court-less relationship

[rlogan 2,036]

my boys and girls

I feel proud to be a child owned by his majesty.

I've been in the running for world record stupid with some of the things I have done. The very worst of it was being naiive, gullible, and trusting of manipulative people and that is why I resolved myself to studying the professional literature. When you have a personality defect, the best you can do is admit it and get help from people that know what they're doing.

The one thing that was hard to accept, but the research is emphatic on this - manipulators invariably pose themselves as having lily-white intentions and of morals beyond reproach. But inside is a cold, cruel, calculating cynnical machine that doesn't have empathy for others. People are objects to attain ends. They know they must show a front of feelings towards others so sure, they repeat endlessly their love of humanity and that they would never, ever abuse anyone intentionally. Nothing is ever their fault and they're always the victim when situations turn out bad. Like others who save for retirement and go to college for better employment, they have long range plans and take actions today that even years later can be used to "prove" their innocence when in fact they have been viciously calculating for a very long time.

Occasionally a bit of the underlying nature exposes itself, and it is usually when the manipulator has lost composure. Generally what they are doing is working deceptively and ideally very subtly to provoke others' emotions into getting the best of them. Once your emotions take over, they have you beat. So here with this patronizing and condescending "my boys and girls" it's a little too over-the-top for a skilled manipulator in complete command of his program. It is a signal of losing one's cool. Another signal is when they keep trying the same tactic over and over again even though it isn't working because they don't know what else to do and they've become desperate.

It will be a surprise to many that there is something very dark on the inside here. Rage, even. I just had no appreciation for this point despite the literature I was reading until I had cornered a couple of the most skilled manipulators in my life and my God what I saw frightened me. On the outside was this cool exterior they had worked for decades to construct in order to deceive people. But when you had the tools to pull back that mask there was an explosive hatred on the inside that was the engine driving all this manipulative behavior.

You see the classic baiting of people here into very natural responses, and then playing the victim when it was you who instigated that very thing in the first place - and desired exactly those responses so that you could use it against them. You have to look upon people as objects in order to act this way. If you actually have compassion for others then you deal with them honestly and above-board. It takes a black heart to be manipulative, and sometimes the most vicious predator is disguised as the least threatening. If you look at Ted Bundy or the Green River killer, they were amazingly disarming in their countenance yet were savage murderers underneath.

I am not saying at all we have this here, but instead do not be surprised at the amount of darkness under the surface.

[angel7407 33]

bored at home, homesick, and the many others makeup mood are the results of poor romanticism/poor courtship. When couples are in harmony and very happy the entire universe, literally, belong to them.

Any one wants to beat that one?

Just my 2 cents

A complete s....d statement, really. I think it comes from a heartless person who cannot differentiate what is love, homesickness, boredom, romanticism and happiness means. When your fiancée will be here, that's the time that you can differentiate those things, I guess. When that comes, I hope you are still in your proper mind setting. I guess everyday you are in a "dreaming mode" trying to figure out if your relationship is good or not...or worse "courtship-less" or "courtship-ful"???? I am guessing you're so confused or in self denial?

[angel7407 33]

Can you be bored constantly when you are with the person "you think you love". Next.

Boys and girls don't give me so much credit. It is all in the pudding!

Trust me, they will be so bored if the person they are together with is you. That's why your fiancée won't come here until her child will be together with her because she doesn't want to be alone with you, or else she will die of boredom and homesickness because of your nonsense talks. Gets mo?

[sunandmoon 450]

hopeless cause...

[angel7407 33]

I STAND by my *OPINION + REASONING* when love is very strong..the thing people call bored home-sick is non-existence. Yes love can be giving but when some one is in love? all those excuses disappear.

Boys & Girls I am giving you free lecture about the whole situation. Learn and analyze as much as you can while I supplies last.

It takes like honey it feels like honey but it is not Pure Honey or in Slang "it aint Pure Honey!"

My 2 cents for now boys and girls.

When the heart is full, the mouth will speak. That is what you are experiencing now, that's why you are letting it out "indirectly" here on VJ, indirect venting, so to speak. Your fiancee tastes like honey and feels like honey, but ain't really honey or it's a fake honey???? I'm guessing she's from sugarcane and not from the honey bees that's why it's fake...hehehe! You just know now that's it's fake? Too bad!

[jrmejia 31]

To that I reply:

If my post was so deplorable why did you follow it? If something irritates me, like in the case this post did you, it is because something bothers me. So after you started to attack me, some one could makes the assumption that you are in some kind of confusable situation.

So you see, you created this mess and now you want to blame me.

Yes go ahead and use me as a gulf's ball (opss....golf's) and kick me left and right

My 2 cents boys and girls.!

Stay tune. Next time I will be using your own quotes about this confusable situation.

Edited May 24, 2011 by jrmejia

[graceroxas 17]

OP --- Your ramblings somehow remind me of Rumi,the Sufi mystic-poet, though I'm pretty sure you're channeling him unintentionally That's a compliment btw.

Grace

Edited May 24, 2011 by graceroxas

[jrmejia 31]

You are getting ahead of yourself. Slow down for a bit.

[Ban Hammer 12,921]

[Krikit 1,163]

+1 to Charles.

There are TOS violations in this thread which should not be repeated...... please and thank you. OP, you know you are on our radar when two mods have posted. Just a heads up for you.

[jrmejia 31]

Hey read carefully, I used the word *opinion*. So read careful. I can have my own opinion about anything I like. It is just an opinion.

Edited May 24, 2011 by jrmejia

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

OP --- Your ramblings somehow remind me of Rumi,the Sufi mystic-poet, though I'm pretty sure you're channeling him unintentionally That's a compliment btw.

Grace

Are you being facetious?

Rumi attempted to enlighten/ not cast doubt. Rumi encouraged hope/ not paranoia. Rumi eloquently championed the beauty of love/ not rambling dribbling malaise.

Rumi imparted a higher awareness. Another does not possess the relationship experience with which to impart wisdom .

Comparison? NO

Contrast? YES

Edited May 24, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

+1 to Charles.

There are TOS violations in this thread which should not be repeated...... please and thank you. OP, you know you are on our radar when two mods have posted. Just a heads up for you.

Is it possible for an OP to be thread banned from their own thread? if yes, Sweeeeeeet.

[John&Juvy 36]

Hey read carefully, I use the word *opinion*. So read careful. I can have my own opinion about anything I like. It is just an opinion.

I think your opinion is your own doubt with your own fiancee lol. Which is understandable, specially if you only met her once and only for 1 week. You should be asking other quistion rather than the home sickness of other people here and judging and scaling their love over that . So ignorant.

[jrmejia 31]

Let me clarify:

I posted an opinion out there and you guys took it as if you are feeling some guilt or experiencing something down the line.

You attacked me and now I need to pay the price? I don't get it.

In many occasions, I used the word "opinion" to calm your ego.

Administrators should read carefully and see how you started to attack. I never went and attacked you guys! .hmmmmmmmm

Edited May 24, 2011 by jrmejia