Real religious news of major importance

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Schism in the Jon Stewart Religion

Jon Stewart is God v. Jonism

Recently, I blogged about the website JonStewartisGod.com, (JSiG for short), the homepage for a "religion" based on deifying the popular fake-news anchor. It turns out that, like any religion worth its salt, the Stewartist faith, if I may call it that, is already splintering. Yes, there's a schism among the faithful over whether to accept fellow anchor Stephen Colbert into the pantheon. The rival Web site www.jonism.com, while confusingly named, accepts both men as saviors, in distinction to the original JSiG. Stewart is known as "His Hostiness" and Colbert as "His Truthiness." Futher bolstering its sense of inclusion, Jonism declares that regular Daily Show correspondents like Ed Helms, Samantha Bee, and Lewis Black are prophets.

Of the two sites, Jonism is much broader in its scope. In addition to its acceptance of Colbert, Jonists have a "Fake News Heaven and Hell," to which they consign journalists, pundits, politicians, and lobbyists based on their political affiliation. (Example: Anderson Cooper is in heaven, Ann Coulter in hell). JSiG has a catchy single, but Jonism has a "Relics and Idolatry" page where the faithful can view screencaps and photos of their idols.

In terms of doctrine, though, JSiG definitely has the advantage. They have written their own text about beliefs and practices, whereas Jonism simply reprints one-liners or segments from Stewart's and Colbert's shows. One could make the argument that it's better to hear the Word straight from the deity without human interference, but it never hurts to sprinkle some "thee"s and "thou"s into the liturgy. JSiG also has a much more streamlined and easy-to-read website. Jonism tends to rely too much on bright colors and fancy graphics that make their message harder to read. JSiG uses cool colors that feel soothing and make me want to hand my soul over to a man I've never met. And isn't that what online church is supposed to be all about?

What to make of this schism in Jon-Stewart-based religions? Just as Christianity has its Catholic/Protestant divide, so believers in the spirituality of "The Daily Show" must choose their allegiance. For now, I'm staying neutral in what will surely become an all-out religious war. Forget fake religion. I'm sticking with the fake news.

Oh the humanity

[almaty 19]

Schism in the Jon Stewart Religion

Jon Stewart is God v. Jonism

Recently, I blogged about the website JonStewartisGod.com, (JSiG for short), the homepage for a "religion" based on deifying the popular fake-news anchor. It turns out that, like any religion worth its salt, the Stewartist faith, if I may call it that, is already splintering. Yes, there's a schism among the faithful over whether to accept fellow anchor Stephen Colbert into the pantheon. The rival Web site www.jonism.com, while confusingly named, accepts both men as saviors, in distinction to the original JSiG. Stewart is known as "His Hostiness" and Colbert as "His Truthiness." Futher bolstering its sense of inclusion, Jonism declares that regular Daily Show correspondents like Ed Helms, Samantha Bee, and Lewis Black are prophets.

Of the two sites, Jonism is much broader in its scope. In addition to its acceptance of Colbert, Jonists have a "Fake News Heaven and Hell," to which they consign journalists, pundits, politicians, and lobbyists based on their political affiliation. (Example: Anderson Cooper is in heaven, Ann Coulter in hell). JSiG has a catchy single, but Jonism has a "Relics and Idolatry" page where the faithful can view screencaps and photos of their idols.

In terms of doctrine, though, JSiG definitely has the advantage. They have written their own text about beliefs and practices, whereas Jonism simply reprints one-liners or segments from Stewart's and Colbert's shows. One could make the argument that it's better to hear the Word straight from the deity without human interference, but it never hurts to sprinkle some "thee"s and "thou"s into the liturgy. JSiG also has a much more streamlined and easy-to-read website. Jonism tends to rely too much on bright colors and fancy graphics that make their message harder to read. JSiG uses cool colors that feel soothing and make me want to hand my soul over to a man I've never met. And isn't that what online church is supposed to be all about?

What to make of this schism in Jon-Stewart-based religions? Just as Christianity has its Catholic/Protestant divide, so believers in the spirituality of "The Daily Show" must choose their allegiance. For now, I'm staying neutral in what will surely become an all-out religious war. Forget fake religion. I'm sticking with the fake news.

Oh the humanity

fake news is sometimes more real

[Mirorgate 0]

But... can it be blamed on the jews... thats all that really matters isn't it??

[rclouse 0]

Jonism declares that regular Daily Show correspondents like Ed Helms, Samantha Bee, and Lewis Black are prophets.

Lewis Black is DEFINATELY a prophet.

"Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up feminists. He used the word even. 'God,' I thought, 'I haven't heard that word in a while. Did he really think it was feminists? Is that what upset God? That women, a number of years ago, had decided to leave the kitchen, and enter the work place, and demand equal wages, and demand power equal to a man? That's what upset God? That God looked down into the kitchen, and there was not a stew on the oven and the spice rack was in disarray. He said, I will SMITE them!' And I couldn't believe it, he said that God had actually talked to him and said, these were the people. That was the reason. It was those people, and that was the reason God allowed this to happen. And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me 12 hours before, and he said, the reason he was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell."

[Veiled Princess 1]

And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me 12 hours before, and he said, the reason he was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell."