first thing that you gona do with your wife when she here in the us

[Ryan H 3,834]

She will familiarize herself with the apartment, I'll try to cook the same dinner she made me during my last visit (I have no illusions that I will be able to duplicate it well), and then if the weather is nice, take a walk in the neighborhood.

[TBoneTX 46,195]

Note to all: Mrs. T-B.-to-be arrived completely "zoned out" from fatigue, and the trip wasn't as long as most people's here will be. She was sick as a dog within a day with a respiratory infection. She had gotten almost no sleep for days from having attended three "despedidas" (going-away parties) in three different cities with her family and all of her girlfriends. Airplanes are also notorious "germ factories," so that didn't help, either.

Be prepared in case something similar happens to your beneficiary. Because we weren't married yet and she wasn't on my insurance, we went to one of those medical clinics that some drugstores have (staffed by Nurse Practitioners); we got a prescription for an antibiotic. Although the drug was common, it was "full price" because there was no way that my insurance could cover the cost.

If your beneficiary is coming from a country where customers can walk into a pharmacy and buy pretty much anything simply by asking, or without going through a whole "who shot John" procedure, it might not be a bad idea if he/she brought a week's supply of an antibiotic along on the trip to the U.S., as a precaution. Make sure that the medication is something that the beneficiary has taken before or isn't allergic to.

Even after short flights, I find myself covered with "airport funk" (the stenches and odors of airports, shuttle buses, parking lots, passenger pick-up lanes, etc.). The first thing that I want is to take a shower. Whether your beneficiary is male or female, consider having a scented soap and high-quality shampoo ready in your bathroom, along with the fluffiest towels that you can find, perhaps also a soft robe, and your beneficiary's favorite toothpaste and mouthwash. This simple pampering sounds so basic, but it will go a long way toward relaxing your beneficiary after the stresses of travel and standing for who knows how many hours in lines at airport immigration.

The above can make sense whether you're flying back with your beneficiary or meeting him/her at the airport.

[SupastarsaM 7]

I went back to Cambodia before her interview.. Happy Fun Time !!! ;p

Coming back...

6 Hour flight from Phnom Penh, Cambodia with her to Soeul, Korea... 8 Hour delay... 10 hour flight to SF... got about four hours of sleep the whole time...

After getting home.. it was sleep in the daytime and wide awake at night for almost four days...

Adjusting to the time was horrible...

[TBoneTX 46,195]

Adjusting to the time was horrible...

Yes -- expect this, too.

[extremerecluse 32]

Dose of reality time.

Four hour flight from HCMC to Taipei. A couple hours layover. Eleven hour flight to the west coast of the USA. After 17 or 18 hours of travel, you're going to arrive in the US at nearly the same time you left HCMC, and on the same day! On top of this, the jet lag going west is easy - one night and you're back to normal. The jet lag coming back east is a monster - you'll be dog tired for days. I don't know what it is about crossing the date line in the fast forward direction that's so easy to adjust to, but rewinding is a killer.

I'd suggest not making any big plans that involve a lot of activity for at least a few days. Give her (and you) some time to rest and adjust to the new time zone. After that, ease into it.

Does she have any family in the states that live near you? Invite everyone over for a family get together. My house was packed with people when we arrived. My wife's uncle decorated my house with "Welcome Home" stuff, and her aunt and sister cooked up a storm. My wife and step-kids were happy just to eat and visit with family on their first evening in the US. We arrived two days before Christmas, and I had the week between Christmas and New Years off work, so we had time to drive around, see the area, visit friends and family, do some shopping, etc.

Here's a funny little story - for about a year before the visa interview, nearly every time I would drive home I would pretend in my mind that I was bringing my wife and step-kids to my house for the first time. When I would walk up the steps to the door I would pretend in my mind that her family and mine were waiting inside to greet everyone with a big "Welcome Home!". When I was getting ready to go to Vietnam for the interview I was adamant - nobody is going to come and pick us up at the airport. I wanted my daughter to drive my car to the airport, and I would drive us all home. I wanted it to be just like I had imagined so many times. It was. And I still remember it often.

Edited May 16, 2011 by extremerecluse

[extremerecluse 32]

ok people , wut is the first thing that you do with your wife(or husband ) when they are here in the us ?. me , i am gona drive her around the area where i live . when i met my wife few years ago back in vietnam she is the one that drove me around on her scooter , then taught me how to ride scooter. then after that ill order fast foods like pizza so she know what it taste like. there are fastfood restaurants in vietnam yet most of them dont taste like the real stuff we have here in the us. post stuffs that you did , or plan to do with your spouse on here people , that will give me ideals of what to do to keep my wife happy and ease the culture shock that she will have to go through. i can not do guy stuffs like shooting , fishing , fix car , build a gaming pc or go out to bar for a drink with her since most women dont like stuff like that( and my old man told me to stay away from girls that like to do that stuff ).

