The state of the ME/NA forum

[Jenn! 918]

Yes, I see your point. But why should threads that are really not relevant to the MENA forum, and are rather just personal attacks between members really be in the MENA forum? It is not really "our shiznit" when it's only a few members that are stirring things up. If this sort of thing were in OT, each member really would be responsible for herself without dragging the whole MENA forum down with her.

I guess I was trying to *own* the problem by calling it our shiznit. Most have participated, myself certainly included. Just because now many of us agree, this is a problem to be dealt with, does not mean we can just remove the issue from where its housed. If members want to battle it out and its crossing the line, report it, and ignore it. It will eventually die itself out if we pay it no mind. The members who continue to act and react in the childish way will isolate themselves.

You're right. I've participated as well, and I wouldn't want to try to claim that it's only a few that have spoiled it for the rest of us. We do have to own this problem.

On the other hand, I think many of the wars here have been exacerbated by non-MENA members that have participated in the threads as well. These threads may start off as MENA-specific, but turn into train wrecks that no longer have anything to do with the intended use of the MENA forum.

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

The offer was extended at one point to require a password of some sort to access this section in an attempt to restrict access to those who just want to cause trouble and it was rejected... let's not complain about others coming in now....

Before anyone takes offense to the "outsiders" comment. I'm not talking about people who just come into read and post in MENA, that's great! I'm talking about those who come in with the sole purpose of riling everyone up, I'm thinking people like type2, and I'm sure he won't mind being called out on that. I was in no way trying to complain about others coming in. I'm really just trying to figure out some plan of action to get the MENA forum back again, not start another flame war.

[babybunny 2]

I am extending the olive branch here. I would like to say sorry for any ill will. although somethings are said mostly because, sometimes when backed in a corner you have to defend yourself. at the sametime its not nice to be pushed in that same corner. so starting here. shonnie is comming with a sincere heart. and publicly appoligzing. take it for what its worh or not. I think we all have said things on how we feel were we stand on issues and what not. I think there are no secrets its all old dubage. moving forward- turning the page. once again sorry to each one of you..-good day. shonnie..

who are you and what did you do with shon?

jk

Things are spinning out of control. it takes alot to appolize sometimes. but, I am trying my best

to do that. even if it means nothing right now to those I have treaded on and hurt. I am moving forward.

if somthing happend to me. I really dont want a reputation of something I am not. tears flow

when I type this this is all ####### i wish it could stop we all could be friends of not then at least be civil.

I weep because, I know full well this is not how you ladies are. you all enjoy nice things and have

loving hearts -please please let it shine...

[LaL 418]

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

Well, certainly it would be a by-product of it, but even if *outsiders* come in, does it really matter? We are ignoring it

just an aside - I am soured regarding the notion of outsiders, although I know it bothers some greatly that others find humor in the broken parts of some relationships here.

[type2negative 0]

Do you realize I tried to do a search last night for information. One of the keywords I used pulled up nothing but endless threads of your catty bickering. Do you realize how many people, not even VJ members are reading your twaddle???? Are you proud of this??? Its out there on the internet now! Its representative of VJ. I'm not proud of things I've said here in the past for just this very reason. It will always stand as a testament to my weaker moments and I'm personally ashamed of it. Aren't YOU? Please just try to remember you are not the only one's on this forum. If I wanted a shallow, childish and downright stupid display of lack deceny I would go sit in a Yahoo chatroom... NOT VJ.

\

A little bit.

[Together4ever 1]

Yes, I see your point. But why should threads that are really not relevant to the MENA forum, and are rather just personal attacks between members really be in the MENA forum? It is not really "our shiznit" when it's only a few members that are stirring things up. If this sort of thing were in OT, each member really would be responsible for herself without dragging the whole MENA forum down with her.

I guess I was trying to *own* the problem by calling it our shiznit. Most have participated, myself certainly included. Just because now many of us agree, this is a problem to be dealt with, does not mean we can just remove the issue from where its housed. If members want to battle it out and its crossing the line, report it, and ignore it. It will eventually die itself out if we pay it no mind. The members who continue to act and react in the childish way will isolate themselves.

