Please help!USA is my last chance.

[Lila89 0]

Heya,

I'm new at this site.I don't know if I find the help and advice I'm looking for,

but I'll try anyways.I'm a 21 year old girl from Germany.

So here is my story:

I got harrassed badly all my life here in school,from family,never had friends and feel

really uncomfortable here.I spent one year in MT,USA in between school,then the next summer

as well at another place though.People were really nice for a change.Sure there were gossiping people

too but they are just not grumpy to everyone and give you a chance.I even found someone who likes me

and accepts me.I had to go back to Germany,quit 13th grade "A-level" because the aftermath of the years

of harrassing and loneliness were really getting at me.I got the official degree for 12 years of school.

It's impossible for me though to go university or study otherwise,not because I'm stupid - I'm highly intelligent

and clever,but because I have a bad social phobia now,collapse when around/interacting people,scared of school,loss

of concentration,scared of talking,and am suffering depression,crying non stop...In America those problems barely

existed,I started to heal,had/have people who (would) support(ed) me.I can't even find a low-paid job here in supermarkets

or elsewhere.I worked here and there since I'm out of school,but after a few weeks/months they didn't want such constantly crying worker any longer.

Nor can a therapist help me,because the being scared of talking and collapsing part is always in the way.

Noone wants to be friends with me because those problems make me too complicated and it makes everything even worse.

If it even can be any worse.

Going back to the US,to people that support me and help me,and to a place I feel comfortable is really my last and only chance.

Sadly I don't seem to fullfill any requirements of neither an permanent or working visa and I don't have the money and waiting time for

a Greencard.I got 12 years of school as needed and the strong will of working hard,but I neither have lots of money,have worked for at least 2

years a "real job",haven't studied anything since I'm not able to here,and I don't have family in the US nor am married with someone over there.

I'm really good in photography and would like to study webdesign via distance (online) study,but it's nothing like doctors which would be very needed

and wanted.But I'm very strong-willed to do my best,learn,and work my way up.If I only could immigrate,move there and become my old happy self again and heal

from all the bad.

Then there is the problem that I will need an american co-signer as well.

Can anyone help me?Or does someone have an idea how I can still move there?A leak maybe or is there help for people like me who don't get a chance in their own country?

This life is really killing me here.Please help me.

Which companies are more likely to co-sign and help people out?

I hope someone can help me.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Topic has been moved from Immigration News Discussion forum to General Immigration forum as it is not a news related story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lila,

I'm not familiar with any programmes that would work for you. I'm sorry that you have so many problems at home, but I am also not sure that moving to the US would solve them for you. In spite of its many attractions, the US can be a very difficult country in which to live, especially if you do not have the support of existing family or work colleagues. Going to school here would be different than living here when you are no longer a student and you would probably find it less supportive than you would like.

The US is very stringent on its immigration requirements. If you do not qualify for a family or work based or investors visa - which you are right, don't seem to fit for you - there really isn't any other option, unless you are in one of the countries that has the Immigration Diversity Lottery (I don't believe Germany is included) or qualify as a refugee from a war-torn or politically unstable country. Unfortunately, there are no 'leaks'. The US is incredibly rigid in its enforcement of its immigration policy so that even many of those who are able to come on a legitimate type of visa are denied entry.

You say that coming to the US is your last hope. I understand that life in Germany is very unhappy for you, but I wonder if there is another solution that you may not be seeing. It appears that changing your environment has helped you, so why not look into some of the overseas employment programmes offered by other countries around the world? These would not be permanent relocations, but specific work projects for a specified period of time. You may find that you will have wonderful experiences somewhere else where you can get some sort of a visa.

I am sorry I don't have a list of such programmes available, however I do know that some countries have reciprocal programmes such as the 'working holiday' programme Canada and Australia have with each other. It will involve some research on your part, but is a more likely option than finding a way to come to the US in your current circumstances.

The best advice I can offer if you wish to come to the US is to find some way to continue your education to gain skills that the US wants and is willing to hire workers from outside of the US to get; or to develop one of your talents or skills - such as photography - to an excellence that makes you unique and in demand. There is a visa for those with an outstanding talent that would also allow you to come to the US.

I'm sorry that I have nothing more positive to offer, but please do try to explore other options. While environment contributes to what makes a person happy or unhappy, it won't make an unhappy person happier unless they can learn how to find happiness within themselves first. People can be unhappy in the best and most supportive environments just as much as people can find happiness in what appear to be the worst and least supportive of environments. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but our problems don't always get left behind when we move away to somewhere else. Maybe you can find another supportive environment in Europe (maybe even elsewhere in Germany) that will allow you to be the person you want to be. If you really need to get away, maybe looking for work on a cruise ship might offer you enough changes of environment that you will feel more able to deal with daily stresses?

Regardless, good luck to you.

Edited May 1, 2011 by Kathryn41

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Germany is part of the DV Lottery, but even if you won, Lila, you would have to show that you have:

a) at the very least the equivalent to a US High School Diploma (which would be "Mittlere Reife"), and

b) the financial means to support yourself for at least the first few months.

The grass is always greener on the other side, and America is a fantastic place when you have a solid education, work experience, and money, or even compared to third world countries in general, but if you are a High School dropout with very limited skills and/or poor, this country is a much less desirable place than Germany with its substantial social net.

Go back to Night school (Abendschule) and finish your High School education (Abitur) among adults who won't pick on you. Then go and study whatever you feel is what you want to do in life, tuition free, unlike in the US. Once you have a university diploma and money saved and the means to travel, have a second look at the USA.

