Sharing some red flags

[Ayodeb 1]

To LoveNigarmostyle,

Thanks again. We have had some counseling from our Elders but only time will tell. I'll be sure to keep my status updated.

Let me know if I can be of any assistance at any point and time.

See ya!

From your response here I can almost conclude you are one of JWs like myself. If that is correct I have suggestions for others to avoid this kind of situation. There are several ways of getting things done properly here in Nigeria. You can actually find out if the person you are contemplating to marry is real or a mere pretender. We belong to congregation and we know that elders can sometimes be involved in things like these. They can verify so many things for us. I am sure you understand what i am trying to say, provided you are a JW.

[MAO36 30]

From your response here I can almost conclude you are one of JWs like myself. If that is correct I have suggestions for others to avoid this kind of situation. There are several ways of getting things done properly here in Nigeria. You can actually find out if the person you are contemplating to marry is real or a mere pretender. We belong to congregation and we know that elders can sometimes be involved in things like these. They can verify so many things for us. I am sure you understand what i am trying to say, provided you are a JW.

hello Ayodeb!

My hubby is indeed a JW, confirmed and verified way before I decided to go to Nigeria. My hubby was a Ministerial Servant and gave the Sunday discourse the week i was there at the KH. I think the bigger issue is internet dating is a huge risk. This just goes to show you no matter what religion you profess to be, there are people who may be living a double life. His family is filled with very spiritual people. His parents are full time pioneers and he and his sister both attended pioneer school together. The bible warns us to watch our association both out and in of the congregation. My elders also got his records from the branch office. Oh is is as real a JW as I am. Society has warned us to stay away from internet dating. unfortunately i thought i could beat the odds without consequences.

Thanks for the post

[MAO36 30]

HELLO ! VJ FAMILY!!

Just checking in...... No drama to report! I just wanted to let you all know that things are being repaired with delicacy and this is no overnight quick fix. There are a lot of emotions, much needed communication, tender compassion and love being shown towards one another. But for the most part, we both want to make it work and are really trying to understand what went wrong so that it never happens again.

Take Care!

[Mrs O. 29]

Good to hear the update! Good luck!

[forchika 4]

HELLO ! VJ FAMILY!!

Just checking in...... No drama to report! I just wanted to let you all know that things are being repaired with delicacy and this is no overnight quick fix. There are a lot of emotions, much needed communication, tender compassion and love being shown towards one another. But for the most part, we both want to make it work and are really trying to understand what went wrong so that it never happens again.

Take Care!

Hang in there!!!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Glad to hear all is working out slowly, but surely for you! As usual, you are in my prayers. May God be with you, and help heal the wounds, by giving both of you the guidance and direction to find your way back to each other. After all is said and done, time will heal wounds. Take care my friend.

God bless.

[shefellfromheaven 18]

It's absolutely wonderful to hear all's well Mao!!

Edited June 6, 2011 by shefellfromheaven

[reeses16 8]

Mao,

Glad you posted an update, thrilled that things are moving in a positive direction!

[dwheels76 5,468]

Sorry to butt in and add my question but since most here are dealing with Nigeria's and Nigerian things I thoughtI would inquire.

Have read alot and thank you for information. But I would like to hear from people who filed in the United States from start of I-130 to Interview ti approved. I have heard so many time,lines. But one thing I hear is US takes extra long and I should prepare for 10 to 12 months.

Why does it take so long? I am currently in Nigeria with my husband But I have to leave and won;t be able to come back for 6 months. I am not a permanent resident and do not qualify to file paperwork at embassy here which I hear goes very fast.

So anybody have timelines and even know why it takes so long for a US filing?

Also just wondering is it better to have all information sent to the US citizen and you send to spouse/fiance' or have the USCIS send directly to them? Nigerian mail is the worst at least postal service. We have letters and cards we sent to each other when we first dated that never have arrived. I had cards once that arrived 6 months later. So much for that proof. And Wondering how far in advance he should order his police records?

[MAO36 30]

Sorry to butt in and add my question but since most here are dealing with Nigeria's and Nigerian things I thoughtI would inquire.

Have read alot and thank you for information. But I would like to hear from people who filed in the United States from start of I-130 to Interview ti approved. I have heard so many time,lines. But one thing I hear is US takes extra long and I should prepare for 10 to 12 months.

Why does it take so long? I am currently in Nigeria with my husband But I have to leave and won;t be able to come back for 6 months. I am not a permanent resident and do not qualify to file paperwork at embassy here which I hear goes very fast.

So anybody have timelines and even know why it takes so long for a US filing?

Also just wondering is it better to have all information sent to the US citizen and you send to spouse/fiance' or have the USCIS send directly to them? Nigerian mail is the worst at least postal service. We have letters and cards we sent to each other when we first dated that never have arrived. I had cards once that arrived 6 months later. So much for that proof. And Wondering how far in advance he should order his police records?

