hypothetically speaking

[sunandmoon 450]

recently received visa. everything is fine = ask question how can visa be canceled.

does that make sense...

[angel7407 33]

After further review....Asawa ko and I believe that Angelforever07 is Junior's fiancee.... we think this coz Angelforever07's fluent use of Tagalog and Tag-txt speak ....still believe the devastedme is a dupe account created by Junior and / or his fiancee....seems a domestic dispute was being played out on VJ (anonymously)....not totally convinced that Angel7407 is connected....hmmmm...not sure if Junior should be given too hard a time about this....we think his embarrassment will punish him enough...

Junior:

Do you guys have a ninong and ninang you can talk to? Probably not since you are not married yet. ...but...oh well...you are old enough..I'm sure you get my point.

Hey, hey, hey, don't link me to Jr's profiles, ok? Hehehehe...I am a female and I'm already here in the US. I am trying to dig his posts though, so I can sleuth myself. I have been a member here since 2008, if I'm not mistaken of the year. But one thing is very definite, not involved with Jr...hehehe!

[Tahoma 2,292]

I can hear the keys jingling...

In before the lock!!!

Edited May 19, 2011 by Tahoma

[jrmejia 31]

Guys,

What do I need to do next time so that when I ask a simple question for us to stay within limit of the question and not go off to a zoo?

For some reason, I can not *oppss* "can't" ask a simple question without you guys judging or humiliating me.

What I don't like is that some of you complain about TCO but some of you are worse than him in term of humiliating and judging.

Not to say TCO is a bad guy! I have no problem with him.

Thanks/salmat/shukriya/gracias/merci/grazias/denke/..........

my 2 cents.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Guys,

What do I need to do next time so that when I ask a simple question for us to stay within limit of the question and not go off to a zoo?

For some reason, I can not *oppss* "can't" ask a simple question without you guys judging or humiliating me.

What I don't like is that some of you complain about TCO but some of you are worse than him in term of humiliating and judging.

Not to say TCO is a bad guy! I have no problem with him.

If you're asking seriously then I'll repeat my serious answer:

Stop being so cryptic and give the complete situation surrounding your question.

In this thread there is no reason you didn't just say something like, "So got her K-1 issued in Adu Dahbi but her son is in the Philippines. We're concerned that her K-1 will expire before we can get the K-2 case transferred to Manila and completed. What would happen if we just cancel her K-1 and start over again having her interview in Manila this time?"

You don't need to give every single detail but a 30,000ft view would be helpful.

I won't even ask how you can be Filipino and not have a problem with how TCO degrades all Pinays and Pinoys on a regular basis. Those of us you are comparing to him are nothing like him. We are simply pointing out the inconsistancies (or similarities) in your posting history.

We really are here trying to help others and sometimes that requires a level of honesty that can be hard to deal with for some folks. If you put negative information in the wind you shouldn't be surprised at a negative reaction.

BTW, maybe you should contact the Embassy that issued her K-1, explain the situation and see if they'd be willing to extend the validity of her K-1 if it's close to expiring and you still need more time to complete the K-2 process for the child. It may require she get a new physical as the visa's valitidy is usually not to exceed the validity of the medical

Edited May 19, 2011 by Bob 4 Anna

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

JR is a Filipino, just been in the US a long time...

OK...did not know that.....definetly makes room for more options.

Edited May 19, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Hey, hey, hey, don't link me to Jr's profiles, ok? Hehehehe...I am a female and I'm already here in the US. I am trying to dig his posts though, so I can sleuth myself. I have been a member here since 2008, if I'm not mistaken of the year. But one thing is very definite, not involved with Jr...hehehe!

Agreed. My husband and I didn't / don't think you were/ are involved.

Edited May 19, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Hey, hey, hey, don't link me to Jr's profiles, ok? Hehehehe...I am a female and I'm already here in the US. I am trying to dig his posts though, so I can sleuth myself. I have been a member here since 2008, if I'm not mistaken of the year. But one thing is very definite, not involved with Jr...hehehe!

Opps, a little crossed wires here, JR's "Angel Identity" is AngelForever07.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Guys,

What do I need to do next time so that when I ask a simple question for us to stay within limit of the question and not go off to a zoo?

For some reason, I can not *oppss* "can't" ask a simple question without you guys judging or humiliating me.

Thanks/salmat/shukriya/gracias/merci/grazias/denke/..........

my 2 cents.

Junior:

Think through this. Start near the beginning of your VJ posting history....you stated that you were having problems with your relationship.... These problems were significant to you and were causing you to doubt the quality and soundness of your relationship..you asked for opinions and oh boy did you get it. Multiple VJ's rallied around you, provided their POV and advised you to GTFO!!!

