Discrimination against women

[queen01 0]

But you expect your SO to do what you do not want to do?

Not at all, because we can always travel back and forth. and if we decide to live over there it would be our decision and not a decision made by a person that does not even know us. Or am I wrong?

[oldahmed 38]

I really do think that people in the US do still raise more of an eyebrow out older woman dating younger men than older men dating younger women. It is unfortunate but in my experience true. Maybe the US government doesn't care, hence the NOA2. I never considering the child bearing aspect of other cultures though. How sad that just because you cannot produce a child your relationship wouldn't be taken seriously. If they were to discover a young woman could not have children would they deny a visa based on that? Odd....

I didn't take into consideration other societies general view on these issues, whether it be based on culture or religion.

As "Vanessa&Tony" mentioned, it's not the US who cares whether you can bear a child or not. It's your fiance's culture, and USCIS look at that cultural aspect to consider if the relationship is truthful or not which makes sense.

[JanaWithoutKhodor 3]

Yes I understand lots of women get taken. Does marriage come with a guarantee? I work for the court system and I get hundreds of divorces coming thru my desk and sometimes they have been married 1 month. Difference is they the same age and nationality. I have seen divorces of people who do not even speak the same language. Is this fraud on UCIS? I have seen people come to the court house to get married, decrepid old men with 18-20 year old girls. The man can not even walk by himself. Is this fraud on UCIS? Just because I marry a person of my age and nationality does not give me any guarantee as to the lenght of my marriage. I trust my Arab fiance more than I would trust one of my same nationality, religion, etc. The only thing that is guaranteed in life is that you will someday die, other than that nothing is guaranteed.

I agree, I am in a similar situation as you right now. I am older than my fiance', we are just starting out this process and it appears it is going to be a much longer and harder road than I thought. There are no guarantees on any marriage and it is difficult enough the way it is to be so far away from the one you love and to also have everyone judging the relationship based on a number. Good luck to you.....

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Could somebody explain to me how can immigration officials discriminate so bluntly and openly when a woman is older than the man? I see all the time how older men are allowed to marry younger women and bring them to the USA with no problem, but when it comes to older women and younger men they either deny the application or just ignore the application until the time expires. When you apply for the first time they see your birth certificates yet they take your money, then when it goes to your fiance's country they ask you to pay all this fees for medical, visa, etc., when they already know they not going to issue a visa. Is this legally stealing? For 2 years you just get ignored and. They give your fiance 2 bogus interviews because all they ask is if you paid to get married or if they payed you. Not even look at your papers that proof your relationship. I know for a fact lots of couples that are the same age and they just get married to come to USA. Just like I see all this 83 year old men marrying 18 year old girls. Pls the only person they fooling is the smart agents of the immigration dept. Men 60 years older than their spouse, yeah I believe that, or 40+ years older. Anybody out there with the same problem? I would love to hear from you. Im from USA my fiance is from Egypt.

USCIS is in no way discriminatory toward women. USCIS (immigration) does not even issue visas. They approve petitions and later AOS and such.

The Department of State issues visas. It is their duty to assure that visas are issued properly and that family based visas are for families and not used to circumvent immigration law. You wouldn't know from the constant whining on VJ of memebrs that expect their visas texted to them in a few seconds, but family based visas are issued very fast compared to other types.

When a person applies to the Department of State (not immigration) for a family based visa and the circumstances of that application are contrary to local customs, it alerts DOS officials to possible fraud. If it is 90 degrees outside and someone is walking around the department store in a long coat...does he get more scrutiny from security? When there is a history of ohter men from particular countries marrying or getting engaged to American women older than them and then abandoning the women and just immigrating illegally into the US...yes, men from those countries will get more scrutiny. You can avoid this by being properly prepared to show your case is not one of the fraudulent ones.

Your anger should be focused at the dishonest men from that country, not people doing their job to protect US citizens.

[queen01 0]

I agree, I am in a similar situation as you right now. I am older than my fiance', we are just starting out this process and it appears it is going to be a much longer and harder road than I thought. There are no guarantees on any marriage and it is difficult enough the way it is to be so far away from the one you love and to also have everyone judging the relationship based on a number. Good luck to you.....

Good luck to you too. My application was not denied, it was just ignored. The only time I heard from the agents was to tell me that if I wanted to be with my fiance then move to Egypt and good luck. They just kept our paper work until after 20 months later they sent me letter that our time expired but I was welcome to apply again.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

That is why I am saying I do not think discrimination is the right word for it. Maybe a term cannot be given, it just is what it is, a red flag based on a suspicion. Period.

"Prior experience" is the term you are looking for.

