children againts dad,s marriage

[longerlife 0]

Hello.to all VJ member.s would like to ask your comments or advice in this matter.i had a relationship with an American guy which is he was older at me,in short we have that age gaps.he has grown up children they were always against me because i am Asian and also the money they think i am after their dad,s money which is he has no money one of his kids already got his retirement money,his kid told me they did those things because its for the sake of their dad to keep his money.which is i don't even care about those money issue i don't have any idea about those things,anyway are they against me because i am Asian i have different colors and race.they kept insulting me being a Pinay or a Filipino..what,s wrong if i am a Filipino?i was raised and nurtured right by my parents.is that an issue?they said they were concerned about their dad because they think i will get all their dads money and left him alone.they have those speculations tHAT being a PINAY is after the money and pinay is a very bad person living in this world..this is what i felt about.a lot of accusations and discriminations being different from their race.is there anyone out there has same experienced i got now?please need some good advice here..thanks...

[A♥P 0]

Just let the children think what they want. You shouldnt mind them. first of all, youre not gonna be married with them but their father. (Not unless youre gonna live on the same roof.) Next, you and your fiance are the only two people that knows how genuinely you love each other. Third, if you were in his children's shoes, you might also think or feel that way. They're just being protective of their dad. All you can do is just ignore them for now and/or be understanding. There are things we do or sacrifice to be with the person that we love. Just be strong. Maybe in time, when you have proved to them that youre trustworthy, everything's gonna be okay. Just be more patient, understanding and strong. You can do this.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hello.to all VJ member.s would like to ask your comments or advice in this matter.i had a relationship with an American guy which is he was older at me,in short we have that age gaps.he has grown up children they were always against me because i am Asian and also the money they think i am after their dad,s money which is he has no money one of his kids already got his retirement money,his kid told me they did those things because its for the sake of their dad to keep his money.which is i don't even care about those money issue i don't have any idea about those things,anyway are they against me because i am Asian i have different colors and race.they kept insulting me being a Pinay or a Filipino..what,s wrong if i am a Filipino?i was raised and nurtured right by my parents.is that an issue?they said they were concerned about their dad because they think i will get all their dads money and left him alone.they have those speculations tHAT being a PINAY is after the money and pinay is a very bad person living in this world..this is what i felt about.a lot of accusations and discriminations being different from their race.is there anyone out there has same experienced i got now?please need some good advice here..thanks...

Filipinos have that reputation to some people you are correct (lots of stereotypes out there) but that doesn't mean it's right for them to be mean. They are grown-up children so they have no say in who he marries but it is their right to be afraid that their father is being used. How would you feel if someone you never met, who was younger than your rich father suddenly came into his life? If you'd grown up in an environment where you had to pick your friends carefully because they could be using you for your money you'd be suspicious too. They might change over time or they might not. My mother-in-law doesn't hate me (that I'm aware of) but she's an awful person who Tony and I don't deal with... it might just be you'll be avoiding them and so avoiding conflict.

I just realised you said you HAD a relationship, are you not with this guy any more? Then don't worry about it. You'll run into difficult people your entire life. You might not be smart enough, or pretty enough, you might be too skinny or too fat.. you can't please everyone and it's not your job to PLEASE anyone but just to be yourself, be happy and be a good person. If that's not good enough for them, then they're not good enough for you.

Edited May 11, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[rodceasar 34]

Sorry for what you are going through. I will say that I don't think your issues with his family are neccesarily because you are a Pinay, although it might be but I think most Americans have a perception that ANY foreigner is after a greencard and/or money. My spouse is African and I a black american but I always have to let people know that a greencard is the last thing my spouse is here for. She'd be happier if I were to have moved to her country and begun our life together.

I only say, live your life with your husband and regardless what his children believe, you should do what's nessacry to hone your marriage ! Good luck to happiness...

[longerlife 0]

Hello GUYS THANK you so much for your good advices,yes its true his kids dont know what we been through together for years it was always the two of us knew about it during rough times until all these years we are still together and had a good relationship.i will take all your advices guys..GOD Bless us all.