curious..How many people have hated on your SO?

[ClayinChina 0]

I am lucky because my family is extremely open minded. Also, it is not uncommon here for young men to marry women from other countries, especially. Since almost every man goes on a LDS (Mormon) mission from the age of 19-21, they usually meet people overseas. While most don't marry anyone from that experience (they are not allowed to date during that time, and are pretty faithful about it) it leads them to travel back there later or meet someone from that country while at BYU or the University of Utah. I am not Mormon, actually, but growing up around that did definitely light the first flames of interest in international travel.

However, some of my friends were a bit skeptical. Not of my wife, but of me wanting to run off and marry an exotic woman after always saying I wouldn't marry until I was 30-something (instead of 23) and how stupid all the people in Utah were for getting married so young (men average 22, and women 20 I've heard). Only one of my two best friends was openly hostile, and it really has hurt our relationship that he has no interest in hanging out with me when she tags along (and coming from China born post 1980, she thinks she has to tag along for EVERYTHING and there is no such thing as a guys night, haha). But all of the rest of my friends love her to death. It's been really great. Actually better than I thought it would be.

Clay

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Topic moved from General Immigration Discussion forum as while it touches on immigrants it is more about attitudes experienced from others during the immigration process than about the process itself and is more appropriately addressed here.

[Ironman140 45]

Still in the early stages . But so far just her grown children have tried to break us up. They Have since decided to fight each other. Over who gets the house when she moves here. Children think we will sell it and take a long honey moon ;-)

Edited May 3, 2011 by Ironman140

[san diego 407]

Actually, I found more understanding here in US from everyone than from her friends in Russia.

[TheSahlis 10]

For me an my wife we have experienced both acceptance and rejection

My Wife:

Her family and most close friends are completely supportive though she lost a couple of friends for falling in love with a "Yank". Her children have adopted me and treat me as if I had always been in there life, and they are teens.

Me:

I was raised by adopted parents that later split up themselves, My "Father" is tolerant to our face but hasn't shown any true acceptance of my wife, and my "Mother" has dis owned me. Two of my "Sisters" are very stand offish, one has embraced you with open arms, and one has also dis-owned me and we no longer speak and I don't think that will ever change she also was publicly rude and talked a lot of trash to the rest of the family. My birth "Mother's" family has embraced my wife as one of the family and love her as much as they love me.

lesson learned .... those that love you will also love your chosen partner, those that don't will use it as an excuse to show there true colors.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Actually, I found more understanding here in US from everyone than from her friends in Russia.

My wife is a bit upset all her friends back in the Philippines don't want to talk to her anymore, except for the few that want her to find "Kano" boyfriends for them. Her family, well she hears from more distant relatives that wouldn't give her the time of day before, asking for this or that, or to "share the wealth". Now she is afraid to go back lest she be robbed blind the minute she gets off the plane.

Edited May 3, 2011 by Some Old Guy

[luckytxn 2,264]

Everybody loves my wife a lot. Have even hooked up two friends, one who has since married after the visa and another soon it looks like. Her family is super and treat me great even her overbearing mother. Still have to find husbands for 3 more of her family and friends.

[SMOKE 1,426]

my wife's family & friends have all been supportive.

a couple of my family members were not at first, but have come around since meeting & getting to know her. i have severed a few friendships due to issues. some were long time friends & imo @ the time close friends. but, in retrospect once any suspicions were debunked & they still have issues. i really don't need them in my life & apparently they weren't that good or close friends anyway.

Edited May 4, 2011 by SMOKE

[MrsAmancio 1]

I can relate to most of you. I have had a very similar response from my family. They think he only wants a visa but they havent even taken the time to meet him or learn anything about him. My sister and I had some issues becasue of him but so far it has been settled on my part. I wasnt there when they had their issue/confrontation so I am not getting in the middle.

Most Dominicans are very skeptical of this process they think people only want the green card so I just ignore it. I have seen some very successful marriages come out of these situation within my family adn friends as well as some disastrous ones. In ever relationship there are risks but with great risks come great rewards. Don't let anybody doubt you. Your friends should let you know how they feel but support you anyways. That's what friends do!!

Sannybel, you've said it best!!!

My wife is a bit upset all her friends back in the Philippines don't want to talk to her anymore, except for the few that want her to find "Kano" boyfriends for them. Her family, well she hears from more distant relatives that wouldn't give her the time of day before, asking for this or that, or to "share the wealth". Now she is afraid to go back lest she be robbed blind the minute she gets off the plane.

damn shame the way some people get greedy and want to take advantage...

[MrsAmancio 1]

For me an my wife we have experienced both acceptance and rejection

My Wife:

Her family and most close friends are completely supportive though she lost a couple of friends for falling in love with a "Yank". Her children have adopted me and treat me as if I had always been in there life, and they are teens.

Me:

I was raised by adopted parents that later split up themselves, My "Father" is tolerant to our face but hasn't shown any true acceptance of my wife, and my "Mother" has dis owned me. Two of my "Sisters" are very stand offish, one has embraced you with open arms, and one has also dis-owned me and we no longer speak and I don't think that will ever change she also was publicly rude and talked a lot of trash to the rest of the family. My birth "Mother's" family has embraced my wife as one of the family and love her as much as they love me.

lesson learned .... those that love you will also love your chosen partner, those that don't will use it as an excuse to show there true colors.

Beautiful synopsis....a great learning experience to say the least. Time will tell how this will all unfold....but Aztec & Taino said it best...who really cares what everyone else thinks? Support or move on....I only have to come home everyday to my hubby and child(ren). Awww but too bad you're whole family responded that way....love should be more important than opinion.....live and let live!!!

[MrsAli 0]

Yeah i noticed some jealousy. People trying to point out flaws in my realationship. But these people have noone so can they really see that much wrong? Bottom line i feel blessed and happy. All praises due to God!!!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

All I know is my kids like her, my ex loathes her, the people at my church are polite to her, and my family, well, let's just say I live my life and they live theirs. (My family is nowhere near me :dance: ) Besides I live my life, and I have never been happier. the only people native to America are the Native American tribes. Everyone else here had to immigrate from somewhere at sometime in their past. they just forgot that at one point their family was new here to. the problem is not that there are people we could marry in America. The issue is we treasure some traditions and values much more highly those those we meet around us.

WELL SAID DARREN. Thanks!

[MrsAmancio 1]

I live in Florida, around alot of "Rednecks" (including myself at one time).

My co-workers all frown upon my situation (how I met my husband and this process), My best friend treads lightlty, but you can tell she is worried for me, my family are 2 faced nice to our face and then talk #######, and one of my nieces that I absolutely treasured (I practically raised her)will not talk or see me at all anymore.

I love my husband. So I deal with it but it is very hard sometimes. I only cry over my niece, everyone else I do not care what they think or how they feel.

same here but in the city not a redneck part...damn!! that's tough about the niece and a shame how people can be so damn judgmental. But you are sticking by your guns and what you believe in...household family comes first!

Yeah i noticed some jealousy. People trying to point out flaws in my realationship. But these people have noone so can they really see that much wrong? Bottom line i feel blessed and happy. All praises due to God!!!

Bottom line i feel blessed and happy..

This response seems to have somehow summed it all up....You go girl!!