Desperate cry for HELP!

[ramones 0]

Thank you for your replies! I slept a little bit and I am more calm now. He is coming back tonight. I know I won't be able to hide anything from him, because of the way I am. So I am just going to have a discussion with him and see if he admits. I am 98% positive that it's his baby. Him and her ex have a long story, they've been together for 11 years. His mom and dad are divorced, they don't know what each other is doing, so this is why alarming his mom is pointless. BUT in the same time, I was thinking that they might know and try to hide what he did because they love me so much and I am expecting their grandchild. I don't know..I'm thinking too much I guess, I can assure you that I am not paranoid though. It all makes sense to me now.

Does anybody know how I can find out if the child is on the birth records already? And maybe find out who's the daddy on the birth certificate? He was born yesterday or the other day I'm not sure, so I don't know if it would appear already in birth records.

Thank you again for your help and telling me to calm down, you were right. I will let you know how it goes

[Casprd 167]

slow down. Cell phone off during a hunting trip is normal. Last thing you want is your phone ringing and spooking any game. Right now you just have a lot of conclusions that you've jumped to with no evidence. As Darnell said, get the things you need for removing conditions together first off. Then when your husband gets back, ask him about it. If things are good between you then why such hasty conclusions that he is cheating and fathered a child with his ex? Don't panic just for the sake of panic. As long as you can prove that you entered the marriage in good faith then you have no worries about your immigration status.

[Fandango 1,440]

I think the OP has a right to speculate...come on, a hunting trip when the baby in question is born?

OP, you can't claim 'oh I won't be responsible for my actions when he gets home' I know that's a figure of speech, but still. You have a child to think about now...and it's not worth doing something you're going to regret later.

At the end of the day, you can ROC by yourself, just collect the evidence of a bona fide relationship.

Your issue at this point is not an immigration one...if he is the father, and he wants to stay with you, and you look to forgive him, all is good.

If he is the father, and one or both of you want to end the relationship, you can stay on your own. Your financial issues will be a domestic issue (ie possible alimony, child support, etc).

Or maybe he's not the father. But I'm like you, I would certainly be curious of the 'convenient' timing of her phone calls 9 mos ago, and his 'hunting trip' now.

But either way, you'll be ok.

[Canadian in GA 34]

Are you able to see her full profile on FB? or just her profile pic? as if u can see any of her pics, there is not one of a man holding the baby? thats odd if there is not?

[HotPinay-KoolKano 10]

Dig deep sis...do not jump into a conclusion...gather more evidence if he is really cheating on you...its not yet confirmed..talk to him..and try to relax or hold yourself..and i agree to above opinions here..God Bless...

[geannette john 3]

[chezzy 2]

[KemalTuanaYalcin 16]

First of all, I am sorry to go into all the details, but I need to in order to tell you my story. I don't even know if it is appropiate to tell you my drama, but I am in such a desperate situation that I don't care anymore.. I don't know where to start, this will all be a ramble and I hope you can put it all together..I've been married for a year and a half with a person I thought I knew well. He is a US citizen, I am not, we had our interview last year in september. The night before the interview his phone was ringing off the hook and he turned it off, he told me it was people from work. I was stressed so I didn't pay attention to it. He is a manager, he works sometimes 16 hours a day. His mom and his ex live 2 hours from where we live. He had a baby with his ex 4 years ago, the baby died just a little bit after he was born and because of that his ex went crazy, literally, and they broke up. She kept harassing him even after we got married and then it all suddenly stopped, so I thought she came to her senses. Last month I found out I'm pregnant and everything changed in my life! We started making plans about everything! Yesterday he went on a hunting trip with his dad, I though oh well some time for myself.. This morning I was checking facebook and found out that his ex just gave birth to a child!!! It immediately came to my mind that it's his child! His phone is turned off and I cannot get in touch with him. And I am now starting to put two and two together.. the trips he made to his mom's house might have been to her house! I am going nuts in here, his dad's phone is off too, I can't call his mom because I'm not sure if this is true. You cannot imagine what I've been through these past hours.. and then it hit me! What is going to happen to our baby if we get a divorce? Am I going to be removed from US? I only have my conditional GC for 9 months now - 9 months since the interview when she was calling him like crazy, maybe that's when she found out about it. I cannot go back to my country now, with a baby, I don't have a house or a job there, I cannot raise him. And what if she put my husband as the father on her baby's birth certificate? The more I think of, the more it makes sense to me, I trusted him and now.. I don't know what to do, all I know is then when he comes back home he's gonna be sorry. Please don't judge me on this, on being blind,I am asking from you to help me with legal matters, get a divorce or wait until my baby is born? I only care about the baby's future now, thank you for listening to me, I am sorry if it's too much, I am still in shock

