Discrimination against women

[Casprd 167]

I trust my Arab fiance more than I would trust one of my same nationality, religion, etc.

And why would that be? Have you perhaps seen some pattern of consistent behaviors or actions in this group? Does this lead you to bias or pre-formed opinions? Wouldn't that be discrimination then? Think of it from this aspect and maybe you can see how the CO can come to their conclusion.

[JerryP 2]

No Im not royalty, Im just Queen because my fiance says Iam the Queen of Egypt. We have discussed my moving over there and his mother and father are always asking me to go sit over there with them and forget this nonsense. Immigration agent told me Egyptian families teach themselves to be hypocrites and fake liking you. I have spent 60 days straight with my fiance and family and I do not think you can fake liking somebody for such a long time. No, he would not drop me like a hot potatoe as we have alrady discuss this and maybe thats what we will end up doing. What do you think? You think it may be fake? pls. answer

Maybe your fiance means you are in fact the "Queen of De Nile" (Denial....) and it's an inside family joke; Do you realize that people can pretend for YEARS on end that they like someone? Especially if the end result will benefit them in some way.

Bottom line, I have to applaud all of the people who have responded thus far, I think you are all being honest and open and not sugar-coating it like I see so many other responders do. The Middle East/North Africa is in fact a very HIGH fraud area and what these people are saying about the cultural norms are very true. Do you really think there is a shortage of younger women of their own culture in their own country to marry? Most of these men do not even RESPECT American women, so in their minds, if they can put one over on you, then they have proven their point about American women.

But forget what I have to say, if you really love this man, then tell him you will go live in his country for 2 years and see how it goes. I would venture to say the same for the old guys who want the 19 year old wives--let them know you will come live in THEIR country for 2 years and then see if they still want the marriage. Imagine how much lighter the immigration paper load would be if this were the case.

I just don't want to see you posting on these boards in a year or so saying how he left you and you want to get him deported and why, oh why didn't the government warn you or protect you in any way.....there are plenty of posts on here like this, you can check into it yourself.

Just being honest folks, not trying to rile anyone up.

[K and L 27]

I'm surprised they allowed your petition to expire - most consulates will keep a petition active while it is in AR. I know of some people here who were in AR for a year or more. Something sounds off here, like there may have been a RFE that was ignored on his side or a third interview that never got scheduled. Have you talked to USCIS or the consulate for more information? You should. You should have been given the opportunity to appeal, if they were denying it, and it sounds as though the consulate just *poof* let it go.

In any case: I agree with the posters above that if you want to be together, the easiest way to do that IS to go and live there. Get married. Live together there for a year or two, and THEN file for DCF. What better way to show them that it's not fraud than to have more time as a married couple, living together - a couple who can interview together (Stokes, if they truly believe it is fraudulent).

[JanaWithoutKhodor 3]

I previously posted on this as it pertains to my situation too. While I understand the frustration, I do not in any way blame USCIS or CO officers for doing their job. We as Americans pay tax dollars for these people to do their jobs, to do it effectively and to take caution where caution should be taken. I know my case is by no standards "normal" and I expected added scrutiny. I am in public service myself and I am by no means a trusting individual. Love does create added blinders for many and I know that no matter how many precautions I take, people can lie, especially when it is a matter of survival for them. I don't think this is discrimination, this is standard procedure as others have said for situations which have consistently ended with the same result. While it does make it more difficult for my fiance' and I, I am prepared to move if I need to in order to be with him. Unfortunately, it is not discrimination, it is just the way it is, no matter how painful it is at the moment.....

[I+H 11]

"Prior experience" is the term you are looking for.

That very well may be it. I feel like there is a word just hanging out there I just can't grasp it...

[rin and john 71]

That very well may be it. I feel like there is a word just hanging out there I just can't grasp it...

"Profiling"? We all do it every day. If I go out jogging and see a small dog in someone's front yard, I carry on. If there is a rotweiler in their front yard, I go to the opposite side of the street and am much more alert. We tend to "profile" based on what we believe to be normal based on our own experiences and cultures.

