The state of the ME/NA forum

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I never felt bad. All I can say is if this place and the visa process is all it takes to set some of you off, then you must have a truly comfortable, serene life otherwise. I think for a lot of you, youth and inexperience is your main problem. This place, the visa process, is NOTHING in the scheme of things. Life is not on the internet, but a lot of drama is created here.

Edited September 10, 2006 by szsz

[amal 4]

I think it is wonderful that you started this thread. I have doubts it might help but what can it hurt. I am one of those that have been around for a long time. I received such wonderful advice when I found VJ. I have stuck around hoping that maybe I could help when needed. I come away most times very disappointed in what has happened here. I know things change but it doesn't have to be for the worse. There are so many people that still need help and support. If you want drama and thrive on such a thing, can't it be taken elsewhere. Many people will never learn to ignore things they just have to keep feeding it. Ok, I'll stop. I just had to respond to something that is positive. Nice, very nice!!! If such a thing could continue, imagine how many new people (and older members too) would be inspired and helped not discouraged and made afraid to ask for assistance.

Doreen

It's great to see you post again Doreen. I've missed you!!

I really hope that this kindness moves thru the other threads in this forum and is not a dead end here.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

If kindness is going to spread, someone needs to spread it. The most popular thread right now is the train wreak "Henia, how's Algeria?" TIme to take the act on the road if something is supposed to change!

Edited September 10, 2006 by szsz

[AngelK96 0]

If kindness is going to spread, someone needs to spread it. The most popular thread right now is the train wreak "Henia, how's Algeria?" TIme to take the act on the road if something is supposed to change!

VJ Peace Keepers to the rescue

[Sofiyya 1,687]

LOL! That's funny, Angel! Charlie's Angels.

I was thinking along those lines tho. Those who are of like mind need to form a peacekeeping squad that moves inmass into a thread that needs more sweetness and light and posts peaceful platitudes intended to change the karma of the members there.

They will need a seal! Any ideas?

[tnh9479 1]

I never felt bad. All I can say is if this place and the visa process is all it takes to set some of you off, then you must have a truly comfortable, serene life otherwise. I think for a lot of you, youth and inexperience is your main problem. This place, the visa process, is NOTHING in the scheme of things. Life is not on the internet, but a lot of drama is created here.

I TOTALLY agree with you. I wanted to post this a long time ago. I really feel it is a lack of maturity by some of the youngest members here that has really kept a LOT of this going.

[AngelK96 0]

hahah yeah we need a Arabic Sweets Squad to come in wipe out the bad taste.

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

LOL! That's funny, Angel! Charlie's Angels.

I was thinking along those lines tho. Those who are of like mind need to form a peacekeeping squad that moves inmass into a thread that needs more sweetness and light and posts peaceful platitudes intended to change the karma of the members there.

They will need a seal! Any ideas?

how's this?

[Nagishkaw 510]

Peacepipes ,sweat lodges, and good old smudging. If that don't suit ya, call in the cavalry?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Jabree, are you Iroquois?

[Veiled Princess 1]

how's this?

Policing our freedom of speech?

Maybe change the pic to something a little less authoritative we already have a sherif who does a fine job!

[AngelK96 0]

Peacepipes ,sweat lodges, and good old smudging. If that don't suit ya, call in the cavalry?

I don't know Jabree I think that would be too paganism for some. At this point it's going to have to be the cavalry.

[morocco4ever 63]

I joined this group quite some time ago. When our petition was returned to the CIS I was totally lost. I found a wonderful group of friends right here that has given me guidance and encouragement throughout this entire journey.

This is what I want to see again, support for those who need it, guidance for those that are lost. I have in the past posted a few things that probably would have been better unsaid, and for that I also apologize. I hope soon we can have new members not afraid to turn to those of us further advanced in the process for guidance.

Thanks Jean for starting this thread.