You're right. I've participated as well, and I wouldn't want to try to claim that it's only a few that have spoiled it for the rest of us. We do have to own this problem.

On the other hand, I think many of the wars here have been exacerbated by non-MENA members that have participated in the threads as well. These threads may start off as MENA-specific, but turn into train wrecks that no longer have anything to do with the intended use of the MENA forum.

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

The offer was extended at one point to require a password of some sort to access this section in an attempt to restrict access to those who just want to cause trouble and it was rejected... let's not complain about others coming in now....

Before anyone takes offense to the "outsiders" comment. I'm not talking about people who just come into read and post in MENA, that's great! I'm talking about those who come in with the sole purpose of riling everyone up, I'm thinking people like type2, and I'm sure he won't mind being called out on that. I was in no way trying to complain about others coming in. I'm really just trying to figure out some plan of action to get the MENA forum back again, not start another flame war.

Jenn, I think what it all boils down to is being able to take some kind of personal responsibility for our own actions. There are those simply won't do it, or don't care. We can never stop that. We can only take responsibility for how WE handle it on a personal and individual level. I understood what you meant. I too don't think anyone should ever be excluded from the ME/NA forum via password or anything else.

Now, that said, I can say that when you are struggling with the frustrations and anxieties of this visa process, trying to be clear headed and personally responsible isn't that easy. I'm a shining example of it. But look at what we have here now. We have people, like Shon, who are big enough to come forward responsibly and say "I was wrong and I'm sorry and let's move forward in a positive light."

As for the flamers and pot-stirrers, I agree with those who have already stated it. Not reacting to it is the best way to stop it. Again, not easy sometimes when you are agonizing over the WHEN the stupid visa will come and you want break things.

It's just so wonderful to see people posting that have not for awhile and something a bit more positive.

[ceriserose 1]

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

Well, certainly it would be a by-product of it, but even if *outsiders* come in, does it really matter? We are ignoring it

just an aside - I am soured regarding the notion of outsiders, although I know it bothers some greatly that others find humor in the broken parts of some relationships here.

As an outsider I can completely understand from where you're coming. Even though I doubt it applies to outsiders such as myself.

I hope you all can get your forum back to where you need it to be supportive to one another.

Yes, I see your point. But why should threads that are really not relevant to the MENA forum, and are rather just personal attacks between members really be in the MENA forum? It is not really "our shiznit" when it's only a few members that are stirring things up. If this sort of thing were in OT, each member really would be responsible for herself without dragging the whole MENA forum down with her.

I guess I was trying to *own* the problem by calling it our shiznit. Most have participated, myself certainly included. Just because now many of us agree, this is a problem to be dealt with, does not mean we can just remove the issue from where its housed. If members want to battle it out and its crossing the line, report it, and ignore it. It will eventually die itself out if we pay it no mind. The members who continue to act and react in the childish way will isolate themselves.

You're right. I've participated as well, and I wouldn't want to try to claim that it's only a few that have spoiled it for the rest of us. We do have to own this problem.

On the other hand, I think many of the wars here have been exacerbated by non-MENA members that have participated in the threads as well. These threads may start off as MENA-specific, but turn into train wrecks that no longer have anything to do with the intended use of the MENA forum.

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

The offer was extended at one point to require a password of some sort to access this section in an attempt to restrict access to those who just want to cause trouble and it was rejected... let's not complain about others coming in now....

Before anyone takes offense to the "outsiders" comment. I'm not talking about people who just come into read and post in MENA, that's great! I'm talking about those who come in with the sole purpose of riling everyone up, I'm thinking people like type2, and I'm sure he won't mind being called out on that. I was in no way trying to complain about others coming in. I'm really just trying to figure out some plan of action to get the MENA forum back again, not start another flame war.