[queen01 0]

lets face it,with this age gap and your first try with the embassy,it seems like cr-1 is the best optipon.

i personally would move to egypt for one year,no longer,get married and gather evidence and try for a cr-1.in middle east marriag has a higher sense of priority compared to engagement.its a bigger deal,people still look at it as a life long commitment,so i think that would give COs enough to approve you within the next try if you get denied this time.

i know how hard AP can be,but hey youre not denied.

my point is,understand where the COs and consulate are coming from.unfortunately some middle easterns think once they move to america it will be like heaven,72 virgins waiting to serve them,without them having to work a day or have a worry,thats why consulates use long APs and denials to seperate people who are in it for the greencard from real couples.

If I move to Egypt for a year that means I would loose my job. Then they would have another excuse being that I would not be able to show I can support him and he would not become a burden to the goverment. That would be another issue they would raise.

[JanaWithoutKhodor 3]

Good luck to you too. My application was not denied, it was just ignored. The only time I heard from the agents was to tell me that if I wanted to be with my fiance then move to Egypt and good luck. They just kept our paper work until after 20 months later they sent me letter that our time expired but I was welcome to apply again.

I am sorry to hear you have had such an awful experience. My fiance' and I have discussed what we will do if the process takes longer than we expect. We have been apart long enough, want to have children and therefore it will involve me leaving the U.S. to get married and live with him in Lebanon. I understand what you are saying about not wanting to move if you don't have too. In my case I feel I am being selfish as he does not want to move here, I just struggle so much with the climate there that if we can try to get through this process within the next 6 months (yes, dreaming) then I won't have to move.

I hope the next go around for you goes much smoother. Hopefully you have been able to obtain more documentation since the initial filing. When I first met my fiance' I wasn't thinking, gee, someday I might end up engaged to this guy I am talking to and need to save our chats for immigration purposes, so, the majority of what I have is from a good 3-4 months past the starting of our relationship. Again, good luck to you and it will only help you to remain calm with immigration officials no matter how frustrated you are:S Take care.....

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yes I understand lots of women get taken. Does marriage come with a guarantee? I work for the court system and I get hundreds of divorces coming thru my desk and sometimes they have been married 1 month. Difference is they the same age and nationality. I have seen divorces of people who do not even speak the same language. Is this fraud on UCIS? I have seen people come to the court house to get married, decrepid old men with 18-20 year old girls. The man can not even walk by himself. Is this fraud on UCIS? Just because I marry a person of my age and nationality does not give me any guarantee as to the lenght of my marriage. I trust my Arab fiance more than I would trust one of my same nationality, religion, etc. The only thing that is guaranteed in life is that you will someday die, other than that nothing is guaranteed.

They do not care if you get taken, they do not care if you get divorced. You make the error (often made) that the government cares about YOU. Most assuredly they DO NOT. They care about somone using a US citizen to circumvent the immigration laws to protect the rest of us.

The former Soviet Union is full of fraudulent women (often men posing as women) who "take" American men for millions of dollars and NO ONE cares, because these "frauds" do not even apply for a visa. They do not want to come to the USA and only want to milk their traget for as long as they can. These same countries are considered "low fraud" for family based visas and often the consulates issue family visas with little or now questions asked. There is little evidence that people applying for visas in these countries do so fraudulently.

The Middle East and African countries are just rife with fraud for family visas. Also some parts of Asia. Some for different reasons. Family visa abuse is a common way for families to be reunited in the US in some of these countries. It is a way to bring sister and brother and cousin. In some countries it is a way to get enemies of the US into the country.

THAT is what they are concerned about. When you present your case and your case is crazy wierd by local customs...what are they supposed to think?

[katiemanny 64]

USCIS is in no way discriminatory toward women. USCIS (immigration) does not even issue visas. They approve petitions and later AOS and such.

The Department of State issues visas. It is their duty to assure that visas are issued properly and that family based visas are for families and not used to circumvent immigration law. You wouldn't know from the constant whining on VJ of memebrs that expect their visas texted to them in a few seconds, but family based visas are issued very fast compared to other types.

When a person applies to the Department of State (not immigration) for a family based visa and the circumstances of that application are contrary to local customs, it alerts DOS officials to possible fraud. If it is 90 degrees outside and someone is walking around the department store in a long coat...does he get more scrutiny from security? When there is a history of ohter men from particular countries marrying or getting engaged to American women older than them and then abandoning the women and just immigrating illegally into the US...yes, men from those countries will get more scrutiny. You can avoid this by being properly prepared to show your case is not one of the fraudulent ones.

Your anger should be focused at the dishonest men from that country, not people doing their job to protect US citizens.

I agree with you, USCIS nor US Consulate discriminate against any gender, this is not a "innocent until proven guilty" thing.

