Mental Illness

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

When spouses arrive here sometimes there are adjustment issues that I now believe may not be just because of coming to a new place.

There have been several instances of spousal abuse, drug abuse on the boards over the last 5 years. Mental illness such as depressive illness or bi polar may be the reason that the petitioned person has behaved erratically.

I personally believe that if mental illness has not been disclosed, that there should be an easy out out of sponsorship but the illness could emerge under periods of transition or stress like bi polar.

I havent seen this topic brought up before but I think its a good one to talk about.

Alot of times mental illness is attributed to djins or spiritual possesion in many parts of mena but they are making great strides in the field of mental illness in Morocco and other countries. The national hospital in Morocco is BERSHID or BERCHID.

[sandinista! 1,816]

1)yes, he suffers from an uncompromising obsession with cheesy sci-fi and zombie b-movies

2)no meds have ever been needed, netflix and redbox have sufficed. so far.

3)some of his selections from netflix and redbox i would consider erratic, yes. a waste of a dollar, a waste of an hour and a half, etc. and punctuated by moments of clarity and good taste, like when he watched wild strawberries and the bicycle thief a couple weeks ago.

[msheesha 548]

1)yes, he suffers from an uncompromising obsession with cheesy sci-fi and zombie b-movies

2)no meds have ever been needed, netflix and redbox have sufficed. so far.

3)some of his selections from netflix and redbox i would consider erratic, yes. a waste of a dollar, a waste of an hour and a half, etc. and punctuated by moments of clarity and good taste, like when he watched wild strawberries and the bicycle thief a couple weeks ago.

But, how are his teeth? Do they contribute to his obsessive sci-fi disorder?

[sandinista! 1,816]

But, how are his teeth? Do they contribute to his obsessive sci-fi disorder?

he did need a filling once, about 4 years ago. my God, that's when the whole movie thing started. you don't think..the two..could be related? what have we stumbled onto here?

[msheesha 548]

What else could it be, but the teeth?

[Mithra 1,185]

HIT, is this a recent discovery? The mental illness thing? I mean no offense by this truly, but your husband (not sure if he's an ex yet)didn't sound too with it when you talked about him before he got to the states. A lot of the relationships that ended up wonky around here were kinda obvious before the husband/fiance arrived. I guess love truly is blind (and deaf) because a whole lot of bad behavior that was ignored by the wife/fiancee was totally obvious to those on the board.

My husband also has some questionable TV show/movie taste, lol.

In all seriousness, I can't say that my husband has shown signs of what would be considered clinical depression but more disappointment or the "blues" when job hunting wasn't going well or he had issues at work.

[Jenn! 918]

In all seriousness, I can't say that my husband has shown signs of what would be considered clinical depression but more disappointment or the "blues" when job hunting wasn't going well or he had issues at work.

I agree, I think. I don't know enough about depression to say one way or the other, but my husband has at times been depressed - mostly due to not being as successful as he hoped as quickly as he had hoped.

[msheesha 548]

Also, how many women had a great pattern of non-abusive, healthy, mutually beneficial relationships with in-the-US men, and then broke that amazing pattern to marry a crazy, abusive MENA man. It seems more logical the answer to these crazy, fubar relationships, is in the pattern of similar relationships rather than the visa/MENA aspect of it. But, why look at your own pattern of behavior when you can blame things like culture, religion, undetected mental illness, and teeth?

On a serious note, in the interest of people who come onto the boards seeking serious and truthful information, I would encourage them to examine whether the abusive, crazy, unhealthy relationships are not borne out of the visa/MENA aspect of it, but out of really crazy patterns of behavior and relationships that existed BEFORE choosing a MENA spouse.

[Lisamarie 79]

HIT, I think you are lonely, disappointed, sad, bitter (to some degree), and all the emotions that come with what you went through with your whole MENA process and failed marriage. I completely understand your feelings, but I feel that your posts aren't getting any support or merit here, and to be honest, I have been finding it difficult to read them because even though I understand where you're coming from, it's the same negativity over and over again...thus the comments you are receiving on them.

Have you ever tried blogging? Blogging is a wonderful way to get out your emotions and thoughts. There are many blogging sites, and most of them have large communities that are friendly and supportive. There is Blogger, Multiply, Wordpress, just to mention a few.

Please don't take offense, and it's just a suggestion;)

When spouses arrive here sometimes there are adjustment issues that I now believe may not be just because of coming to a new place.

There have been several instances of spousal abuse, drug abuse on the boards over the last 5 years. Mental illness such as depressive illness or bi polar may be the reason that the petitioned person has behaved erratically.