First off, you do not even know if in fact he has been cheating, if the baby is his, etc etc. You said suddenly she stopped calling. That being the case, isn't it kinda strange that if they were having a baby together that she would be calling more frequently? Before you jump to conclusions and ruin what may still be a great marriage, I would sit him down and talk with him, tell him your concerns and ask him to just be honest and straight forward with you. If, worse case scenario, he has been unfaithful, it is your decision on what you want or need to do, however, as you said, put the child first. If the child is born here, your child will be an American citizen. Plus it is possible for you, if the circumstances you have stated prove to be true and you can provide evidence it may be possible for you to continue staying here, applying for citizenship on our own. I would honestly suggest you calm down, talk with your husband, try and obtain the truth, and then go from there. Also, in this matter, if it turns out to be true, I would strongly suggest obtaining the advise of legal council to determine what your options are.

[BocaChicaBabe 6]

I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope your suspicions are not correct. Please try to relax and avoid stressing yourself and your baby any further.

[Karee 4,191]

What state are you in?

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

Does anybody know how I can find out if the child is on the birth records already? And maybe find out who's the daddy on the birth certificate? He was born yesterday or the other day I'm not sure, so I don't know if it would appear already in birth records.

It is probably different in every state, but in my state (Hawaii), it takes about a week until it is available and then only immediate family or the person him/herself can get the birth information (remember Obama's situation?). I can imagine it is in many states the same.

On a different note, several hours have past again... do you know anything more? I have to agree with most of the others, there are a lot of coincidences that can make you think in a certain way very easily but there isn't much proof yet. I hope you keep us posted

[tru_loves_journey 117]

While he's away why not just be an adult and call the ex wife and ask her if she has been having relations with him in a calm way ofcourse. I don't feel he would have brought you here if he were still interested in his ex. You need more proof than just a facebook pic. Life goes on that's why they're called The Ex Wife. Don't make yourself look bad and do yourself harm until you know the truth.

[leahandlucas 15]

Life goes on that's why they're called The Ex Wife. Don't make yourself look bad and do yourself harm until you know the truth.

Yeah, and unfortunately some "ex's" never seem to be able to keep out either...so sometimes life actually doesn't go on...

[Myopia 93]

Speaking from experience. Stress can cause miscarriages. If he has a baby with her or not, you have to take care of yourself. The first 12 weeks are really important and stress can really affect you.

Please try to take it easy.

You will have nothing but regrets when you realise that your stressing over what you can not change has resulted in the loss of a child.

Sorry to put it that way.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

First off, you do not even know if in fact he has been cheating, if the baby is his, etc etc. You said suddenly she stopped calling. That being the case, isn't it kinda strange that if they were having a baby together that she would be calling more frequently? Before you jump to conclusions and ruin what may still be a great marriage, I would sit him down and talk with him, tell him your concerns and ask him to just be honest and straight forward with you. If, worse case scenario, he has been unfaithful, it is your decision on what you want or need to do, however, as you said, put the child first. If the child is born here, your child will be an American citizen. Plus it is possible for you, if the circumstances you have stated prove to be true and you can provide evidence it may be possible for you to continue staying here, applying for citizenship on our own. I would honestly suggest you calm down, talk with your husband, try and obtain the truth, and then go from there. Also, in this matter, if it turns out to be true, I would strongly suggest obtaining the advise of legal council to determine what your options are.

1. Reason for the ex calling so badly could be to tell him she's pregnant. She could have stopped calling because he answered and they talked about it and he told her to chill out and he's been secretly keeping in contact with her and planning on leaving till the OP got preggers and now he doesn't know what to do

2. the child is a US citizen no matter where it's born as it's parent is a USC

3. She doesn't need to prove that he's a cheater for her to stay here. She's already AOS'd so she would simply need to divorce and file ROC with a divorce waiver. It's not that hard so worrying about her status is needless

I agree the OP needs to relax a bit, especially for her own health and that of her unborn child but I also completely understand how she would fly into a panic when she found all that out and started putting two and two together (whether getting four or not we'll soon see).

I hope for your sake OP, that its not true and you're just freaking out for no reason. If this IS the case (that it's not his kid) your husband needs to work on his behaviour so you feel like you can actually trust him.