Best of luck to you.

[Little_My 464]

Lila,

I agree with both Kathryn and JustBob. You don't have any grounds for immigrating to the US, and trying to come up with one will most likely just be a waste of your time and energy. In stead, I would do exactly what JustBob suggested - finish your high school education, and after that, you not only have all the schools in Germany to choose from, but all the schools in European Union at your reach, many of them tuition free or low tuition. Later in life, maybe after getting a Bachelor's degree in something, you can always look into possibly coming to the US to study, for example - but that requires money, and before you go down that route, you have to make sure you can afford to pay the tuition and living expenses here before you can even get a visa.

Many would give their right arm to have the options EU citizens have in terms of studying and working - take advantage of those options.

[Harsh_77 718]

I think Bob said correctly, you could have been having hard time in your country, but that by itself would not qualify you for immigration to US.

You need to complete your education and then look toward US for your higher education.

[rika60607 215]

Lila,

while immigration to US may not be possible for you currently, have you thought about au pair visa? If you are good with babies, this type of work will provide a roof above your head and an official reason to be in the US.

[LlamaInvasion 76]

Hi Lila!

First let me say, I really do feel for you. I've dealt with terrible hazing and bullying through all my years of school (I've switched schools many times because of this). I've also dealt with over a decade and a half of depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and isolation problems. At my worst, there was a period in 2004 when I didn't leave my apartment for over 6 months straight; not even out in the hallway to get the mail.

Like you, I thought coming to America would be a fresh start when I arrived here on a student visa in 2007. I felt bolder, better, leaving my past behind, and I was ready to make friends in American college. Be part of those groups of friends that hang out and have late-night study sessions in the library and car pool to the movies together.

However, after getting here? All those problems I dealt with at home still exist. I still have isolation issues and social anxiety. I went through 4 years of college in a very, very friendly town, without making a single friend. The ONLY way things have slowly - VERY slowly - started to change for me, is after I took the initiative to do so myself. My husband was one of the first people I dared peek out of my shell with. And after being with my husband for years now, I'm capable of greeting his siblings when we meet them - maybe even hold a conversation for short periods of time. The other day I asked a Wal-Mart employee for something I couldn't find, and it felt like I'd run a marathon afterwards. The only real difference is, I'm at least working on it - on my own initiative - and knowing that I'm getting better, that makes me happy.

In the end, the ONLY thing or person that can make your situation better, is yourself. You need to take the first step. I know it's tough, but try therapy. Explain immediately your issue, in letter form if you must, so that the therapist can understand if you fail to show up for an appointment, or need extra attention. Moving might provide you with a better setting to take that initiative, but I don't think you should be focused so much on the US. It won't magically fix things, and it's certainly no "quick fix." A change of scenery might be great, but I'd really open my mind to exploring all the options for where you can go. That doesn't necessarily mean you should completely give up; there are ways to get here - student visa and au pair has been suggested. However, I am absolutely, positively dead certain, the US is not the only place you can find that your confidence blossoms, so try to be open to other options.

[jrmejia 31]

Topic has been moved from Immigration News Discussion forum to General Immigration forum as it is not a news related story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lila,

I'm not familiar with any programmes that would work for you. I'm sorry that you have so many problems at home, but I am also not sure that moving to the US would solve them for you. In spite of its many attractions, the US can be a very difficult country in which to live, especially if you do not have the support of existing family or work colleagues. Going to school here would be different than living here when you are no longer a student and you would probably find it less supportive than you would like.

The US is very stringent on its immigration requirements. If you do not qualify for a family or work based or investors visa - which you are right, don't seem to fit for you - there really isn't any other option, unless you are in one of the countries that has the Immigration Diversity Lottery (I don't believe Germany is included) or qualify as a refugee from a war-torn or politically unstable country. Unfortunately, there are no 'leaks'. The US is incredibly rigid in its enforcement of its immigration policy so that even many of those who are able to come on a legitimate type of visa are denied entry.

You say that coming to the US is your last hope. I understand that life in Germany is very unhappy for you, but I wonder if there is another solution that you may not be seeing. It appears that changing your environment has helped you, so why not look into some of the overseas employment programmes offered by other countries around the world? These would not be permanent relocations, but specific work projects for a specified period of time. You may find that you will have wonderful experiences somewhere else where you can get some sort of a visa.

I am sorry I don't have a list of such programmes available, however I do know that some countries have reciprocal programmes such as the 'working holiday' programme Canada and Australia have with each other. It will involve some research on your part, but is a more likely option than finding a way to come to the US in your current circumstances.

The best advice I can offer if you wish to come to the US is to find some way to continue your education to gain skills that the US wants and is willing to hire workers from outside of the US to get; or to develop one of your talents or skills - such as photography - to an excellence that makes you unique and in demand. There is a visa for those with an outstanding talent that would also allow you to come to the US.

I'm sorry that I have nothing more positive to offer, but please do try to explore other options. While environment contributes to what makes a person happy or unhappy, it won't make an unhappy person happier unless they can learn how to find happiness within themselves first. People can be unhappy in the best and most supportive environments just as much as people can find happiness in what appear to be the worst and least supportive of environments. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but our problems don't always get left behind when we move away to somewhere else. Maybe you can find another supportive environment in Europe (maybe even elsewhere in Germany) that will allow you to be the person you want to be. If you really need to get away, maybe looking for work on a cruise ship might offer you enough changes of environment that you will feel more able to deal with daily stresses?

Regardless, good luck to you.

Wow! you answered the question so kindly! I am thanking you on her behalf if she has not done it yet.