spun and dun

[Michaela_Hassan 1]

Mashallah! All the best!

Edited September 8, 2006 by Michaela_Hassan

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Loved your story Amal ...Beautiful...Thank you so much for sharing your experience....

Congratulations...

Dorothy

[amal 4]

How's your day Amal? I know Noor must be 'over the moon' and a happy husband.

Jackie

Mr. Noor is more than "over the moon" He is as bright as the sun now...Our relationship was pretty good to begin with but this has boosted it some 500% hakeeka. Now he can't wait to hug me and he is constantly telling me how great a wife I am (even for the smallest things) It is a dream come true!!! It has completely changed my views since if I want to be Muslim, I can't be partial Muslim..I have to follow the rules to the best of my ability and the rules include how you and your husband treat each other....It's not the easiest thing I've done but by very far...IT IS THE BEST!!!! ALHAMDULILLAH

Wow. Absolutely amazing. Ramadan will have new meaning for you this year. My you continue to receive God's blessings. Congrats!

I'm going to admit, I'm still a little bit worried about how well I'll do in Ramadan...but yeah, I can't wait. I'm sure it will be an experience like none other. (by the way...great to see ya..we miss ya and I always keep ya in my prayers)

Oh my! Wow, what a spur of the moment person you are I love that trait in people Congrats, I wish you all the best and Eid Mubarak!

thanks!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

The "rules" often vary depending on who you're talking to and what the cultural interpretations are where they are from, so it is best to keep an open mind and and to verify what you are told, for we are called on to follow God and not man.

The Quran itself contains few laws; it's only about 10% legislative. The major expressions of law are from traditional cultural interpretations, which, in Islamic law, are allowed to vary, and from fiqh, the opinions of jurists, which is not limited to the Quran and Sunnah. The great jurists themselves required us to verify their rulings and to reject what we did not agree with. We have the right and responsibility to do so.

There are four major Sunni schools of fiqh and their rulings vary about 25% between them. For example, one school allows a father to marry off his daughter without her knowledge or permission, whereas another allows her to choose her own husband without her father's permission. So, you can see, these are not always minor differences.

Tradition has allowed for the incorporation of one's culture within the permissible variances, and that is why in the manner of dress, you see everything from burkas to what is considered to be modest in a western context as an expression of what is allowable.

For example, my extensive study has taught me that headcovering is optional, but has been incorporated from pre-Islamic regional traditions. Someone else will tell you it is mandatory, someone else will tell you that niquab is mandatory, someone else says that you can wear only black. These differences are often based on regional practices. It is not necessary to adopt the expressions of a particular country when you are not living there. It is respectful and proper to do so when you are.

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims with rules, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Islam is only some about rules, it is mostly about spiritual transformation and how your life can positively touch others. Be cool, learn the basics, take baby steps - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

If you have any questions, feel free to call on me. I taught Islam for many years and am always happy yo help.

Edited September 8, 2006 by szsz

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Be cool, learn the basics - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

very informative post and i think we've all seen that about some trying to "out muslim" the others.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, some things are easy and formulaic, like headcovering and name changing. These give you a feeling of "insta-identity" and belonging, which is important, but not meant to be superficial. Then, you learn a few quotes and ayat that put in you in the game regarding discussing the faith, and a few cute ways to wear hijab. Bingo, you have used up all the magic in the the Insta-Muslim convert kit.

However, this can lull you into feeling comfortable and relaxed because, sadly, other than this, and a few housewifey and motherly obligations that women are expected to fulfill, there is little of substance that is required of women converts in most communities. And, unfortunately, too many women are happy to accept this as their lot. I think we should offer a lot more, for most women are capable of wonderful contributions and great knowledge.

Edited September 8, 2006 by szsz

[amal 4]

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Be cool, learn the basics - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

very informative post and i think we've all seen that about some trying to "out muslim" the others.

I really hope that wasn't directed at me because I have not tried to "out muslim" anybody. I was just sharing my story...hope it wasn't ill received.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I really hope that wasn't directed at me because I have not tried to "out muslim" anybody. I was just sharing my story...hope it wasn't ill received.

Ignore him.

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Be cool, learn the basics - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

very informative post and i think we've all seen that about some trying to "out muslim" the others.

I really hope that wasn't directed at me because I have not tried to "out muslim" anybody. I was just sharing my story...hope it wasn't ill received.

not aimed at you at all

[amal 4]

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Be cool, learn the basics - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

very informative post and i think we've all seen that about some trying to "out muslim" the others.

