am I cheap?

[xxxwabbiexxx 70]

Second post, this stroy has really pi***d me off!! like someone said you are generous, not cheap and she is giving the Philipine girls the reputation they dont deserve!!!!!

There is a perfect woman out there for you somewhere else, she is not it.

We might all be sounding harsh , but you either don't have anyone in your friendship and family circle who know about this or the people in your circle don't have the balls to be honest with you.

I'm going to say what I'd say to you if you were my friend. I don't care if you love her, she does not love you, and once you get this gold digger out your life you will miss her for about 5 minutes then the relief will kick in and you'll be happy again. You'll think 'oooo I've got money, what is this, I've not had it for so long I don't even remember who is on a $50 or $100 bill anymore'

I've looked at your profile aswel and things are there a screaming at you that this girls is a parasite!! I bet she's spending your money on going out and getting drunk, taking her friends out, buying new cloths etc, I bet she doesn't even spend it on her kid!!! One person said don't buy her ticket or cancel it if you have, this person couldn't have put it any better!! because no doubt she'll be expecting you to pay for that and if you don't she stick her bottom lip out and throw her toys out the pram, only adding to the long list of reasons not to be with this little immature girl!!!

[TheFantastics09 19]

This is far from a healthy relationship....... run.

[Anh map 2,098]

You are being taken advantage of.

If you wouldn't "tolerate" this from a person here in the US why would you tolerate it from a person from anywhere else?

The old adage "there are plenty of fish in the sea" comes to mind.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Give me her email address, and $100 a month for the next year, and I will take care of this for you. You will have saved THOUSANDS, and will be happier when I am done, I promise.

Ok, that was a joke. But SERIOUSLY... walk away. Now. Been there, seen those types. Not just in the PI, but they are everywhere. I love my gurl, but if she ever acts like that, even after she gets here, I would drop her like a hot potato. If you are not working/saving together for retirement now, then you are not a TEAM. And why be married to the "other side"?

Trouble, trouble, trouble, most likely in a small, cute package. But as TCO said, there are thousands in the PI to choose from who have good hearts, so don't waste your time on this one.

And in case I didn't say it well enough... WALK AWAY. NOW.

[Laser1 63]

You are dealing with a "Moral Hazard" situation. It is the same kind of thing that led to the financial collapse in 2008. She can ask and spend as much as possible with no consequences to her, while you bear all of the risk. One way or another, you have to allow her to feel the consequences of overspending, perhaps by limiting how much you send, or by postponing things.

You can read more about moral hazard here: Moral Hazard

[sam357 4]

You are being used in the worst way and being robbed. I am fortunate that I live close to the PI and I go every month and have an apartment with my fiancee. You are spending more money in a week than I spend all year to have an apartment, electricity, cable and Internet access along with food for my girl. I grew up in the PI, but I am not Filipino, and have been going back for years. I see this happen to many men who don't listen to good advice. Once you get her to the States you will be in for serious heartbreak, she will dump you as soon as she gets the chance to get somebody that she thinks can provide a little more. You should just cut your loses and move on...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

she will dump you as soon as she gets the chance to get somebody that she thinks can provide a little more. You should just cut your loses and move on...

Or worse, find a way to bring her baby's daddy here, or one of her ex's, while continuing to bleed the poor sap dry.

[devastedme 2]

So sorry to tell you this but you are being PLAYED!!!!.....WE are living in hard times, people are not sure if they will have their jobs tomorrow or next week and she wants the latest gadgets?? Honestly i don't see love and support here! I am sorry...

Exactly what I am trying to say. We need to have saving for raining days. At this rate, I don't know what I am going to do.

But she knows I am not rich. That is what I don't understand. I keep telling her I am not rich. I am not rich.

You are dealing with a "Moral Hazard" situation. It is the same kind of thing that led to the financial collapse in 2008. She can ask and spend as much as possible with no consequences to her, while you bear all of the risk. One way or another, you have to allow her to feel the consequences of overspending, perhaps by limiting how much you send, or by postponing things.