From that moment on, it seems as though there has been a "countdown watch" on your relationship. Some VJ's waiting for the day you will admit they are right and you were wrong and your relationship is this and that and over. That's why some have shadowed you along the way. Sometimes popping up on a thread here or there to tease and taunt you. To remind you that one day soon, you will know they are right.

Dude, it's human nature and you should know that. The moment you decided to wash your clothes on VJ your private life became a public spectacle and discussion. Not for all VJ's but obviously some.

Bottom line, if you are going to ask questions then 1. Bob is right to advise you to avoid cryptic questions. Otherwise you will find yourself getting a buffet of answers. Some of thebuffet...you don't want and won't like. 2. You should know by now that some VJ's have your personality and relationship (subjectively) pegged. Don't be surprised or offended with negative responses to your relationship questions.

Frankly Junior, it seems a bit naive to not realize you did this to yourself. I'm not justifying some of the actions of others...but I'm not surprised and you shouldn't be either.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Jr / Angelforever07 / devastedme.......Thank you for this entertaining and educational thread. I'd like to show all three of your personalities my appreciation by giving you another look in the mirror at your behavior:

The art of manipulation includes speaking in riddles instead of straightforward, frank communication. There is a kind of manipulator that gets everyone involved in their personal crises, getting their kicks out of others investing their emotional energy. They're always doing the wrong thing and getting victimized, so nobody thinks their motives could be suspect. They're always assuring us emphatically how innocent and sincere they are. And look how they've laid themselves bare for everyone to see...

Except that with this personality they also conceal things that heighten the drama. They allude and insinuate instead of just stating facts plainly. People are baited with part of the story but never the whole thing.

The name is actually "Emotional Vampire", which points out the hypocrisy in the business about giving without getting anything back. The vampire very much feeds off others, sucking the emotional energy out of them. People put their energy into giving advice that has been sought out by the vampire, and the vampire creates this emotional roller-coaster. Sometimes the vampire seems to be doing the right thing and people who have given up on him start putting their faith and energy into the "atta boys" - and then their hopes are dashed upon the rocks.

Hard to predict this one because the motivations are not normal and the severity unknown. But the more disordered, the greater the calamity sought.

This is called a chiasm. You see preachers using it a lot to make logical fallacies appear like wisdom.

A chiasm has symmetry like a poem does. In this case you have used the form ABBA. Because of the symmetry, it is pleasing to the ear, just like a rhyme or a song.

Another example for silly illustration: Don't dip your wick, or your wick will dip you. In this way, you can make any ridiculous thing sound "catchy". People with feeble minds give far too much weight to chiasms.

The interesting thing about this personal attack - and it is the second one - is that you are insisting to be the forgiving one; the one with the sense of humanity; the gentleman suffering stoicly.

But there's nothing gentlemanly about these personal attacks. They don't bother me because I am a student of manipulation and understand what the objective is here. I am invited to feel ashamed of myself. (It's called "shaming", and the irony is that the manipulator strikes at your ego with the shaming tactic whilst saying you should not let your ego control you!)

So you know that's why I point out the chiasm above. Because it is like using a poem to conceal an attack on a person's ego in order to manipulate them. It is actually the exact opposite of what it pretends to be and is therefore highly deceptive - it uses your ego against you while claiming to be the advice of not letting your ego get the best of you.

Dissecting manipulation is fascinating to me so thanks for the opportunity.

The backdrop to this whole relationship drama has been the insinuated theme that she is manipulating you for an immigration visa. But the record has been created by you, and it contains an awful lot of manipulative tactics - all the cryptic statements instead of frank, clear communication... insinuation and allusions instead of plain facts. The speaking in riddles and the shaming, guilt-tripping etc. like above.

After instilling doubts in our minds with all these red flags, then you've attacked us for having the doubts you put in our minds in the first place. Classic.

She may indeed be manipulative, but there's no doubt that you are, and I don't mean it as a personal attack. But rather, we are being manipulated here and whatever the whole story is - we're not getting it. One possibility is that all the cryptic red flags are just little plays you're making.

I don't know. The only one who knows is the one concealing things behind the cryptic insinuations and these manipulative responses.

Cheers.

You're welcome!

[rheanick 42]

Would the moderators be able to verify if JR IS A BIG TROLL???

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hey Charles! When are you going to close this thread?

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

thread closed per op request yesterday.

mods don't read all threads - if you're the op and want your thread closed, please use the report button on your first post and request it closed.