Is there any chance for us?

[robertavegas 0]

I entered the U.S. in September 2000 without inspection. I was granted voluntary departure but I never left the country. I continued living in the U.S. with my boyfriend, the same boyfriend who helped me come in the U.S. without a visa. We have one child who was born in the States and is an American citizen. The things weren't going good between us. He was abusive towards me, so all I wanted was to get away from him, and the only way I could think of was going back to my home country. Finally, after several years negotiating with him to let me go and take my child with me, he agreed, but only because he decided to move back to his own country - Mexico.

Now we are back home, or should I say - I am back home, and my child is in a country that he can't call his own. He is suffering a grate deal. He doesn't speak the language at all, he doesn't know the alphabet (we use Cyrillic letters here), he is not learning anything new in school (these are his words). He is in second grade, which is equivalent to 1st grade in the U.S. He already graduated from 1st grade in the U.S. and started attending 2nd grade before our move. I had to put him in lower grade because of the language inability. I don't know if he will pass the grade. I haven't gotten a report card yet. The teachers don't know how to grade him and are waiting for instructions from the higher authorities. My heart is braking every day when I see him struggle to adjust. His teachers tell me that I have to take him to counseling. He is sent to the principal's office at least once a week. He used to be a good student back in the U.S., now he is nowhere - he is not learning Macedonian because he refuses to learn it, and his English is stagnant. Not to mention that he misses his home, his friends, his school, even the food he used to eat there. We are 5 1/2 months here, and he has been eating bread and butter for breakfast and lunch in school because he doesn't eat the food they give in school. My heart is breaking every minute of the day when I watch this little person dealing with things he shouldn't at this early age. And it is all my fault.

I know that I triggered the 10-year ban by not leaving the U.S. on time. I also know that there is some kind of a waiver to that ban but I am not sure if it applies to my case. I would appreciate any input.

[canadian_wife 1,826]

Under what circumstances do you want to return to the US? You are not married to a US citizen nor does it seem you have a job in the US

You cannot return simply because your son is a US citizen

I am sorry, but you and your son are in Macedonia for the foreseeable future.

How long have you been back? Have you gotten him a tutor? Are you helping him make friends?

I am sorry for your situation, good luck

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

You cannot apply for a hardship waiver, as you have no visa. Kids have a hard time leaving their friends, but they do adjust, and he will learn the language once he stops being stuborn.

Maybe having your son in an English speaking school in the meantime will help, and also give him some link to the culture he is used to? For example the American School: http://www.asm.edu.mk/

[Boiler 45,930]

So you want to immigrate to the US?

But you do not mention any basis to do so.

Sounds like you should concentrate first on his language skills.

[robertavegas 0]

Under what circumstances do you want to return to the US? You are not married to a US citizen nor does it seem you have a job in the US

You cannot return simply because your son is a US citizen

I am sorry, but you and your son are in Macedonia for the foreseeable future.

How long have you been back? Have you gotten him a tutor? Are you helping him make friends?

I am sorry for your situation, good luck

Hi canadian_wife. Thank you for reading my post. To answer some of your questions.

No, I am not married to a US citizen and I don't have a job in the US.

We have been back since mid November 2010, about 5 1/2 months. No, I haven't gotten a tutor for my son simply because I can't afford one. I am still looking for a job myself and the chances of finding a job are very slim in this bad economy. Even when I start working I won't be able to afford a tutor. The father is not paying child support. I have been tutoring him myself though. I have BA in Macedonian language. My tutoring is not working for him. His resistance is too big. He doesn't want to learn the language. His teachers in school have the same problem. If someone doesn't want to learn something, no matter what you do and how hard you try, there won't be any success. On the other hand, he doesn't have problem making friends. He has made a lot of friends in these few months. You would think, since he is communicating with kids his age, that he will learn the language faster. But, contrary, kids his age already speak some English and they communicate with him in English. So, that is not helping either.

[Boiler 45,930]

You have not answered the basic question, this is a US Immigration Forum.

[robertavegas 0]

You cannot apply for a hardship waiver, as you have no visa. Kids have a hard time leaving their friends, but they do adjust, and he will learn the language once he stops being stuborn.

Maybe having your son in an English speaking school in the meantime will help, and also give him some link to the culture he is used to? For example the American School: http://www.asm.edu.mk/

Hello Penguin_ie. I can't apply for a hardship waiver because I don't have a visa? If I had a visa I wouldn't need a waiver, right?

I know that eventually my son will learn the language. I am just wondering how many years he will be behind by the time that happens. He has lost one year already in the start.