Edited May 2, 2011 by rin and john

[I+H 11]

"Profiling"? We all do it every day. If I go out jogging and see a small dog in someone's front yard, I carry on. If there is a rotweiler in their front yard, I go to the opposite side of the street and am much more alert. We tend to "profile" based on what we believe to be normal based on our own experiences and cultures.

Profiling sounds about right. Discrimination just sounds bogus to me. It says, "poor me". I don't know why. But profiling fits this topic much better.

Don't you hate that when you have a word for something and you just can't think of it? Thank God for VJ!!!!

[Pedro Thiago 2]

I agree with many of the other posts on here that you should honestly bring up living with your fiance in his country and start making plans towards it. If he still seems just as excited to be with you, even as you push forward with your plans, that would seem like a good indicator of his intentions.

[And_Sam 44]

I'm sorry for all the frustration and disappointment you have to be feeling since the beginning of your journey.

I don't know if it's discrimination or profiling that the CO/USCIS has done. I do know from our experience it may be something else that has raised a red flag for your relationship.

I am 17 years older than my husband and we didn't have any problem with his visa, but again we filed CR1 and I was there at his interview with him. So maybe it was because the CO was able to see how we interact with each other? I don't know, but I do know that he received his visa exactly 1 week after his interview.

I also do know that they did extensive background checks on both of us. Perhaps there is something like a previous filing for either one of you or they have evidence that he had contact with other women from other countries? Not that I am saying that he did, but age differences can cause a red flag

[K and L 27]

And Sam - I'm older than mine by 10 years (almost to the day), and we also had no problems throughout the visa process. Like you, I attended his interview. Granted, my husband is from Brazil, not Egypt, so there's a smaller rate of immigration & it's not really taboo to date older women there. I do believe that attending the interview was a significant mark in our favor.

I think anyone who thinks there's any doubt that they may get their visa (IR1/CR1/K3/K1) - due to an age difference, a cultural difference, or some other red flag that you're aware of being a possible problem - should just suck up the travel and go. If your presence can sway the CO in your favor, it's money well spent. Otherwise, you could be stuck in a look of AR or appeals and faced with the possible requirement to start over. At least if you go, you can see your other half again (always a good thing!), you know that you have given your best effort, and you can start appealing with the consulate to try to keep things at the consulate (try to procure another interview - even if it must be a Stokes interview - while you're there, make an appointment to see WHY you were denied and try to appeal it before the recommendation to deny is sent State-side, etc).

[pushbrk 13,105]

Could somebody explain to me how can immigration officials discriminate so bluntly and openly when a woman is older than the man? I see all the time how older men are allowed to marry younger women and bring them to the USA with no problem, but when it comes to older women and younger men they either deny the application or just ignore the application until the time expires. When you apply for the first time they see your birth certificates yet they take your money, then when it goes to your fiance's country they ask you to pay all this fees for medical, visa, etc., when they already know they not going to issue a visa. Is this legally stealing? For 2 years you just get ignored and. They give your fiance 2 bogus interviews because all they ask is if you paid to get married or if they payed you. Not even look at your papers that proof your relationship. I know for a fact lots of couples that are the same age and they just get married to come to USA. Just like I see all this 83 year old men marrying 18 year old girls. Pls the only person they fooling is the smart agents of the immigration dept. Men 60 years older than their spouse, yeah I believe that, or 40+ years older. Anybody out there with the same problem? I would love to hear from you. Im from USA my fiance is from Egypt.

You seem to be under the impression that you're purchasing a product and are entitled to own it. Nobody is stopping you from marrying this man. The issue is not one of being allowed to marry. It's about immigrating to the USA. All fiance visa cases that end in denial have paid the same fees. Paying the fees entitles you to have your petition adjudicated and a visa application processed through to a decision. The result is always in doubt until the verdict is in.

Based on what you've written in this thread and others, the advice you've received multiple times from multiple sources, to arrange to live together abroad for a while, is the only advice likely to lead to the end result you want. Yes, lots of people in similar situations to yours are disappointed in the end result of their immigration process.