am I cheap?

[TheFantastics09 19]

It is hard to say. I think it is my fault in a way. Sometimes when she tells me she is bored, I tell her things like: Hey Mary, can you go to the mall and see if you can find a dress this color or that color. Tell me the price and I buy it for you. One day, I told her I want to see her with sexy underwear. When she came back. She quote me $325 for like 10 pairs of them. I just sent her the money. But before I send money I always tell her. Listen I am buying this for you but I am not rich. It will not be like this always.

I am just afraid that she will not be happy with me and I feel like offering her things to keep her happy.

She already is not happy with you, can you not see that? When she grinds you into the dirt and leaves you broken and destitute, then and only then will you realize how you have been played for a fool. I hope someone from the government gets a chance to read these posts and stops you from bringing such a disaster to the States.

This is the World Wide Web, Darlin'. Everything posted here is available for everyone to see. Catch my drift?

Edited May 2, 2011 by TheFantastics09

[ThomKimQC 14]

Hello,

I am taking a lunch break. I need to clarify few things. I feel I created the situation. Let me give you a bit of a background. I met her on Yahoo last year. One of my friend has friends in the Phil. and he goes there just for fun. He is married here in USA. I asked him for advice and one of the advice he gave me was to give her the money as soon as I go there. He said Phil. is a dangerous country and they always think Americans always carrying money with them. Before I went to visit her, I repeated to her many times that I am not a rich guy. I work to pay my bills. She said she has no problem with that.

When I came back, I think that is when I started the situation I am in now. I think I made her addicted to this. The first thing I told her was listen Mary I gave you a engagement ring but I don't like the way it matches with the rest of your jewelry. Can you please try to find matching jewelry so that it goes well with the engagement ring? she said sure. She quoted me $1,300(dollars) for a reckless and earrings. (white diamond). I did not argue with her because it was my fault for asking her in the first place to go and search for jewelry.

She is not the most beautiful person in the world but so hard to resist her charm. I feel like giving everything I can afford. But I think I went to far.

Now whenever she needs something and I don't give her the right amount, there she goes calling me "Cheap guy" and later moody.

I really don't have the gut to blame her for everything. I did not know how to handle her charm and maybe I lost my head. Now I am paying for it.

I believe it is a 50/50 situation. But regardless, I don't like when she calls me cheap. I don't know why. I feel she does not appreciate anything. Not only my heart but material things also.

You seem to be a good guy I can truly tell that by the way you are trying to admit your fault. Enough people including myself have given you pure hell on your situation. Being American at times we are looked upon in a different light than pinoy. Our words are often twisted or misunderstood, I know because I had issue sin the past with this same problem with a couple Phil ladies. I don't know your lady and I can't feel her heart only you how she makes you feel aside from the money issue. My question to you is how does she make you feel when money is not topic of conversation when you talk or together? I am like you sir , looks does not matter to me as you expressed she is not the most beautiful lady in Phils but its her charm and that is what makes a woman from Phils so unique, the unforgotten charm that captures your soul. I know how you feel and it was wrong of me to judge you or her in my earlier post. You are reaching out for help and all we are giving is headache. If you truly love this woman from your heart to hers then open up to her and tell her how hurt you are from the things she says, make her feel your sore heart beat because I promise you if she truly loves you for you then she will admit her wrong and re-establish her devotion to you because that is how I true lady of the Phils do...they have a love like no other and I bet you have experienced that love before from her or you would not be here trying to find asnwers to your situation. If she truly loves you friend she will come to you and show how blessed she is to have a guy like you in her life.

Thom

Edited May 2, 2011 by ThomKimQC

[Tim/Mav 305]

You seem to be a good guy I can truly tell that by the way you are trying to admit your fault. Enough people including myself have given you pure hell on your situation. Being American at times we are looked upon in a different light than pinoy. Our words are often twisted or misunderstood, I know because I had issue sin the past with this same problem with a couple Phil ladies. I don't know your lady and I can't feel her heart only you how she makes you feel aside from the money issue. My question to you is how does she make you feel when money is not topic of conversation when you talk or together? I am like you sir , looks does not matter to me as you expressed she is not the most beautiful lady in Phils but its her charm and that is what makes a woman from Phils so unique, the unforgotten charm that captures your soul. I know how you feel and it was wrong of me to judge you or her in my earlier post. You are reaching out for help and all we are giving is headache. If you truly love this woman from your heart to hers then open up to her and tell her how hurt you are from the things she says, make her feel your sore heart beat because I promise you if she truly loves you for you then she will admit her wrong and re-establish her devotion to you because that is how I true lady of the Phils do...they have a love like no other and I bet you have experienced that love before from her or you would not be here trying to find asnwers to your situation. If she truly loves you friend she will come to you and show how blessed she is to have a guy like you in her life.

Thom

USCIS is Somewhat of a Game Warden. Walking your Dog without a Pooper Scooper and a plastic bag s to say. It is there to prevent Citizens from slipping.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

trip #1.