That is a hard one. They will have spent 18 hours in a cramped seat along with 350 other uncomfortable people. I don't think they will be in any mood for much. In my case, I will be going from a household of one to one of five. They are going to be exhausted and hungry. Something good to eat would be in order. Keeping everything relaxed for them is also important. They do not have any family here in the Detroit area; some in Virginia, New York and Las Vegas. Making things as comfortable for them as possible is paramount. Being able to communicate with family and friends will be key so high speed internet will be crucial. She only has access to wireless broadband in San Ildefonso with very weak signal at best. Having an HD Webcam will also be key. Things will be different for them as well as myself. Getting into the family mode is most important. I will let her know that she is in command. The first week will be the civil marriage in Toledo. The next week will be the AOS application and SS#. The next week will be intensive driving training for the first time in Marilou's life, to include my new 17 year old daughter Jinuel. The next week will involve getting the 11 and 13 year olds (Mariane and Andre) enrolled in the middle school. I will be working while this is all happening too. If you are talking literally what would happen the first thing after she walks out of that airport terminal, I would have to say "Break down in tears". Sorry, even though I am a macho type guy, can bench press 350, run an 8 minute mile and swim like a shark, I have feelings; especially when it comes to my family, who I will be seeing after a long 8 months. My family is the most important thing in my life and I have been without one for way too long. Marilou has given me something which I thought was lost forever. A new opportunity to live a normal life. I owe her everything I have in return. I thank you for making this post. It gives me time to think about what is most important in my life and I so dearly need that!!!

[A and T 82]

I'm going to take my wife to some wide open spaces where no people are around for miles, where we can just drive/travel . Maybe stay at some nice parks and camp, go see the Grand Canyon and or Yellow Stone. Just looking forward to some travel in the USA

[dtc 1]

That is a hard one. They will have spent 18 hours in a cramped seat along with 350 other uncomfortable people. I don't think they will be in any mood for much. In my case, I will be going from a household of one to one of five. They are going to be exhausted and hungry. Something good to eat would be in order. Keeping everything relaxed for them is also important. They do not have any family here in the Detroit area; some in Virginia, New York and Las Vegas. Making things as comfortable for them as possible is paramount. Being able to communicate with family and friends will be key so high speed internet will be crucial. She only has access to wireless broadband in San Ildefonso with very weak signal at best. Having an HD Webcam will also be key. Things will be different for them as well as myself. Getting into the family mode is most important. I will let her know that she is in command. The first week will be the civil marriage in Toledo. The next week will be the AOS application and SS#. The next week will be intensive driving training for the first time in Marilou's life, to include my new 17 year old daughter Jinuel. The next week will involve getting the 11 and 13 year olds (Mariane and Andre) enrolled in the middle school. I will be working while this is all happening too. If you are talking literally what would happen the first thing after she walks out of that airport terminal, I would have to say "Break down in tears". Sorry, even though I am a macho type guy, can bench press 350, run an 8 minute mile and swim like a shark, I have feelings; especially when it comes to my family, who I will be seeing after a long 8 months. My family is the most important thing in my life and I have been without one for way too long. Marilou has given me something which I thought was lost forever. A new opportunity to live a normal life. I owe her everything I have in return. I thank you for making this post. It gives me time to think about what is most important in my life and I so dearly need that!!!

now take care when you are trying to teach her how to drive . i will teach my wife to drive at night because i live in a small city so there are not too many people out driving around at night.there is no need to put anyones at risk, and car wreck cost money too. lucky me i got an automatic transmission car. my wife have no family in this country so let her made friends out in the community is important too. she will let her laptop stay behind with her mom so they can video chat , that will ease homesick. here in newengland it may get very cold in the winter , soo ill take her shopping for winter clothing, i remember many years ago when i come here it was cold , and walking around in tropical climate clothing is no fun at all.

[del-11-03-2013 1]

I remember feeling extremely exhausted when I first came to San Francisco after long hours flights (23 hours).

My first week, I got jet lag + sick and I only woke up for 2-3 hours every day for 7 days (Paul actually took 2 weeks off from work and he plans to show me around SF but since I'm too sick, he end up doing yoga every day )

Second week, Hubby arranged dinner with his mom, his brother and all his close friends. He also bring me to Salt Lake City to meet his dad and his 1st brother.

Third week, he showed me where's Whole Food, Wallgreens, Post office and etc.

We did loads of weekend gateways and hike around California. Paul got me pennytalk calling card to call Malaysia. It's very cheap. Only 0.05 per min.

I also did volunteer work while waiting for my conditional permanent resident and I learned cooking from recipe books.

[kristen_maroc 126]

It's way too early to have any hard and fast plans... plus, we are "go with the flow" type people.