You can read more about moral hazard here: Moral Hazard

But she gets moody or calls me cheap if I don't do as she says.

Give me her email address, and $100 a month for the next year, and I will take care of this for you. You will have saved THOUSANDS, and will be happier when I am done, I promise.

Ok, that was a joke. But SERIOUSLY... walk away. Now. Been there, seen those types. Not just in the PI, but they are everywhere. I love my gurl, but if she ever acts like that, even after she gets here, I would drop her like a hot potato. If you are not working/saving together for retirement now, then you are not a TEAM. And why be married to the "other side"?

Trouble, trouble, trouble, most likely in a small, cute package. But as TCO said, there are thousands in the PI to choose from who have good hearts, so don't waste your time on this one.

And in case I didn't say it well enough... WALK AWAY. NOW.

But she did tell me, do not worry, we are spending now a lot because of the visa and the fact that she needs to travel for her visa and her visa kid. Once she is here she said, things will be different and we will spend less.

You are being taken advantage of.

If you wouldn't "tolerate" this from a person here in the US why would you tolerate it from a person from anywhere else?

The old adage "there are plenty of fish in the sea" comes to mind.

But she is funny and she makes me forget work stress. Maybe that is why I am giving her a chance.

[devastedme 2]

This is far from a healthy relationship....... run.

It is hard to say. I think it is my fault in a way. Sometimes when she tells me she is bored, I tell her things like: Hey Mary, can you go to the mall and see if you can find a dress this color or that color. Tell me the price and I buy it for you. One day, I told her I want to see her with sexy underwear. When she came back. She quote me $325 for like 10 pairs of them. I just sent her the money. But before I send money I always tell her. Listen I am buying this for you but I am not rich. It will not be like this always.

I am just afraid that she will not be happy with me and I feel like offering her things to keep her happy.

[Mike&Cherry 45]

A Good Filipina would never ask for money like this or never do these types of things to you. She has alterior motives. If she goes to the US she will put you through the ringer. This is a sure sign of a Scammer. I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Cut your losses, contact the Embassy and USCIS to inform them. I know it's hard to just stop the relationship, but it's going to get drastically worse if you continue. There are many Good Filipinas out there, but she is definately not one of them.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

But she is funny and she makes me forget work stress. Maybe that is why I am giving her a chance.

Stop thinking with your dipstick, laddie!

[devastedme 2]

Just my two cents here -She seems to be using you as her ''Sugar Daddy''. Sorry to say , but I think she is playing you and taking you for a ride . Consider your options before she gets here . I know you know you love her, but I do not think that she loves you .As many said before , many decent pinay girls are shy to ask for money . Maybe she is ''americanised '' already before hitting the shores . I literally have to beg my fiancee to accept gifts and money from me ( she is college educated and have a good job) .You have your plate full already and your work cut out for you . All is not lost -think before you leap .Good luck .

Mine works and is college educated. A very nice girl and funny. The only thing about her is that she does not want to understand that I am not a rich guy.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

A Good Filipina would never ask for money like this or never do these types of things to you. She has alterior motives. If she goes to the US she will put you through the ringer. This is a sure sign of a Scammer. I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Cut your losses, contact the Embassy and USCIS to inform them. I know it's hard to just stop the relationship, but it's going to get drastically worse if you continue. There are many Good Filipinas out there, but she is definately not one of them.

[Laser1 63]

But she gets moody or calls me cheap if I don't do as she says.

But she did tell me, do not worry, we are spending now a lot because of the visa and the fact that she needs to travel for her visa and her visa kid. Once she is here she said, things will be different and we will spend less.

Let her get moody, or call you cheap; as long as you hold your money, things will be ok. You must, must, must hold your ground for that behavior to stop.

Also, expect spending to increase once she is here, simply because prices are higher.

[devastedme 2]

Some times, I feel it is my fault. I think I am the one trying to offer her things to make her happy. It is as if I am scared not to see her happy.

Edited May 1, 2011 by devastedme