Jenn, I think what it all boils down to is being able to take some kind of personal responsibility for our own actions. There are those simply won't do it, or don't care. We can never stop that. We can only take responsibility for how WE handle it on a personal and individual level. I understood what you meant. I too don't think anyone should ever be excluded from the ME/NA forum via password or anything else.

Now, that said, I can say that when you are struggling with the frustrations and anxieties of this visa process, trying to be clear headed and personally responsible isn't that easy. I'm a shining example of it. But look at what we have here now. We have people, like Shon, who are big enough to come forward responsibly and say "I was wrong and I'm sorry and let's move forward in a positive light."

As for the flamers and pot-stirrers, I agree with those who have already stated it. Not reacting to it is the best way to stop it. Again, not easy sometimes when you are agonizing over the WHEN the stupid visa will come and you want break things.

It's just so wonderful to see people posting that have not for awhile and something a bit more positive.

I think you did a great job with starting this thread as well as the bolded statements above. It's not so much different from real life; you can't change everyone else, just yourself.

Again, good luck fixing what's broken.

[babybunny 2]

[ Are you proud of this???

A little bit.

no I dont think anyone is proud.

there was a time when this thread was good. people did not argues like this.

there were stong friendships that have been formed and some of those friendships

are broken. trusts have been violated - in alot of cases accidently. moving forward.

we all agree that is bad things have to change pretty quick and for the better.

I am in favor of begging Ewok to remove alot of the threads < poo poo slinging ones >

we all said what we feel. kicked poo every direction. make peace and move on to better things.

[Nagishkaw 510]

As for the flame throwers and particularly the pot stirrers, they will just follow you around to even more threads.Yup its never too late to resolve things.

I resolve not to trick anyone into believing I'am smarter than I really am, and I resolve to keep blaming USCIS for all my personal problems.

Save the comebacks, kids. I'm out. I feel the urgent need to find some sturdy oak and perhaps some galvinized nails. God Bless.

[chiquita 0]

Perhaps remove the united part?

And stop trying to cause trouble

That gets my vote.

As we can see, there will always be those who want to see discord here. Once again I say...IGNORE THEM. They love the attention. Can't we all see that?? Don't let them under your skin people and they will go away. Even if someone irks you...forget it, is your health worth their glee?? I hope not.

This forum is what we make it. If trouble makers come in, they will leave fast enough when they see we will not respond to their #######.

Best wishes to all!!!

Hugs

chi

I am extending the olive branch here. I would like to say sorry for any ill will. although somethings are said mostly because, sometimes when backed in a corner you have to defend yourself. at the sametime its not nice to be pushed in that same corner. so starting here. shonnie is comming with a sincere heart. and publicly appoligzing. take it for what its worh or not. I think we all have said things on how we feel were we stand on issues and what not. I think there are no secrets its all old dubage. moving forward- turning the page. once again sorry to each one of you..-good day. shonnie..

now if everyone could just follow suit things might ease up 'round here...maybe this will be the beginning of a new trend.....

I am all for it!!!!!!!

chi

[Together4ever 1]

As for the flame throwers and particularly the pot stirrers, they will just follow you around to even more threads.Yup its never too late to resolve things.

I resolve not to trick anyone into believing I'am smarter than I really am, and I resolve to keep blaming USCIS for all my personal problems.

Save the comebacks, kids. I'm out. I feel the urgent need to find some sturdy oak and perhaps some galvinized nails. God Bless.

*follows jabree quietly with a pair of pliers*

Now if only we could drag this lovely sensibility into the other thread which is currently a trainwreck of flaming and taking things to a personal level where people are gleefully tearing yet another member to shreds...

Edited September 9, 2006 by just_waiting

[chiquita 0]

I think a good start to getting the MENA forum back to the way it used to be would be moving these threads that get out of hand to off-topic.

but isn't that like dumping our shiznit into another forum? I would suggest IGNORING as much as possible. I am taking my own advice and hope to improve the situation in my own small way. I guess just be responsible.