I know for sure that I want to pick him up at the airport alone and spend the first day/night with him WITHOUT new, "scary," family members. Food that is more normal for him, bottled water, a little touch of home here and there, a BIG HUGE HUG every 5-10 minutes... just relaxing, love, support, and taking things slowly.

We'll have to meet my parents and sister day 2 or 3; I want him to check out the local mosque ASAP to feel connected to his faith, and I'd like to have several outings: movie night, date nights, shopping "lessons," etc.

On top of paperwork stuff and getting married (!!!)... I am hoping to find him two volunteer positions doing things that will get him involved and keep him busy during the AOS wait.

[FawkThisSite 13]

ok people , wut is the first thing that you do with your wife(or husband ) when they are here in the us ?. me , i am gona drive her around the area where i live . when i met my wife few years ago back in vietnam she is the one that drove me around on her scooter , then taught me how to ride scooter. then after that ill order fast foods like pizza so she know what it taste like. there are fastfood restaurants in vietnam yet most of them dont taste like the real stuff we have here in the us. post stuffs that you did , or plan to do with your spouse on here people , that will give me ideals of what to do to keep my wife happy and ease the culture shock that she will have to go through. i can not do guy stuffs like shooting , fishing , fix car , build a gaming pc or go out to bar for a drink with her since most women dont like stuff like that( and my old man told me to stay away from girls that like to do that stuff ).

lol, I built a $3500 gaming pc while I was waiting.

I am in Moldova now with my fiancee and we have been talking about this. We both agree that the very first thing we are going to do....... Is go eat some cheese steak subs. Yum! Then go grab a pack of Newports because they dont sell those here.

You can do guy stuff, because she might like it too, my fiancee is so excited that I am going to take her shooting, something she has never done before. She wants to try fishing, she likes playing games with me. If you are going to spend your life with someone I think the most important thing is that you both enjoy the same things.

Anyway, good luck!

[Max1gk 68]

she's coming here again in Italy at the end of the month and if I have to tell you the first things we're gonna do,I'm afraid I might get kicked out of this forum LOL

[akiena_eudocia 2]

I'll be the one coming to the US and my fiance's mom asked me what I wanna do the first time I get to FL. I think she was thinking more on me wanting to go to Disney, Universal, or the beaches there, she got the funniest shock in her life when I told her "I wanna go to Walmart and buy junkfood! and we'll drive by McDonald's to buy Big Fries!" hahaha. Can't wait to eat those huge junkfood that they have there and get fat asap!nomnomnom

[Jubi & Tony 3]

You know its fun to read a post like this. Well my Sweetie likes to see new places. Instead of having her bare the 20 hour flight here I decided to meet her in Hawaii. Easy airport to do POE at too (small). We will meet in Hawaii with some of my family and then get married. Do a little sight seeing, take in a Luau. After wedding (on the beach Hawaiian style) send family members home and then stay a few more days for Honeymoon : ) I'm sure the only time we will be apart will be the morning of the wedding when she is preparing for the wedding. Otherwise it will be hand-in-hand with that slight arm twist to make us even closer together as we walk.

I will take the first few days we arrive home off from work to help her get settled and process AOS and SSN stuff. Show her around town and within the first month go into Washington DC to see the Capital, within about 6 months go to NYC to have her experience real pizza. For all you pizza lovers...you might like your chain pizza place but unless you had pizza in NYC or from someone trained in the ways of making NY Pizza you haven't had real pizza : ). When in NY visit family,

Soon after see arrives we both have agreed to have a couples nite. We both want to take Ball room dancing lessons and really enjoy ourselves learning how to dance. My biggest fear is having her get bored after living a busy life in the Corporate world in Manila. So making sure she doesnt get bored will always be a big focus for me. I want her Happy most of all.

Thanks for starting this thread

[USColombia 6]

My fiancee and I discussed this and we're going away to the beach to relax for a few days (probably long weekend).

The VERY first thing we're going to do is go to Chipotle, her favorite. Then we'll head back to our home so she can relax - I imagine she'll be very emotional so I don't want to do too much straight away and shock her.

Then we'll go shopping so she can buy stuff for the apartment and feel like it's her home. I know she has asked to decorate it and I'm completely for that. After that I'll introduce her to the area, some close friends. Then see my family who she met for a couple days 7 months ago.

Just taking it easy to be honest. Let things build up for culture shock kind of things. Let her call home to say she made it in time, maybe a trip to the spa to relax. I'm taking a few days off to make it easier for her.

I think she'll be in shock for the first month (is this really happening?!) and then the hard part comes after when she realizes it's real and she has to get used to everything. Luckily she has been here before as an au pair so she's fine with the food, etc. But it's completely different coming here and knowing now it's your home and having to leave your family.

I'll let her dictate the pace of things and just ask her what she wants.