American Men Think They’re Better in Bed Than They Actually Are

[Captain Oates 910]

Nor should you be. We're such meek, mild creatures, swanning about in states of dishabille, thinking about how best to please you, and never, ever talking back or in more than a girlish giggle.

*giggle*

EXTREME WARNING TO ALL CHAPS

The above words are a total virus in your head

forget all of those words now or live in sheer misery - do not listen to the siren call

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[

Edited May 27, 2011 by Alan the Red

[Krikit 1,164]

EXTREME WARNING TO ALL CHAPS

The above words are a total virus in your head

forget all of those words now or live in sheer misery - do not listen to the siren call

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[

I think you're posting in the wrong forum.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

It's already too late for the men in here. It's the single men you need to address, Alan, and there's precious few of them on here.

You might have some luck in the K1 forum -- get then before they commit.

*giggle*

[Captain Oates 910]

I think you're posting in the wrong forum.

You are right - its too late for us

yes the K1 ers are in most danger

but their eyes are clouded with thoughts of beer (already opened) and bags of crips and house crowns and slippers with rabbits ears on them and women's closets cleared out to make way for rifles

The whippersnappers won't listen

It's too late

[Fandango 1,439]

You couldn't handle it honey. I would rock your pc world and call you bad names while you begged for more. I would make you daddy's bad little girl.

American Men Think They're Better in Bed Than They Actually Are

Case closed.

Oh, by the way...there's not enough ripple on the planet which would get you that privilege. Don't forget: I don't need a GC.

Edited May 28, 2011 by Anita Cocktail

[Captain Oates 910]

Case closed.

Oh, by the way...there's not enough ripple on the planet which would get you that privilege. Don't forget: I don't need a GC.

I like the American male wooing style as it leaves the field open for us James Bonds.

Just not being smacked across the hinterland with a dusty stetson as a howdy-doo must be a nice change for the Ameritotty

[Fandango 1,439]

I like the American male wooing style as it leaves the field open for us James Bonds.

Just not being smacked across the hinterland with a dusty stetson as a howdy-doo must be a nice change for the Ameritotty

Yanno, I'm not going to bash American men as a whole - after all, I'm married to one. He's a gorgeous, sophisticated, rugged, intelligent, respectful, FIT, hot, sexy, clever, sweet, thoughtful, etc etc etc man. Looks great in a suit, takes care of his family, takes care of his physical appearance...who quite literally wooed the pants right off me.

But hey, let's all sit around and talk about how 'real' men scratch their balls in public and don't give a fuque.

[Captain Oates 910]

But hey, let's all sit around and talk about how 'real' men scratch their balls in public and don't give a fuque.

I am sure you are Fergie

Perhaps it's just that you went to the same Swiss Finishing School

Edited May 28, 2011 by Alan the Red

[Ban Hammer 13,251]

But hey, let's all sit around and talk about how 'real' men scratch their balls in public and don't give a fuque.

i don't have to be in public to not give a fuque.

[Captain Oates 910]

i don't have to be in public to not give a fuque.

I am working on acquiring that habit and buying some chewing tobacco so I can be better integrated into American culture

I am also turning the bathroom into a gun room and building an outhouse from old palettes for the same reason

Foreigners who come into the country should integrate culturally and I am a buying a larger frying pan so I can fry groundhogs, ground squirrels and baby chipmunks

Edited May 28, 2011 by Alan the Red

[_Simpson_ 250]

I am working on acquiring that habit and buying some chewing tobacco so I can be better integrated into American culture

I am also turning the bathroom into a gun room and building an outhouse from old palettes for the same reason

Foreigners who come into the country should integrate culturally and I am a buying a larger frying pan so I can fry groundhogs, ground squirrels and baby chipmunks

This reminds me of a song and a good song at that. Louisiana Saturday Night.

"Waiting in the front yard, sitting on a log;

Single shot rifle and a one-eyed dog.

Yonder come my kin folk in the moonlight:

Louisiana Saturday night."

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=lousiana+saturday+night&aq=f

Edited May 28, 2011 by _Simpson_

[thongd4me 69]

I am working on acquiring that habit and buying some chewing tobacco so I can be better integrated into American culture

I am also turning the bathroom into a gun room and building an outhouse from old palettes for the same reason

Foreigners who come into the country should integrate culturally and I am a buying a larger frying pan so I can fry groundhogs, ground squirrels and baby chipmunks

Don't fergit the speakers on the outside of yer rusty Ford pickup truck blaring "Dueling Banjos"

It's whut yew play afore ya kill the ferriners...

[Captain Oates 910]

Sorry bout that - I need git a fixin on not talking like these educted librals who use handkerchiefs when their smocks still have sleeves... I need to get drunk afore I post so I can stop all this fernickity tendercy to not use obsenetys and then I can change my handerl to something hincorperating alcohol like ginlady or vermouth-mouth or alerbammy mammy

Edited May 28, 2011 by Alan the Red

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Yanno, I'm not going to bash American men as a whole - after all, I'm married to one. He's a gorgeous, sophisticated, rugged, intelligent, respectful, FIT, hot, sexy, clever, sweet, thoughtful, etc etc etc man. Looks great in a suit, takes care of his family, takes care of his physical appearance...who quite literally wooed the pants right off me.

Just curious is all...but was your vibrator in your left hand or right one when you had this fantasy ?

[Captain Oates 910]

Just curious is all...but was your vibrator in your left hand or right one when you had this fantasy ?

I have it good authority from very many women that the perfect man does not exist. My mother said I was as close as it gets and even I am not that good. So I agree that this is pie in the sky and all me eye and Betty Martin

I had my gums cut open last week and they prescribed me some oxycontin - but even if i did the whole bottle by the unapproved method, I still couldn't come up with this much euphoria

She had better not talk like that too much or every woman in the western world will be hiding in their bushes scantily clad and a fixin to steal him