I really hope that wasn't directed at me because I have not tried to "out muslim" anybody. I was just sharing my story...hope it wasn't ill received.

not aimed at you at all

Thanks for clarifying that

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

It is not uncommon for a new convert to want to "out-Muslim" other Muslims, but try not to fall into that trap, it's really annoying. Be cool, learn the basics - btw, headcovering and name-changing are not among them. Those are merely symbols and while symbols are ok, they do not make up for a lack of depth in one's faith.

very informative post and i think we've all seen that about some trying to "out muslim" the others.

I really hope that wasn't directed at me because I have not tried to "out muslim" anybody. I was just sharing my story...hope it wasn't ill received.

not aimed at you at all

Thanks for clarifying that

if i aim something at someone there is very little room for doubt

[amal 4]

ooooooooooooooooookie dokkkkkkkkie

[deeshla 0]

Well, some things are easy and formulaic, like headcovering and name changing. These give you a feeling of "insta-identity" and belonging, which is important, but not meant to be superficial. Then, you learn a few quotes and ayat that put in you in the game regarding discussing the faith, and a few cute ways to wear hijab. Bingo, you have used up all the magic in the the Insta-Muslim convert kit.

However, this can lull you into feeling comfortable and relaxed because, sadly, other than this, and a few housewifey and motherly obligations that women are expected to fulfill, there is little of substance that is required of women converts in most communities. And, unfortunately, too many women are happy to accept this as their lot. I think we should offer a lot more, for most women are capable of wonderful contributions and great knowledge.

Wow, thank god for you. I wish I could meet more Muslim women like you - this has been my problem from the get-go - seeing converts buy into a strange identity replacement including name change, headscarving and submissive behavior.

While I was in Morocco I met a scholar from Atlanta -- a convert, a thinker and a feminist - also a very happy single Mom. She said exactly the same things you are saying -- she concetrates on improving the academic knowledge of Islam by teaching it at university level. She was also surprised to see women (from Christian backgrounds) become so submissive and anti-Christian after conversion (usually from husband-pressure). When I read stuff like this it actually affrims the beauty and potential *I* see in Islam, both for myself and for the world.

And to Amal (this was my "Moroccan" name in the bled) - mabrouk 3lik bizef. I think you came into it in the best way - and it is good to see that you are still open to your experience and that you still express doubts.

Amanda

[ya falaha! 0]

That's how I was when I first reverted. I was so gung ho and pointing out what others were doing wrong as if my shitt didn't stink. I have an Islamic name (Kareema) but the only ones who use it are my inlaws and my husband.

[amal 4]

Well, some things are easy and formulaic, like headcovering and name changing. These give you a feeling of "insta-identity" and belonging, which is important, but not meant to be superficial. Then, you learn a few quotes and ayat that put in you in the game regarding discussing the faith, and a few cute ways to wear hijab. Bingo, you have used up all the magic in the the Insta-Muslim convert kit.

However, this can lull you into feeling comfortable and relaxed because, sadly, other than this, and a few housewifey and motherly obligations that women are expected to fulfill, there is little of substance that is required of women converts in most communities. And, unfortunately, too many women are happy to accept this as their lot. I think we should offer a lot more, for most women are capable of wonderful contributions and great knowledge.

Wow, thank god for you. I wish I could meet more Muslim women like you - this has been my problem from the get-go - seeing converts buy into a strange identity replacement including name change, headscarving and submissive behavior.

While I was in Morocco I met a scholar from Atlanta -- a convert, a thinker and a feminist - also a very happy single Mom. She said exactly the same things you are saying -- she concetrates on improving the academic knowledge of Islam by teaching it at university level. She was also surprised to see women (from Christian backgrounds) become so submissive and anti-Christian after conversion (usually from husband-pressure). When I read stuff like this it actually affrims the beauty and potential *I* see in Islam, both for myself and for the world.

And to Amal (this was my "Moroccan" name in the bled) - mabrouk 3lik bizef. I think you came into it in the best way - and it is good to see that you are still open to your experience and that you still express doubts.

Amanda

Thanks Of course I have doubts..I was a very faithfull Christian most of my life but the last 10 years, I just didn't feel it anymore....so I had to seriously think about what my heart was telling me...i'll explain that more in full when i get home from work.