I bought a package that included hotel and plane tickets. So my package was paid before going to the phi. I took in cash to the Phil.($3,500 dollars for a week) just to spend. And we spent it all. I don't carry money there. I let her carry it.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,600 including the package.

Trip two:

Same thing....same amount spent in cash in 1 week. We spent it all.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,300 including the package.

Just curious, where did you go and what did you do, during these 2 weeks?

Did you really spend it?...or...Did some of the $ find it's way to some1's (not u) pocket?

[Laser1 63]

She quoted me $1,300(dollars) for a reckless and earrings. (white diamond).

Could that be a Freudian slip?

[henry-wenie 0]

First of all u are not worthy to be called"CHEAP".....A lots of filipina ladies that are DECENT and not acting like that i diffinitely saying u got the "GOLDIGGER" one......and thats a big trouble when she got there in US .......She only wants ur money and use u for a way to come to US that is so obvious!!!......If she really love you she must be conservative financially and knows that u work hard to have that money for her and after all she will call u "Cheap".???..........You must think of it before making such a big life altering decision in your life................May God Guide you and ......think think think............

[henry-wenie 0]

This is only my opinion as a woman, send her nothing! See her reaction, if she has a hard time with it then you know she's not worth it. Love comes from the heart, not the wallet.

I aggree!! !!!!.....true love comes from the heart not the wallet...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Could that be a Freudian slip?

I wasn't going so say anything about that, but I am glad you did.

[bjmyrnajourney 1]

wow shes lucky lol don't let her come to the USA,she sound so bad she doesnt sound like she loves you, while my man was here two months ago i was the one who carry his money, we spent $1500 ( for food for fares and stuff not including hotel tho coz it was paid before he came we spent like $350 for the hotel for 21days) and it was enough, and a good woman will never call you that way or act that way, coz she should understand that your earning your money in a hard way, you are not appreciated that is for sure, if you don't wanna get in trouble, coz im pretty sure the way you detailed your situation she is not a good woman better yet drop her and leave her trust me theres so many great women around the world specially philippines don't settle for someone who loves your money not you.

[sunandmoon 450]

I aggree!! !!!!.....true love comes from the heart not the wallet...

money will not buy love.

OP, the one thing I've seen you post positive about her is

But she is funny and she makes me forget work stress. Maybe that is why I am giving her a chance.

time to reflect on the positives and negatives of your relationship. What was she done to show she loves you? What does she want from you that money can't buy? you've been given alot of advise. only you can decide what direction this relationship will go...

[devastedme 2]

You seem to be a good guy I can truly tell that by the way you are trying to admit your fault. Enough people including myself have given you pure hell on your situation. Being American at times we are looked upon in a different light than pinoy. Our words are often twisted or misunderstood, I know because I had issue sin the past with this same problem with a couple Phil ladies. I don't know your lady and I can't feel her heart only you how she makes you feel aside from the money issue. My question to you is how does she make you feel when money is not topic of conversation when you talk or together? I am like you sir , looks does not matter to me as you expressed she is not the most beautiful lady in Phils but its her charm and that is what makes a woman from Phils so unique, the unforgotten charm that captures your soul. I know how you feel and it was wrong of me to judge you or her in my earlier post. You are reaching out for help and all we are giving is headache. If you truly love this woman from your heart to hers then open up to her and tell her how hurt you are from the things she says, make her feel your sore heart beat because I promise you if she truly loves you for you then she will admit her wrong and re-establish her devotion to you because that is how I true lady of the Phils do...they have a love like no other and I bet you have experienced that love before from her or you would not be here trying to find asnwers to your situation. If she truly loves you friend she will come to you and show how blessed she is to have a guy like you in her life.

Thom

Thank you for your kind post. Correct, I am not in a position to judge her. She is a very very nice lady. I am not kidding, I think I am the one who screwed up by starting to treat her the way I did. We do have nice conversations and to be honest? I do not know if that lady has much time on her hands. Communication is very good. It is as if I know every step she makes. She gets alone with my family in general. And I get alone with her family. Specially her mom. We spent so so so much time web-chatting, texting or on the phone. We have many things in common and she just know how to make me laugh. I see when she is cooking, when she is riding to work, when she is work she msg me or I message her. If she is at any party she would let me know. Very open.

------------

Some one mentioned if I am not rich how can I afford those things. To that I say, I am in my late 40's and my job is okay plus I have been saving and things like that. So the little I have for raining day, I have been spending it on her. I don't want to think much about it. My head can easily turn into a roller coaster.

[Mariye & Ky 172]

I know this message was addressed to the OP but I see nothing wrong with the above. In fact, I find it cute. In a way.! When some one finds a princess that is the price that person has to pay for her. Good thing she is showing him the FINE PRINT ahead of time. Many of us don't see that until late in the relationship.

My 2 cents (I almost forgot to give 2 more cents)

You keep leavin' those 2 cents and pretty soon we're going to call you cheap!

[jrmejia 31]

You keep leavin' those 2 cents and pretty soon we're going to call you cheap!

[Brad and Vika 129]

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