I personally believe that if mental illness has not been disclosed, that there should be an easy out out of sponsorship but the illness could emerge under periods of transition or stress like bi polar.

I havent seen this topic brought up before but I think its a good one to talk about.

Alot of times mental illness is attributed to djins or spiritual possesion in many parts of mena but they are making great strides in the field of mental illness in Morocco and other countries. The national hospital in Morocco is BERSHID or BERCHID.

[Mithra 1,185]

ITA. We don't have to name names around here to know which ppl had experience with f'ed up relationships prior to getting involved with a MENA guy or another MENA guy.

I think we should do a poll of ppl who have been in relatively "normal" relationships (non abusive, low drama, no substance abuse, etc.) prior to the MENA/immigration related relationship vs. those who have always had f'ed up relationships. I suck at setting up polls though. The poll could also include upbringing, too. I do believe upbringing has something to do with the mates we choose as well. Not always but a lot of times.

Also, how many women had a great pattern of non-abusive, healthy, mutually beneficial relationships with in-the-US men, and then broke that amazing pattern to marry a crazy, abusive MENA man. It seems more logical the answer to these crazy, fubar relationships, is in the pattern of similar relationships rather than the visa/MENA aspect of it. But, why look at your own pattern of behavior when you can blame things like culture, religion, undetected mental illness, and teeth?

On a serious note, in the interest of people who come onto the boards seeking serious and truthful information, I would encourage them to examine whether the abusive, crazy, unhealthy relationships are not borne out of the visa/MENA aspect of it, but out of really crazy patterns of behavior and relationships that existed BEFORE choosing a MENA spouse.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

HIT, is this a recent discovery? The mental illness thing? I mean no offense by this truly, but your husband (not sure if he's an ex yet)didn't sound too with it when you talked about him before he got to the states. A lot of the relationships that ended up wonky around here were kinda obvious before the husband/fiance arrived. I guess love truly is blind (and deaf) because a whole lot of bad behavior that was ignored by the wife/fiancee was totally obvious to those on the board.

My husband also has some questionable TV show/movie taste, lol.

In all seriousness, I can't say that my husband has shown signs of what would be considered clinical depression but more disappointment or the "blues" when job hunting wasn't going well or he had issues at work.

No, but after he began to have teeth extracted, so far 13 and get anti biotic treatment as well as treatment for his heart and blood pressure regulation, he did seem to do better. I absolutely think that mental health help can help with alot of the transition problems. Severe abcesses, broken teeth and internal infections can affect your heart. He also had an undiagnosed hiatal hernia which caused alot of other health problems . The treatment I was able to help him get in the states, fillings, extractions and medicine regulation changed alot and he has been incredibly apologetic as he got better.

No we are not still together in the couple sense. I am however very kind to him and so is my family. The horrible abessses he had were as a result of never having dental care back home and he did not know how bad they were until he got to a dentist and his trip to the dentist here was the first one he ever had in his life. Bad teeth and losing teeth and horrible infections are not uncommon in North Africa and they can cause alot of other health problems.

I think considering what I went through that I have gone above and beyond what alot of people would have done. I never would have thought that I could shoulder what I did but I did. I did the right thing by him. That can be very hard when you are hurt

[Mithra 1,185]

I honestly don't know how the teeth affects personality or makes one crazy or abusive. My dad has always had issues with his teeth and had to have a few extracted before his most recent heart surgery. He's never laid a hand on my mother (they've been married 41 yrs) nor has he been "crazy" acting. He's actually a pretty mellow dude even when he still had the problem teeth in his mouth. There goes that theory...

Edited May 19, 2011 by Mithra

[msheesha 548]

ITA. We don't have to name names around here to know which ppl had experience with f'ed up relationships prior to getting involved with a MENA guy or another MENA guy.

I think we should do a poll of ppl who have been in relatively "normal" relationships (non abusive, low drama, no substance abuse, etc.) prior to the MENA/immigration related relationship vs. those who have always had f'ed up relationships. I suck at setting up polls though. The poll could also include upbringing, too. I do believe upbringing has something to do with the mates we choose as well. Not always but a lot of times.

I'm not a poll person either, but it's a great idea.

I think that people who were in abusive relationships with men in the US will gravitate to abusive relationships with MENA men. It can't be that so many of these relationships are anomalies in the relationship patterns of the petitioners.

[Jenn! 918]

I think I remember hearing that dental disease is related to heart disease. Don't forget to brush AND floss after meals.

[Mithra 1,185]

Heart disease, yes. But would that effect ones behavior so drastically? I dunno.

I think I remember hearing that dental disease is related to heart disease. Don't forget to brush AND floss after meals.