[Samoray 165]

If you're planning to move to Egypt, you should seriously consider learning Arabic even though you could find a job as an English teacher easily, there are many language schools that are looking for Native English speakers ( Americans Or British ) to hire, Good Luck

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

To shut all the doubters up, and that includes the US consular officers in Cairo, Queen (are you really . . . gasp . . . from a royal family?), I too would suggest you move to Egypt for a couple of years. If your marriage is still going strong afterward, you could directly apply for an IR-1 visa via DC, don't have to adjust status and don't have to remove conditions either.

Why don't you run this by your fiance and ask him if he would mind living with his American wife in Egypt instead of the US? You would be able to mingle with his family and friends, learn the culture and the language, and it would be an experience you will remember as long as you live. Best of all, it would erase any doubts that your relationship is real and not guided by your fiance's desire to immigrate to the US at all cost.

Please report back and let us know his response. Doubters will assume that he's going to drop you like a hot potato, but you can prove them all wrong. Go for it?

Wish you the very best for your future.

[queen01 0]

To shut all the doubters up, and that includes the US consular officers in Cairo, Queen (are you really . . . gasp . . . from a royal family?), I too would suggest you move to Egypt for a couple of years. If your marriage is still going strong afterward, you could directly apply for an IR-1 visa via DC, don't have to adjust status and don't have to remove conditions either.

Why don't you run this by your fiance and ask him if he would mind living with his American wife in Egypt instead of the US? You would be able to mingle with his family and friends, learn the culture and the language, and it would be an experience you will remember as long as you live. Best of all, it would erase any doubts that your relationship is real and not guided by your fiance's desire to immigrate to the US at all cost.

Please report back and let us know his response. Doubters will assume that he's going to drop you like a hot potato, but you can prove them all wrong. Go for it?

Wish you the very best for your future.

No Im not royalty, Im just Queen because my fiance says Iam the Queen of Egypt. We have discussed my moving over there and his mother and father are always asking me to go sit over there with them and forget this nonsense. Immigration agent told me Egyptian families teach themselves to be hypocrites and fake liking you. I have spent 60 days straight with my fiance and family and I do not think you can fake liking somebody for such a long time. We keep in touch over the webcam and we cry together because we miss each other and I am talking about his mother. I know they love me just like I love them and I am welcome in their home if I want to live there. No, he would not drop me like a hot potatoe as we have alrady discuss this and maybe thats what we will end up doing. When I am over there, they buy me clothes so I can fit right in with the rest of the family. What do you think? You think it may be fake? pls. answer

[nurse1967 287]

It might me fake and it might be for real. Only time will tell. As I asked before, what is the family situation? Are they well off? Poor as dirt? Exactly how much older than him are you? I think those are some prudent questions. I think the CO's and the Embassy have a much better grasp regarding potential for fraud than any of us who are in love with these men do. When I went to the Embassy to get the non-objection letter to marry the Embassy worker sent my husband to sit down so she could talk with me in private. She flat out asked me if I was aware of the ####### loads of fraud that goes on in Egypt. I told her I was. I had done tons of searching on the net about it because I am a skeptic by nature. I wasn't so blinded by love goggles that it never entered my mind. I have been married to my husband for over 2 years now and he will apply for his 10 year GC in July. Can I tell you 110% that he is for real? NO. But, honestly I don't think you can be 110% sure of anyone no matter where they come from. I pay close attention even now to anything that might seem out of line. I don't want to be one of these silly women who have their world shattered because they overlooked something. I love my husband very much but I refuse to stick my head in the sand and not protect myself. But, that's just how I AM.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

No Im not royalty, Im just Queen because my fiance says Iam the Queen of Egypt. We have discussed my moving over there and his mother and father are always asking me to go sit over there with them and forget this nonsense. Immigration agent told me Egyptian families teach themselves to be hypocrites and fake liking you. I have spent 60 days straight with my fiance and family and I do not think you can fake liking somebody for such a long time. We keep in touch over the webcam and we cry together because we miss each other and I am talking about his mother. I know they love me just like I love them and I am welcome in their home if I want to live there. No, he would not drop me like a hot potatoe as we have alrady discuss this and maybe thats what we will end up doing. When I am over there, they buy me clothes so I can fit right in with the rest of the family. What do you think? You think it may be fake? pls. answer

Whether anyone here thinks it is fake or real is not an issue. If you want to be together, then be together. It sounds as though you only want to be together in the US. I lived in Ukraine and we still have a flat their that we own free and clear. when I retire and Alla is a citizen we will prbably be there as much as here, maybe more. It is far cheaper to live there than to live here. we live here now because it is best for our family, it gets Alla the education she needs to be an English teacher (it is far easier to get a job teaching English anywhere if you are a native speaker or have an education in a native English speaking country) and once she becomes a citizen (next year) we can live anywhere we want and come back when we want.

Why do you allow the government to keep you apart?