hear about this. Honestly, I think you really need to think about things clearly and if you can deal with this fact as time goes forward. I believe you should go with your gut instinct. This process is hard enough and to possibly be further disappointed after all is done will be tramatizing...

[Steph1988 11]

Wow thats a really crappy situation! I am sorry to hear all this. When i was pregnant with my husbands child ( we werent married at the time) he had to go back home and we were meant to have being filing for a k-1. I was married to my ex at the time and couldnt afford a divorce, i spent what money i had to divorce him so we could get started on our k-1. Well he left me and we didnt get back together until our now son was 3 months old he came back and we ended up getting mattied now we are going through the CR-1 process. Even though things are fine and have been since we got back together, i still feel i was betrayed and we would of already been thorguh this if he had made better choices back then. So now myself him, and our child and my oldest child are suffering being split up until he gets back. It sucks your situation seems alot worse. I can imagine how you must feel. If you are ready to move on cancel the visa process. But make sure you think long and hard before you do this.

[memile 2]

Think hard cause if he cheated while you were there, I can only imagine what does when you are not there.

[Moomin 292]

I'm not telling you what to do - just that I'm sorry you're in the situation with children too. If you don't think he's going to chance then that's your choice and no one has the right to judge you on pulling the plug. Nonetheless I will add that NOA2 makes it all a bit more real and closer. Sometimes it's just nerves and frustration of not being together, other times there's more to it. No matter what it's still going to take a while before NVC gets the petition and it's being forwarded so that atleast buys you some time to consider this through.

My personal opinion about being unfaithful is that you don't hurt the ones you love and care about intentionally. No matter the outcome I do hope you have some supportive people around you right now.

[Nicoco 26]

Do you remember when you first had to say goodbye because you had to go back to the US, or he had to go back to his country? Wasn't it bittersweet? It hurt and tugged at your heart as you wondered what would happen in the future. You felt like a drowning person trying to breathe water as you got on the plane or watched him leave. You felt so empty, yet happy for your future. You may have had to do that goodbye several times. If someone can feel those deep feelings and then cheat, it's not worth it. This whole process is draining enough. If you have to worry about trust and hurt from the past, this sort of thing will be torture, and when you reunite, you will feel like it wasn't worth it. Your soul and your spirit must be so tired from this, stay strong and start a new life. Even I might tolerate cheating, but I think eventually if he cheated on me, I would become so depressed that I would have to end it.

When it comes to the kids, I'm not sure what could be done since their father lives in a different country.

But this is all my personal opinion....

Edited May 26, 2011 by Niing

[Miami 0]

I wanna say thank you for all of your opinions I have some hard thinking to do Thank You

[patient2010 93]

When a person shows you who they are believe them ---Maya Angelou

[Pedro Thiago 2]

If you think about the long-term future of the relationship, it seems like you might have a difficult road ahead considering where you are at this point. Of course, only you know that person and your relationship, but perhaps you should gauge that feeling and go where it honestly leads you. Just my opinion. I hope everything works out for the best for you.