Hello dwheels!

Unfortunately I have no clue on filing while living in Nigeria. I'm sure somone on the site can help you! Anybody!!

[MAO36 30]

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dance: SENDING SOME LOVE TO YOU ALL WHOOT WHOOT!!!! LOL.

No, seriously though things are pretty good, finally making some progress. My emotions have been semi-bipolar per my kids. Happy! finally laughing the way we did when I was in Nigeria both times! Scared with tears, hoping I've made the rigt decision! Mad! How dare this man put me through this, I'm out!!!!!! racing thoughts through my mind! Shoud I ask him to go, should he stay! Last but not least, we just might make it this time around!!

He is coming around. Understands that phone has to be available for me to answer since everything has to be transparent! He's beginning to soften up and not be so pig headed. He has completely admitted his actions were down right evil, senseless and admitted he was a horrible person for putting me through this. He's begun attending religious meetings again, after going through a period of guilt. We have gone out on dates, we text each other more through out the day with love you baby, I'm so soo sorry are his infamous words right now, we laugh more.

We still have a long road ahead but he has said several times, he has grown so comfortable with being with me and can't get his mind off of what he did and how much he loves me!!

Don't worry yall, I aint no fool, My eyes and ears are still wide open and will be for a long time.

Love you all, wishing you all MUCH success and happiness without the pain! Please be wise and learn from this forum. I'm sharing my life because we are in this together.

Bye!

[dwheels76 5,468]

Hello dwheels!

Unfortunately I have no clue on filing while living in Nigeria. I'm sure somone on the site can help you! Anybody!!

No no. I am filing In US in two weeks. I was asking (here it is again.) Would like to hear folks timelines out there. Thanks

Have read alot and thank you for information. But I would like to hear from people who filed in the United States from start of I-130 to Interview ti approved. I have heard so many time,lines. But one thing I hear is US takes extra long and I should prepare for 10 to 12 months.

Why does it take so long? I am currently in Nigeria with my husband But I have to leave and won;t be able to come back for 6 months. I am not a permanent resident and do not qualify to file paperwork at embassy here which I hear goes very fast.

So anybody have timelines and even know why it takes so long for a US filing?

Also just wondering is it better to have all information sent to the US citizen and you send to spouse/fiance' or have the USCIS send directly to them? Nigerian mail is the worst at least postal service. We have letters and cards we sent to each other when we first dated that never have arrived. I had cards once that arrived 6 months later. So much for that proof. And Wondering how far in advance he should order his police records?

[Zee Bee 61]

Hello dwheels!

Unfortunately I have no clue on filing while living in Nigeria. I'm sure somone on the site can help you! Anybody!!

No no. I am filing In US in two weeks. I was asking (here it is again.) Would like to hear folks timelines out there. Thanks

Have read alot and thank you for information. But I would like to hear from people who filed in the United States from start of I-130 to Interview ti approved. I have heard so many time,lines. But one thing I hear is US takes extra long and I should prepare for 10 to 12 months.

Why does it take so long? I am currently in Nigeria with my husband But I have to leave and won;t be able to come back for 6 months. I am not a permanent resident and do not qualify to file paperwork at embassy here which I hear goes very fast.

So anybody have timelines and even know why it takes so long for a US filing?

Also just wondering is it better to have all information sent to the US citizen and you send to spouse/fiance' or have the USCIS send directly to them? Nigerian mail is the worst at least postal service. We have letters and cards we sent to each other when we first dated that never have arrived. I had cards once that arrived 6 months later. So much for that proof. And Wondering how far in advance he should order his police records?

That is pretty much the standard time from filing to interview. The filing time to approval and going through NVC is dependent on a lot of things including how quickly the initial petition is filed and how quickly you get the documents needed by NVC and how long it takes them to process them.

Filing from Nigeria (DCF) is quicker because it is a different process all together.

I'm not too familiar with the IR1/CR1 process so I'm not sure what documents you should have on hand before you leave.

The timelines are your friend here. They are the most accurate estimate of how long it would take you to get through the process.

[dwheels76 5,468]

Thank you Zee Bee love the profile pic. And congratulations. yes these timelines are a big help. I love to get the big picture and have all the facts before I begin. But after talking to so many people from all over the earth (I swear I think I have talked to someone who has filed in every embassy on earth).

I can see that first get all your documentation together, get your payments in ASAP, stay on top of it get help when needed including congressional if need be, and pray and have faith all will be well.

Thanks though I think I have asked so many questions since I found VISAJOURNEY I am happy and content all is well and it will be fine. And yes I do wish I could file DCF.

Take care and thanks, Love happy endings, dwheels76

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

A secret to sending notes to Nigeria , use post cards . I think there are some evil people in the postal service that assume card contain cash and they open them looking for money. Post cards there is nothing to take and have a bit better luck at getting there. Pick something and send a note that you will be showing this in person soon.