K-1 Married but refuses to send in AOS

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I would think withholding AOS is covered under the VAWA.

In relationships of domestic violence, this often means that the abusive spouse uses his ability to control the immigration status of the victim as yet another method of abuse. To eliminate this deeply damaging power dynamic, VAWA allows battered non-citizens to "self-petition” for Lawful Permanent Residence.

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[ceadsearc 516]

I would think withholding AOS is covered under the VAWA.

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I may have misinterpreted, but I thought that meant that K-1 immigrants who were already victims of another domestic abuse and whose spouses subsequently refused to file could self-petition with VAWA - not that just refusing to file the petition was abusive enough in itself. (As I assume there are many other reasons someone might refuse to file for their spouse beyond being controlling and abusive.) Maybe someone with more expertise can chime in?

[Casprd 167]

If not sending in the AOS is a matter of just being lazy or forgetful or having second thoughts then it wouldn't constitute abuse, but if as the OP posted in one response, the Petitioner uses the AOS as a way to control the beneficiary (i.e. threatening to net send it in during a disagreement or to elicit certain behavior), then it is definately abuse. Especially if it is an ongoing pattern. Mental abuse is every bit as heinous as physical abuse and the scars run every bit as deep. Obviously there are marital issues that they should try to resolve, but this dangling and retracting of the AOS is abusive. Whether it meets the requirements of VAWA I don't know but if the Petitioner continues this then it is worth looking in to.

As for the "if things didn't work out I would have just returned home" comments, Everyone's home and everyone's country are different. Returning home to Australia or the UK is a far cry different than returning home to Vietnam or Ecuador or Nigeria. If the beneficiary has given up everything to move to the US, returning home and "starting over" isn't always an option.

[soulprovider915 4]

I would think withholding AOS is covered under the VAWA.

Source

This is what I was possibly thinking. I really don't want to have to go this route with them. But, I just want to get a head start if something does go wrong. This will all fall in my lap and that's why I'm involved to the point that I am. Thanks for the info.

[soulprovider915 4]

If not sending in the AOS is a matter of just being lazy or forgetful or having second thoughts then it wouldn't constitute abuse, but if as the OP posted in one response, the Petitioner uses the AOS as a way to control the beneficiary (i.e. threatening to net send it in during a disagreement or to elicit certain behavior), then it is definately abuse. Especially if it is an ongoing pattern. Mental abuse is every bit as heinous as physical abuse and the scars run every bit as deep. Obviously there are marital issues that they should try to resolve, but this dangling and retracting of the AOS is abusive. Whether it meets the requirements of VAWA I don't know but if the Petitioner continues this then it is worth looking in to.

As for the "if things didn't work out I would have just returned home" comments, Everyone's home and everyone's country are different. Returning home to Australia or the UK is a far cry different than returning home to Vietnam or Ecuador or Nigeria. If the beneficiary has given up everything to move to the US, returning home and "starting over" isn't always an option.

This is a great response. I started this post because I was starting to see a pattern of when he gets mad the AOS goes out the window. I'm keeping a close eye this week to make sure that her and the kid aren't lacking with food. When he's mad food shopping also goes out the window for a few days. (If that wouldn't be abuse then I don't know what is.) You are very correct. Australia is very different from developing countries. She would have absolutely nothing if she went back.

[ECWilloughbys 7]

This is a great response. I started this post because I was starting to see a pattern of when he gets mad the AOS goes out the window. I'm keeping a close eye this week to make sure that her and the kid aren't lacking with food. When he's mad food shopping also goes out the window for a few days. (If that wouldn't be abuse then I don't know what is.) You are very correct. Australia is very different from developing countries. She would have absolutely nothing if she went back.

Food shopping?! God, that's horrible. My heart goes out to your family. I hope this can be resolved in an unpainful way.

[Casprd 167]

This is a great response. I started this post because I was starting to see a pattern of when he gets mad the AOS goes out the window. I'm keeping a close eye this week to make sure that her and the kid aren't lacking with food. When he's mad food shopping also goes out the window for a few days. (If that wouldn't be abuse then I don't know what is.) You are very correct. Australia is very different from developing countries. She would have absolutely nothing if she went back.

WTH. Yes, not providing food for them is definatley abuse. Sorry, but AOS aside, if he is treating her this way already, it will only get worse. I'm assuming she doesn't have a DL or access to any kind of transport to go shopping herself? If she is cut off from money for shopping and any reasonable means of getting to the store and he is refusing to put food in the house as a control method, then he is gone over the line of abuse and is flirting with criminal neglect since there is a minor he is responsible for now. If this guy is a friend of yours also, you need to have a serious talk (as in you talk he listens). If he isn't a friend then you need to report him to the police.

What the hell is he thinking, bringing a wife and child here and treating them like this

[san diego 407]

This is a clear case of abuse. I am USC and went through K1 process reading a lot on both sides. While there is a lot of cases where foreign fiancee using USC for GC, I also see a lot of the following: USC often think that if they bring the foreign fiancee to US, they owe them big time. This is what leads to the relationship problems. If someone brings foreign fiancee they are taking responsibility for this person. Person coming to US leave everything behind: house, job, friends. We need to realize this. A lot of USC instead of being supportive turn this into pay-off game treating their foreign wife as an object, novelty item that owes them forever. This is a clear case of such behavior. This is ethical prospective. Now, from legal prospective this you can clearly make it a case of abusive behavior.

[san diego 407]

My fiancee just arrived 2 weeks ago, and I can only feel for her. She speaks English but does not feel comfortable speaking in public so far.. New streets, new culture. I am trying to help her adjust as much as I can as well as my entire family.. I bought her a car and trying to get my relatives to take her around during the week but this helps a little but does not solve the problem. I can only imagine how hard this is for someone that also has unsupportive mate!! I am sorry!!

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Here is the situation:

My Wife's Aunt K-1 Married: 12/11/2011 Well within the 90 days. Also 7 Year Old K-2 Kid. (previous marriage) Her husband keeps finding a reason why he can't send the AOS paperwork in and it's becoming very tense and slightly mentally abusive in their house. Are there any options or recourse? I'm hoping this resolves itself, but I have to get informed because my wife and I are going to be the ones dealing directly with the fall out. Any help would be appreciated.

Won't repeat what others have already noted, but my 2 pennies are that first thing to do is to clarify exactly what's going on, meaning, husband needs to be confronted with the situation and answers are required; and only the couple can do that, perhaps with the help of others to ensure words are not confused and cultural issues are taken care of. Avoid all assumptions of motives, that does not really help. Once things are clarified, next step is counseling if needed and wanted by the couple and any other actions. At some point, if the situation demands it, an attorney (family and immigration) would be required. I wish it does not and it is all solvable. It is important that the high stress of the process to get the K1, the new household situation, etc is taken into account and put in perspective.

No one but the couple themselves (or individually) can determine what is best for them and whether your aunt is better of staying or returning. Everyone is entitled to change their minds, but there are always consequences to our decisions (good and bad, and even those are subjective, something that might seem bad to one of us could be good to another one) and each of us needs to own them (our own mess I mean).

On a side note, I do know someone that was divorced before the 2 years and she was still granted removal of conditions. This was in 1998 though. Even if husband does not provide the supporting paperwork is not all lost. Also, even if aunt goes back, that does not automatically voids the marriage; They will still married. However, no need to assume the worst even if things look bleak. One step at a time.