We considered the American School. My ex promised that he will pay at least for the first year, just to give our son a head-start, a chance to learn the new language and at the same time to continue his education undisturbed. But two days before our plane was leaving he changed his mind and said it was "stupid" to pay so much money for school. One year at the American school costs €3,850, which is about $5,700. I don't have that kind of money. I am still looking for a job myself. Most people earn $250-$350 a month here. I had to opt for public school for which I pay only $50 a month.

[robertavegas 0]

So you want to immigrate to the US?

But you do not mention any basis to do so.

Sounds like you should concentrate first on his language skills.

Hi Boiler, don't be so hard on me. I work on my son's language skills every day. Few days a week we work on his English language skills too. Reading a book before bed time is a must.

[canadian_wife 1,826]

I am sorry, but it doesn't look like you'll be returning to the US. You have no basis to apply for a visa (and thus, apply for a waiver)

You can send your son to his USC father in the US, but you would not be able to join him.

Your son is resistant?!?!? He's 7. Of course he is resistant. My 7 year old nephew is resistant to eating broccoli, but he sits at the table until its gone.

I know this is breaking your heart, but your son will adjust. You need to focus on making his life the best one possible and not focus on returning to the US

Sorry, and good luck

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Children that age can be very very stubburn but they also recover. Your son will be able to return to the US when he is an adult. You have a 10 year ban and no visable path to shortening it. Does your son have a US passport ?

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

Basically, using a waiver goes as follows:

- You apply for a visa

- You get denied because of the ban

- The person who petitioned for you (must be a close relative- parent, spouse etc) then applied for a waiver based on their (The US citizen's) hardship.

As you have no US spouse or close relative, this isn't going to happen.

I am sorry. I know it is hard to be in a country you do not want to be in, for both of you. and to see your child suffer. But he will adjust, and he seems bright from what you say, so he will catch up.

[robertavegas 0]

I am sorry, but it doesn't look like you'll be returning to the US. You have no basis to apply for a visa (and thus, apply for a waiver)

You can send your son to his USC father in the US, but you would not be able to join him.

Your son is resistant?!?!? He's 7. Of course he is resistant. My 7 year old nephew is resistant to eating broccoli, but he sits at the table until its gone.

I know this is breaking your heart, but your son will adjust. You need to focus on making his life the best one possible and not focus on returning to the US

Sorry, and good luck

In fact I am not focused on returning to the US. I just wanted to know if that is an option for us or not.

It is just so hard when your child says something, like this morning, that he won't be eating his breakfast in school because they don't give good food like in his old school, muffins and cinnamon rolls, and good snacks. It will be bread and butter for him for breakfast and for lunch too.

No, I can't send my son to his USC father in the US because he is not USC first of all and he is not in the US any more. He is Mexican citizen living in Mexico now.

Children that age can be very very stubburn but they also recover. Your son will be able to return to the US when he is an adult. You have a 10 year ban and no visable path to shortening it. Does your son have a US passport ?

Yes, he has a US passport.

[robertavegas 0]

Basically, using a waiver goes as follows:

- You apply for a visa

- You get denied because of the ban

- The person who petitioned for you (must be a close relative- parent, spouse etc) then applied for a waiver based on their (The US citizen's) hardship.

As you have no US spouse or close relative, this isn't going to happen.

I am sorry. I know it is hard to be in a country you do not want to be in, for both of you. and to see your child suffer. But he will adjust, and he seems bright from what you say, so he will catch up.

Thank you for the info and for the goodhearted words. I really appreciate that.

[katiemanny 64]

Basically, using a waiver goes as follows:

- You apply for a visa

- You get denied because of the ban

- The person who petitioned for you (must be a close relative- parent, spouse etc) then applied for a waiver based on their (The US citizen's) hardship.

As you have no US spouse or close relative, this isn't going to happen.

I am sorry. I know it is hard to be in a country you do not want to be in, for both of you. and to see your child suffer. But he will adjust, and he seems bright from what you say, so he will catch up.

The Person to petition for her must be a Immediate Relative of her, (Spouse or Children) I don't think parents can prove evidence of extreme hardship if their daughter doesn't join them.

The only way for now is to wait until her son turn 21 yrs old to petition for her, that's quite a long time.

Edited May 3, 2011 by katiemanny

[Sergi9 110]

The Person to petition for her must be a Immediate Relative of her, (Spouse or Children) I don't think parents can prove evidence of extreme hardship if their daughter doesn't join them.The only way for now is to wait until her son turn 21 yrs old to petition for her, that's quite a long time.

Not correct...

IF the ground of inadmissibility is for prior unlawful presence or misprepresentation, THEN the qualifying relative is a US Citizen or Lawful Permanent Resident spouse or parent.

IF the ground of inadmissibility is for prior criminal history, THEN the qualifying relative is a US citizen or lawful permanent resident spouse, parent, or child.