Great!!! This is what we all need to do!!

chi

[Veiled Princess 1]

*follows jabree quietly with a pair of pliers*

Whatcha gonna do with the pliers sis????

[chiquita 0]

Yes, I see your point. But why should threads that are really not relevant to the MENA forum, and are rather just personal attacks between members really be in the MENA forum? It is not really "our shiznit" when it's only a few members that are stirring things up. If this sort of thing were in OT, each member really would be responsible for herself without dragging the whole MENA forum down with her.

I guess I was trying to *own* the problem by calling it our shiznit. Most have participated, myself certainly included. Just because now many of us agree, this is a problem to be dealt with, does not mean we can just remove the issue from where its housed. If members want to battle it out and its crossing the line, report it, and ignore it. It will eventually die itself out if we pay it no mind. The members who continue to act and react in the childish way will isolate themselves.

You're right. I've participated as well, and I wouldn't want to try to claim that it's only a few that have spoiled it for the rest of us. We do have to own this problem.

On the other hand, I think many of the wars here have been exacerbated by non-MENA members that have participated in the threads as well. These threads may start off as MENA-specific, but turn into train wrecks that no longer have anything to do with the intended use of the MENA forum.

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

We are on our way to this right now!!

Way to cool!

chi

[type2negative 0]

We need a new leader here.

A Man........

A Prince.....

no I dont think anyone is proud.

there was a time when this thread was good. people did not argues like this.

there were stong friendships that have been formed and some of those friendships

are broken. trusts have been violated - in alot of cases accidently. moving forward.

we all agree that is bad things have to change pretty quick and for the better.

I am in favor of begging Ewok to remove alot of the threads < poo poo slinging ones >

we all said what we feel. kicked poo every direction. make peace and move on to better things.

So I better start saving all ths stuff on my computer. For Posterity.

Edited September 9, 2006 by type2negative

[chiquita 0]

Yes, I see your point. But why should threads that are really not relevant to the MENA forum, and are rather just personal attacks between members really be in the MENA forum? It is not really "our shiznit" when it's only a few members that are stirring things up. If this sort of thing were in OT, each member really would be responsible for herself without dragging the whole MENA forum down with her.

I guess I was trying to *own* the problem by calling it our shiznit. Most have participated, myself certainly included. Just because now many of us agree, this is a problem to be dealt with, does not mean we can just remove the issue from where its housed. If members want to battle it out and its crossing the line, report it, and ignore it. It will eventually die itself out if we pay it no mind. The members who continue to act and react in the childish way will isolate themselves.

You're right. I've participated as well, and I wouldn't want to try to claim that it's only a few that have spoiled it for the rest of us. We do have to own this problem.

On the other hand, I think many of the wars here have been exacerbated by non-MENA members that have participated in the threads as well. These threads may start off as MENA-specific, but turn into train wrecks that no longer have anything to do with the intended use of the MENA forum.

ETA: I suppose I don't have three hands, but on the other hand. I see what you're getting at. If MENA members "take back" the forum, there will be no reason for the "outsiders" to come in, because it would prove to be pretty boring for them.

The offer was extended at one point to require a password of some sort to access this section in an attempt to restrict access to those who just want to cause trouble and it was rejected... let's not complain about others coming in now....

Before anyone takes offense to the "outsiders" comment. I'm not talking about people who just come into read and post in MENA, that's great! I'm talking about those who come in with the sole purpose of riling everyone up, I'm thinking people like type2, and I'm sure he won't mind being called out on that. I was in no way trying to complain about others coming in. I'm really just trying to figure out some plan of action to get the MENA forum back again, not start another flame war.

I agree totally with you. Everyond should be welcome. But when someone comes in and starts trouble, as they say>>>nip it in the bud.

Don't respond at all. Continue on as if they never posted. If you treat them as invisable they will not get what they want...ie your ire and move on. So many times we say>>>

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS

Yet we do feed them. Let them get their food somewhere else. Don't let them take "yours" so to speak.

Hugs to all

chi