[ohiobuck 0]

I have to admit I’ve become ashamed I am associated with many of you and started to hate the thought I was going through such an important process when so many others going through this process act like scum to each other. It’s a shame to be associated with people that would act like this. I am so grateful my husband is done will everything for a few years and I am waiting for him to become a citizen next. But because I cared for others I stayed around and offered honest and as much help as I could. What happened I was attacked by others, some jealous they were not so successful so they thought what did I know or maybe they didn’t want others to get help they didn’t get. But what I really found is others just love to attack so I’ve pulled myself away from VJ and other groups I had joined just to help people. I admit I became defensive and I wish I could’ve shown all of you a class act, because it sure has been lacking in VJ. Not only did I defend myself I found myself for a while trying to defend the few good members I know the rest of you mislead or attacked. I am not ashamed by anything I did, except I wish I had turned the other cheek and not cared so much which made me want to fix this problem. For example I called one person out on lies because that person was publicly telling in VJ one story before their fiancées interview and later started lying and saying a totally different story once their visa was denied. Other members were starting to get confused and worry even more about their own cases. We all worry enough about our own cases, we need to support each other, be honest and not one up each other. This immigration process is hard enough why do most of you want to make this harder on others, why can’t we just support each other and get along. Isn’t it us against the US Government Department of Immigration. I really feel the best way to fix VJ is to set a few ground rules. They should be everyone should respect everyone’s opinions, no lying (honesty) and no personal attacks. Opinions should be shared with an open mind; everyone is free to disagree but no attacks. If you have a problem with someone take it off-line, do not scum up the waters in VJ or other valuable groups. This attacks and problems do not belong here. If members can’t do that they should be kicked out. But the scum persists and until these ground rules are put into place it will not improve so that is why I stay away when I could be helping good people. And this is why I became so ashamed of most of the people in VJ and myself for defending myself and good friends so we can all get back to supporting and helping each other so we are all successful.

Unlike someone else said I can’t just say the good members know who they are. I’ve found most of you think you are good but you show yourself as bad. Most of you don’t see yourself for how you really act because you have no clue how bad you are acting and how shameful you have become. All of us should act the best we can everywhere and this includes: online, VJ, internet groups and the real world. We shouldn’t think being online gives us permission to be bad to others. Plus remember God sees all, even all of us online. I admit I became bad when I fought to fix the problems and tell the truth just to help people. But I found it was all for not and no one cared. Plus I found no one cares one thing about the others personal hell’s they might be going through. What I mean by this is I’ve found VJ to be a bunch of fake people, most only want to have anything to do with you if they think you can help or you will agree with them no matter what they say. So I’ve pulled away from being used, abused and attacked when all I am doing is trying to help. I hope and pray this group will come back to God and realize how wonderful of a group it could become again. But until then I will check in from time to time and keep some foolish hope it’s come around. But I seriously think it will not, too many of you love to hate and attack.

P.S. I hated the Mean Girl stupid slogan from the start, it was tactless and senseless. How could any mean group be positive and result in any good????????????????? Ask yourself that one!!!!!

Please be nice and stop being mean. And try and act mature and like the adults we should be.

I apologize to anyone I’ve hurt if it was an honest mistake, because I only wanted to help and hope you know that. Anyone that wants to keep in contact me and keep in touch I’d love to hear from you and help when I can if I can. And more importantly if VJ turns around to become a good place again please let me know and I will come back and try and help some more people be with their loves. Because in the end that’s all that matters. Please be nice and stop being mean. And try and be mature.

Paula

[noura 0]

Paula, I agree w/ everything you've said, and yes, I found myself in the midst of some of this crud, slinging poo along w/ the rest - for that I am ashamed and upset w/ myself. While I can't go back and change any of it, I *can* apologize to those I may have offended and move forward from here in a new light w/ a more positive attitude. It's just not fitting of anyone of any *religious* belief to be mean and hateful to another human, no matter what the circumstances are. It is a show of dignity and respect to be the bigger person in these situations and turn the other cheek, walk away, refrain from stooping to these levels of nonsensical actions.

I do hope and pray that this forum - not just this thread- will return to what it is meant to be - a place of support, knowledge, and comraderie for those going thru a painful process to be w/ the ones we love. I, for one, refuse to support the trash that has become this forum.... and I intend to walk away (or back away from the computer) in the instance of these "train wrecks". INCH'ALLAH!