2012 Election Cancelled

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

2012 Election Cancelled

Obama Buoyed by 100 Percent Approval Rating

WASHINGTON – In what historians are calling an unprecedented development in American politics, both major parties decided today to cancel the 2012 election.

The decision to scrap the 2012 contest came on the heels of a new poll showing President Barack Obama with an approval rating of one hundred percent, believed to be a record high for an American president.

Mr. Obama even polled well among Republicans, with a majority of GOP voters agreeing with the statement, “I no longer care that he wasn’t born here.”

The new bipartisan spirit sweeping the nation was captured well by House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), who tearfully told reporters, “This is a great day for America… oh, leave me alone, goddamn it.”

Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump made no official announcement, but sources said he was considering running for Prime Minister of Canada.

The cancellation of the election comes in the aftermath of the death of Osama bin Laden, whose last words reportedly were, “I knew I shouldn’t have signed up for Foursquare.”

Of all the major news networks, Fox News did not report news of bin Laden’s death, saying that it would air cartoons “until further notice.”

In Libya, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi issued the following official statement: “Uh-oh.”

In North Korea, President Kim Jong-Il said this: “I have lost my last friend on Facebook.”

[Saddle Bronc 124]

shallot-juice,

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

George H W Bush had the same thing after the first Gulf War. 20 months later he lost his re-election to someone on one ever heard of in 1991.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

George H W Bush had the same thing after the first Gulf War. 20 months later he lost his re-election to someone on one ever heard of in 1991.

psst, Borowitz Report (= competition to The Onion).